Cosmic Book News

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Comic Book News

Review: Guardians of the Galaxy #18 (Bendis)

Bendis has earned praise writing street-level crime fantasy books – such as Daredevil.  He’s unquestionably talented at producing such fare.   Sadly, he has no “street cred” as a science-fiction writer.  And it shows.  It’s what people mean when they say they don’t like the “voice” of this series – especially in comparison to Volume II (you know, the Non-Bendis-Written material upon which the summer’s biggest movie was based).
 
Volume II soared into the awe and wonder of the cosmos with the Guardians directly – often single-handedly – involved in competently handling universe changing events.  With Volume III, Bendis has reduced the Guardians to a marginally competent, third-rate Avengers-lite team; only slightly less obsessively Earthcentric than the actual Avengers and definitely not ready for prime time.  He stuffs as many Avengers as possible into the team and has Star-Lord taking marching orders from the Avengers or worrying about what the Avengers will think about his actions.  I’m sure at some point he’ll have the Guardians take on Kingpin in Hell’s Kitchen – and probably lose the fight.  His conception of the Guardians has them taking on small problems mostly concerning Earth – and barely being able to handle these small problems.  Of course, lots don’t like this “voice.”  Face it, if not for the movie hype, this book would’ve been cancelled six ssues ago due to lack of interest/sales as nothing much of consequence has happened up to now.  Even Brevoort has admitted that sales of this book are primarily due to movie hype.
 
This issue has been eagerly anticipated by several different factions.  Rich Rider fans have hoped it will bring his return to full duty status in the Marvel Universe as the powerful, bad-ass hero he was in Volume IV of the Nova series.  NINO fans hope it will be Rich’s death story so as to cement NINO in place once and for all.   Neither faction will be satisfied by this issue.  It’s just a long lead-in to a larger story arc that only begins to answer the question posed by Gamora at the beginning of the issue:  “Where is Nova?  What happened to Richard Ryder?”  At least Gamora knows who the REAL Nova is.  And apparently Bendis has spelling problems.  Hey Bendis – it’s spelled R-i-d-e-r.
 
Unless Bendis uncharacteristically resists the obvious clichés being telegraphed in this issue, this story arc will likely be a gift to the NINO fans who want Rich gone once and for all.  Star-Lord appears to be under the influence of a Cosmic Cube trying to protect itself – and (the actual) Nova appears to be getting ready to take the Cube away from him before Thanos can gain possession of it.  You can guess what happens next.  Particularly with the Revengers set to guest-star next issue.
 
I will say that this issue is the best issue of the worst GotG series to date.  It has more competently performed action than all previous issues combined.  And Rich’s brief action sequences and panel time are better than all 20 issues of NINO combined.  I also enjoyed seeing Star-Lord back in uniform and actually acting like his Volume II self rather than the 20-something-year-old doofus that he has been morphed into by Bendis. I enjoyed seeing Drax in his intelligent, muscular, tattoo-less, purple-skull-cap-wearing incarnation obsessed with killing Thanos.   Thanos himself came across as less menacing/powerful than he should have been.  Thanos’ portrayal is the big disappointment in this issue.  Thanos plans for all possible contingencies.  He should’ve already found several ways to exit the Cancerverse independent of the Cube and harassment from Star-Lord, (the real) Nova, and Drax.  He’s pretty much an ineffectual talker at this point.
 
The art and coloring are outstanding.  As always, McGuinness and Ponsor do not disappoint.  As is typical, the art is the best feature of Volume III.
 
So, it’s a mixed bag with Bendis apparently setting up to flip the bird to the Rider fans once again.  Hold on – because it’s going to be a rocky ride for the next couple of months as both fan factions invested in the outcome of this storyline engage in some bruising fights in comic book forums.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Comic Book News Marvel

Advanced Review: Guardians of the Galaxy #18

This independent reporter was invited to interview writer, Brian M. Bendis, in regard to Issue #18 of GotGINO (Guardians of the Galaxy In Name Only). Mr. Bendis insisted that the interview take place at the headquarters of Comic Book Resources. This reporter arrived at CBR at the designated time and was promptly escorted to a room containing a full size replica of the Game of Thrones’ Iron Throne placed high upon a dais with no visible staircase. A bell rang, and CBR’s staff of comic book reviewers and forum moderators rushed into the room to form a human staircase leading up to the throne. Bendis’ Chancellor, the one-eyed hunchback known as Jonah, slowly ascended the human staircase to stand behind and to the right of the throne beside a small table containing a vial. A trumpet sounded, and Bendis rushed in from a side door, rapidly ascended the human staircase, and plopped down upon the throne. He looked at Jonah and nodded affirmatively. Jonah picked up the vial – now clearly seen to be labelled ‘Rogain’ – squirted some of its content into his hands, and began giving Bendis a slow scalp massage. The human staircase of CBR comic book reviewers and CBR forum moderators then dispersed – bowing to Bendis, surrounding the Iron Throne, and hissing at this reporter.

 

Jonah: [frowning at TL] It is customary to bow in the presence of the Master.

TL: He’s not my master, and my people don’t bow.

Jonah: [strong look of disapproval on his face, yells] You are not among your people now!

TL: Just the same, we don’t bow.

Jonah: [falls to his knees before Bendis] Master! Please allow me to ban this filthy infidel as we do all filthy infidels who refuse to conform to our worship of you and your company! Or, if it please you, allow me to subject him to all the insults regularly directed toward him by all your sycophants who frequent our forums! I beseech thee!

BMB: [waves his had dismissively] Nay. A King must be merciful and forgiving. I grant him Pardon for these and all other offenses against the Crown and the Realm. But pray, Jonah, while kneeling shine my shoes. As always, their luster must exceed that of my head’s luster to draw attention from it. Now send in my fool so that we may begin with some entertainment.

Jonah: [Nods to a guard at the side door. Begins shining shoes. The side door opens and Tom Brevoort runs out holding three juggling pins. He fumbles the pins, trips over his duster and falls to the floor knocking himself out. His funny brown hat falls off and a half-eaten Egg McMuffin rolls from underneath it. The whole room laughs as he is carried back through the door].

TL: [laughing] Thanks, Bendis. That was funny.

BMB: Come back on Wednesday to see my Chief Fool, Wacker, perform.

TL: I may take you up on that. I’d like to begin by asking you a few questions about GotGINO #18. I notice that you don’t make spelling mistakes with headliner characters – so we don’t see mis-spells like ‘Toney Starke’ or ‘Thore’ or ‘Steve Rodgers’ in your books. Yet, you’ve consistently mis-spelled Rich Rider’s name as ‘Ryder.’ Do you have some sort of intermittent dyslexia or do you just not care enough to get it right?

Jonah: [stops shining shoes, jumps to his feet, a look of outrage on his face; the hissing of the CBR forum moderators and comic book reviewers increases in volume to near deafening levels; Jonah points accusatorily at TL and thunderously yells] Hold, peasant! You will NOT question the Master’s infallibility! Guards! Seize the heretic!

BMB: [raises his hand to the approaching guards] Hold! [to the CBR moderators/reviewers] Silence! [to Jonah] Resume polishing. The un-believer has been given an audience, and the ways of his people are different than ours. We shall tolerate his heresy by and by.

Jonah: [shoots TL a look of pure hatred; bows to BMB] Yes, Master. Do you mean for me to polish your shoes or your head?

BMB: My head.

Jonah: [retrieves a chamois cloth from his pocket, sprinkles Rogaine onto it, begins buffing BMB’s head]

TL: In a recent interview, you blame DnA for killing Rich Rider in an apparent attempt to deflect blame for whatever you’re going to do in GotGINO #18. Yet, DnA have been quoted in an interview in which I served as a questioner that they in fact did not kill Rich – just marooned him in the Cancerverse until their book was returned from what was then termed a ‘hiatus.’ Only later did we learn that in Marvel-speak the word ‘hiatus’ meant ‘cancelled’ despite Quesada, and more recently, Marvel Editor Bill Rosemann, saying that Rich’s book had solid sales numbers — as did Volume II of GotG. Care to come clean and admit that Rich’s ‘death’ is just an editorial ret-con to make room for Loeb’s awful NINO, and the garbage that Wacker spouts about sales being responsible for Volume II GotG being cancelled is also a lie? You guys just wanted to cash in on the expected surge in sales for cosmic coming from the Guardians of the Galaxy movie, right?

Jonah: [the hissing of the CBR moderators/reviewers again increases in volume; Jonah whines] Master, how much must we abide? Let me at least ban the infidel heretic.

BMB: Nay. I wilst clearest this matter upest. I say again unto you, heretic, that all is the fault of DnA.

TL: I guess next you’ll be blaming Moon Knight on them.

BMB: [eyes narrow] Just so. DnA told me to write Moon Knight that way. Yeah. That’s right. They made me write Moon Knight that way. Abnett tied me to a chair and Lanning pistol whipped me until I agreed to sign my name to their treatment of Moon Knight. Yeah. That’s the ticket. So, once again, it was DnA’s fault.

TL: And Secret Invasion?

BMB: The fault of DnA.

TL: Of course.

BMB: I do tire of this line of questioning. I much prefer the soft-ball questions and flattery of IGN or CBR. Jonah, show the heretic out.

Jonah: [CBR Moderators/Reviewers form another human staircase; Jonah decends; points to the door] This way, filthy infidel.

TL: [turns to leave; then darkness]

TL: I awoke tied to a chair in a sub-basement of CBR HQ. Other political prisoners were tied up next to me. We were subjected to terrible torture – including power-point presentations of every issue of NINO and GotGINO with commentary from Loeb and Bendis; daily recitations from Brevoort’s Tumblr page; and screenings of every episode of Loeb’s and Wacker’s Ultimate Spiderman, Hulk and the Agents of SMASH, and Avengers cartoons. Just as we were about to give up hope, we were rescued by a Commando Team led by Stingerman, dmills, Kalen Rann, MysterioHelmet, MBond, Sephiroth89, Twinkfist, and NovaSpaceKnightBetaReyX51. To this brave Commando Team, we former political prisoners are forever grateful. Unfortunately, TL’s recordings of this interview were not recovered during the initial rescue. They were recovered at a later time by Bothan Spies. Many Bothan Spies gave their lives to bring you this interview. I hope you enjoyed it. –TL

*Special thanks to MBond for the inspiration for the spelling joke.

Note:  This is an article in a series of satirical/parody Opinion-Editorial type articles and reviews of GotGINO and NINO.  If you’re a GotGINO, NINO, or Bendis fan; you’re probably not going to like it.  So, spare yourself the upset, stop reading right now, and go on over to CBR to read any article heaping un-deserved praise upon NINO, GotGINO, Bendis, etc.  You have been warned.  Proceed at your own risk of outrage – and don’t whine about it on the forums or on Facebook if this article presents views radically different than yours. You have been warned.

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Comic Book News Marvel

Review: NINO Nova #20

Marvel Vice-President, Tom Brevoort, agreed to grant this independent reporter an interview over breakfast under the condition that I pick up the tab.  He asked me to meet him at a McDonalds just off Times Square.  I entered the restaurant and saw him sitting by himself in a booth wearing his signature brown hat and duster.

TL:   Good morning, Mr. Brevoort.

Brevoort:  [looks TL up and down]   I thought you’d be taller.

TL:  I’m 6 feet tall.

Brevoort:  [motioning to a restaurant employee approaching with a platter full of Egg McMuffins and hash browns]  Pony up, son!

TL:  [hands the waitress a credit card]  I don’t think I’ve ever spent $80 at a McDonalds before.

Brevoort:  [hands TL one Egg McMuffin and one hashbrown; keeps the rest for himself]  Really?  I have.  Regularly.

TL:  I’m a little surprised you granted me this interview.  I mean, given that we’ve had a pretty contentious set of exchanges in the past.

Brevoort:  Wilth, Shceeber culdnt bay tady.

TL:  Excuse me?

Brevoort:  [swallows mouthful of Egg McMuffin]  Well, CBR couldn’t buy today.

TL:  Of course.

TL:  I just finished reading NINO #20 and I wanted to get your reaction to some of my observations about NINO in general and this issue in particular.

Brevoort:  [rolls eyes]  Again with the NINO stuff?  Really?  He’s ‘Nova’ because I made him Nova.  There’s no ‘In Name Only’ to it.  Take it or leave it.  I replaced Rider with Sam; and it’s Sam or nothing.

TL:  I know that’s you position, and I’m glad you brought it up because that was going to be one of my questions.  He’s never been inducted into the Corps by anyone empowered to do so, he doesn’t report to a higher authority, he’s had no training and is unfamiliar with any pan-galactic law granting the Corps law enforcement authority, he doesn’t live up to the ideals of the Corps, and even after issue #20 it’s not clear whether the so-called ‘Black Novas’ were criminals or eventually officially sanctioned.  He’s wearing his dad’s uniform and pretending to be a Nova.  How is he anything other than a Nova In Name Only?

Brevoort:  You cosmic fans think about stuff too much.  Look – we just want to sell books.  That’s what we do.  It doesn’t have to make sense.  The zombies will still buy it.  My advice to you and your little cosmic fan friends – just stop thinking and start buying.

TL:  In other words, become zombies.

Brevoort:   Sure.  Whatever.  [Drops some McMuffins into the pockets of his duster; puts a McMuffin and a hash brown under his hat].

TL:  So now I understand the outfit.

Brevoort:  Yeah – the coat has deep pockets for snacks and the hat traps heat to keep one warm for a mid-morning snack later.

TL:  What about the child soldier issue then.  You say forget logic and just go with it.  But, come on.  In this issue he skips school, almost dies from poisoning, and destroys the defenses at a military outpost that he should have protected.  In fact, why were the defenses activated against him anyway if he’s a real Nova as you claim?  Particularly since the computer recognized him as Jesse.  Furthermore, isn’t it poor parenting for both of his parents to encourage him to risk his life?  Isn’t it a poor example for him to skip school and to be disrespectful to teachers as he has in the past?  Aren’t you sending the wrong message to the 8-year-olds at whom this book is presumably aimed?

Brevoort:  [slowly finishes a hash brown before answering]  Bucky, Mulan, Katness, Arya Stark, Joan of Arc, etc.

TL:   Precedents?  Your argument is precedents?  Just because minors have risked their lives before in fiction and historical fact doesn’t make it morally right in reality or in fiction in the present.  And most of those weren’t encouraged to do so by their parents.  And presumably you’d like these 8-year-olds at whom this book is aimed to be able to read so they can continue to buy your products – so what’s with the disrespect for school and teachers?

Brevoort:  [motions to my untouched hash browns]  You gonna eat that?

TL:  It’s all yours.

Brevoort:  [finishes the hash brown; un-raps another McMuffin]  You do know this is fantasy, right?

TL:  Of course.  But shouldn’t it follow some internal logic?  Otherwise, it talks down to the reader.  Also, don’t you have a responsibility to send an appropriate message to the young readers you’re trying to capture?  Is glorifying using children as soldiers and deprecating education the right message?

Brevoort:  It’s selling above cancellation threshold, so the zombies like it well enough.  Like I said before…………

TL:  Stop thinking and start buying.

Brevoort:  [winks] Riiiiiight.  On to a more important topic.  Have you tried their new Peaches & Cream fried pies?

TL:  No.  But order away if you like.

Brevoort:  [waves at the employees to get their attention; Points at the fried pie rack and puts up 5 fingers]

TL:  Sorry, but I have to follow up because that unbridled Capitalism argument just doesn’t cut it.  What about the moral implications of using a child as a soldier?  You claim NINO is a real Nova just because you say so.   If he’s a real Nova, that makes him a soldier.  Rich was at least enlistment age when he was deputized.  NINO was 14 when he was first sent into battle with minimal training.  The entire world is now condemning use of children as combatants and as shields for combatants.  Why is Marvel/Disney glorifying it?

Brevoort:  Well maybe if this place would hire a few 8-year-olds, I could get my fried pies a little faster.  [yells at the front counter]  Hey!  Where’s my pies?

TL:  You can’t be serious.

Brevoort:  Like I said……….

TL:  Stop thinking, start buying.

Brevoort:  [winks]  Riiiiight.  [snatches a sack full of pies from a McD employee]  You don’t want one of these do you?

TL:  [hands credit card to McD employee]  All yours.

TL:  All right.  What about the weapon of mass destruction issue?  NINO is portrayed as an irresponsible minor.  He skips school, is disrespectful to teachers, he’s negligent in babysitting his sister allowing her to put on the ‘magic helmet’ and inadvertently do damage.  He’s portrayed as having at least Centurion level powers – essentially, the destructive powers of a tactical nuclear weapon.  How is it that all the adults in the Marvel Universe are just fine with him having enough power to level a city – yet being demonstrably irresponsible in its use?

Brevoort:  [stares with a mouthful of fried pie]  Haff yubn lstning?

