Marvel

And the foolishness continues.

Duggan has been writing Deadpool so long that he’s forgotten how to write anything else (if he ever could write anything else in the first place).  This issue of NINO is just silly, campy, DUMB child-oriented fantasy at its absolute worst.

I think about so many titles that were so much better than this garbage – Agents of Atlas, Young Allies, Incredible Hercules – (not to mention Volume II of Guardians of the Galaxy and Volume IV of Nova) – and Marvel keeps this trash on life support?  There’s something in the works we don’t know about at this point.

We do know that Bendis is going to write the fate of Rich Rider as part of his GotGINO tie-ins to Original Sin.  That ought to be about as enjoyable as a combined root canal and colonoscopy.  There’s one thing we can count on:  with Bendis, Brevoort, Alonso, Loeb, Wacker, and Duggan having anything to do with it, Rich definitely won’t be returning – at least not in any way any Rider Nova fan will find satisfying.  The Marvel Clown Car drivers are determined to cram NINO down our throats.  If you’re still buying NINO, you’re just making it easier for them.

Anyway, in this issue NINO continues to bumble his way through the situation somehow using powers he’s never been trained to use in heavy combat situations to best THREE rogue Spaceknights. Yeah. That’s plausible.  He then takes a break to attend school. Yeah. That’s plausible, too.  At school, he sleeps through class (great message to the kiddies at whom this book is aimed), and then agrees with his science teacher that there are no aliens.  I guess that teacher slept through Bendis’ Secret Invasion?  Come to think of it, I did, too, after I got bored with counting all the alien invasion movie concepts Bendis ripped-off while writing that utterly derivative and boring “event.”

Next issue’s cover features the little idiot lifting Stormbreaker.  NINO isn’t worthy of the uniform he’s usurped – and Marvel wants to portray him as worthy enough to lift Stormbreaker, too?  Yeah – you’ve pretty much got to have the mentality of an 8-year-old to buy into the entire concept of NINO.  I find myself rooting for the villains in every issue.  I’d rejoice if one of them killed the little idiot.

The funny thing is that Duggan et al just keep doubling-down on everything that isn’t working despite falling sales that should be telling them that the NINO concept has been soundly rejected.  Nix NINO, and bring back a Rider Nova book aimed at adult readers is the message Brevoort and Alonso are deliberately ignoring to push the worthlessness that is NINO.

The art and coloring are certainly acceptable; though I found portraying Cosmo to be morbidly obese a bit off-putting.  But, again, that’s just a single off-putting example of a book filled to the brim with off-putting bastardizations and ret-cons of the much better true cosmic that preceded it written by actual talented cosmic writers such as Giffen and DnA.  Marvel’s strategy of firing the talented writers and bringing in the hacks has worked wonders for cosmic hasn’t it?  Good job Alonso and Brevoort.

So buckle-up Rider Nova fans.  Unfortunately it’s been bad – but the worst is yet to come.  Marvel isn’t through insulting, disrespecting, and underestimating us.  They’ve commissioned Bendis to deal the death blow.  They think we’re too few in number to matter, and that we’ll eventually just give up and/or fade away – and they want to hurry that process along with Bendis writing Rich’s ultimate dire fate.  Let’s prove them wrong.  Join me in continuing to boycott NINO.  Boycott Original Sin and GotGINO, too.  Marvel needs to be punished in the only manner they understand – monetarily – for their “original sin” of running cosmic into the ground and disrespecting/insulting/underestimating cosmic fans in general and the Rider Nova fans in particular.

It’s faint praise but this issue is probably the best of the worst thus far.

I say that only because Duggan mangles the Nova Corps mythos a tad less than usual, and of course, because Rich Rider and Cosmo make cameo appearances.  Also, Knowhere is back to being portrayed as a Celestial head floating in the Big Rip rather than Bendis’ recent portrayal of it as a desert planet in a binary system (ripping off Star Wars’ Tatooine).  Otherwise, this issue is yet another completely forgettable waste of time, money, and paper.

NINO himself remains an obnoxious and thoroughly unlikable disgrace to the Nova Corps uniform and legacy.  As usual, he bumbles his way through situations – implausibly and unbelievably utilizing powers he’s never been trained to use during heavy combat situations that he’s never been formally trained to manage.  And, as usual, the cute sugary coating that overlies this intelligence-insulting series fairly oozes off each page threatening to send even non-diabetic readers into a hyperglycemia-induced coma.  They’re just desperate to turn this tripe into a Disney kiddie movie aren’t they?

