Comic Book News, Reviews, Articles

Review: Guardians of the Galaxy #18 (Bendis)

Bendis has earned praise writing street-level crime fantasy books – such as Daredevil. He’s unquestionably talented at producing such fare. Sadly, he has no “street cred” as a science-fiction writer. And it shows. It’s what people mean when they say they don’t like the “voice” of this series – especially in comparison to Volume II (you know, the Non-Bendis-Written material upon which the summer’s biggest movie was based).

Volume II soared into the awe and wonder of the cosmos with the Guardians directly – often single-handedly – involved in competently handling universe changing events. With Volume III, Bendis has reduced the Guardians to a marginally competent, third-rate Avengers-lite team; only slightly less obsessively Earthcentric than the actual Avengers and definitely not ready for prime time. He stuffs as many Avengers as possible into the team and has Star-Lord taking marching orders from the Avengers or worrying about what the Avengers will think about his actions. I’m sure at some point he’ll have the Guardians take on Kingpin in Hell’s Kitchen – and probably lose the fight. His conception of the Guardians has them taking on small problems mostly concerning Earth – and barely being able to handle these small problems. Of course, lots don’t like this “voice.” Face it, if not for the movie hype, this book would’ve been cancelled six ssues ago due to lack of interest/sales as nothing much of consequence has happened up to now. Even Brevoort has admitted that sales of this book are primarily due to movie hype.

This issue has been eagerly anticipated by several different factions. Rich Rider fans have hoped it will bring his return to full duty status in the Marvel Universe as the powerful, bad-ass hero he was in Volume IV of the Nova series. NINO fans hope it will be Rich’s death story so as to cement NINO in place once and for all. Neither faction will be satisfied by this issue. It’s just a long lead-in to a larger story arc that only begins to answer the question posed by Gamora at the beginning of the issue: “Where is Nova? What happened to Richard Ryder?” At least Gamora knows who the REAL Nova is. And apparently Bendis has spelling problems. Hey Bendis – it’s spelled R-i-d-e-r.

Unless Bendis uncharacteristically resists the obvious clichés being telegraphed in this issue, this story arc will likely be a gift to the NINO fans who want Rich gone once and for all. Star-Lord appears to be under the influence of a Cosmic Cube trying to protect itself – and (the actual) Nova appears to be getting ready to take the Cube away from him before Thanos can gain possession of it. You can guess what happens next. Particularly with the Revengers set to guest-star next issue.

I will say that this issue is the best issue of the worst GotG series to date. It has more competently performed action than all previous issues combined. And Rich’s brief action sequences and panel time are better than all 20 issues of NINO combined. I also enjoyed seeing Star-Lord back in uniform and actually acting like his Volume II self rather than the 20-something-year-old doofus that he has been morphed into by Bendis. I enjoyed seeing Drax in his intelligent, muscular, tattoo-less, purple-skull-cap-wearing incarnation obsessed with killing Thanos. Thanos himself came across as less menacing/powerful than he should have been. Thanos’ portrayal is the big disappointment in this issue. Thanos plans for all possible contingencies. He should’ve already found several ways to exit the Cancerverse independent of the Cube and harassment from Star-Lord, (the real) Nova, and Drax. He’s pretty much an ineffectual talker at this point.

The art and coloring are outstanding. As always, McGuinness and Ponsor do not disappoint. As is typical, the art is the best feature of Volume III.

So, it’s a mixed bag with Bendis apparently setting up to flip the bird to the Rider fans once again. Hold on – because it’s going to be a rocky ride for the next couple of months as both fan factions invested in the outcome of this storyline engage in some bruising fights in comic book forums.

Advanced Review: Guardians of the Galaxy #18

This independent reporter was invited to interview writer, Brian M. Bendis, in regard to Issue #18 of GotGINO (Guardians of the Galaxy In Name Only). Mr. Bendis insisted that the interview take place at the headquarters of Comic Book Resources. This reporter arrived at CBR at the designated time and was promptly escorted to a room containing a full size replica of the Game of Thrones’ Iron Throne placed high upon a dais with no visible staircase. A bell rang, and CBR’s staff of comic book reviewers and forum moderators rushed into the room to form a human staircase leading up to the throne. Bendis’ Chancellor, the one-eyed hunchback known as Jonah, slowly ascended the human staircase to stand behind and to the right of the throne beside a small table containing a vial. A trumpet sounded, and Bendis rushed in from a side door, rapidly ascended the human staircase, and plopped down upon the throne. He looked at Jonah and nodded affirmatively. Jonah picked up the vial – now clearly seen to be labelled ‘Rogain’ – squirted some of its content into his hands, and began giving Bendis a slow scalp massage. The human staircase of CBR comic book reviewers and CBR forum moderators then dispersed – bowing to Bendis, surrounding the Iron Throne, and hissing at this reporter.