TL:  Stop thinking, start buying.

Brevoort:  [swallows the pie] Right.  And speaking of buying, I’m getting a little thirsty. [motions at the shake machine and puts up 2 fingers]

TL:  Go for it.

TL:  Let’s move on to characterization.  In this issue, Rocket is written completely out of character as a thug who beats up a doctor who is only trying to help him.  Fans have also been upset by the writing out of character of most of the cosmic characters who have appeared in NINO’s book and in GotGINO.  Starstalker was recently written as a cowardly idiot.  Spaceknights have been written as buffoons.  Cosmo has been written completely out of character every time he has appeared.  And don’t get me started on the wreck Bendis has made of the GotG team.  Simple question.  Why?  And don’t tell me, ‘Stop thinking, start buying,’ if you want me to pay for those shakes.

Brevoort:  Look.  We understand how to sell comic books.  You don’t.  The zombies aren’t all that imaginative.  They have to have someone who’s relatable – you know, like a Norse God, a Billionaire Inventor, a World War II Soldier, a Canadian Guy with a metal skeleton and claws, a smart-ass mercenary who can’t be killed, a human with the powers of a spider, or a guy who turns into a giant green monster when he gets mad.  Anybody could relate to them, right?  But these space characters – now they are just weird!  Totally un-relatable in comparison!  I mean, who could relate to a weirdo like Star-Lord?  Now – a female version of Thor – that I can relate to in an instant.  Who couldn’t?  And why would anybody care about anything happening outside the surface of the Earth anyway?  We had to dumb down and camp up those weirdo cosmic characters – and also contrive some reason for them to be obsessed with Earth in order to get the zombies interested.  In the case of Sam, Loeb just wanted to create a character with a readymade fan base – and we didn’t think there were enough of you Rider fans to make much of a fuss if we replaced Rider.  In fact, we didn’t think you’d even notice and that you’d buy it anyway.  [motions to the approaching McD employee holding 2 shakes]  Now how about those shakes.

TL:  [hands the McD employee a credit card]  I think you’re under-estimating the intelligence of your readers.

Brevoort:  [belly laughs, spurting a mouthful of shake onto the table]  That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard all week!

TL:  The art used to be the best part of the cosmic books.  Lately, it’s taken a turn for the worse.  NINO #20’s art was cartoonish.

Brevoort:  We have a saying.  Why pay for good art when the zombies will buy anything – and then take to the forums and insist the bad art is good!  [laughs, shakes his head]  Gotta love those zombies.

TL:  I must say that I’m feeling more discouraged about the future of cosmic than I did when I walked in the door.  In closing, can you give me any hope for a better future?

Brevoort:  Absolutely!  I have a better future planned beginning tonight!

TL:  Really?  Can you talk about it?

Brevoort:  Of course!  It’s ‘all you can eat steak night’ at The Golden Corral!  The future is looking pretty good to me right about now.  Care to join me tonight to finish this interview?  You pick up the tab, of course.

TL:  No, thanks.  I think we’ve just about covered everything we need to cover.

Note:  This continues the series of satirical/parody reviews of Marvel’s so-called Cosmic books.

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Movie News Reviews

Review: Sin City: A Dame To Kill For

Black and White and Red All Over

A Motion Comic … er, Film Review of Sin City: A Dame to Kill For

 

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The sort of, but not really sequel to Sin City (2005) has hit the summer of 2014, and I was a bit confused by it all.  Certain characters are still alive and kicking while others remain deceased as per the events that transpired in the first film.  I understand that this franchise is Frank Miller’s neo-noir wet dream where time (I presume) doesn’t have any real meaning, but this isn’t a comic book or a motion comic.  It’s a film adaptation that essentially has no loyalty to its predecessor whatsoever so if the viewer’s only experience in this mythos is the first film, A Dame to Kill For will leave you scratching your head.  But then, co-directors Frank Miller and Robert Rodriguez didn’t intend on even this much thought going into their flick in the first place.  The fact is that this Sin City is yet another protein shake of testosterone and steroids that’s as satisfying to men as it is vomit-inducing to women.  The brand is an exercise in unadulterated, hyper graphic, human behavior where all men are cavemen and all women are whores.  And that’s fine; what with the first amendment and all.  The film would have been made a bit more substantial if it tried to use all that shock value for some kind of commentary, but alas it’s just 2 hours of raw machismo.  Again, that’s totally fine, but when the audience has seen this kind of graphic violence time and time again (and that’s this film’s ONLY Ace up its sleeve), well, the one trick pony gets as old and busted as Mr. Ed.

Frank Miller penned the script for A Dame to Kill For and once again utilizes every character self narrating every passing thought in addition to their dialogue in every scene.  It was an expository VO strategy that wore out quickly in 2005 and is equally tiresome today, not just for the constant droll of incessant speak, but because the audience isn’t allowed to use any imagination to make their own sense of a scene because every scene is always telling them what to think.  As for the story, here’s the abridged version:  I’m a man; therefore I have an insatiable ego that I attempt to feed with violence, dominance, murder and substance abuse.  I’m a woman; therefore I am super sexy and must use my body to get brainless men to do whatever I want for selfish motives.  Yawn.  The dialogue and plot for every sub-story at work in this film is pedestrian.  It is mechanical, it is formulaic and worst of all it is boring.

One fun thing that is happening in this film is the patented Sin City color scheme that features stark contrasts between black and white, with some strategically placed splashes of vibrant color within every frame.  It’s a visual aesthetic that requires an army of visual effect artists that are at the top of their games.  Their combined effort along with the make-up, costume and set design departments deliver an impactful experience that clearly channels the comic book/graphic novel format, but of course, in live action.  Sincerely, two thumbs way up for the visual style and presentation of this film.

Nudity!  It’s a significant element of this film, and before I give you the rundown, know that there is 0% full frontal male that makes the final cut as every instance where one would see a penis is conveniently concealed by a perfect placement of shadows that reveals no texture and no line so thoroughly that it’s as if a black hole were placed above the crotch.  With a film as pulpy as this, the audience is bound to be subjected to some amount of it, but I hate to disappoint all those horny boys out there; Jessica Alba’s non-nudity clause in all of her film contracts is still going strong.  Sure, that’s really weird for a character in a film as R-rated as this that happens to be a stripper, yet shows the least skin, but whatever.  In Miller and Rodriguez we trust, right?  Character actress Juno Temple goes topless for a scene with Ray Liotta which will turn some heads and get the attention of directors and producers for future parts because she is quite lovely, but is not called upon to discard all her apparel, and the scene is shot from a wide perspective, so this one instance in the buff could easily qualify as “tasteful.”  Of course, all this pales in comparison to the frequent display of an exquisite example of the female form in all its glory by one Ms. Eva Green, a woman who has said Hollywood only sees her as a femme fatale and naturally plays exactly that in this film.  Green appears to be a woman born to be placed in front of a camera and is as confidant an actress with or without a stitch of clothes on her.  Let’s just say there’s nothing left to the imagination regarding Eva Green in Sin City

The action in this film is as dynamic as a transition between cells in a comic book.  Again, this was a conscious choice for this production, but it doesn’t translate well to 34 FPS.  I found the “kung fu” displayed by Jamie Chung as Miho to be laughable especially when she’s shooting her bow.  The gunplay was average and fisticuffs featured a lot of cutaways to shadows.  Even the scenes featuring characters driving in this movie seemed flat and lifeless.  The true “eye candy” of this film is entirely composed of the previous two paragraphs of this review.

I feel torn concerning the performances of this film because every actor is called upon to behave like an over the top, cartoon character and everyone does an exceptional job in doing so.  Sure, every character is edgy, dark, disturbed and raw, but they’re cartoons nonetheless.  As such, not many of the actors leave a lasting impression as Bruce Willis walks around a few times, Mickey Rourke punches and growls, Josh Brolin looks really angry all the time, Rosario Dawson is lucky to be there and Jessica Alba dances really well.  On the other hand, Powers Boothe (what a stage name) plays an exceptionally nefarious villain in Senator Roark, Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays the one character worth generating any sympathy for as Johnny and Eva Green is no woman to trifle with as Ava the “Dame to Kill For” whom everyone can’t stop loving to hate.

The circumstances aren’t laid out too well for this Sin City “sequel.”  A hard R plus mild entertainment value by themselves suggest a weak take even from the global box office, but when factoring in the stereotypically male branding of this franchise, not too many girlfriends would tolerate being dragged to this one.  The storytelling at work in this film may be graphic, but it’s far too nonchalant to generate any suspense, intensity, or even intrigue outside of the brief window of the present moment.  Yeah I get it; (Ba)Sin City is really messed up, populated and run by messed up people.  My question is, “And then what?”  I can appreciate looking at beautiful women as much as the next guy, but a movie must do more than look pretty to get my endorsement.  This is a must-see strictly for those hot for Eva Green.

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Comic Book News Marvel

Review: NINO Nova Special #1

I keep thinking NINO (Nova In Name Only) can’t get any worse.  And then, NINO defies my expectations and hits a new low point.  The NINO “Special” may “specially” occupy the space of worst NINO story to date.

There is not one saving grace in this issue.  The art is horrible – amateurishly cartoonish.   The coloring is horrible – dull, flat, and washed-out.  The writing is insultingly bad – worse than Loeb, Wells, and Duggan combined if you can believe it!

Marvel just can’t stop themselves from destroying everything DnA did to bring quality to cosmic storylines.  This time out, they take Monark Starstalker and turn him into a mewling, pathetic little wuss who screws up and has to ask for help from NINO.  Really?  NINO?  Asking for help from NINO?  Loeb’s idiot brainchild?  Why would anyone ask for help from NINO?  Especially a clever and tough android like Starstalker.  And then NINO does very little to help.  He pretty much just stands around and talks about why he can’t help.  And he’s ineffectual in the brief fight.  Pathetic.

To top it off, it really isn’t even a cosmic or NINO story – it’s an X-Men and Iron Man story.  So, once again, the cosmic characters are sent to the back of the bus, and the superhero headliner characters take over the book.  

This issue is proof positive of what I’ve been saying all along about NINO.  If you keep buying it – all you’ll get is more NINO, and it will just get worse.  

Please save your $4.99 and leave this trash on the shelf.  Marvel needs to be punished for this one. In fact, Marvel needs to be punished for producing NINO at all.  For those of you still buying NINO, and therefore shoveling more dirt on Rider’s grave, join the rest of us in the boycott.  Remove NINO from your pull list, cancel you digital subscription to NINO, boycott the Ultimate Spiderman cartoon and erase it from your DVR’s record list, remove New Warriors from your pull list or digital subscription, and above all – buy no NINO merchandise.  A few thousand less in sales and we can be rid of NINO forever.  

Nix NINO!

Long live Rich Rider!

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Movie News Reviews

Movie Review: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)

No Ninja, No Ninja, No!

 

A Film Review of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)

 

 

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Make no mistake, fans of true “Turtle Power,” even though Michael Bay was merely the producer for this particular film adaptation, his imprint is all over this celluloid like crazy is on Casey Jones.  As such, the viewer should expect a familiar bevy of calling cards such as plot holes, close-up action, hand-held camera work, blurry combat and Megan Fox. Those who grew up with TMNT are adults now and may be disappointed in this reboot because it reworks the origin story, significantly alters the size and look of the turtles, does the same for the Shredder and turns the foot clan into a gang of Call of Duty terrorists with ski masks.  But this film was not made for us.  It was strictly made for our children, or rather, children under 10 who have mild to severe cases of ADHD.  Despite the PG-13 rating, even teenagers would look at this film and regard it as too childish for even them and tossing in a few “adult words” here and there doesn’t (ahem) transform its juvenile nature.

The only entertainment value of this film was watching all these pint-sized-Turtle-wannabes in the theatre performing air jiujutsu on their friends, brothers and sisters before and after the movie played.  The rapid fire pace of this film and complete disregard for character development to accommodate fart jokes drew the kiddies in, and I’m happy they enjoyed it.  Parents, however, won’t even be allowed to fall asleep to this eye-rolling affair due to their child bouncing around in their seat and/or pestering them to buy Turtle action figures after the movie and/or telling you about all the characters from the TV show and/or yelling back at the movie screen to participate with the dialogue thanks to the sugar high of popcorn and Mountain Dew.  Parents, you have been forewarned.  No rational person would disapprove of bringing ear plugs and a sleep mask to this one.

For those of you willing to face the fire of mediocrity head on, get ready for a story that makes the original live action film of 1990 look like Gone with the Wind in comparison.  One of the things that make TMNT unique as a brand has more to do with the “T” than the “MNT.”  The teenage segment of growth continues to be a delicate and volatile time of uncertainty and empowerment in any young person’s life.  The Turtles have always displayed growing pains in every previous depiction of their fiction as well as the concept of family being a stabilizing influence.  This movie features none of that.  Why?  Well, the short answer is “Michael Bay,” but a more thoughtful one is the fact that this film is dedicated to showing off these giant, ninja, mutants performing feats of physical impossibility with the kind of proficiency that only the best CG animators can fabricate.  

Another thing that’s missing in this film is any semblance of character development.  There are no campfire scenes that reestablish the Turtles’ relationships to each other: no “Ralph annoying Leo” moments, no “Donny educating Mikey” pauses.  There is literally one scene of Splinter being a sensei and another moment (the best in the entire film) in an elevator demonstrating brotherhood.  Every other segment of dialogue is either too subtle where only fans would appreciate or is generic and derivative to simply move the plot along.  Screenwriters Josh Appelbaum, Andre Nemec and Evan Daugherty presume a healthy familiarity with this franchise from the audience in order to free up as much screen time for action sequences.  This is a shame because these Turtles are very different from the original animated series, the original live action films and the original comic books.  I don’t have much tolerance for reboots in general, but even less for a reboot that can’t be bothered with putting any time into actually identifying what makes this new version of an established fiction different from the rest.  I didn’t even care that the origin story was retooled for the sake of convenience, but at least take a time out from sliding down giant snow mountains (during the first week of spring?) to make any of it matter.

As I’ve said before, the action is prevalent in this film.  But how pretty is that action?  Well, it’s Transformers pretty which means that the frame rate and camera angles reveal enough to communicate the general idea of the action, but slams the door shut on detail.  Once again, Michael Bay’s influence over director Jonathan Liebesman (Wrath of the Titans [2012] Battle: LA [2011]) is apparent.  90% of the action featured in this film is CG, green screen, wizardry which may or may not bother some in the audience due to its seizure-inducing pace, but the fact is that intense action from CG characters doesn’t HAVE to be displayed in that manner.  Sure, quick cuts to and from obscure angles and a shaky frame are classic filmmaking tricks to up the emotional intensity of a scene, but where’s the payoff when nobody realizes what exactly happened just then?  I guess the audience can thank Liebsman’s or Bay’s use of slow motion to hammer home isolated “cool” moments like the Turtles being bullet proof.  (The Turtles are bullet proof?!?)  Long story short is if you’ve seen any of Bay’s Transformer films, all the action in TMNT (2014) will look the same.  Also, there’s no real karate being shown throughout.

The digital redesigns for every CG character in this film from previous interpretations of any medium is a significant point of criticism for this film.  The aesthetics of the look are immaterial if the design serves the story or characters in a direct way.  All the Turtles are mammoth, ugly and look more like Orcs from World of Warcraft than actual turtles of any variety (mutated or otherwise).  Making them look uglier helps in emphasizing the “mutant” angle which plays into their separation from human society which they adore, but their scale doesn’t make much sense if they were trained as ninjas and not meant to be seen in a combat situation.  The only environment where the Turtles would be less conspicuous above ground would be at a WWE event.  Splinter’s redesign was clearly going for a more stereotypical Fu Man Chu appeal that isn’t as old and weathered as he’s usually depicted.  His stature scaled up with his Turtle sons which led to some fairly satisfying combat moments showing off his rat-kung-fu as a force to be reckoned with.  Shredder is now apparently Iron Man, but instead of guns, he’s got blades.  I felt this was the worst of all the digital redesigns.  I fully understand they had to build this menacing exo-suit to match up with the enlarged stature of the Turtles, but the sheer number of blades this suit could produce was just Looney Tunes comical.  

Other than the aforementioned “elevator scene” there isn’t one single performance from any CG character in this film that is noteworthy.  They are all as plastic as every scene featuring Mannequin Skywalker from the Star Wars prequels.  One significant reason for this is that the Turtles rarely share any dialogue scenes with live actors in the same frame.  These moments are always displayed with matching shots of high and low angles to differentiate the perspective of ogre Turtles and regular humans.  This makes it difficult for the audience to identify with any of the Turtles as inpiduals and the fact that they have no pertinent interaction with each other doesn’t help things either.  