That’s one of the things that bothers me most about this despicable series.  It isn’t enough that Loeb, Alonso, Brevoort, and Duggan disrespect and insult true long-term Rider Nova fans by replacing him with an annoying child, they also insist on dumbing down the storylines and concepts to pre-teen level.

Continuing Bendis’ wrong-headed ret-conning of Knowhere into an alternate universe version of Tatooine’s Mos Eisley spaceport, Duggan lifts the Han Solo vs Greedo bar scene right out of Star Wars Episode IV.   Hey Duggan – have you ever actually read a science-fiction novel?  Or does your total understanding of cosmic (like Bendis’) come from being a casual Star Wars fan?  It sure seems like the latter. 

Here’s the main difference between DnA’s Nova/GotG and Loeb’s-Duggan’s NINO/Bendis’ GotGINO:  DnA’s work read like a well-written science-fiction novel that respected readers’ adult mentality, and Loeb’s-Duggan’s NINO/Bendis’ GotGINO read like comic books aimed at children and/or zombies who’ll buy anything.  It’s the difference between DnA’s entertaining, intriguing, imaginative, original, high- quality work that respects the characters and fans, and Loeb’s/Bendis’/Duggan’s pedestrian, forgettable, un-imaginative, derivative, hackneyed trash which disrespects the characters and fans.

In an obvious attempt to “throw a bone” to Rider Nova fans, Duggan et al includes a cameo flashback of Rich Rider coming to BRB’s rescue in a heretofore unknown meeting between BRB and Rich.  Surprisingly, Rich is treated with respect (for a change) by this (so-called) “creative” team.  I suppose this appearance is supposed to satisfy us and make us shut up about Marvel’s shabby treatment of the Rider Nova character and the Rider Nova fans?  Nope.  Not gonna happen.  You’re going to have to do much better than that Marvel Editors.

It was nice to see Cosmo again, but of course Duggan can’t resist turning him into a joke character, and, of course, NINO is completely disrespectful to Cosmo.  That’s another of the reasons I just can’t stand the little “idiot” that is the NINO character.  NINO – much like his patrons on Marvel’s editorial staff – simply doesn’t realize how inferior he is not only to his predecessor whose title he usurped, but to all the other cosmic characters with whom he interacts.

The art and coloring in this issue are certainly acceptable, but they aren’t enough to justify investing one red cent in this series.  If you’re a true cosmic fan and a true fan of Rider Nova, the best thing you can do is leave this trash on the shelf.  If we all continue the boycott of Loeb’s/Marvel’s callous insult to true Rider Nova fandom maybe we’ll be rewarded with the phrase, “Final Issue,” smeared across the cover before issue #20 of NINO hits the shelves.  Better no Nova than NINO.

Nix NINO!

As Beta Ray Bill said to NINO, “If you are Nova then you are a disgrace to all those who came before you!”  I could stop writing this review right now and leave it to BRB’s assessment because truer words have never been spoken, and that pretty much sums up not only this issue – but this whole series.  Thank you Mr. Duggan for some rare honesty about NINO on the part of Marvel Comics.  NINO is a disgrace to the uniform and legacy of The Nova Corps.

Duggan continues the NINO trademark of silly, intelligence-insultingly implausible storylines about the inexperienced, untrained idiot, NINO, somehow bumbling his way through situations and even besting a true, highly-experienced, and ultra-powerful hero like BRB.  After you’ve finished joining me in an eye-roll over that astoundingly stupid story element aimed squarely at 8-year-old boys.  Rest your eyes for another eye-roll as NINO’s mother proves once again how unfit she is to parent by sending the minor child, NINO, off to space to risk his life in the company of an alien she’s just met and reacted to with terror.  I guess she’d send NINO over to Neverland Ranch for a sleep over if MJ was still alive. Unbelievable.  Somebody please call Child Protective Services and have her children removed from her custody.  It’s also unbelievable that BRB would invite a minor child to accompany him on a life-threatening combat mission.  BRB is better than that.

But why should any of this surprise us?  It’s not like Brevoort, Alonso, Bendis, and Loeb set out to create a quality product.  They had that with Volume IV and threw it away in favor of this puerile trash.

On the positive side, the art is certainly acceptable and Curiel’s colors are eye-catching.  However, you can find great art plus great writing with other better true cosmic books that actually respect their readers, talk up to their readers, and seek to cultivate their relationship with long-term fans.  I’m talking Invincible or any of the Warlord of Mars books.

