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‘She-Hulk’ Review: Garbage Lazy Writing

As expected, the first episode suffers from a lack of quality writing, with the VFX nothing to write home about.

‘She-Hulk’ Review: Garbage Lazy Writing

Marvel’s She-Hulk: Attorney At Law debuted tonight on the Disney Plus streaming service, and pretty much as expected, it’s full of garbage and lazy writing just like most of the low-budget Marvel and Star Wars shows on Disney Plus.

I live-tweeted my reactions, when off the bat I was shaking my head, as true to what I wrote previously about She-Hulk being woke, Banner’s blood infects She-Hulk in the car accident, whereas in the comics, Banner is forced to give his cousin a blood transfusion to save her life (because, you know, otherwise she would die).

woke She-Hulk
Tatiana Maslany and Mark Ruffalo

She-Hulk is woke

How her origin is woke in the show is that in Kevin Feige’s Phase 4, which is all about diversity, the men can’t do the saving, so Banner can’t be the one to save his cousin who happens to be a female. Instead, the show has his cousin save Banner, and due to that is how she becomes She-Hulk.

So how does she become She-Hulk? During the car accident, she gets cut on her arm, but for some reason, it doesn’t bleed, and for some reason, it’s deep enough where Banner’s blood can magically infect her.

In real life, it’s also the type of wound that would bleed tremendously and would require hospitalization, so if she was bleeding out, obviously the blow would be flowing and none of Banner’s blood would be able to infect her. Well, we can’t have that happen, so they lazily wrote it the way they did. They had to change everything to fit with the woke agenda, which every time, ruins the story.

She-Hulk Mark Ruffalo and Tatiana Maslany
Banner and Jennifer Walters

Banner back as human in lame explanation

Oh, regarding Banner back in human form, he came up with some device that enables him to be human, and the reason they explained that is because he can heal his arm while human, but I guess he can’t while Hulk? How hilarious is that? On Twitter, the explanation I came up with is that since Banner used the Gauntlet as the Hulk, he couldn’t heal, but could as a human. I don’t know. Of course, they went this route to explain She-Hulk’s origin, and matter-of-factly, the writing just sucks and is an insult to the viewer.

Tatiana Maslany She-Hulk
Tatiana Maslany

Men are bad dive bar scene

Next, after she wakes from her first transformation, Jennifer Walters, in her human form, goes to a dive bar. She goes to the bathroom to get cleaned up and is met by a bunch of women who offer to help her out and they happen to use pronouns. Of course. Who doesn’t see what’s coming next? Jen waits outside to be picked up by Banner where, of course, she’s confronted by men who harass and basically threaten her, and she She-Hulks out on them.

She-Hulk Mexico
Banner and She-Hulk in Mexico

She-Hulk in Mexico

From there, Banner takes his cousin to Mexico to do tests and train her (maybe they learned their lesson from Disney Star Wars?) where, of course (I’ve been saying that a lot), she says she’s the better Hulk. Banner even reveals Jen’s own blood fully healed his arm. Imagine that. Hulk also says “bruh” and gets run over by a measly old Jeep. Huh? I told you it was hilarious. Also, due to Feige’s MCU being so vanilla, Banner doesn’t realize why he has an alternate personality while Jen does not. Feige, for whatever reason, has skipped over Banner’s abusive and traumatic past at the hands of his father. Maybe it’s because of the Universal movies or that Feige doesn’t think his MCU audience can handle it. Again, I don’t know.

She-Hulk VFX small and skinny
Disney Plus She-Hulk: Attorney At Law

Hulk vs She-Hulk

So as Hulk continues to train She-Hulk, it’s inevitable they are going to fight, which I thought was done pretty well, and I enjoyed it. However, as they fought and as they interacted and stood next to each other, I found myself thinking that She-Hulk looks too small. She doesn’t look muscular at all, and I know Marvel went against the VFX guys’ recommendations and demanded the VFX team make her smaller, but She-Hulk basically only looks like a more fit and taller version of Tatiana Maslany. The scene where she’s jumping looks terrible and shows how small and skinny (for a Hulk) she looks (see above).

Jameela Jamil as Titania in She-Hulk
Jameela Jamil as Titania

Titania courtroom scene

Jen eventually makes her way back to Los Angeles and her job as a lawyer where she is at court and about to give the jury closing arguments when Titania busts into the courtroom for some reason. Who else was expecting a big fight scene? Sorry, they used up all the episode’s budget for Mexico. Anyway, Jen transforms into She-Hulk, Titania does a flying kick through the air, and She-Hulk one-and-done punches her. Lights out. End of episode. Oh, now the cops can deal with Titania when in a court building full of cops, they couldn’t before. Well, Titania is ko’d, so I guess let’s just hope she doesn’t wake up.

Chris Evans as Captain America
Chris Evans as Captain America

She-Hulk post-credit scene

The episode also has a post-credit scene and it’s pretty funny as it answers the question of whether or not Captain America is a virgin. I was surprised by the answer, to be honest.

She-Hulk Needs better writing

I’ll say I did like Tatiana Maslany a lot, some of the humor, and the tone of the show is good (it’s a comedy), and it was good to see Ruffalo back as the Hulk, but I wish the writers would have just written things better. However, that might be asking a lot as it has been revealed the writers aren’t capable of writing court scenes in a lawyer series titled “Attorney At Law.” Maybe that’s why the court scene was so short? Mind-blowing.

She-Hulk VFX
She-Hulk vs Titania

She-Hulk VFX

So how was the VFX? The Hulk looked pretty good, and at times She-Hulk did as well, but her face looked wonky at times and again, she looks too small for a Hulk. The director revealed that initially Feige basically gave her the green light to make the budget as big as she wanted, but the director revealed (probably Disney) that she was forced to cut scenes involving She-Hulk to save money and told to use the human form of Jen as much as possible to save money. Yeah, in a show called She-Hulk. Makes sense. What happened to the Marvel shows having the same budgets as the movies? I guess this is what happens when you go woke as no one subscribes to Disney Plus and you end up broke. I said this was going to happen back in 2019. And hey, Marvel, pay and treat your VFX artists better.

She-Hulk Sakaaran spaceship
Sakaaran spaceship

Possible spoilers involving the spaceship

On Twitter, we also discussed the spaceship, as Banner revealed it to be Sakaaran in nature, which is the planet he was stuck on in Hulk form for two years during Thor: Ragnarok.

There is a theory that the ship is trying to find the Hulk because he has a kid (a follower of mine pointed out Banner is now a deadbeat dad). In the comics, during “Planet Hulk” (awesome story), the Green Scar Hulk (the most badass version of the Hulk) has a child named Skaar. So the thinking is that Skaar is coming to the MCU. However, I question how could that happen when the Hulk that was stuck on planet Sakaar for two years had the mind of a child (he just learned how to talk and plays with a ball). It’s pretty f’d up when you think about it. The only answer I can come up with is that maybe the Grandmaster somehow took some of the Hulk’s genetics and created the son of Hulk, Skaar. Otherwise, the child Hulk would have had to have sex sometime while on the planet. Good luck explaining that one, Feige.

Child Hulk in Thor: Ragnarok
Child Hulk in Thor: Ragnarok