Human performances were equally irrelevant and apparently mailed-in.  What the hell is Whoopi Goldberg doing in this picture?  Oh I know; it’s a paycheck film.  Can you believe she actually won an Academy Award for Ghost (1991)?  Well you won’t after seeing her contributions here.  Will Arnett plays Vernon, a camera man for the news who seems to have a penchant for behaving like Will Arnett, which is convenient because the casting director happened to cast that actor in this role; and nobody cares.  My boy William Fichtner (Eric Sacs) from Cheektowaga represents WNY well with a tenured career as an excellent character actor in Hollywood, but this film is not a bullet point on his resume.  If you ever needed confirmation that Megan Fox is the worst actress on the planet, watch this movie.  I really can’t say much more other than her performance was an awkward train wreck; as per usual.

TMNT (2014) is an unquestioned pass.  See it if someone else is treating.  See it if a theatre is giving free showings because it’s going out of business.  See it on demand two months from now because it’s that awful, will be pulled from theatres soon and will be on retail shelves in time for Christmas.  But don’t pay real money from your wallet for this nonsense.  If you have a Ninja Turtle fever, then the only prescription is watching the original 1990 film or the original animated series.

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Comic Book News

Review: Guardians of the Galaxy #17 (Bendis)

Writer, BMB, graciously consented to an interview with this independent reporter.  He was met in his Soho apartment where he was found relaxing in a beanbag chair, smoking Kretek via hookah, and sipping a Dr. Pepper slushie apparently acquired from a local Taco Bell.

TL:   I must say that I’m surprised you granted me an interview given my critiques of your work.

BMB:  [offers TL a hit from the hookah] Peace pipe dude.

TL:   No thanks.  Allergic to cloves.  But I do appreciate the gesture.  

BMB:  [Winks and makes the shooter gesture]  No prob.

TL:  You know, I just finished reading GotG #17 and I have to say that I just don’t resonate with the change in the tone of this series since you took over from DnA.

BMB:  [takes a hit from the hookah and a sip of slushie]  D-n-A, Shcmee-n-A.

TL:  Excuse me?

BMB:  Look.  You cosmic fans clearly don’t understand the business of comic books.  Brevoort has told you that over-and-over.  Here’s the skinny.  We just want to sell as many books as we can as fast as we can.  Period.  None of us Architects much cared about cosmic in the past, so we let DnA play by themselves, and they sold a few books.  Nothing like the sales of one of our headliners like, say, Avengers or X-Men – but enough to keep a book going for a while.  Small potatoes – you know.

TL:  And then their material was used as the basis for a major motion picture that was expected to be a big hit.

BMB:  [sips the slushie]  Right.  So us Architects decided we better get on board and ride that tidal wave of cash [mimes water skiing actions] coming from the movie hype.  So, Schmee-n-A had to go.  Like I said – small potatoes.  And it paid off, didn’t it?  The movie hype sent sales of the book up, and I got a payday.

TL:  Sure – but that doesn’t explain the change in tone.  Why un-necessarily deviate so far from the source material?  I mean – your portrayal is not even that close to the movie portrayal – so what’s the point?  For instance, in #17, Star-Lord gets rescued by an Avenger, is inexplicably worried that the Avengers will be mad at him, processes his daddy issues once again, and once again accomplishes very little in the big scheme of things.  This is very different from past continuity when the Guardians didn’t take marching orders from Earth, weren’t overly concerned with Earth, and single-handedly dealt with the big issues.

BMB:  [takes a hit from the hookah]  Continuity, schmontinuity.  Too much is made of continuity among you fans.  Sales is what’s important.  Sales.  Get it?  If I throw in as many Avengers as possible, write the book like these third-rate space jamokes are B-team Avengers, and ride that wave of cash from the movie hype (again mimes water skiing actions) – we all get another big payday.  

It’s simple really – I just make up a few new curse words for Rocket and try to find him a catchphrase every issue.  “Glarkgin” is the new curse word this issue.  Brilliant, huh?  He says it about 9 times over 4 panels.  I thought of that one when I put some gin in my Dr. Pepper slushie while I was eating a Clark bar.  Mouthful of gin and Clark bar at the same time equals Clarkgin, right?  Then you just science-fiction it up by changing a letter and you get Glarkgin.  If I can find a made-up curse word or a catchphrase that catches on; it’s gonna be all over t-shirts and bumper stickers – and there’s another payday.  The rest is just a few contrived fights and a bunch of meaningless conversations about little issues.  Gotta save the big issues for Avengers and X-Men, you know.

TL:  Yeah.  That’s what I thought you’d say.

BMB:  [Takes hits from the hookah, blows smoke rings, stares into space]

TL:  The editing has been lackluster on this book from the start, but with a few notable exceptions; the art has been pretty good.  Until this issue, that is.  The art was pretty bad this time out.

BMB:  Art, schmart.  Who cares about the art?  We’ll sell thousands if for no other reason than the movie.  Marvel Zombies are brand loyalists.  They’ll buy anything with the brand on it – regardless of art, regardless of writing.  Quality, shmality.   Why pay for good art, when the zombies will buy it anyway? It’s all about sales, baby! 

TL:  Well – at least we agree on the brand loyal thing.  What about the editing?  I noticed quite a few grammatical errors – and you even spelled Rich Rider’s name wrong at the end.

BMB:   Editing, schmediting.

TL:  How did I know you’d say that?  Seriously – Rider is spelled with an “i” and not a “y.”

BMB:   [grins and sips the slushie]  So I spelled Dick Rider’s name wrong.  So what?  He’s history.  Loeb’s version is where it’s at, baby!  Cha-ching!  You know?  Out with the old and in with the new.  We’ve been busy shoehorning Loeb’s version into everything we possibly can.  Hey – Loeb’s gotta eat too, ya know?  Can’t have Dickie-boy around stealing attention away from Loeb’s version, right?  Just wait till you see the number I do on old Dickie-boy next issue!

TL:  And here I was going to apologize for calling you Minister of Hackery for the A-Holes.  No apology will be forthcoming now.

BMB:  [laughs]  Yeah – we all got a laugh about that in the bullpen.  The A-Holes, huh?  Funny.  After next issue, you’ll have to promote me to King of the A-Holes and demote Brevoort to Cardinal of Douche-Baggery.

TL: [winks, makes the shooter gesture]  No prob.  Is there anything else you’d like to say to the Cosmic fans before we close?

BMB:  Well, I don’t normally concern myself with small, vocal minorities like the cosmic fans.  That is, other than to just call them small, vocal minorities anytime anybody asks about why they’re so upset with how Loeb and I have treated them.  Especially since there is no more “Marvel Cosmic.”  I mean – cosmic, shmosmic.  It’s all about the Marvel Universe, baby!  And by Marvel Universe I mean Earth.  Well, just New York City, really.  And maybe a few of the boroughs around NYC.  I mean, come on – we sell Earthcentric superheroic fantasy stories.  Who needs cosmic anyway?  Cosmic is just about giving some funny-looking characters some goofy things to do in space and making up a few new words along the way, right?  As long as we make it read like Avengers and somehow tie it to NYC, we’re golden, right? Don’t believe me?  Just ask Loeb.

(Editor’s note: This continues our series of satirical parody reviews)

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Movie News Reviews

Movie Review: Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

Beyond Infinity

A Film Review of Guardians of the Galaxy

By Lawrence Napoli

 

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Wow!  There’s no doubt there were several concerns that hovered about this production which easily made it the biggest risk out of all the Marvel Studio, unified cinematic universe, films.  No one knows who these “Guardians” are.  Marvel heroes are more Earthbound as opposed to space.  How is the obscure James Gunn getting a production budget of $170 million dollars?  Can Chris Pratt of Parks and Recreation anchor an action/adventure/sci-fi blockbuster?  Rest easy, true believers.  All concerns, all questions, all doubts and all hesitations are quickly and emphatically put to rest in the final cut of Guardians of the Galaxy.  Even if you, the viewer, know absolutely nothing about these people, even if you are not easily moved by superhero movies, even if you have only fringe interest in the Avenger films, there is plenty of action, eye candy, effects and comedy to entertain even the driest humbug on a hot summer day.  This movie is great fun for everyone of every age, so much so, that it has supplanted The Winter Soldier as this film reviewer’s favorite movie of the summer of 2014.

The story of Guardians, penned by director James Gunn and Nicole Perlman, describes a gathering of some loveable losers from all over the galaxy, but is framed within the personal journey of Star Lord aka Peter Quill aka Chris Pratt from the time he was taken from Planet Earth.  Quill along with Rocket, Groot, Gamora and Drax are a collection of thieves, mercs, soldiers and thugs that are given the charming rogue treatment as each is afforded plenty of screen time to demonstrate their personal eccentricities, but also time to develop chemistry within the group; to bounce their very different personalities and agendas off each other in quite comedic fashion.  This method of character development flows well with what amounts to a healthy dose of exposition that catches the audience up on what is happening in the Marvel Universe outside of Earth’s orbit.  This may even seem a bit familiar to you, and it should, because it’s the same kind of group dynamic that was showcased in The Avengers and last I heard that film did pretty well for itself.  The hook that gets the primary conflict rolling is the only direct link to the Avenger films and it centers on the pursuit of an “infinity item” and that means Thanos (more on him later).  Finally, the audience is given an onscreen explanation of what these things are, what they can do and what it could possibly mean as provided by The Collector aka Benicio Del Toro.  The rest of the story is a rather heart-warming journey of redemption, family and sacrifice, but what makes it interesting throughout is the fact that it never gets too serious or too dark thanks to the interplay within the group.  The X-Men should have given the Guardians a call for tips on how to make a team-based, superhero film actually fun.

The film trailers that preceded the release of this movie were very clear about establishing Guardians as an action film and thankfully, Gunn backs up that promise with lots of hand to hand combat, gunplay, space flight, explosions and all other kinds of mischief and mayhem.  Now, I won’t go as far as describing the action here as tactically proficient or as ferociously intense as The Winter Soldier, but the destruction that is left as a result of the combat action is performed, captured and framed with confidence which allows the audience to appreciate all of the activity.  There may be a couple of scenes towards the middle of the film where some first person perspective space flight may move the frame at a blurring speed, but these scenes are isolated as wide shots are heavily favored for most of the action.  Of course, the visual stimulation does not end at the movement within the frame as the digital fabrication of seemingly every location within this other-worldly adventure produces some of the most beautifully creative environments modern day sci-fi has been able to produce.  I was a personal fan of the contrast between the majestic cleanliness of Xandar and the back alley, trading-post appeal of Knowhere.  I also need to give an additional thumbs-up to the team in charge of digitally creating Rocket and Groot as entities that may not have had physical mass in reality, but their presence within the frame is seamlessly interwoven and indistinguishable from the live actors.  Close-ups of Rocket and Groot reveal the level of detail given to both.  One can practically count every hair protruding from Rocket’s face.  One is almost moved to tears when Groot’s eyes well up.  Oh yes, this production team used every single dollar of that (once again) $170 million dollar budget in every single frame that exudes sharpness, excellence and the best of what Hollywood magic can create.

Performances can be easily lost in a film that layers itself within the infinite folds of visual effects, but seeing how the concept of “character” was a plus for this movie, one cannot have it without solid acting.  The voice-over work by Bradley Cooper as Rocket was something that I wasn’t necessarily expecting.  I was expecting something very stylized, perhaps digitally filtered and fueled by high doses of caffeine to present a talking Raccoon with an attitude.  Cooper’s Rocket is nothing like that.  Cooper definitely alters his voice from his normal speak, but vocally presents Rocket as matter-of-fact, casual style which allows a wider birth for emotional shifting to anger and sadness when the moment calls for it.  Vin Diesel isn’t exactly tasked with moving mountains by repeating the one sentence his character is capable of speaking, but he gives enough emotion in each instance to communicate to the audience that the walking tree is saying more than just “I am Groot.”  Personally, I don’t know why an actor of Diesel’s visibility was cast for Groot, but perhaps James Gunn was a big fan of The Iron Giant (1999). 

Zoe Saldana’s Gamora is rigid, disciplined, and focused … and basically the same kind of female action hero she is used to playing in the majority of her past roles.  She is meant to be Star Lord’s love interest late in the film, but I wasn’t sold on the chemistry between their characters.  Dave Bautista’s Drax (the Destroyer) may be interpreted by the casual audience member as just another pro wrestler struggling to make it as a proper actor in his first, truly featured role, but I saw more than that.  So he isn’t exactly Laurence Olivier, but Bautista’s performance is sincere and one can tell he is trying to match the comedic timing of his costars in dialogue sequences.  As long as Bautista remains genuine in his commitment to Marvel Studios, I’m sure he’ll be able to smooth out his mechanical delivery as well as maintaining the physicality his character demands.  Michael Rooker’s Yondu was an interesting performance in that his character certainly was compelling, but made more so in that Yondu seemed very much like Meryl Dixon from The Walking Dead without the graphic racism and with blue makeup.  I have no idea if Yondu in the comics is anything like that, but if you are a fan of Meryl’s, you’ll love Yondu.

The rest of the cast is rounded out by bigger names than the performances they produced.  Lee Pace provides a prototypical bad guy in Ronan the Accuser.  Dijmon Hounsou’s Korath is a forgettable, cookie-cutter underling of Ronan’s.  Laura Haddock (you’ll remember her as Da Vinci’s Demons’ Lucrezia Donati) stuns the audience early in the film with a brief, but gut-wrenching scene as Star Lord’s mother.  John C. Reilly’s “regular Joe” Nova Corps soldier literally has 3 scenes in the film, yet retains his patented JCR charm in all.  Glenn Close’s Nova Prime is a throwaway.  Benicio Del Toro’s Collector is an afterthought, which is odd seeing how it seemed his character would be more prominent thanks to his appearance in Thor: The Dark World

And then there’s Chris Pratt as Star Lord.  Yeah he was ok.  I’m kidding.  Pratt does a great job at combining his naturally comedic demeanor with an irreverent character that’s half hero, half rogue, but all heart.  His character is a child of the 80s (literally) as Quill’s love of the popular songs of that era sets the tone (again, literally) for most of the scenes that play out in this film.  Peter Quill/Star Lord is a character that probably shouldn’t even be present in this kind of story, yet somehow manages to hold his own thanks to a balanced application of technology, absurdity, firepower and cunning.  The key to Pratt’s charisma is his comedy, but the laughs never become bigger than individual moments during the film that could distract the audience from seeing his character less as a hero and leader and more like a clown.  He’s just a simple human trying to make his way in a galaxy of powerhouses, who’s able to keep stride because he’s got his shit together much more than his cavalier attitude presents.

Guardians of the Galaxy was the most fun I’ve had at the movies all summer long and my recommendation is for anyone who likes fun to go see this in any format they can get tickets for at your earliest convenience.  The connections this movie has to the Avenger films may be brief, but they are extremely important.  The main characters may be considered rip-offs of proper Avengers: (Star Lord = Iron Man, Groot = Hulk, Drax = Thor, Gamora = Black Widow, Rocket = some weird amalgam of Captain America and Hawkeye???), but that’s ok and really only noticeable to the most rabid fans.  This movie doesn’t take itself as seriously as The Winter Soldier, but that isn’t a bad thing because it maintains a sense of levity despite the gravity of the danger which produces fun at every turn.  The audience applauded the end of this film and I don’t know about you, but this doesn’t happen too often at the theatre anymore.  The last time it did was for The Avengers and the time before that was Avatar, so that’s not bad company for the humble Guardians of the Galaxy to share company with. 

Now I will launch into a breakdown of the appearance of the mad titan, Thanos.

Spoilers follow.  This is your warning to stop scrolling now.

Here we go.

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We finally get to see more of Marvel’s marquee super villain as he rests in the sanctuary he holds in the middle of nowhere-sville, space. 

The first thing I noticed instantly was that the character has been visually redesigned from his brief appearance at the end of The Avengers.  His skin is less purple and pinker, his chin folds are far less pronounced and it seems like his costume is comprised of full plate, golden armor.  Personally, I felt Thanos’ look from The Avengers was a perfect representation from the comics short of his eyeballs actually being visible, but I can understand some alterations are necessary when transitioning from a live actor (in Avengers) to purely digital (in Guardians).  The titan’s shade of purple skin must be restored at some point; I didn’t like the pink at all.  I’ll give his chin alteration a pass.  His golden armor seems a bit TOO gold and that was displayed with very low key lighting in the scene.  Perhaps this is Kevin Feige’s ironic take on the character seeing how Thanos is a depraved nihilist obsessed with the concept AND personification of Death, but if he is to maintain this look in his future appearances it might become too sparkly on the screen when Thanos demonstrates the extent of his powers and abilities. 

I’m on the fence regarding Thanos’ visual redesign.  It isn’t terrible, but isn’t noteworthy.  I suspect further alterations for his future appearances.