Marvel is trying to milk BRB fandom to stop the rapidly falling sales of NINO by guest starring BRB for the next several issues.  Don’t be fooled BRB fans. BRB fans are sure to be disappointed with the shabby treatment given BRB in this book.  One of the variant covers for #16 shows NINO lifting Stormbreaker. As if the little idiot is worthy.  So, BRB fans, show your displeasure and leave this one on the shelf.  Reading it will just piss you off anyway.

It’s clear that Duggan simply needs to go back to writing Deadpool and leave cosmic alone in the future.  In the meantime, he’ll do just fine to usher in the well-deserved end of NINO.  Sales have dropped well under 30K, and New Warriors has debuted to thunderously under-whelming reviews and general indifference.  If we’re lucky, NINO will be gone before issue #20 and NeWINO before issue #10.  Let’s continue the boycott and hasten the little idiot’s demise.

The cover gave me a moment of false hope that NINO would finally get what was coming to him and we’d be mercifully spared any more issues of this ongoing insult to intelligence, plausibility, and the Nova mythos.  Sadly – the annoying little “idiot” survives.

Once again NINO proves to be a disgrace to the Nova uniform and the Nova Corps.  He makes light of the deaths of true Corpsmen – something a true soldier would never do.  He is easily bested by a lame bounty hunter.  He is easily fooled by a pirate/slaver into saving the pirate/slaver from Korbinite justice, and then repairs the pirate/slaver’s ship.  Of course, he skips school to do all of this – and once again his ineffective mother is just fine with that.

I am shaking my head in wonderment at the level of suspension of plausibility that is required for any normal adult to read this book and actually be entertained by it.   It is truly too juvenile and too puerile for most 10-year-olds.  Maybe particularly immature 7-year-olds are dumb enough to enjoy it – but how many of them are buying comic books?  I guess that’s why the latest sales numbers for this rag are well under 30K.

This comic book is proof positive that Earthbound super-hero writers should just stick to writing Earthbound super-hero stories – and leave the writing of cosmic heroes to true science-fiction writers.  That’s right Duggan.  Just go back to writing Deadpool.  Cosmic isn’t your thing.

Let’s talk about some of the particularly asinine weaknesses of the entire NINO concept as perfectly illustrated by this issue.  Some lame bounty hunter just snatches NINO’s helmet off and NINO immediately becomes powerless and helpless.  A Nova is supposed to be a living weapon.  What weapon designer would design a living weapon with such a glaring weakness?   None would.  In fact, in the entire history of Nova mythos, no Nova has been portrayed as being powerless while their helmet was off.  It defeats the entire purpose of having a living weapon to make the power dependent on the helmet.  Other (better) writers recognized that – but not our boy Loeb.  That entire “magic helmet” concept is just another “Lo(e)botomization” (i.e. a dumbing-down or juvenilization) of the Nova concepts and mythos.

Since Xandar is presumably still inactive or stone cold dead in the Loeb/Brevoort/Alonso-perpetrated hack-job on the Nova mythos – on whose authority is NINO acting when he puts on his father’s uniform, usurps powers not granted to him by any authority and goes about enforcing pan-galactic law?   Nobody’s authority of course.  He’s immature, untrained to use powers that could level a city, and irresponsible as lavishly portrayed in this issue where he frustrates the efforts of empowered law enforcers and aids/abets criminals.  I liken it to a 15-year-old putting on his father’s police uniform, strapping on a gun, getting into a patrol car, and driving down the Interstate Highway enforcing the law with the same level of seriousness as he would approach a video game.  Would any responsible adult be just fine with that or would responsible adults put a stop to it?

And what is it with the Marvel/Disney glorification of truancy from school, irresponsible use of vast powers, child soldiering, and irresponsible parenting?  Is that really the message Marvel/Disney is sending to the particularly dumb, immature, and therefore especially impressionable 7-year-olds at whom this comic book is presumably aimed?  Heck – this book is even insulting to the single-moms – portraying them as weak, irresponsible, and ineffective.   Tell me – what responsible parent would encourage a minor child to skip school to travel light-years away from home to risk his life using powers he’s not trained to use?

The only highlights of this waste of time, money, and paper are Medina’s art and Curiel’s colors.  Too bad their efforts are wasted on this NINO tripe.  They deserve better material to highlight their skills.