Jonah: [frowning at TL] It is customary to bow in the presence of the Master.

TL: He’s not my master, and my people don’t bow.

Jonah: [strong look of disapproval on his face, yells] You are not among your people now!

TL: Just the same, we don’t bow.

Jonah: [falls to his knees before Bendis] Master! Please allow me to ban this filthy infidel as we do all filthy infidels who refuse to conform to our worship of you and your company! Or, if it please you, allow me to subject him to all the insults regularly directed toward him by all your sycophants who frequent our forums! I beseech thee!

BMB: [waves his had dismissively] Nay. A King must be merciful and forgiving. I grant him Pardon for these and all other offenses against the Crown and the Realm. But pray, Jonah, while kneeling shine my shoes. As always, their luster must exceed that of my head’s luster to draw attention from it. Now send in my fool so that we may begin with some entertainment.

Jonah: [Nods to a guard at the side door. Begins shining shoes. The side door opens and Tom Brevoort runs out holding three juggling pins. He fumbles the pins, trips over his duster and falls to the floor knocking himself out. His funny brown hat falls off and a half-eaten Egg McMuffin rolls from underneath it. The whole room laughs as he is carried back through the door].

TL: [laughing] Thanks, Bendis. That was funny.

BMB: Come back on Wednesday to see my Chief Fool, Wacker, perform.

TL: I may take you up on that. I’d like to begin by asking you a few questions about GotGINO #18. I notice that you don’t make spelling mistakes with headliner characters – so we don’t see mis-spells like ‘Toney Starke’ or ‘Thore’ or ‘Steve Rodgers’ in your books. Yet, you’ve consistently mis-spelled Rich Rider’s name as ‘Ryder.’ Do you have some sort of intermittent dyslexia or do you just not care enough to get it right?

Jonah: [stops shining shoes, jumps to his feet, a look of outrage on his face; the hissing of the CBR forum moderators and comic book reviewers increases in volume to near deafening levels; Jonah points accusatorily at TL and thunderously yells] Hold, peasant! You will NOT question the Master’s infallibility! Guards! Seize the heretic!

BMB: [raises his hand to the approaching guards] Hold! [to the CBR moderators/reviewers] Silence! [to Jonah] Resume polishing. The un-believer has been given an audience, and the ways of his people are different than ours. We shall tolerate his heresy by and by.

Jonah: [shoots TL a look of pure hatred; bows to BMB] Yes, Master. Do you mean for me to polish your shoes or your head?

BMB: My head.

Jonah: [retrieves a chamois cloth from his pocket, sprinkles Rogaine onto it, begins buffing BMB’s head]

TL: In a recent interview, you blame DnA for killing Rich Rider in an apparent attempt to deflect blame for whatever you’re going to do in GotGINO #18. Yet, DnA have been quoted in an interview in which I served as a questioner that they in fact did not kill Rich – just marooned him in the Cancerverse until their book was returned from what was then termed a ‘hiatus.’ Only later did we learn that in Marvel-speak the word ‘hiatus’ meant ‘cancelled’ despite Quesada, and more recently, Marvel Editor Bill Rosemann, saying that Rich’s book had solid sales numbers — as did Volume II of GotG. Care to come clean and admit that Rich’s ‘death’ is just an editorial ret-con to make room for Loeb’s awful NINO, and the garbage that Wacker spouts about sales being responsible for Volume II GotG being cancelled is also a lie? You guys just wanted to cash in on the expected surge in sales for cosmic coming from the Guardians of the Galaxy movie, right?

Jonah: [the hissing of the CBR moderators/reviewers again increases in volume; Jonah whines] Master, how much must we abide? Let me at least ban the infidel heretic.

BMB: Nay. I wilst clearest this matter upest. I say again unto you, heretic, that all is the fault of DnA.

TL: I guess next you’ll be blaming Moon Knight on them.

BMB: [eyes narrow] Just so. DnA told me to write Moon Knight that way. Yeah. That’s right. They made me write Moon Knight that way. Abnett tied me to a chair and Lanning pistol whipped me until I agreed to sign my name to their treatment of Moon Knight. Yeah. That’s the ticket. So, once again, it was DnA’s fault.

TL: And Secret Invasion?

BMB: The fault of DnA.

TL: Of course.

BMB: I do tire of this line of questioning. I much prefer the soft-ball questions and flattery of IGN or CBR. Jonah, show the heretic out.