Then we heard Thanos speak … and … I was less than enthralled.  I noticed a familiarity in the voice as it wasn’t nearly as bass as James Earl Jones’ Darth Vader or as ominous as Orson Wells’ Unicron.  It was Josh Brolin’s voice.  Josh Brolin?  How was that decision made?  Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t mind his performance, but I wasn’t intimidated in the least by it and if there’s anything Thanos needs to do – it’s to intimidate.  For a character this important to the unified, cinematic universe, I would have figured Marvel to tap Mickey Mouse for a few extra bucks for someone a bit more capable in the VO profession.  Who wouldn’t like to see Mark Hamil come up with something for Thanos? 

Perhaps some digital filtering can help Brolin add some menacing undertones to what amounted as casual speak from Thanos in his one scene from Guardians, but once again, this was another element of Thanos’ appearance that I was not impressed by.

I felt that Thanos was animated perfectly for his one scene.  That may seem like a loaded statement because all he really did was posture himself on his throne while remaining seated throughout.  BUT, that is the character.  An epicenter villain doesn’t pace about, shake fists or haphazardly break things.  All of those activities demonstrate weakness.  Like his counter-part in the DC universe (Darkseid), Thanos’ presence is all that is required to dominate a scene.

(Incidentally, I find it interesting how Darkseid’s standing posture is always of him with his arms folded behind his back, while Thanos is usually depicted with his arms folded across his chest – oh boy, that would be one hell of a stare down contest!)

The point is that a character like Thanos moves only when it is absolutely necessary and very little is to a being as powerful as him (but, he sure would acquire those infinity gems faster if he took a more direct approach).  Even when Ronan betrays Thanos, his non-reaction is typical as there never seems to be any doubt in his mind that he will get what he wants, despite the circumstances. 

All in all, it was nice to see Thanos be confirmed onscreen as the man behind the curtain, but it was bittersweet at best.  Back to the drawing board for the mad titan!

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Movie News Reviews

Review: Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes (2014)

Apes with Attitude

A Film Review of Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

By Lawrence Napoli

 

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One of the reasons why I never became a fanboy of this particular mythos is because it was an inescapably depressing and ugly reflection on just about everything humanity has defined as “contemporary society.”  PotA as a brand, doesn’t pull punches, doesn’t sugar coat with hope and unabashedly puts the blame on you, me and every other human being for the fall of mankind.  Matt Reeves’ Dawn of the Planet of the Apes not only advances the dynamic origins of Rise of the Planet of the Apes, but maintains that unique blend of hopelessness and intimate storytelling that were born of the original films and television series of the late 60s and 70s.  Of all 2014’s summer blockbusters, Dawn… delivers the most intellectually engaging plot by dialing back a bit on the popcorn and ramping up the dialogue driven drama amongst the key members of the cast.  The audience is spared witnessing the global plague of the Simian Flu and catapulted into an Earth where only small colonies of humans remain while the society of Caesar’s Apes flourishes.  Once their paths intersect, history seems to repeat, our ideas of evolution are challenged and what “the right thing” means to society and the individual is examined under a microscope.

I only had a slight apprehension regarding this film for two reasons.  First, despite James Franco not being one of my favorite Hollywood types, he did a fantastic job in Rise … and his character is not in this sequel.  Second, there’s a change at director, and sometimes that doesn’t affect the quality of the film (see the multiple directors of the Harry Potter films) and sometimes it sinks the franchise (see Joel Schumacher’s adoption of Tim Burton’s Batman).  Thankfully, screenwriters Rick Jaffa and Amanda Silver return to scribe the plot of Dawn … and despite the massive plot jump from where we left of at the end of Rise … this film’s story effectively connects to its predecessor and stands strong on its own so newcomers shouldn’t feel obligated to see the first film, but I highly recommend it.  

Caesar, the unofficial king of Apes in his particular kingdom, is certainly the focal point for the majority of this film which is interesting for a number of reasons.  He is still comprised of computer graphics and he doesn’t speak fluent English with his brethren as sign language is still the dominant form of communication amongst the Apes.  Making this kind of character as important to the plot of any production is simply not done too often even with today’s technology due to the aforementioned communication restraints.  The visual effects combined with the motion capture talents of Andy Serkis presented the most believable fabricated manifestations to date, but it is the gravitas of the dialogue amongst the Apes that enhances the illusion to the point where talking Apes are practically indistinguishable from live actors.  The content of this film’s story works extremely well with the context of the spectacle and social commentary.

Granted, this film is not exactly on the same level as the other summer blockbusters in terms of intense action scenes throughout its runtime, but that doesn’t mean Dawn … degenerates into another snoozer, morality tale.  Most of the ape movement and combat is depicted from wide angles, which allows the visual effect artists to showboat their impressive skill set.  Apes swing through the trees with fluid grace, while lumbering about when walking on the ground on their hind legs.  Ape combat is fairly brutal by featuring hand to hand ferocity, but let’s just says fists and melee weapons are not the limit to the danger they present to each other as well as the surviving human beings.  Of course, humans are no pushovers and while they are as tough as wet toilet paper when facing down an ape face to face, they compensate with superior firepower and explosives which showcases some standard issue ballistics and pyro visual and practical effects.  I’d prefer the bar to be raised for the effects used for gunplay in films that feature it, but seeing how so many resources were dumped into breathing life into fabricated apes, this film gets a pass.  The only catch regarding the action in this film is that it’s not particularly well balanced and the dialogue tends to lull the audience.  Again, the individual needs to realize that this franchise is not about adrenaline and explosions, but there’s enough here to maintain a high entertainment value provided one engages with the plot.

Despite drama being the priority in this film, there aren’t many individual performances that stand out.  Andy Serkis as Caesar once again demonstrates motion capture as a performance art that needs greater recognition from the entertainment industry in general, but before that happens, there needs to be more actors than just him to demonstrate a similar level of excellence.  When Caesar speaks, Serkis produces a voice that is equal parts honorable, dominating, serious and threatening.  As a matter of fact, most of the dramatic moments occurring in this film are between Caesar, his son, his family and the rest of his society.  Jason Clarke’s performance as Malcom represents the best of the live actors in this film.  Yes, his character has the luxury of being the one human to consistently reach out to and interact with Caesar, but his performance in general and his facial expressions in particular sells sincerity and desperation in the exact ways they were meant to reflect the composure of his own colony.  Gary Oldman, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to have enough screen time for the audience to truly define him as either a protagonist or antagonist which leaves his performance in the neutral role of the placeholder.  This criticism applies to the rest of the human cast because quite simply, this film really isn’t about them and there’s only so much you can do with support status.  

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes takes the pedigree of Rise … and raises the stakes on the drama and danger involved with creating and maintaining a “civilized” society.  This fiction is yet another interesting experiment in the “what if?” scenario where things like decency, safety and general order are determined less by institutions and more by anyone’s ability to manipulate the mob.  “Conjure magic for them and they’ll be distracted.  Take away their freedom and still they’ll roar.” – Gracchus from Gladiator (2000).  If this film inspires yet another sequel (which judging by its global take at the box office, it may) it will be interesting to see Caesar evolve into a more seasoned philosopher-king having shed his naiveté after the events that transpire here.  This movie is the best-rounded cinematic experience of the summer of 2014, but don’t splurge on IMAX or Real 3D tickets to partake.

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Comic Book News Marvel

Nova #19 Review (Duggan)

For those just tuning in, this is the 19th episode of coverage of the Nova hostage crisis.  To update new readers, 19 issues ago, the Nova concepts were taken hostage by a gang of Earthbound terrorists hostile to high quality cosmic storylines, continuity, and characterization.  These terrorists refer to themselves as “The A-Holes,” and their stated goals are to subvert cosmic’s underlying concepts, destroy cosmic’s uniqueness, and reduce cosmic to the generic, Earthbound-mediocrity of most super-hero-oriented comic books. Our UK Correspondent recently summed-up the goals of The A-Holes as: “producing a sterilized, diluted mockery of a once great genre.”

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In new developments, Propaganda Minister for the A-Holes, Garry Duggan, delivers yet another absurdly implausible story disrespectful of Nova continuity and established mythos.  He once again wrongly centers the source of each Corpsman’s powers in their helmets, impossibly subverts the Worldmind’s control over the Nova Force, and ridiculously portrays all Corpsmen as weak and incompetent – except of course, NINO.  He writes Rocket Raccoon out of character as a money-grubbing, trigger-happy, impulsive sociopath.  He continues to write NINO’s mother as an idiot unfit to raise children.  He ret-cons the fate of Robert Rider and the rest of Rich Rider’s Corpsmen (i.e. implies that they were killed in the Cancerverse battle). And of course, he immorally continues to glorify NINO’s status as a child soldier/combatant.  The art/coloring are acceptable but nothing to write home about.

In a coded communication intercepted by the NCSA (National Comics Security Agency), Propaganda Minister Duggan can be heard gleefully reporting to Cliché Minister Brevoort, “Yes sir!  Consistent with your orders, we’ve produced yet another issue that only brain-dead zombies could love.”  In response, Cliché Minister Brevoort can be heard to cackle in laughter saying, “Excellent!  Rather than innovate by creating brand new characters to appeal to children, females and racial minorities, we’ll continue the cowardly and creatively bankrupt policy of hi-jacking the names and powers of established characters and shoehorning new characters with the desired demographics into their roles.  It worked with Nova, Ms. Marvel, Captain Marvel, and Ultimate Spiderman; so why not Captain America, Thor, and Iron Man?   BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!  The brand-loyal zombies will buy anything!”  Schlock Minister Loeb and Hackney Minister Bendis can be heard giggling in the background of this communication.   As usual, Mediocrity Minister Alonso is silent and apparently absent from this meeting.

In an uplifting development, resistance to the A-Holes’ hi-jacking of the Nova concepts continues to grow with NINO’s sales steadily falling.  Resistance fighters have been shown to be immune to the zombie virus and have discovered a cure for the afflicted zombies.  The cure is to starve the problem source, The A-Holes.   Leave NINO and NeWINO (New Warriors In Name Only) on the shelf.

Cancel NINO from your pull list.  Cancel your DVR’s setting to record Ultimate Spiderman.  Buy no NINO merchandise.  Be a star! Join the resistance!  Nix NINO!

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Comic Book News

Review: Guardians of the Galaxy #16 (Bendis)

For those just tuning in, this is the 16th episode of coverage of the Guardians of the Galaxy hostage crisis.  To update new readers, 15 issues ago, the Guardians of the Galaxy were taken hostage by a band of Earthbound terrorists hostile to high quality cosmic storylines, continuity, and characterization.  Referred to as the “MMS” (Marvel Mediocrity Squad) by opposition groups, their stated goals are to subvert cosmic’s underlying concepts, destroy cosmic’s uniqueness, and reduce cosmic to the generic, Earthbound-mediocrity of most super-hero-oriented comic books.

From documents leaked by undisclosed high-level sources, our reporters have learned that the NCSA (National Comic-book Security Agency) has produced a Wanted Poster featuring pictures of the terrorists and the until now secret name by which they refer to themselves when they hold clandestine meetings to plot how they will further subvert cosmic.  “The A-Holes” – as they refer to themselves – are pictured in this poster soon to be released to all comic book fan sites.  These men are considered dangerous to comic book fans as any contact with them may result in a decline in your Intelligence Quotient along with a commensurate reduction from the sterling taste in comic books you may now hold to the basest of pedestrian tastes.  Should you encounter any of these men, the NCSA urges you to stop, point at them, and yell “A-Hole!” to alert everyone else in the vicinity.  Then you should immediately run in the opposite direction.  Under no circumstances should you purchase anything from any of these men.

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New developments in the 16th episode of the hostage crisis look exactly like old developments.  Deus ex machina is used repeatedly; Star-Lord AGAIN (unsuccessfully) tries to process his daddy issues; Avengers are shoe-horned into the storyline at every opportunity; the art/coloring remain the best part of the book; the great powers of the local group of galaxies act like drooling idiots, and the Guardians continue to be reduced to an ineffectual team that doesn’t accomplish much of anything.  Ringleader of the hostage takers, Brian Michael Bendis, seems intent on using the hostages in such a manner as to produce an unbearable ennui among the most ardent of cosmic fans as a means of driving them away from cosmic fandom and accomplishing the stated goals of the A-Holes.

Brave resistance fighters have held the line against the A-Holes for 16 issues now and morale remains high as with each issue more fighters join the ranks of the resistance.  However, the A-Holes are doubling-down on their attacks against quality cosmic and their collaborators in the comics community are acting to make the hostage crisis the new status quo for cosmic.  The ultimate outcome remains in doubt – but never fear.  What is done by the A-Holes can later be un-done by a good and truly talented creative team that actually likes and respects cosmic.  

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Movie News Reviews

Review: Transformers: Age Of Extinction (2014)

A Decent Transformers Movie?  Maybe This is Why Shia Got Himself Arrested Last Thursday

A Film Review of Transformers: Age of Extinction

 

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Michael Bay has a very acute style of filmmaking which has seen financial success and increased visibility with his helming of the Transformer movie adaptations.  Like it or not, his style has delivered predictably reliable profit to the Hollywood machine and the Age of Extinction will more than likely, be no exception.  Explosions, loud noises, oversaturated colors, annoying comic relief, women as mindless sex objects and what seems to be the same exact chord progression in every overture of every single Michael Bay film are rinsed and repeated.  Personally, I haven’t been too keen on these films primarily because they have basically been the same movies with the same bad guys enacting the same plots and woefully misplacing far too much importance on the human characters of every cast.  If nothing has really changed, then why on Earth would I find any improvement now?  The answer begins with the absence of Shia Labeouf’s Sam Witwicky, his ridiculous parents and his cosmically improbable girlfriends.  Bay may have been trading away a numbskull for a meathead in Marky Mark, but at least Wahlberg gives the audience something different to (possibly) roll their eyes at as we patiently await the Transformers to come back on the screen.  In a sea of similarity, ANY difference is a good thing.

Screenwriter Ehren Kruger returns to deliver a story that once again pays mere lip service to a rich Transformer mythos from the comics and animated series in favor of yet another derivative tale of “Transformers are cool pets for humans, oh wait they’re headed right for us, we gotta blow them up, yada, yada yada.”  If any of that sounds familiar, it should because it’s the same plot of the last two Transformer sequels for which Kruger is also responsible for.  Talk about a well oiled machine, despite a retooled cast and Autobots we’ve never seen before, Kruger is able to carbon copy a tried-and-true Transformer tale as if he were simply swapping out defective gears, shafts and valves.  I was perturbed by how Kruger introduces and utilizes the Dinobots.  First, don’t hold your breath folks because they don’t appear until very late in the film.  Second, some of them are dino-remixes of the classic forms fans may be familiar with and third, none of them are referred to by their proper names so if you’re waiting for someone to yell Grimlock, Snarl, Slag, Sludge or Swoop, expect disappointment.  One other thing about the story worth mentioning is a conscious choice regarding the evolution of the most important character of this franchise: Optimus Prime.  The years spent on Earth have yielded constant battle for the Autobot Leader and frustration is not only understandable, it is expected.  However, I have never seen Optimus Prime depicted with such darkness that I started feeling uncomfortable with his new attitude.  I’ve never heard Prime say the word “kill” as often and with such ferocity.

Action, effects and computer graphics are what Transformer films are all about.  They are the reason these films still retain summer blockbuster entertainment value which yields the kinds of dollars these films are made for in the first place.  For the life of me, I still cannot understand why none of the Transformers use energy-based weapons (as opposed to projectiles requiring bullets for instance), but rest easy knowing that there are plenty of ballistics, big guns and missiles riddling the screen at every turn.  I like how the camera doesn’t push in too close during the marquee action sequences, thus allowing the audience to fully appreciate the scale of the destruction.  I also enjoyed the aerial action which naturally features a multitude of dynamic angles, but also strikes a good balance with slow motion effects to maximize satisfaction without abusing it (typically another staple of Michael Bay productions).  Of course, I can’t discuss the eye candy without talking about the giant f’ing robots themselves who, by the way, still look so great that the audience is left wondering why anyone would want to cut away from them for any reason.  Autobot Hound is one of the standouts as his digital render obviously channels the real life human who voices him, John Goodman.  The Dinobots are intimidating in both robot and animal forms as their sizes may not be precisely to scale in reference to Optimus Prime, but they are noticeably larger, which makes sense seeing how they’re robotic dinosaurs.  It’s too bad Devastator was already disposed of in these films because I’d love to see the Dinobots take him on.  Maybe we could see Bruticus in the sequel?