It makes me angry to know that the mature, effective, powerful, decisive, and heroic true Nova, Rich Rider, was replaced by the immature, ineffective, un-heroic, and “idiotic” (Loeb’s own words) NINO due to the misguided decision of Marvel Editorial staff to try to re-capture the magic of 60’s-era teen Peter Parker.  It isn’t working guys.  It’ll never work.  It isn’t the 60’s anymore and that story concept has been overdone from then to present.  It’s hackneyed.  Falling sales are proving that.  Do the smart thing and Nix NINO!

Somewhere Marv Wolfman is wailing in agony at the hack-job being perpetrated against his original concepts by the travesty that is NINO.  Somewhere DnA are gagging in disgust at the bastardization and dumbing down of their concepts.

It’s hard to know where to start with this train wreck as there’s just so much wrong with it that it boggles the mind.  Let’s just go through it sequentially beginning with the primary cover art.

I have an issue with #10’s cover portraying NINO in a stance of triumph with his foot disrespectfully on the helmet of Rich Rider, a for all intents and purposes “deceased” (via editorial fiat) Corpsman. Since all NINO does is blunder and cheat his way through every situation, at best he should be standing humbly behind ALL of his BETTERS with his head bowed in respect. This cover sums up one of the big problems with NINO, its writers/creator, and especially its so-called “editor.” That is, the lack of respect for the BETTER Nova mythos that preceded it.  The variant cover art is just as bad with Rich Rider being given second class treatment when he appears at all.

Also, the #100 sales gimmick is totally disingenuous.  I count 90 issues of true Nova comic books and 10 issues of Nova In Name Only books.  I’m offended that Marvel Editorial would attempt to conflate the two as Nova Volumes I-IV and Annihilation: Nova belong next to the cosmic classics on the shelves of local comic shops, and NINO deserves to be sandwiched between Archie and Scrooge McDuck in the kiddie section.

This issue of NINO is divided into three separate and truly awful stories.  The first story finishes Wells’ boring, unimaginative, hackneyed arc.  Watchers of the Ultimate Spiderman cartoon will recognize the characterization.  NINO is portrayed as particularly arrogant, ignorant, impulsive, and annoying. In other words, he’s portrayed as the true “idiot” Loeb intended when he misguidedly created this obnoxious character and concept. NINO spends a great deal of this story ignorantly denigrating Rich Rider, The New Warriors, and Rich’s comrades in arms during the Annihilation Campaign while, of course, fawning over The Avengers.  Robbie Baldwin and Vance Astrovik cameo and are portrayed as immature idiots.  Infuriatingly, Rich’s role in The Infinity Gauntlet is denigrated and he’s mis-portrayed as an un-needed second-stringer when in fact he was the only New Warrior chosen to be in the first wave of the strike force against Thanos – and did in fact attack Thanos after Thanos mopped the floor with the vaunted Avengers.  Of course, this sorry excuse for a story ends with a smarmy single mom and son scene so nauseatingly corny that I nearly drained a bottle of Pepto-Bismol for relief.

Pepto-Bismol is no match for the second story.  To tolerate it, I had to break out my finest and most potent Absinthe.  Duggan’s first NINO story carries on the sad tradition of NINO idiocy patented by Loeb and carried on by Wells.  NINO is once again inexplicably involved in kill-or-be-killed combat light years from Earth – but he uses silly video-game terminology to describe and make light of his actions throughout the fight. Meanwhile, his mother proves once and for all that she’s a totally unfit parent as she meets with NINO’s Principal and covers for NINO’s school truancy so he can continue to skip school and participate in kill-or-be-killed combat.  So Marvel Editorial and Disney – are you trying to send a message to the kiddies that playing video games is more important than attending school?  Tell me, if they don’t attend school, how are they going to learn how to read?  Won’t illiteracy negatively impact your bottom line?  That plus glorifying child combatants places your NINO stories in direct conflict with Western Civilization’s values and morals.  How do you justify such reprehensible positions?  Maybe the CCA needs to be revived to look over your shoulders as you’re not doing such a good job of policing yourselves – especially for a book aimed not at the adult audience that can afford to buy comic books, but at the kiddies relying on the adults to fork over money to buy comic books.  Maybe you need to re-examine the demographic you want to reach and then do the smart thing and ditch NINO.

Moving on; the second story begs many questions such as why a “Black Nova” is engaging in police actions usually reserved for “Gold Novas;” who exactly is processing distress calls since the Worldmind is inactive and presumably destroyed, and why does the little idiot go blind at the end of the story when Novas are supposed to have a healing factor?  I can only hope that the blindness is followed by muteness, deafness, and permanent paralysis from the neck down so we can be rid of the little idiot once and for all.  I know it’s a vain hope, but I can indulge a dream of a better world without NINO can’t I?  I think this sorry excuse for a story telegraphs to us what Duggan’s run as writer is going to be like.  In short – more clichés, more dumbing down, more puerile silliness, and continued total disrespect of Nova continuity and established concepts.

Saving the worst for last, Duggan gives us a glimpse of issue #1000 of NINO featuring an adult NINO presiding over his child’s birthday party.  This was truly a disgusting waste of time and paper complete with “art” comparable to that typically found hanging on the refrigerators of parents with pre-school aged children.

Speaking of art, Barberi and Lopez’s art for the first story was barely acceptable, and Medina’s art for the second story was only slightly better.  Medina’s rendering of NINO’s mother in one panel made her so scarily bug-eyed that I had to do a double-take to make sure she wasn’t morphing into some sort of monster.  So even the art – once the only saving grace of this waste of time book – is slipping.  Curiel’s colors are nicely done but aren’t enough to save the day.

Of course, the capstone of the train wreck is insufferable “editor” Stephen Wacker’s letters page.  I rolled my eyes when he disingenuously dedicated this issue to the very fans he so often derides and denigrates in the forum of an un-named but Craven Bootlickingly Repugnant website well known for allowing him to verbally abuse fans but protecting him from the ire of the very fans he has insulted.  Of course, he picks nothing but letters dripping with fawning praise from readers who admit they never read a Nova series before and thus have no basis of comparison.  If they had such a basis, maybe they wouldn’t be so complimentary.  At least the Indie Comic Books have the courage to print dissenting letters in their letters pages.

There was one nice touch – and that was a thumbnail reprinting of all previous Nova series covers from Volume I through Volume IV.  Too bad even that was sullied by the inclusion of NINO covers 1-10.

Marvel Editorial is always quick to dismiss any discontent with NINO as the disgruntled ramblings of a minority of difficult to please fanboys.  Of course, Marvel Editorial is so obsessed with selling formulaic super-heroic fantasy that they truly can’t seem to see how they’ve taken away everything that was good with cosmic and replaced it with street level comic book clichés.  It’s analogous to some insightless executive replacing Star Trek with Lost in Space and then wondering why fans are upset.  And I’m sure some Craven Bootlickingly Repugnant and cosmically Ignorant Gonad-less Ninny websites will fall all over themselves praising the waste of time, money, and paper that is NINO #10 – but those websites have never been able to appreciate well told cosmic tales so their praise should be taken lightly and in that context.  Like Marvel Editorial, those websites are also obsessed with hackneyed “super-heroic fantasy” and can’t appreciate the refreshing difference of super-heroic military science-fiction and science-fantasy that made Marvel Cosmic so special prior to its hijacking and dumbing-down to mundane street-level super-heroic fantasy at the hands of Loeb and Bendis.  We appreciators of true cosmic stories remember how the true Nova – OUR Nova, Rich Rider, was out saving the universe while the vaunted Avengers pettily quarreled amongst themselves in their ridiculous Civil War.  We remember how OUR true Nova, Rich Rider, saved the universe from Thanos and E-Vell; while the vaunted Avengers have made a mess of things in the disappointing Infinity event – an Avengers vehicle thinly disguised as a cosmic story.  And finally, we appreciators of true cosmic stories know that Loeb’s NINO and Bendis’ Garbage of the Galaxy are critical failures and betrayals of the very fans who allowed through their loyal support pre-Loeb/Bendis Marvel Cosmic to evolve into something special and unique among comic books.

This issue reaches a new low. 

Bad enough that NINO’s parents criminally allow a 14-year-old boy to keep the “magic helmet” and actually use vast powers which he is not in any way trained to use, but in this issue his mother encourages him to engage in kill-or-be-killed combat.  Even Vance Astrovik points this out in the course of the story.  As Vance says, it’s a crime to aid and abet a minor in such an activity. 

Is that the message Marvel and Disney really want to be sending to the pre-pubescent crowd at whom this comic book is aimed?

And, of course, in order to “win” the fight with a vastly superior foe, NINO has to dishonorably break his word and cheat.  Pathetic.  The antagonist repeatedly points out that NINO is an embarrassment to the Nova Corps.  I must agree.  All he does is cheat and blunder his way through every situation.  It seems that Wacker, Loeb, Brevoort, Alonso and Bendis are hell-bent on turning the Nova Corps into the “Keystone Cops” of the universe – a slapstick farce of a para-military organization rather than a force to be reckoned with.  It’s sad, really, how misguided Marvel Editorial has become with their re-boot of cosmic.  And of course, they just double-down with their misguidedness: ignoring fan feedback and arrogantly producing a cover for NINO’s next issue that deliberately mocks and insults the long term true Rich Rider Nova fans.