The only real performance that matters in this film and every other live action Transformer adaptation is that of Peter Cullen and his legendary, lifelong, vocal performance of Optimus Prime.  Despite turning 74 this coming July 28th, Cullen’s unique voice retains the chivalrous charm fans of the animated Prime have always enjoyed to the point where we can feel the honor in the air whenever he speaks a word.  Cullen is called upon to produce more anger and aggression for this Prime than any other performance in his career, but the sheer sincerity in his voice continues to produce a transcendent experience.  Mark Wahlberg does another fine job performing as Mark Wahlberg, er … Cade Yeager, a Texas roughneck who struggles to make a living as an independent robotics engineer because in a reality where Transformers are walking the Earth, everyone and their mother is apparently better at building and programming robots than Marky Mark.  (Sigh)  Stanley Tucci does a fine job by filling the role of the charming comic relief, Joshua Joyce, which is most welcome seeing how the idiotic comic relief is thankfully eradicated earlier in the film.  Kelsey Grammer is a fine villain with his performance as Harold Attinger, but this is thanks mostly to his dulcet tones and less for his “physicality.”  Jack Reynor plays the character type Shia Labeouf used to, and Nicola Peltz plays the token sex appeal Megan Fox formerly represented in a movie franchise that’s really supposed to be about giant, transforming robots that happen to be alive.

2014 has not been a particularly effective year for a number of blockbusters to at least meet the hype that pumped them up in the first place.  In terms of raw action, even the Age of Extinction doesn’t come close to the action intensity of Captain America: The Winter Soldier, but even Transformers walking down the street on film is more interesting than a majority of what Hollywood produces, and this is why there appears to be no end in sight for this franchise with or without Michael Bay.  Anyone with the team of digital artists and animators behind the CG magic of making the Transformers real with VO talent like Peter Cullen can make hundreds of millions of dollars leading a Transformer production.  There is a clear lead-in to another sequel, but there’s nothing to suggest that such a film would be a departure from everything we’ve seen thus far, until those pesky humans get cut loose from the plot entirely.  Despite it all, Age of Extinction, though far from a perfect production is entertaining enough for a standard admission.  Don’t even think about shelling out extra for IMAX or Real 3D admission because the 3D conversion is just plain irrelevant – waste of time, waste of money.  Trust me, Wahlberg’s deer-in-the-headlights face is far less annoying than Labeouf’s “no, no, no, no, no!”

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Comic Book News

Review: Thomas Alsop #1 (of 8)

An amalgam of mysticism, exorcism and commercialism, Thomas Alsop is one of those books that people try to label into a category that just won’t fit. Not because it can’t be, but because it is so much more than a label could possibly convey!

Thomas Alsop is a book about media sensation, Thomas Alsop, a modern day warlock that does battle against all manner of demonic beings in Manhattan. He is the “Hand of the Island,” a moniker passed down from generation to generation of Alsop’s in their continued quest against the dark. He is also a drunkard, a self glorified “rock star,” a magician, a reality star and blogger. But these labels can only define the character of Thomas Alsop as much as the aforementioned cataloging of the book itself. As a matter of fact, the first page has Thomas even questioning himself as to who he truly is. He is so multi-faceted that even himself has trouble discerning where the real Thomas Alsop lies amid the facade of media hype.

But this book isn’t all about facades and labels. When Thomas meets his great great grandfather, Richard Alsop, in the dreamscape, the book turns to follow the older Alsop’s story in the year 1702. From there we learn about how the family was cursed/blessed with the the “Hand of the Island” power, an innate ability to to see the supernatural world and its denizens. We also relive the pain and emotional suffering that befell Richard Alsop both before and after his abilities were acquired and how something from the past will descend upon his great great grandson’s future.

Chris Miskiewics does an amazing job of fleshing out this first issue. Within its myriad of ideas, there is a single driving force to have these characters connect with the reader at a base level and it absolutely does! Between the exceptional character development, Richard’s stoic resolve and Thomas’ hubris facade, the magic, the mystery, the underlining feeling of eventual bedlam from demonic forces and the absolutely outstanding artwork by Palle Schmidt that helps solidify the overall vibe of the tale — this book has it all!

People are comparing this book to Hellblazer and Dr.Strange, it may have a few mimicking qualities but it can stand tall all on its own without the comparison. You don’t have to be a fan of either one of those books to enjoy Thomas Alsop, you just have to enjoy a damn good story!

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Comic Book News

Review: Harbinger #24

This is it! After two years of being manipulated and hunted by Toyo Harada, Peter Stanchek and the Renegades lay all the cards on the table and NOTHING will ever be the same again!

Joshua Dysart has been promising major changes to Harbinger with his current “Death of a Renegade” storyline and he has delivered on all accounts! After last issues shocking death of the team’s sexy fire bird, Flamingo, fans have stood slack-jawed for what would come next. Be fair warned, by the stunning conclusion of this issue, every aspect of the Harbinger series will be completely changed!

In a medium that treats death of characters with as little respect or second thought as a used tissue, Joshua Dysart is one of the few writers that takes the time for the emotional weight to register with his characters. Even amidst the chaos of Peter and Toyo’s epic battle, the individual remorse and regret felt by the rest of the Renegades is what drives this issue past the shackles of the normal “grieving issue” and into something astounding. Dysart takes the time for each character to ponder their own actions during the tragic event, brewing up a maelstrom of emotion that is rarely seen in current comics. From guilt and being overwrought with sadness to deflection and levity, Dysart makes each moment feel real and connects his characters to the reader even more so than he has in the past. That connection and depth of character development is what continually makes Harbinger one of the best reads on the market month after month. You owe it to yourself to grab it as soon as you can!

Destruction on a physical and emotional level awaits you this issue. The teacher and the student will war until the very fabric of the Valiant Universe changes and you will be on the ground floor to witness it! After this issue, I have no idea where Peter Stanchek, the Renegades or even Harada will be — but I truly cannot wait to find out!

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Comic Book News Marvel

Review: Nova #18 (Duggan)

Sometimes a reboot of a concept surpasses the original.  That was the case for Nova Volume IV.  Most times, a reboot is inferior to the original.  That is the case with NINO.

The problem is that the major players in the NINO reboot (Alonso, Brevoort, Loeb, Bendis, and now Duggan) never liked, understood, cared about, or bothered to familiarize themselves with cosmic in general or the Nova mythos in particular.  Their past and present motivations appear to be to cash in on the expected surge in interest in cosmic once the Guardians of the Galaxy movie premieres and is the blockbuster everyone expects — and, in the case of NINO, to develop a “Spider-man-ish” character for which they own the movie rights.  Their lack of understanding and regard for cosmic shows in the decline in quality of cosmic under their leadership. Thankfully, the fans have resisted Marvel’s marketing flim-flam about NINO, and this total mess of a comic book is failing – down to 111th in sales – with only 22K still buying.   I can’t wait to see the words, “Final Issue,” smeared across the cover in the near future.  It is way past time for NINO to go away and never be heard tell of again.

The 22K of high-camp, clichéd, teen antic/angst mediocrity lovers still buying NINO will call this the best issue of the series thus far.  I agree – it is the best of the worst – but that’s faint praise.  Bad concept equals dumb story cover-to-cover.  And the lack of regard for Nova mythos is on full display throughout.

Once again, NINO’s mother won’t be winning the “Mother of the Year” award.  She encourages her minor children to play with a weapon of mass destruction and stands idly by while NINO flies off to the edge of the universe to face mortal danger.  Honestly – I fully expect her to start leaving loaded weapons lying around the house.  And in a way she is – since in this silly re-boot of the Nova mythos the powers are stupidly portrayed as emanating from the helmets.  She piles up a heap of discarded helmets from fallen Corpsmen in her basement.  All that power centered right there won’t attract the attention of any villains and expose her family to further danger, will it?  Dumb.

And then the Avengers and Fantastic Four encourage NINO to risk his life fighting Mindless Ones.  Is every adult in the Marvel Universe an irresponsible, blithering idiot?

If I had one major criticism of Volume IV, it would’ve been that DnA portrayed Rich as underpowered.  Just the opposite with NINO.  Duggan portrays NINO as ultra-powered.  No way NINO tosses around Mindless Ones like that.

The end scene is especially egregious.  Remember that above-mentioned lack of regard for Nova mythos?  Jesse is portrayed with a Millennian helmet but wearing a Centurion Uniform (as is the Corpsman he guns down).  And since the Worldmind was presumably active at the time of that apparent crime – there’s no way he would get away with it as it would have been recorded in Worldmind archives.  Once again, the “creators” and “re-booters” borrow the look and general concepts without any understanding or regard for the history and mythos.

Of course, NINO has an existential angsty teen crisis when it looks like dear old dad is just another criminal thug.  And when Iron Man has a chance to be an adult and help – he just makes an off the cuff remark and walks away.  Now that’s heroic, isn’t it?  Sheesh.

NINO ends by saying he’ll never wear the helmet again.  If only that was true.  But it isn’t true and the little idiot will be back because Marvel is desperate to throw him in the face of every reader by making him part of every event and giving him special one-shots.  And Brevoort, with a straight face, is his typical disingenuous self when he says he gave Rich equivalent marketing hype.

It is now rumored that Rich Rider will make an appearance in the post-credit scene of the Guardians of the Galaxy movie.  Think about the resurgence in interest in Thanos after his post-credit scene.  He was brought back from the dead in very short order, wasn’t he?  So, if this rumor is true, it’s our best chance of getting Rich back and active in the Marvel Cosmic Universe.  NINO needs to be gone and forgotten by then – because if he’s still selling, the powers at Marvel will continue with Loeb’s re-boot, and Loeb’s re-boot by Loeb’s own design and admission has no room for Rich Rider.  So – if you’re a true Rich Rider fan, the best thing you can do is leave this NINO trash on the shelf at your local comic shop.  Cancel NINO from your pull list or digital purchase list.  Take Ultimate Spider-Man off the record list of your DVR.  Don’t buy New Warriors (in Name Only) because it headlines NINO.  A small push is all that’s needed to drive sales further down and hopefully eliminate NINO forever. 

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Comic Book News Marvel

Review: Original Sin #4 (of 8 )

Tension continues to mount between the rag tag groups of heroes in Jason Aaron’s fantastic murder mystery that is shocking fans!

In this installment, we are given more clues as to who or what may have killed the Watcher but not enough to truly have a cohesive idea of the murderer’s true identity. Aaron has the reader continually switching between the different teams as they slowly come to realize that they have all been pawns in the grand scheme of things. He boils down each character to their core personalities as they hastily make their way through the tale, making each interaction wholly believable, fun and overtly tense. The quick barb Bucky throws at the Punisher is especially harsh yet, brilliant!

Compared to the last few installments of the book, this issue is structured less on the action and more on the subtle clues and personal nuances between the characters. It builds upon Bucky’s role from last issue but never settles on exactly why he took the actions he did. That is perfectly fine with me because nothing reads better than a Jason Aaron mystery tale where “friends” quickly become bitter enemies and enemies become the key to unlocking the ultimate answer!

Aaron uses this issue to focus on what we have already discovered in the series, taking the time to gently build upon that before unleashing another shocker of an ending! It is a great read that showcases lesser profiled characters and proves you don’t need to be in order to make an amazing tale! This is Marvel’s best “event” book in years!

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Comic Book News Marvel

Review: Original Sins #1 (of 5)

Warning: Spoilers Dead Ahead!

 

Riding on the coattails of the fantastic Original Sin story by Jason Aaron, comes this double tale book that flounders even at the attempt at mediocrity.

The “Mighty Marvel Machine” churns out another failed attempt at making money off of its numerous crossover books, but this time it actually has NOTHING to do with the core book it supposedly spawned from! The first story, I use the term story loosely since it was a mere ten pages!, is all about promoting the new Deathlok series coming in October. The only thing that links this tale even remotely with Original Sin is the fact that a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent was nearby when the Watcher’s eye detonated and he saw the secret of who Deathlok really was. Long story short, again ten pages, Deathlok kills the guy!

The second story is about Young Avengers, Hulkling and Prodigy, going to space to retrieve Marvel Boy so that they can stop Marvel Boy’s ex-girlfriend, Exterminatrix, from fighting the Avengers in New York. On the way back to earth they eat pizza and Hulkling shape shifts into Agent Coulson so they can fly back undetected by S.H.I.E.L.D. After we sit through more corny banter between the three heroes, they are attacked by the Hood in an apartment. Original Sin connection? They show Captain America and Exterminatrix fighting via a Smartphone!

I’m all about cross merchandising your product with “big event” scenarios but, please, make it worth the time and money readers dish out on it. This book does nothing to move along the core story or build upon the secrets that are now floating throughout the Marvel U. It is, at its base level, a book that could not stand on its own as a well crafted tale, or tales, and needed the Original Sin banner just to get published. If Marvel is trying to bring in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.  watchers in the fold of reading comics by drawing them in with a new Deathlok series, then do a one-shot that is 22 pages about that, not a ten page advertisement for the new book poorly linked to a disastrous tale that has nothing to do with it! And even if you are the world’s largest Young Avengers fan, this story does not deserve your attention. From prose to art, it is just a simple book with nothing to offer.

Do not spend $4 dollars on this book, you will regret every penny of it if you do! ’nuff said!

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Comic Book News

Review: The Walking Dead #128

After the shocking time jump last issue, Robert Kirkman lulls us in to a sense of security with a tale that lets readers reconnect with their favorite characters.

This issue is the poster child for “slow burn” storytelling but the manner in which Kirkman tells the tale makes the reader feel comfortable with the fact it isn’t about shock and awe. This is a great “breather” issue in which we get to learn more about Carl, Eugene, Rick, Andrea and the small new cast of characters introduced last issue. Kirkman delves deeper into the inner workings of how Rick’s community works, from bread making to a more precise ammunition crafting process, and we get to see just how far Kirkman’s world has changed. 

The subtleties Kirkman weaves into his characters is what drives this issue. Carl’s new hobby/career choice is something I would have never expected from the hard nosed, lethal weapon he was prior to the time jump but it is something that makes me enjoy his character so much more! Eugene’s relationship, or lack there of, with Rosita is equally as shocking and forces Eugene from a character that I never thought I would care for into one I desperately need to know about. Even the diminutive rant from Neegan brought a well earned smile to my face when I thought I could only like him as an extremely over the top maniac. But that is what Kirkman does! He can shock you with big, overwhelming storylines that make you squirm in your seat but he can also write smaller character pieces that draw you to his characters in a way few books can. 

So, if you are looking for “walkers” just turn to the middle of the book, but if you are looking for something that has a little more meat on it’s bones, start at the beginning and enjoy until the very end!

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Comic Book News

Review: Original Sin #3 (of 8)

Jason Aaron is known for creating some of the best stories on the market today. From Scalped to Thor: God of Thunder, Jason Aaron always brings a sense of awe to his books, something visceral and essential to the characters developing beyond the shackles of their physicality. Original Sin is ramping up to be more of the same style tale Aaron is known for, instead of just another tale of summer super hero mash-ups!

Aaron has his enigmatic teams strewn around the Marvel U. looking for clues, while the Orb unleashes a power that weakens the bonds of friendship all around him. Secrets are revealed to a bevy of characters but not the readers, playing nicely to Marvel’s numerous tie-in issues that are always lying in wait for these crossover events. None the less, friends become foes quite quickly and the questions as to why begin to mount.

This issue will simply blow you away with every panel and by the book’s bloody end, will have you completely shocked! Aaron is pulling no punches with this issue. There are slight reveals as to the identity of the Watcher’s killer, all discreetly embedded within a web of never ending questions, but the sheer brutality of the end sequence is what will have all the fans clamoring with emotion. Aaron laces his tale with plenty of subtle hints and possible red herrings as to whom is truly at the heart of this devious murder spree, and half of the fun is trying to weed out what is fact from fiction. Are there parallels, twins, doppelgangers? Who knows at this point and Deodato’s amazing art doesn’t give us any extra clues about who is TRULY behind it all! 

If you are seeking a book that is full of espionage, quirky team-ups, conspiracy theories, brutal murder and above all else, secrets, than this is the perfect book for you! Aaron is writing a modern classic right before your eyes and the Marvel U. will never be the same again!

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Comic Book News

Review: Guardians of the Galaxy Trailer #15 (Bendis)

This whole idea that The Avengers have to have one or more representatives on the team at all times is just annoying.   What authority do The Avengers have over any other vigilante team – especially one that operates (in theory though not in practice under Bendis) far away from Earth?  So now we have Venom on the team and apparently Captain Ms. Marvel will be joining soon.  Despite the cover, she won’t be joining this issue.  In fact, other than the cover, she makes no appearance – so if you’re buying this issue because of her, you’ll be disappointed.

I’m guessing she’ll be brought in to be the muscle on the team, and she’ll begin by rescuing (eye roll) everyone captured by the great powers of the local group of galaxies.  I suppose she and Venom make more sense on the team than Iron Man – but that’s not saying much.   Under Bendis, the Guardians (in Name Only) are portrayed as weak, and in his hands will always take a back seat to any Avenger.  Never mind that they dealt with Universal threats in the past without the aid of any of Earth’s heroes.  Now, they are so weak and incompetent, they have to be rescued by an Avenger who can’t keep sales on her own book above cancellation threshold.  It’s sad what this title has become under Bendis.