And what’s with this issue’s cover?  It has absolutely nothing to do with anything that happens in the issue.  All it did was get my hopes up for a few seconds that NINO would see his well-deserved demise.  Sadly, he survives and the interesting antagonist is unfairly punished.

Justice and Speedball are so written out of character as to be essentially un-recognizable.  They’ve both been regressed in age, experience, and maturity to slap-sticky characters on par with NINO, and they just stand around and don’t do much of anything but make a silly comment on occasion.  That’s a shame to completely ignore Vance’s maturation from his time with The Avengers and Robbie’s maturation during his time as Penance with the Dark Avengers. 

Once again, Marvel Editorial makes a bad call with the direction in which to take these characters.  This is no doubt a telegraphing of the tone and target audience of the upcoming New Warriors series – silly slapstick aimed at the pre-pubescent crowd.

The art and coloring have been the saving graces of past issues of this waste of a series, but even the art and coloring have begun to slip – resembling the cartoonish style from the Ultimate Spiderman cartoon.  And don’t get me started on the misspells and grammatical errors.  I guess Wacker was too busy insulting and denigrating Rich Rider Nova fans on the message boards to actually proof-read this issue.

If you see this train wreck that is NINO on the shelves of your local comic shop – do yourself, your bank account, and Nova fandom a big favor and leave it there.  Vote with your dollars and send a message to Wacker, Brevoort, Bendis, Alonso and Loeb that you don’t like the hack-job they’ve perpetrated against cosmic.

Medina and Curiel deliver some eye-catching art and coloring in this issue. Too bad their talents are wasted on such a sub-par concept, storyline, and leading character. If you like puerile comic book clichés, slapsticky silliness, and all the awe and wonder of an episode of “Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo” – then you’ll absolutely love issue #8. 

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry when Thanos began his Snidely Whiplash routine. I was just waiting for him to don a handlebar mustache and begin twisting it in glee as he contemplated destroying Dudley Do-Right….er….I mean, NINO. Then, Dudley……..er……I mean, NINO, bumbles through the rest of the issue. My favorite cock-up was his taking off his “magic” helmet in mid-flight and losing his powers in a move worthy of Wily Coyote. I swear, you could substitute Snidely Whiplash for Thanos and Dudley Do-Right (or Wily Coyote) for NINO and this story would read the same. I hoped against hope that he wouldn’t catch that helmet before hitting the ground – but alas, no such luck as the little twerp defies physics once again.

What are the writers/editors trying to accomplish? Making the legacy of the Nova concepts an object of ridicule? They’re succeeding.

The much touted return of “The New Warriors” was also underwhelming as the characterization for Speedball and Justice was totally off the mark. And why would NINO hit someone who is not threatening him? Not very heroic.

I’m definitely rooting for Thanos and his minions to put NINO out of our misery – but sadly I know it’ll never happen. The powers at Marvel are stupidly determined to continue the Lo(e)botomization of the Nova concepts.

There was one bright spot. At least we didn’t have to suffer through another letters page from Carnival Barker…..er….I mean “editor” Wacker. Hey Wacker, make that a habit. You weren’t missed. So once again Wacker et al deliver a puerile, hackneyed, and thoroughly uninteresting issue aimed squarely at the 8-year-old crowd who watch NINO on the USM cartoon. If you’re over the age of 8, don’t bother with this book. It’s not for you. And it’s definitely not for cosmic fans of any age. 

I finally found something to like about NINO! Issue #7 cured my insomnia! Yup; soporific #7 is a cliché-filled snooze-fest. Sadly, it further sullies and denigrates the legacy of the true hero whose name and title were stolen to smear across the cover of this intelligence-insulting excuse for a “cosmic” comic book.

Staying true to his Ultimate Spider-Man cartoon roots, NINO is particularly annoying in this issue as he bumbles from one pointless “adventure” to another. Whether he’s misinterpreting a non-dangerous situation as dangerous or nearly botching another “hero’s” rescue of civilians from harm; he’s written as an ineffective “idiot” (Loeb’s words – not mine) in every sense of the word. I found myself agreeing with Spock’s advice to him to just go home and watch Justin Bieber. No teen screw-up cliché is missed. Just roll your eyes at each one between swigs of Pepto-Bismol.

In the introduction, we’re told that NINO’s mom gave him permission to use his powers. Question: Wouldn’t that constitute child endangerment? Both parents have given a 15-year-old “idiot” permission to use the powers of a Nova Centurion – essentially powers equivalent to a tactical nuclear weapon. Is that responsible parenting? I wouldn’t want the most mature 15-year-old handling tactical nukes – much less an “idiot” like NINO. Anybody got the number for Arizona Child Protective Services? I want to report the Alexander’s so their parental rights can be terminated for sending a minor into kill-or-be-killed combat. Maybe Arizona will confiscate the “magic helmet,” too, and we can be done with NINO forever. When I consider the difference between what we had with the Rich Rider Nova – a powerful, effective hero – and what we have with NINO – a bumbling, ineffective idiot – I just shake my head in disgust.

NINO is an embarrassment to the legacy of the Nova concepts.

Used car salesman…….er………I mean, “editor,” Stephen Wacker, returns to the letters page this month. As usual, he cherry picks and publishes almost exclusively letters of fawning praise sent by persons self-professed as having no prior knowledge of cosmic or of any previous incarnation of Nova. One fawning NINO fan asks about Rich and is told that answers are forthcoming. In response, I invoke the ancient comic book ululation, “Noooooooooooooooooooo!” I don’t want Wacker, Brevoort, Loeb, Bendis, et al, having anything to do with Rich Rider. They’ve proven they don’t understand cosmic, don’t care about the feelings of the fans, and don’t respect the Nova legacy in the slightest. They’re only interested in slinging out “pseudo-cosmic” versions of teen Spiderman and “pseudo-cosmic” Avengers in near Earth orbit in a cynical attempt to entice Spider-zombies and Avengers-zombies to buy NINO and Guardians of the Galaxy. I use the word pseudo-cosmic because the cosmic aspects of their storylines are incidental rather than central – and every storyline is Earthcentric. Substitute teen Peter Parker for NINO and any of the casts from any of the seemingly thousands of Avengers teams for the GotG cast, and the stories would read exactly the same.

As usual, the art and coloring are the only things that keep NINO from being a complete waste of glossy paper for which too many brave trees needlessly sacrificed their lives. Medina and Curiel deliver some eye-catching work. It’s not enough to save this hot mess of a concept though – so save your money and buy good and true cosmic – like the Warlord of Mars series or Invincible.

The Loeb-otomization of the Nova concepts and legacy continues.

This snooze-fest of an issue finds NINO returning from his cameo in AvX. You know – the one where he says he has to ask his mom’s permission to join the Avengers. He asks and she says no. Finally, someone makes a reasonable adult decision about a 14-year-old participating in kill-or-be-killed combat. Or so it seems. Then there’s some boring conversation between NINO and his mom. Then NINO sees his would be girlfriend who thinks he might be NINO. Then NINO has a confrontation with the school bully and doesn’t use his powers even though he wants to use them. Then there’s more boring conversation with the school Principal. Then there’s some pseudo teen rebellion nonsense in response to the Principal. Then there’s more boring conversation with mom where she relents. Then NINO flies off to Long Island to look for trouble. With all the talking heads, clichés, and lack of action – you’d swear Bendis wrote this one. But he didn’t.

Zeb Wells wrote this one, and he made good on his promise to keep up the Loeb-otomization by continuing to write the lead character as an annoying idiot.

I recently read an article where Rich Rider’s Nova was said to be Marvel’s most “identifiable cosmic hero.” I know some would argue Silver Surfer or Captain Marvel, and others Thor, but I would argue that Silver Surfer, Captain Mar-Vell, and Thor are not human. I think it’s more accurate to say Rich Rider’s Nova was Marvel’s most identifiable Human cosmic character, and in his latest iteration he embodied what the fans wanted from such a character – strength, competence, confidence – a “Cosmic Captain America” as it were as leader of the Nova Corps. Instead, Loeb, Brevoort, and Wacker – in a total misread and misunderstanding of cosmic and cosmic fandom – replaced the “Cosmic Captain America” with NINO and a series of silly, cutesy, smarmily sentimental, predictable comic book clichés aimed squarely at the prepubescent crowd. One half-way expects Scooby-Doo and Scrappy-Doo to show up and help NINO solve a mystery.