This issue has its problems – but it is one of the better of the worst.  I have a real problem with Rocket begging for his life.  That REALLY annoyed me in a very bad way.  It’s one of the more egregious out of character moments under Bendis’ typical mangling of the better characterizations of the past.  On the other hand, I felt like Drax and Gamora were back in character for a few moments, and the action scenes for Gamora and Star-Lord weren’t bad at all.  Though it’s not clear what Groot’s story actually is at this point – it does have potential if Bendis uses it to tell a good Brood tale.

Venom and his faux (Skrull imposter) Avengers team story was expected and predictable – existing purely to pull more Avenger-zombie dollars into this book.  You could skip right over that part of the story, and the book would read the same.  Bendis is clearly going to use Venom as the gateway character – as if anyone reading this book needs a gateway character.  I predict Venom will be about as annoying on the team as Stark was.  Really Bendis, the “duck out of water” angle isn’t necessary.  We get it that the universe outside of Earth is different.  We don’t need a character within the story constantly underlining that obvious point.

As always, the art and coloring are the best parts of this book.  Bradshaw, Stewart, and Ponsor deliver on all fronts.

A major motion picture based on DnA’s version of Guardians of the Galaxy will be released in three months.  It’s telling that in every interview about the movie, DnA’s version of GotG is mentioned and Bendis’ GotGINO is not mentioned at all – even though Bendis’ GotGINO will be in print at the time of the movie’s release.  The MCU decision-makers seem to be deliberately distancing themselves from Bendis’ super-hero-ing up and dumbing-down of the characters and concepts – and who can blame them?  

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Comic Book News Marvel

Nova #17 Review (Duggan)

In this issue of 1960’s Spiderman Inferiorly Re-packaged………..er……….I mean, NINO, the cover pretty much sums up everything that’s wrong with this book. 

Upon seeing the silly, cutesy, child-oriented cover of this book sitting on the shelf of the local comic shop, I immediately realized it was designed to make adults say, “Awwwwww – how cute – they’re playing dress-up” and without thinking buy this trash for their children.  Now – if they thought about it – what you’ve got depicted is two irresponsible minor children playing with a weapon of mass destruction and irresponsible parents allowing/encouraging them to do just that.  I know – I know – all the zombies will be quick to point out that “it’s not real – just fantasy.”  But is that the message you really want your impressionable children picking up from their “fantasy?”  And if you’re an adult – don’t you have to go to extraordinary effort to ignore the absurdity and suspend disbelief?  Doesn’t that extraordinary effort speak to the quality of the product and render it too puerile for adult consumption?  That’s the first thing that made bile begin to rise into my throat.  

Then I read the content of the word balloon and sneered because it sums up Marvel’s attitude about this book and the Nova concepts.  They refer to the customer as “dummies” (aka  “zombies”) and demand that you buy the book or be deprived of GotGINO (Guardians of the Galaxy In Name Only).  Not much of a threat there for me.  If I owned any of Bendis’ GotGINO, the snaggle-toothed little idiot depicted on the cover would be welcome to come over and rip them up.  I just shook my head and let the nausea subside.  Brevoort has threatened repeatedly that we either buy NINO or there will be no “Nova” at all – and there is a paraphrase of that attitude in print right there on the cover of this book.  Fine.  I’ll take no “Nova” at all over NINO any day.  I’m not so desperate for a book that has “Nova” smeared across the cover that I’ll accept this trash.  But just out of curiosity – I’ve got a few questions for those still buying this crime against the Nova mythos:  Do you enjoy being taken for granted?  Doesn’t it upset you that Marvel is basically saying to you in print what a certain former Marvel Editor says to you on forums (i.e. “Bitch all you want.  I know you’ll still buy every issue”)?  Do you like being called “dummies” for buying an inferior product while they laugh and know you’ll buy it anyway?  Do you like a business trying to sell you something by making fun of you and insulting your intelligence?

I could stop writing now because the cover really does sum up the entire issue and everything that’s wrong with this book.  But – let’s press on anyway.

Once again NINO proves he’s a disgrace to the uniform.  First – NINO brings some radioactive material home and irradiates his neighborhood – endangering everyone’s lives.  Brilliant, responsible, and heroic?  I think not.  Then he’s left babysitting his sister and he falls asleep failing to secure the “magic helmet.”  Whereupon his sister puts it on, gains the powers and blows a hole in the side of the house.  Brilliant, responsible, and heroic?  I think not.  Then he intervenes in an accident and his actions cause someone’s house to catch fire and burn to the ground.  Brilliant, responsible, and heroic?  I think not.  Idiotic, irresponsible, and foolhardy?  I think so.

Further, in a recent interview, Duggan described NINO’s mother as a “soldier’s wife.”  He therefore tacitly acknowledges that Jesse and Sam are indeed “super-powered soldiers” and not classic vigilante “superheroes.”  The zombies are quick to point to New Mutants, Young Avengers, Robin, Teen Titans, etc. as examples of teen vigilante superheroes – using “precedent” as an argument to justify the morality of NINO’s existence as a child soldier.   I would point out that a soldier is not a vigilante.  A soldier is recruited according to set criteria and trained in the art and science of combat.  A soldier reports to and is empowered by a higher authority.  A soldier has a code of conduct, a duty, and a mission to perform – in other words, specified responsibilities.   NINO wears the uniform and carries the powers of a Nova Centurion – a living weapon of mass destruction – the backbone of Xandar’s military.  However, NINO is a 14-year-old child irresponsibly playing at being a soldier as if playing a video game. NINO has none of the training and commitment to duty of a true soldier.  NINO is also repeatedly sent into heavy kill-or-be-killed combat by adults who should know better than to endanger a child.  Xandar was never portrayed as a rogue civilization that used child soldiers like Somalian Pirates or Al Qaida.  Marvel/Disney is sending a bad message to the kiddies at whom this book is presumably aimed.  In a way, they’re glorifying the use of child soldiers in kill-or-be-killed combat.  NINO is not only a disgrace to the uniform, his very existence as a child soldier is immoral.  Before any zombie shouts, “Bucky!” – his existence as a 15-year-old child soldier was immoral, too.  Also – just to preclude the typical zombie arguments in defense of NINO, Rider was 17 (age of military enlistment eligibility in most Western nations) when he got the powers and 18 when he went to war.

Speaking of NINO’s mother – she once again proves that she’s unfit to lead a family.  She allows NINO to skip school – sending a message to the kiddies reading the book that school isn’t important.  Knowing of NINO’s irresponsibility, she leaves him to babysit and he falls asleep and allows his sister to endanger her life and the lives of others by playing with a weapon of mass destruction.  She repeatedly encourages NINO to fly off and endanger his life.  What kind of mother does things like this?  That is, besides the ones who have files with Child Protective Services?  And the Avengers, New Warriors, Beta Ray Bill and others who are age of majority also encourage this?  Is every adult in the Marvel 616 an idiot?  The zombies will again point out that this “isn’t real.”  Yeah zombies – I know that.  And will you admit that it’s so “unreal” that it’s absurdly and intelligence-insultingly stupid?  Is disrespect for school and teachers the message you want sent to children?  Don’t you want your entertainment to talk up to you?  Or has the zombie virus totally taken over your brains?

Face it, NINO represents the Justin Bieber-ization of the Nova concepts by a bunch of out-of-touch, middle-aged Marvel writers/editors who mistakenly think they can capture a young audience by re-packaging tired old comic book tropes and dressing them up with things that used to be of interest to 13-15-year-olds (video games, skateboarding, backward caps, slang expressions, etc).  Bieber-NINO is a miserable failure as proved by steadily falling sales despite the greatest marketing campaign I’ve ever seen for a new comic character (i.e.  cartoon appearances, video game appearances, variant covers, crossovers, merchandise, top artists, popular writers).  That should tell you something, Marvel Editors.  It should tell you that NINO is a bad concept.  It should also tell you that you’ve completely alienated the existing Rider Nova fan base because NINO sells less well than Rider Nova did without all the marketing hype.

Let me spell it out.  With NINO you have the right marketing strategy paired with the wrong (and terribly inferior) concept.  With Nova Volume IV, you had the wrong marketing strategy (i.e. non-existent) paired with the right (superior) concept.  I suppose it’s too much to expect Brevoort and Alonso to actually get something right, but the next step is obvious.  Nix Bieber-NINO, keep the marketing strategy, and apply it to a resurrected Volume IV Rider Nova.

I know that will never happen.  Bendis has said he’s had the story of Rich’s fate in mind since before NINO was even announced.  If that’s true, you can bet he’s not going to treat Rider Nova or his fans kindly.  Bendis will no doubt continue the humiliation treatment by definitively killing Rich, or completely de-powering Rich, or villain-izing Rich, or Bieber-izing Rich by revealing that he is really an age-regressed Sam, or bringing Rich back to play second-fiddle to NINO, or revealing that Rich is really the aged and broken-down-drunk-loser, Jesse.  What Bendis definitely won’t do is bring Rich back as the mature, powerful, Nova Prime from Volume IV – because that would be too much of a threat to Bieber-NINO – the absurd, immoral trash that Marvel desperately wants to sell.  Frankly, I would personally prefer Rich’s fate to remain in doubt until NINO fails and a better writing/editorial team comes along in the future that actually respects the Rider Nova character and his fans.  I don’t want Rich brought back to in any way play second-fiddle to NINO.  And I’m willing to wait for as long as it takes to have Rich brought back right – because I know that Bendis, Brevoort, and Alonso will just make Rich a NINO, too.  Better no Nova than NINO.

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Movie News Reviews

X-Men: Days Of Future Past (2014) Review

The Ultimate Mulligan

A Film Review of X-Men: Days of Future Past

By Lawrence Napoli

 

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There’s no questioning the ambitious nature of a film production of this magnitude.  Not only is director Bryan Singer attempting to unite two separate, yet equally popular casts of successful X-Men films, but he is also attempting to correct the course for one of 20th Century Fox’s most valuable licenses where installments he wasn’t responsible for may have, shall we say, veered astray.  Oh yeah, he’s also trying to make an excellent summer blockbuster while laying the foundation for an ever expanding X-Men, cinematic universe (Channing Tatum as Gambit in a standalone is real) and all of this is somehow supposed to be accomplished in 2 hours and 11 minutes.  A solid attempt was made to corral all of the above, with several more A-list characters added to the fray, while nodding to one of the most influential X-Men storylines ever conceived, but Bryan Singer is no Franklin Richards.  He does not make fully functional universes in the palm of his hand with the speed of thought and with instantaneous relatability and comprehension by the audience.  There are plot gaps, there are awkward moments, there are unsatisfying resolutions and it’s all to be expected because there’s simply too much to account for, but they’ll be damned if they don’t try to cram it all in. 

The primary reason for this is the same reason why Sony is attempting a similar strategy by pitting Spider-Man against most of his famous rogues at once by pursuing the Sinister Six storyline.  Fox wants that Avengers money and they want it now.  Apparently, the only way to do this is by chucking more characters, subplots, and spectacle at the audience as possible.  Thus the writers must deliver or be discarded and Simon Kinberg, Jane Goldman and Matthew Vaughn responded with a story that’s a jack of all trades, but clearly a master of none.  First, let me note that despite Hugh Jackman’s presence in addition to his character’s significance, this is the first X-Men film that is not all about Wolverine.  The story is a tale that is as much Wolverine’s, as it is Mystique’s, as it is Professor Xavier’s, as it is Magneto’s.  Unfortunately, because this script is particularly required to focus on so many primary characters, the audience isn’t privy to a more rounded presentation of any of them.  This film is able to reconcile this deficiency due to an assumed familiarity with at least X-Men’s1-3 in addition to First Class and the hope that everyone remembers the good guys from the bad in addition to what they are all about as individuals.  Every reference to the past, every reference to the future, every comedic quip and all the clever banter does not pay off for those in the audience who are not in the know.  Those that are will be treated with layers of nostalgia and an unending parade of familiar faces which is, by far, this story’s absolute strength.  There are plenty of campfire scenes throughout to hammer home the team camaraderie theme, but as good as that feeling is, it is noticeably incomplete with several significant characters left out in the cold if not entirely forgotten all together.

This is the reality of the limitations of a script and how it translates to the final minute count, but the compromises do not end with character development, they extend to the story’s format.  As this film is initially told as a flashback from an (ahem) apocalyptic future of totalitarian hate, the audience is constantly shifting settings between the future (original cast) and the 70s (newer cast).  The dichotomy between worlds is an intriguing contrast that eventually gives way entirely to the 70s because ultimately the future subplot is window dressing for the 70s despite being infinitely more visually dynamic and interesting in general.  More screen time could have yielded a better balance in the importance of the activity of both realities, but there were more pressing matters to spend time on, like exposition.  There is an immense amount of off screen plot that has been at work since X-Men: First Class and it is leaked via dialogue to explain why the future is the way it is as well as why the 70s are the way they are.  Despite these obligatory scenes the most important plot device of this film (the time travelling element) is frustratingly revealed to be not exactly what we think it is and it is to be accepted completely on faith and forgotten immediately.  When is a DeLorean, not a DeLorean

Unfortunately, the biggest loser when it comes to this film’s accommodation of so many characters and subplots is the action and visual effects, you know, the real reason people go to be wowed by summer blockbusters.  First, the number of action sequences can be counted by a fraction of the fingers on one hand.  Second, the combat in both the future and past crawls along at a snail’s pace thanks mostly to a healthy application, reapplication AND REAPPLICATION of slow motion effects.  Third, the character powers and Sentinel activity portrayed in the future when compared to those depicted in the 70s is like comparing the special effects of Avatar to those used in Spaceballs.  (I get that the 70s can’t be as stylized as the future, but mutant powers are no less amazing in any time and should be presented as such)  Fourth, the hand to hand combat demonstrated by Jennifer Lawrence’s Mystique is as sensual as it is breathtaking; too bad she’s the only character who demonstrates this ability in the entire film.  (I’m looking at you “bone claws” Wolverine)

Now I invite the reader to forget everything and focus on the film within the film: Days of Future Past which I affectionately have labeled: Recruiting Quicksilver.  The small cross-section of this film that encompasses the character’s presentation, dialogue and action scenes are so uniquely satisfying that removing them from the final film would yield an end product that could only be described as average at best.  The Peter Maximoff/Quicksilver sequence is the first and last thing the audience will remember about this entire movie and its entertainment value is liquid gold in its comedic timing, glistening diamonds in its visual effect wizardry and pure platinum in its overall brilliance and added value to this cinematic adventure.  This sub-film even has its own 3 act structure that begins with pulling into the Maximoff drive way, shifts gears as soon as the headphones go on and decelerates when arguably the most powerful character the audience has seen thus far is unceremoniously dismissed to go back home to momma.  Evan Peters absolutely owns this character and he (along with the visual effects company that created his effects) deserves a standing ovation for invaluable contributions to this film that infuses significant moments of fun and joy throughout an otherwise foreboding film. 

As for everyone else, I’ll see if I can touch base on the entire cast.  James McAvoy delivers the best performance all around featuring sincere frustration, depression and redemption as a young Professor X.  Hugh Jackman delivers the most tame and tempered manifestation of Wolverine to date.  Michael Fassbender’s Magneto turns into a cookie-cutter, somewhat disinterested, pseudo-antagonist.  Jennifer Lawrence makes Mystique more and more interesting, seductive and much more sympathetic than Rebecca Romijn ever did.  Halle Berry’s Storm couldn’t be more irrelevant thanks to a severe lack of lines.  Nicholas Hoult is the quintessential, Big Bang Theory kind of Beast.  Anna Paquin is barely referenced as Rogue.  Ellen Page’s Kitty Pryde has an unexplained evolutionary jump in powers and still looks like a little girl amongst the rest of the cast.  Peter Dinklage commands respect on the screen as Bolivar Trask, but cannot stop playing (and winning) staring contests throughout the film.  Shawn Ashmore’s Iceman has a beard.  Omar Sy’s Bishop looks more impressive than his ability to impact a battle.  Josh Helman’s young Stryker does a decent job channeling Brian Cox with limited screen time.  Daniel Cudmore’s Colossus somehow has fewer lines than he had in X2Bingbing Fan’s Blink had an excellent visual effects team in charge of her.  Adan Canto’s Sunspot speaks softly (or not at all) and carries an enflamed stick.  Booboo Stewart’s Warpath uses knives.  Patrick Stewart’s Professor X is heartfelt and grandfatherly.  Ian McKellen’s Magneto is extremely old.  Lucas Till’s Havok says hi to prove his character is still alive in this universe.  Evan Jonigkeit’s Toad has got some mean goggles.     