It’s telling that what garnered the most interest from readers was the Black-Ops Nova Corps. That sort of storyline is the basis for a great deal of popular SF. Cosmic fans grew up with Star Trek and Star Wars. They’re interested in military science-fiction. Of course, the architects got rid of the Black-Ops Novas faster than they did Rich Rider. Hey architects: try listening to the fans for a change. The tanking sales on NINO should be telling you something – and it’s not that it would make a great little Disney movie for the kiddies. Mr. Perlmutter – does Disney really want to send the message that child soldiers are a good idea (especially when the UN is in the process of condemning child combatants as internationally immoral)?

On the up side, Medina’s art is impressive as are Curiel’s colors. The art and colors are the most interesting thing about the book as usual. And Medina’s rendering of NINO makes him look slightly less ridiculous wearing the uniform of a soldier.

What can be said about the letters page that can’t be said of any annoying used car sales pitch on any late night TV commercial? Editor (and I use the term loosely) Stephen Wacker even has the audacity to claim he’s a Rich Rider fan. He certainly has a funny way of showing it when he’s not blowing smoke on the NINO letters page. I remember innumerable instances where he’s posted derogatory comments about Rich Rider and Rich Rider fans at a certain website (that shall remain nameless – wink -) that caters to fawning, undeserved praise of NINO and quashes any dissent.

So save your money on this one guys. It’s really not worth adding to anybody’s collection. You saw this same story with Peter Parker and Flash Thompson back in the day. No need to read it again. If you want that – go back and read Peter Parker and Flash Thompson. Those were better told stories.

At the end of the issue, NINO asks, “Who needs a hero?” The answer is, “We do. And it’s not you, NINO!”

No surprises here. The tragic descent of the Nova concepts and legacy into silly, child-oriented cutesiness continues.

Once again, McGuinness and Gracia deliver a feast for the eyes with magnificent art and coloring.

Once again, Loeb tries to set the record for cramming as many teen superhero clichés as possible into a single comic book.

It literally took me five minutes to read this book in the store, and I can honestly say that the only thing that kept me from being utterly bored by it was my outrage at Loeb’s rape and strangulation of the concepts that made Nova Volume IV and Guardians of the Galaxy Volume II great.

Let’s start with characterization – specifically Gamora and Rocket.  Instead of the sexy, dangerous, impulsive sociopath, Gamora has been reduced to a “Princess Leia” role uncharacteristically urging restraint while muttering something about NINO being “Our last best hope.” Pardon me while I roll my eyes at this hackneyed and – in this case – totally stupid story device. Two of the greatest warriors in the local group pinning all their hopes on a 15-year-old kid Yeah – that’s plausible – if you’re the nine-year-old boy at whom this book is presumably aimed.

Instead of the smart-ass cool tactician, Rocket is reduced to a hot-headed, impulsive, insensitive jerk who starts firing his weapon at a scared, startled child. Pardon me while I sadly shake my head in disgust.

Is this the Gamora and Rocket we knew and grew to admire in Guardians of the Galaxy Volume II?  I think not. Total mischaracterizations of both by a writer who clearly doesn’t care about what the fans really want from Marvel Cosmic? I think so.

And haven’t we seen this “I know what I saw, so why won’t anybody believe me” type scene many times before in other comic books and in movies and cartoons aimed at the pre-pubescent crowd?  What about the “testing out the powers” scene?  Or the flying through the town signpost scene? Or the “throwing away of the helmet and having it boomerang back” scene?  Or the maudlin daddy issues scene?  Like I said – cliché after cliché.

At least issue #1 had the Black-Ops scenes to save it from being totally boring. No such luck with this issue. Between the clichés, the morphing of Gamora/Rocket into generic supporting character roles, and the total un-likeability of the main character; this issue was a real snooze fest. Literally nothing of real interest happened.

I’m also finding that I’m growing to dislike the manga costume (I refuse to call it a uniform) more and more every time I see it. The adults in the Black-Ops Cohort could pull it off – but it looks totally ridiculous on a 15-year-old kid. 

In the last review I said I could at least respect Wacker’s honesty in telling the Rider Nova fans to take a hike if they didn’t like Loeb’s hack-job on the Nova concepts. I take that back now. After spending so much time denigrating and disrespecting the Rider Nova fans on various forums, Wacker now reverses himself in the letters page of this book and tries to glad-hand the Rider Nova fans. His about-face seems less than genuine to me, and I found it to be the most egregious insult yet – as if a “shout-out” is going to change anything.

Too many brave trees gave their lives needlessly for this book. If not for the art it would be a total waste of paper. If you must satisfy your curiosity, just thumb through this book in the shop and put it back on the shelf. It isn’t worth your time and money.

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McGuinness‘ art and Gracia’s coloring are magnificent to behold.