X-Men plus $200 million dollars of production budget is going to draw a crowd and make money and that’s completely independent of the concept of quality.  The proof is X-Men Origins: Wolverine and that movie was, sorry to say, a steaming turd by all accounts yet it made $373 million globally.  I have plenty of reservations for this film due to 1) having followed every previous X-Men film, 2) being a rabid fan of the 90s cartoon series and 3) casually following the current stories from the comic books.  There are more than enough plot gaps and inconsistencies to downgrade its status from “great” because a film so reliant on connections to its predecessors should not be so flippant with “maintaining” its own continuity.  What makes X-Men: Days of Future Past a “good enough” blockbuster is the huge nostalgia factor of character interaction throughout in addition to anything involving Peter Maximoff/Quicksilver.  However, this film cannot bear the weight of its own plot because there’s simply too much going on in and between every scene.  In fact, just about every subplot could sustain its own, respective, feature length film.  Alas, the order of the day is to gloss over as many details as possible in order to bombard the audience with character, after plot twist, after character (and so on…) until the final credits roll.  At the end of the … Days of Future Past, this film serves Bryan Singer as the ultimate nullifier for abominable X-Men installments of the past so as to reassume control of a franchise he foolishly spurned for Superman.  We can all have hope for the future, but I certainly have nothing good to say regarding the post credit teaser in this film, which by the way, IS the lead-in to the sequel come 2016.

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Comic Book News

Review: Forever Evil #7 (of 7)

The long awaited conclusion to Forever Evil is here and BIG changes are in store for the DCU! It seems as though we have been waiting “forever” for this issue to hit the stands, but it is well worth the wait!

Geoff Johns has created a tale that will bring long lasting changes to all the corners of the New 52, a feat that has been promised with other crossover events throughout comicdom but never seems to pay off well. Believe me, by the time you turn the final page, you will be gasping for air!

Beginning directly where issue six left off, this issue begins in a rush. It feels that mere seconds pass between the first few pages and the shock of issue six’s conclusion is lost just as quickly as our heroes and villains ready themselves for an even more brutal attack. It is no holds barred as all the pieces fall on the table and Johns entices readers with page after page of devastating battles that culminate in more than just a few deaths. David Finch draws some of his best work and stages the layouts in glorious ways to harness the sheer brutality of each and every fight. Every panel feels like a splash page of ferocity even though there is only a single splash page in the book and it comes at the very end!

Even though Johns is quite generous with the amount of eye popping violence throughout the tale, it is the quieter moments that truly define it. Johns finds the true voice of Lex Luthor in this issue. He is an amalgam and every tiny nuance comes into play. From his brilliant deduction skills to a deep rooted sadness over the loss of “family,” Johns makes him THE best villain in the entire DCU in a single issue. There are instances where you will be left speechless and one that will spark controversy, but all of them culminate in an epic tale that is at the pinnacle of perfection.  

I could tell you TONS of spoilers, but that’s not my thing! What I do want is for you to run out, get this book and behold the beginning of a darker world. One where the line between hero and villain has become blurred, where a man who has saved them all may have more than just good intentions up his sleeve. One where Lex Luthor has become greater than he ever was before!

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Comic Book News Marvel

Review: Original Sin #2 (of 8)

Jason Aaron brings more questions than answers to his tale of the death of the Watcher, but is that a good thing or just a way to drag this book out for a full eight issues?

The second installment to Jason Aaron and Mike Deodato’s tale, that will “forever change the Marvel Universe,” is completely intriguing. Laced with more than a few occurrences of superhero fisticuffs, this issue weaves in and out of the separate storylines that follow the different teams assembled to find the Watcher’s murderer. Along the way, we find out that from the Moloids to nether realm demons, something or someone has been taking lives for a very long time and they might just be the ones responsible for the death of the Watcher as well. As old villains stick their heads out of the shadows and into the spotlight of the tale, our curiosity peaks, making us ponder about where all of this is going and just how did the numerous machinations Aaron throws at us merge to forge this tale?

Although there are many fronts and just as many plot twists to his story, Jason Aaron harnesses them with precision and has brought a darker voice to the Marvel Universe with this tale. Hinged on the murder of the Watcher, this story is bleak from the start, but the way Aaron gives “life” to the Mindless Ones is overtly creepy and brings the tale to a deeper level. The horrors that these creatures can “see” because they now know sin, is a direct reflection to the loss of innocence and their “awakening” in the world. It gives an underlying level of sadness to these creatures that are used as pawns in the grand scheme of things and now, only wish for their minds to “be quiet” by any means possible. This aspect of the story helps bring a richer quality to it and offsets the levity that usually permeates these types of tales.

This multifaceted tale is building up a great pace with plenty of surprises to keep us at the edge of our seats. Although the big reveal at the end was somewhat of a let down, everything before it has got me baited for whatever comes next!

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Movie News Reviews

Godzilla (2014) Movie Review

Yep, Another Giant Monster Movie

A Film Review of Godzilla (2014)

By Lawrence Napoli

 

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There’s only so much you can do with a monster movie when your monsters 1) don’t speak, 2) aren’t the real focus of the story or 3) behave exactly the same as they have in every giant monster attack film seen by audiences all over the world since the birth of this genre.  That still won’t stop Hollywood from trying as everyone’s favorite beast from the east, Godzilla, rears his stubby snout and portly belly [sign that lizard up for some Jenny Craig!] in a disaster film that tries to breathe some freshly radiated energy into the creature’s origin and purpose for existing.  I don’t mean to lay a MUTO egg down the throats of everyone that helped make this film (because there is artistry in every completed film thanks to its collaborative nature; regardless of its end quality), but I struggled to find any entertainment value in this film.  In recent history the audience has seen more visually imposing disasters, better looking monsters, more satisfying action involving said monsters and most importantly, more interesting human stories that always become the plot engines for these types of spectacles.

Novice screenwriter Max Borenstein created this screenplay for Godzilla based on a story conceived by one of the “brains” behind The Expendables franchise, Dave Callahan.  In it, the audience is treated to a retro-reboot of the King of Beasts’ most iconic films of the 60s and 70s which thankfully ignores the atomic bomb that was Roland Emmerich’s interpretation in 1998 starring Matthew Broderick and sees Gojira return to his heroic roots.  At one point in this film’s first act, an idea is introduced suggesting that the Big G is a force of nature meant to restore balance to the planet.  That would have been a neat idea to frame an entire giant-monster-attack film around.  Too bad it was conveniently pulled out of thin air by Dr. Serizawa (the “lead” MUTO scientist?) and shelved immediately because this moment’s only purpose was to get the audience thinking the giant lizard might be good.  These are the kinds of plot twists that make a story more interesting because (traditionally) they are well setup for the audience to discover with onscreen action or investigative dialogue.  Unfortunately, Godzilla’s story is not presented with any methodology outside of left-field, coincidental moments of clarity where the divine intervention of lazy writing empowers every character to move the plot ahead without any particular connection with or loyalty to any previous scene.

The other problem I have with this story is the fact that people go to see these movies for Godzilla, Rodan, Mothra, etc., yet they aren’t the main characters in their own tales due to the understood communication deficiencies of these larger than life beings.  Thus, the story must focus on the screaming masses of human beings that foolishly try to control the situation while they avoid being stepped on.  In this regard, Godzilla is likened to Michael Bay’s Transformers in that the movie should be renamed: Stupid Humans and Their Godzilla Pet.  That’s not to say the monsters couldn’t accomplish this task, but that would have required shutting up the entire cast for chunks of screen time to allow the Massive Unidentified Terrestrial Organisms to pantomime some plot and formulaic filmmaking will have none of that.  Perhaps the strategy of leaning on the monsters more wasn’t even considered, but it would have been a welcome novelty considering every aspect of the human part of this story is as annoying as it is recurring.  Scientists that are experts in their fields have no clue what’s going on, military people want to blow everything up, soldiers want to protect their families, blah, blah, blah.  Zero of these human subplots have any emotional weight.  They feel tacked on, with minimalist dialogue and performed with the gravitas of a high school musical save for Bryan Cranston’s contributions (but we’ll revisit his situation later).

The visual spectacle of giant monsters destroying locations of the world that aren’t named New York City, Los Angeles and Washington D.C. looks good enough, but certainly nothing different from the city wide destruction we see every day on the national news as a result of war and natural disasters.  Part of the problem is that the audience doesn’t actually see the giant monsters actively ripping skyscrapers to shreds until the climactic battle late in the film.  What we do see is a lot of aftermath shots of urban areas that look like bombs were dropped all over, but they are static and completely devoid of danger.  It makes you wonder where all the money from a very healthy $160 million dollar budget went, and I presume it went to animating Godzilla himself who looks great (especially when he “charges up”), but he’s the only exceptional visual effect at work for the duration.  I’d also like to restate how the climactic battle was a real treat to watch, but it left me wanting more and wondering why I didn’t get it this whole time.  I suppose long time special effect engineer turn director Gareth Edwards felt that a couple of really good looking moments with monsters is enough to satisfy an audience so long as it’s supplemented with some average looking stunt work featuring people being crushed, people falling down and people otherwise at the complete mercy of these forces of nature. 

As this review closes out, I will briefly comment on the “acting” that was apparently at work in Godzilla for which the entire cast can be described as looking like the “deer in the headlights” at all times.  Quicksilver (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) and Scarlet Witch (Elizabeth Olsen) seem to be a package deal as they play husband and wife Ford and Elle Brody in this film as a family displaced by a mega monster grudge match.  I guess I can’t blame them for a severe lack of romantic chemistry seeing how they have two scenes together, but I can blame the casting directors (four of them, if you can believe it) for recruiting an actor meant to play a tough soldier leading man who still sounds like he’s 13 years old.  I suppose casting someone from the Olsen bloodline was fine for Godzilla because her role impacts no other character, no additional subplot and is completely irrelevant.  David Strathairn and Juliet Binoche are here strictly to pick up their paychecks.  Ken Watanabe further demonstrates his exponential mastery of the English language with his five lines.  As for Bryan Cranston, the most respectable actor in this entire cast, I only have two things to say to the reader: Deep Blue Sea (1999) and Samuel L. Jackson.  You do the math.

The fact is that Godzilla is a license that’s going to keep coming back to the big screen because of a ready-made fan base and global recognition, but whether these films are ultimately good is strictly in the eyes of the beholder.  However, I gained increased appreciation for the 60s and 70s films after watching this most recent installment and especially for the ones that showed cheesy dialogue between Mothra and Godzilla regarding the king lizard’s hesitance to help human beings because they always open fire on him whenever he shows up to help.  That’s Academy Award winning material when compared to this film and although the campy films of the past don’t have all the bells, whistles and big names of 2014’s Godzilla, they have a hell of a lot more heart.  This film is a pass.  It’s too bad this movie will still be occupying IMAX theatres into next week because I’d rather spend a few more bucks to watch Days of Future Past on the largest screen possible.

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Comic Book News

Review: The Walking Dead #127

Warning: Spoilers Dead Ahead!

 

After the controversial ending of Robert Kirkman’s twelve part event, “All Out War,” wrapped up last issue, he sends us all two years into the future and starts “A New Beginning.”

I am not going to lie, seeing characters that I have been following since the very beginning thrust two years into the future was a little jarring. Some of their physical appearances have changed so much it was hard to find their “voice” as I read along, especially Rick’s!

Most comic stories that make dramatic jumps in time are merely for gimmick reasons. It is to foreshadow things to come, bring back a dead character or, worst case scenario, work around a horrible plot that failed commercially. This is not the case with The Walking Dead. Robert Kirkman has progressed the story two years without upsetting the overall tale of the story in any way. It is directly related to the events that happened in “AOW” and even if you haven’t been following TWD for very long, you can follow and enjoy this tale without missing anything. It is crafted to be the perfect stepping stone for those that have never ventured into the world Kirkman has created and still will enthrall ravenous fans with every page!

Kirkman has been promising “BIG” changes to the world of TWD this year and we can finally see what he means with this issue. It is no longer about a group of survivors struggling through the world searching for a safe place to stay and some scraps to eat. Kirkman has officially changed the entire scope of his book to include the rebuilding of civilization itself. There are communities, families, trading, farms, schools and careers all being built and it gives the book an air of hope that has never been felt before. Kirkman adds so many new layers to characters this issue as well. Rick has become the older, wiser leader that exudes strength and hope through his community and has acquired a new way of utilizing both hands! Andrea has grown as the more physical leader of the group and as Rick’s “right hand woman,” makes sure that all is well with construction and roamer corralling. She has also become “mom” to Carl as well. Carl has emerged as the budding teenager, seeking to become his own man, and has begun to ask certain questions a father may find uncomfortable answering. Whom he asks instead, is a great ending that is both shocking and fitting and is sure to be all the buzz at the water cooler tomorrow.

With the introduction of new characters, the future exploration of fan favorites and a new logo to top it all off, this issue was perfect on all levels. It was fascinating to see how the characters progressed not only by themselves but as a community as well. Some may complain about the two year jump and that they want to see how the characters got to this organized world. I say reading two years worth of planting seeds and training people to ride horses does not keep readers interested in your book. 

This was an overall great great book for fans and new comers alike, a book that will re-energize Kirkman’s entire franchise!

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Comic Book News Marvel

Oped: Nova: The Showdown with Marvel Editorial

The Cosmic Triune

An Opinion-Editorial

By

Timelord

 

Nova:  The Showdown with Marvel Editorial

 

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Now is the time for all true Richard Rider Nova fans to come to the aid of their favorite character.

As everyone now knows, Bendis will reveal the fate of Richard Rider in Issue #18 of his GotGINO (Guardians of the Galaxy In Name Only).  This development has been met with a great deal of consternation from Rider Nova fans worldwide – and for good reason given Marvel’s treatment of the character and fans of the character over the past two years.

A little background is in order.  The Annihilation event and subsequent Nova (Volume IV; 2007-2010) series redefined the Richard Rider character from the teenage Peter Parker-ish inspired iteration originating in Nova (Volume I; 1976-1979) and persisting in slightly modified form over succeeding volumes to a mature, powerful, battle-hardened leader of men.  Fans of the character celebrated this major change for the better, and most long-term fans believed that their favorite character had finally actualized the potential they had always longed for but only rarely glimpsed in the character.  Writers, Giffen and DnA, had recognized the same potential as the fans and acted to bring it to fresh, stunning and imaginative life; while most prior writers had merely focused on trying to re-create Spiderman.  In essence, with the new and improved Richard Rider Nova, we had a Nova for a new generation.

As an interesting aside, I’ve had personal communication with Marv Wolfman, creator of the Rider Nova character, and he indicated to me that he intended to take Rider Nova in the same direction as Giffen/DnA of more mature space-based adventures had his original series not been cancelled.  Essentially, the Peter Parker-ish similarities were originally used to sell the idea to Marvel Editorial and to get the comic book buyers of the 1976 era to give the series a try, but he always intended to evolve the character into something better, more mature, and unique for the era.  Sadly, Marvel Editorial has not shared such vision for the character and has been determined to keep the character/concept a “One-Trick Pony” – stuck forevermore in “pale imitation of Peter Parker” mode.  And that brings us to NINO (Nova In Name Only).

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As we all know, the best and all time fan-favorite Rider Nova iteration, Volume IV, was placed on “hiatus” in 2010 prior to The Thanos Imperative event.  Then Marvel EIC, Joe Quesada, stated that sales were not a factor in that decision; so fans naturally assumed that the series would resume after The Thanos Imperative event.  So we waited.  And we waited some more.  And we eventually learned that “hiatus” is apparently “Marvel-speak” for “cancellation.”  We then learned that Jeph Loeb had hijacked the Nova concepts and was replacing Rider with an obnoxious 13-year-old teen Peter-Parker-ish personality/storyline.  In other words, Loeb was back-stepping to the old clichés we’d finally overcome – in essence creating a “Nova” (In Name Only) for a past generation by once again re-packaging Spiderman, and in ultimate disrespect of the loyalty of the Rider Nova fans, he believed we’d buy anything with the word, “Nova,” smeared across the cover of the book. 

Marvel Editorial was complicit in the disrespect of the loyalty of the Rider Nova fans; suddenly declaring Rider “dead” (though the same treatment didn’t apply to Thanos, Drax, and Star-Lord since they were going to be in a movie soon) and therefore in need of a “replacement” even though Volume IV writers, DnA, had clearly stated in several interviews that Rider was merely temporarily “marooned” in the Cancerverse.  In an insincere attempt to assuage outraged Rider fans, Marvel EIC, Axel Alonso, said he expected the Rider Nova fans to “embrace” NINO and then faux-canonized Rider’s now ret-conned “death” as something too special to undo.  Yeah – right.  Somehow Rider’s “death” was too special but Thanos’, Star-Lord’s, and Drax’s same story/same cause/same event/same “death” wasn’t quite so special?  Hey Alonso – disingenuous much?

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I coined the protest term, NINO (Nova In Name Only), to set Loeb’s version apart from all other versions of true Rider Nova comic books.  We’ve now been afflicted with 16 cliché-filled issues of NINO sullying the concepts – all of them ranging from bottom-of-the-barrel to mediocre in quality.  Despite tons of marketing hype (that Volume IV never received) and numerous variant covers (featuring Deadpool of course), publicly available sales figures have ranged from nearly equivalent to less than Rider’s Volume IV sales – so Marvel Editorial, where’s the beef?  Where’s the proof that NINO is a better concept?  You’ve got none.  Despite your best efforts, NINO is a failure – critically and financially.  And when fans point that out, they are immediately attacked by one or more Marvel Editors (you know who I’m talking about).

So now Bendis is poised to tell us Rider’s fate.  Given his driving of GotGINO into the ground, I’ve previously described looking forward to his take about as much as I’d look forward to root canal surgery.  Many theories have been floated as to which comic book cliché Bendis will choose to explain Rider’s death.  Some believe Bendis will just flat out kill Rider as a means to solidify NINO in place as the goofy teen Lone Ranger “idiot” (Loeb’s own description of his own character) that Marvel Editorial seems to desperately want to sell.  Another theory is that Star-Lord was forced to kill Rich to escape the Cancerverse. Others have posited that Bendis will give Rich the Parallax treatment and turn him into a Shuma-Gorath-possessed villain before killing him as a means to formally hand the torch to NINO.  Another theory is that Thanos absorbed Rich’s powers and if Rich returns at all he’ll be de-powered.  Still others think that Jesse Alexander and/or Sam Alexander are time/alternate-universe-displaced versions of Rich. There are probably many more clichés I’ve failed to mention.  But so far, few believe that Rich will be brought back into the 616 to take his rightful place as the mature, powerful, Nova-Prime as that would be too much of a threat to the NINO that Marvel desperately wants to sell; even though NINO has been soundly rejected by most of Rider Nova fandom.

What I find most disturbing is the passive complacency many fans exhibit – acting as if there is nothing that can be done to affect the outcome of this process.  Might I remind you that Joe Quesada encouraged us to vote with our dollars?  It’s very simple.  If you want Rich back, stop buying NINO and send an email to Marvel telling them why you’re not buying NINO and why you want Rich back in his rightful place as Nova Prime.  Encourage all your friends to do the same.

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As far as I’m concerned, the only acceptable outcomes for GotGINO #18’s story of what happened to Rich Rider is for Rider to be returned to the 616 as Nova Prime intent on re-building Xandar and The Nova Corps or for Rider to be left alive marooned in the Cancerverse as a freedom-fighter for a better writing/editorial team in the future to bring back to the 616 once NINO inevitably and deservedly completely fails and is cancelled.

Let’s get organized and begin a showdown with Marvel Editorial.  Let’s make a pledge to kill NINO if Marvel kills, de-powers, or uses one of the other clichés mentioned above to marginalize Rich Rider.

What do I mean by “kill NINO?”  NINO is teetering on the edge of cancellation already – and NeWINO (New Warriors In Name Only) featuring NINO as the headliner character premiered to cancellation threshold sales.  It would just take a small push to end NINO and NeWINO

If all the true Rider Nova fans still buying NINO and NeWINO in vain hope of Rider’s return to Volume IV-era glory are once again disappointed and disrespected by Bendis’/Marvel Editorial’s upcoming explanation of Rider’s fate, and they would simply join the rest of us in boycotting NINO and NeWINO, then  NINO and NeWINO would be pushed into cancellation and Marvel would reap just punishment for disrespecting us and our favorite character.   With the most recent issues of NINO and NeWINO only selling 22K and 23K, respectively, a few thousand less buyers and both are done. 

It’s a very simple message to Marvel Editorial:  You allow Bendis to kill or otherwise marginalize Rich Rider, and we kill NINO and every other book in which NINO appears.  We also boycott all NINO merchandise and boycott the Ultimate Spiderman cartoon and the rumored upcoming GotG cartoon if it features NINO.  Better no Nova than NINO.

Hey – we’re just doing what Joe Quesada said and voting with our dollars.  We have the numbers to deal the death strike to NINO and GotGINO if Marvel once again disappoints us.  I say we use our power to maximum advantage.

Nix NINO!  Long live Rich Rider!

DISCUSS THIS IN THE COSMIC BOOK NEWS FORUMS

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Comic Book News

Review: Original Sin #1

Marvel’s next “World Changing Event” crossover is here, and whether it will truly live up to the mass amount of hype remains to be seen as this debut issue lumbers along through the motions without stirring up the overhanded “shock and awe” needed to pique a readers interest.

In a market that over floods itself with its own “leaked” information in order to drive interest in a book, we finally see how overexposure of key plot devices can harm an overall well constructed story. Jason Aaron’s tale of the murder and mutilation of the Watcher suffers from the fact that fans knew what to expect months ago. The essential shocking reveal, so desperately needed to drive the story, is lost in the mix and feels like just another page to be turned in order to see what’s next. Some may argue that the death of the Watcher is not the most important piece in Aaron’s tale, but rather, who did it and why they did it is more essential overall. Although those questions are what drives the story forward into the multitude of books to follow, it still felt as though the emotional impact was lost.

Jason Aaron’s story is still a well thought out “mystery play” that solidifies itself by interweaving subtle character moments and grandiose action sequences into a single intriguing tale. From Cap, Wolvie, Fury and Widow’s unique “meat night” sequence to the ominous Mindless One’s use of the Ultimate Nullifier, Aaron creates thought provoking character interaction that is top notch. The commingling of unlikely heroes, Punisher and Dr.Strange or Ant-Man, Black Panther and Emma Frost, takes this story from just another “Avenger themed” crossover into a multi-faceted exercise in character development that is usually lost in Marvel’s “event” books. Aaron’s choice of character grouping seems to solidify all facets of the Marvel U. and also brings a sense of fun to the pages, an almost whimsically classic feel amidst such dark parameters of the tale itself.

Mike Deodato’s art is well done and hits all the key notes on cue, although some panels seem to become muddied and facial expressions become lost when the characters are not in costume; it is well done overall. Deodato’s overall tone and thick shadowing are harmonious with the mood and scope of Aaron’s tale and help elevate it too a deeper level of intrigue.

Overall, Original Sin is a good opening number and sets the stage for what is to come. I only wish that we didn’t know so much about the overall concept prior to release. It would have been exponentially more wonderful to be surprised by the death of such a classic character if we all hadn’t already known his fate.

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Movie News Reviews

Review: Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014)

Revisiting a Sticky Situation

A Film Review of The Amazing Spider-Man 2

By Lawrence Napoli

 

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The summer is fully up and running what with a second comic book blockbuster to grace the box office in the much anticipated sequel to The Amazing Spider-Man.  We are almost two exact years to the day removed from The Avengers and the (ahem) amazing things it did by interweaving multiple franchises into a culminating, team-based extravaganza the likes of which have never been seen before.  Marvel Studios, and Kevin Feige in particular, certainly had sky-high ambitions regarding this effort, but they continue to reap the rewards as the trend setters.  Since then we’ve seen every other major studio with comic book rights setting themselves up for the same kind of “Avengers-like” mega film in hopes of duplicating, if not surpassing, $1.5 billion in global sales.  Warner Bros.’ Man of Steel/Justice League, 20th Century Fox’s X-Men and of course Sony Picture’s Amazing Spider-Man franchises all aspire to Marvel Studios’ success, but they all want to get to that Avengers money faster, and they’ve all figured throwing a whole bunch of major characters at audiences in one fell swoop is the key.

We all knew the rouge’s gallery was coming.  Every trailer for The Amazing Spider-Man 2 specifically showed us the tech that “belongs” to classic members of The Sinister Six of which Sony has confirmed will have a stand-alone film not to mention a separate film to introduce everyone’s favorite lethal protector, Venom.  Rest assured true believers, references, name-dropping and direct appearances from major characters in Spidey’s universe are part of the very joy that makes ASM 2.  Unfortunately, it is also the major source my criticism for this film as I predict similar problems for future films in other franchises pursuing the character-bomb method.  You see, if a film is trying to sell me on multiple antagonists, then that film better have enough screen time to get the job done properly.  The problem is that ASM 2 is a film primarily concerned with Peter Parker’s struggle with his alter ego, his relationship with Gwen Stacy, his relationship with Aunt May and his search for the truth surrounding the mystery of his parents’ disappearance.  All of that stuff was absolutely great as Spidey’s moments with his girlfriend and Aunt are far and away the most dramatic and emotional high’s (and low’s) of this film.  The screenwriting team of Kurtzman, Orci, Pinker and Vanderbilt carried over the best plot elements from the first film and expanded upon Web-Head’s drama in the second.

Thus, it should be to no one’s surprise that this leaves little old Electro (and everyone else) a whole lot of bupkis regarding screen time to develop themselves as characters, to make their presence meaningful and to compare/contrast with the hero’s motivations to perhaps identify them other than flat, evil and dull.  I simply could not help but think that every one of these supposedly alpha villains was a mere afterthought to Peter’s intimate relationships, and this problem is amplified by their sheer number.  These fellows go through some pretty drastic personal and physical transformations in no time flat that results in some plot gaps here and convenient plot devices there just to get the audience from point A to B as efficiently as possible.  That’s all well and good for animated series and comic books because there’s always the next episode or issue to explain what just happened.  Movies need to get it right the first time around because sometimes a character arc gets fully resolved in the same film he or she is introduced.  Every single villain in this film, regardless of how strong or menacing they appear to be, pale in comparison to the Tyrannosaurus Rex that is Peter Parker’s personal insecurity, guilt and shame.  ASM 2’s villains are vacant spectacles of eye candy and they could have all been replaced with common bank robbers and gang bangers.

If story isn’t your meat and potatoes, ASM 2 has some of the best CG effects at work in the film industry today, and it almost makes up for one of the worst endings I’ve seen in a comic book adaptation to date (but more on that later).  I loved how the virtual camera gets in super close to Spidey’s POV while swinging around NYC. and I appreciated more than just one static angle where the audience only sees his hands, then webs then rinse and repeat.  Spider-Man has never appeared as aerial as he does in this film, and this welcome feature infuses some visually pleasing movement to the frame without jarring explosions or mid flight fisticuffs muddling the flow.  I believe director Marc Webb finds a good balance between real time and bullet time effects for the overall action.  Yes, yes, we all know the “Spider-Sense” is technically “on” all the time, but it would get pretty boring to watch slow motion action in every scene.  The visual aesthetics don’t get any better than the powered up Electro whose CG team were clearly drawing some inspiration from Watchmen’s Dr. Manhattan.  Every sinewy, neon bolt pops from every background in both day and night and seeing that character fling lightning and transport from place to place is a sight to see.

Cast performances are all over the map, but thankfully the main roles that are reprised are solid once again.  Emma Stone’s Gwen Stacy is easily the most charismatic character onscreen, and it’s more than just her good looks at work.  She has a great smile, great energy, comedic timing a notable ability to dial it back for drama and dial it up for anger and all while having some genuine chemistry with Peter Parker a.k.a. Andrew Garfield.  And speaking of whom, Spidey is a perfect blend of smart-ass, hopeless romantic, and indecisive pariah as the charming Mr. Garfield delivers once again while minimizing his ADD nervousness around Gwen when he wishes to communicate his guilt about the relationship in light of the promise he made to Captain Stacy.  Sally Field gives the audience another reliable “mom performance” and continues to keep Aunt May energized with some attitude, which is fine by me because I never want to see that character as a decrepit grandmother ever again.

Everyone else appears to be out-acted by Dennis Leary playing the stoic ghost of Captain Stacy.  Paul Giamatti hasn’t played a more irrelevant character as Aleksei Sytsevich since the fraudulent Rudy he played in The Negotiator opposite Kevin Spacey and Samuel L. Jackson.  His appearance in this film as the “Rhino” is nothing more than a paltry down payment for future films which will hopefully evolve into more than a series of snarls and grunts, but don’t hold your breath.  Chris Cooper goes un-credited as Norman Osborn in an absolute throwaway role.  I suppose this is just as well because I too would want to forget that I was criminally underused as perhaps the most talented thespian of the cast in a mega-budget paycheck film.  Dane DeHaan delivers a duplication of the dreary and demented Andrew Detmer from Chronicle.  Seriously, his rendition of Harry Osborn is the exact same character, but with better clothes, and his Green Goblin … well, it could very well end up with the golden razzie for worst character of the year.

Perhaps it was silly of me to expect more out of an academy award winning actor like Jaime Foxx because quite frankly, those actors are usually not filling out these kinds of “popcorn” roles.  He definitely overplayed the hokey nature of Max Dillon almost as if he was mimicking Jim Carrey’s Riddler.  I understand he did this to accentuate his obsessive compulsive social disorder which in turn makes him a more pathetic target for everyone else to push around if not completely disregard.  It explains the anger he lets loose as a severely pissed off Electro, but it also left open a moment for Electro to be a sympathetic villain which almost happens in the Time Square sequence.  Due to time constraints and the pre-designation of that scene being a “fight” scene, that moment vanishes as quickly as it’s suggested as whatever character he had left loses all dimensionality and transforms as another, ho-hum (I’ll get revenge on Spider-Man!) villain that’s about as cookie-cutter as comic book villains get.

The Amazing Spider-Man 2 is a film that suffers from way too much going on at the same time for the duration of the entire film that it lessens the emotional impact of every moment as a result.  Peter Parker’s internal struggle was conveyed well at the expense of trivializing his external conflict.  This would not have been an issue had Electro been the sole villain which would have (potentially) expanded Spidey’s ability to talk down a would-be villain or find some way to reason with him or her to resolve the conflict other than knocking them out.  Alas, that option literally goes up in smoke as what seems like a natural end to the film after a climactic battle drags out into a half-hearted, amended ending for no other reason than squeezing in a couple more characters for the last precious minutes of screen time.  It’s the kind of moments you would see shoehorned into a post-credits or mid-credits teaser (of which there is none, so once you see the X-Men thing, you can leave the theatre).  What’s worse is that these token battles bookend a major (and somewhat expected) plot twist that simply does not deliver the emotional outburst it damn well should have accomplished.  It was a disappointing end to an already slumping third act that I kept shaking my head over and over seeing how the first 2/3 of the film was shaping up so well.

Spidey fanboys will go nuts over all the references in addition to all the dramatic placeholders left in this film that expanded universe films might eventually deliver upon.  There is plenty of action and special effects to satiate the average audience member looking to take a mental vacation for a couple of hours.  But if you’re looking for a real character-driven, action-adventure, set in an ever expanding cinematic universe, you might still be able to catch a screening of Captain America 2: The Winter Soldier.  This Spider-Man suffers from too much tacked-on, especially at the end.  Topher Grace knows exactly what I’m talking about.

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Comic Book News Marvel

Review: The Amazing Spider-Man #1

Spinning directly out of his best selling book Superior Spiderman, Dan Slott, puts Peter Parker back in the tights and unleashes enough hilarity and intrigue to satiate any Spidey fan!

Dan Slott has been both scathed and praised for his tale of Dr. Octopus as the Superior Spiderman. Personally, I was in awe of the way Slott created a story revolving around one of Spidey’s greatest villains, one that both destroyed and exponentially enhanced Peter Parker’s life simultaneously. From that very first issue, I pondered the possible outcomes and how Slott would hopefully make Peter’s return one that would be wrought with challenges he never saw coming. Today, all those thoughts come true as Peter emerges into a world he never created but now has to deal with.

Dan Slott writes a tightrope of a tale, balancing between the two things that make Spider-Man work — humor and consequence. From page one, Slott, makes an opening sequence that will shock you, one that will have lasting ramifications for years to come and will start a fresh controversy all over again! From there we are immediately thrust into an all out action sequence rife with comically infused banter that Spidey fans have been missing. The humor goes over the top (“spidey skivvies” anyone) before we are jettisoned into a press conference regarding Peter’s role at Parker Industries. Slott continues this pattern of humor and intrigue throughout the remainder of the first story, and we are left with a scene between Peter and Anna Maria Marconi that will change their relationship forever.

From there we are given small vignettes from Chris Yost, Peter David, Joe Caramagna, and Christos Gage, as well as Slott again, that hit on particular characters that will be stirring things up for ol‘ Peter in the new series and beyond. With a multitude of artists in tow, these writers give us tantalizing tales about Kaine, Black Cat, Electro, and someone new, that show just how Spider-Man has changed their lives whether it was Doc Ock or Peter behind the mask. The build-up is intense, and it will leave you clamoring for more!

Overall, this was a great read that gives you all out action, amazing art by Humberto Ramos, plenty of hijinks and of course, the always needed — screaming of J. Jonah Jameson!

Slott has begun a new era of Spidey tales in classic fashion and fans will be delighted by every page!

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