Jonah: [CBR Moderators/Reviewers form another human staircase; Jonah decends; points to the door] This way, filthy infidel.

TL: [turns to leave; then darkness]

TL: I awoke tied to a chair in a sub-basement of CBR HQ. Other political prisoners were tied up next to me. We were subjected to terrible torture – including power-point presentations of every issue of NINO and GotGINO with commentary from Loeb and Bendis; daily recitations from Brevoort’s Tumblr page; and screenings of every episode of Loeb’s and Wacker’s Ultimate Spiderman, Hulk and the Agents of SMASH, and Avengers cartoons. Just as we were about to give up hope, we were rescued by a Commando Team led by Stingerman, dmills, Kalen Rann, MysterioHelmet, MBond, Sephiroth89, Twinkfist, and NovaSpaceKnightBetaReyX51. To this brave Commando Team, we former political prisoners are forever grateful. Unfortunately, TL’s recordings of this interview were not recovered during the initial rescue. They were recovered at a later time by Bothan Spies. Many Bothan Spies gave their lives to bring you this interview. I hope you enjoyed it. –TL

*Special thanks to MBond for the inspiration for the spelling joke.

Note: This is an article in a series of satirical/parody Opinion-Editorial type articles and reviews of GotGINO and NINO. If you’re a GotGINO, NINO, or Bendis fan; you’re probably not going to like it. So, spare yourself the upset, stop reading right now, and go on over to CBR to read any article heaping un-deserved praise upon NINO, GotGINO, Bendis, etc. You have been warned. Proceed at your own risk of outrage – and don’t whine about it on the forums or on Facebook if this article presents views radically different than yours. You have been warned.

Comic Book News Marvel

Review: NINO Nova #20

Marvel Vice-President, Tom Brevoort, agreed to grant this independent reporter an interview over breakfast under the condition that I pick up the tab. He asked me to meet him at a McDonalds just off Times Square. I entered the restaurant and saw him sitting by himself in a booth wearing his signature brown hat and duster.

TL: Good morning, Mr. Brevoort.

Brevoort: [looks TL up and down] I thought you’d be taller.

TL: I’m 6 feet tall.

Brevoort: [motioning to a restaurant employee approaching with a platter full of Egg McMuffins and hash browns] Pony up, son!

TL: [hands the waitress a credit card] I don’t think I’ve ever spent $80 at a McDonalds before.

Brevoort: [hands TL one Egg McMuffin and one hashbrown; keeps the rest for himself] Really? I have. Regularly.

TL: I’m a little surprised you granted me this interview. I mean, given that we’ve had a pretty contentious set of exchanges in the past.

Brevoort: Wilth, Shceeber culdnt bay tady.

TL: Excuse me?

Brevoort: [swallows mouthful of Egg McMuffin] Well, CBR couldn’t buy today.

TL: Of course.

TL: I just finished reading NINO #20 and I wanted to get your reaction to some of my observations about NINO in general and this issue in particular.

Brevoort: [rolls eyes] Again with the NINO stuff? Really? He’s ‘Nova’ because I made him Nova. There’s no ‘In Name Only’ to it. Take it or leave it. I replaced Rider with Sam; and it’s Sam or nothing.

TL: I know that’s you position, and I’m glad you brought it up because that was going to be one of my questions. He’s never been inducted into the Corps by anyone empowered to do so, he doesn’t report to a higher authority, he’s had no training and is unfamiliar with any pan-galactic law granting the Corps law enforcement authority, he doesn’t live up to the ideals of the Corps, and even after issue #20 it’s not clear whether the so-called ‘Black Novas’ were criminals or eventually officially sanctioned. He’s wearing his dad’s uniform and pretending to be a Nova. How is he anything other than a Nova In Name Only?

Brevoort: You cosmic fans think about stuff too much. Look – we just want to sell books. That’s what we do. It doesn’t have to make sense. The zombies will still buy it. My advice to you and your little cosmic fan friends – just stop thinking and start buying.

TL: In other words, become zombies.

Brevoort: Sure. Whatever. [Drops some McMuffins into the pockets of his duster; puts a McMuffin and a hash brown under his hat].

TL: So now I understand the outfit.

Brevoort: Yeah – the coat has deep pockets for snacks and the hat traps heat to keep one warm for a mid-morning snack later.

TL: What about the child soldier issue then. You say forget logic and just go with it. But, come on. In this issue he skips school, almost dies from poisoning, and destroys the defenses at a military outpost that he should have protected. In fact, why were the defenses activated against him anyway if he’s a real Nova as you claim? Particularly since the computer recognized him as Jesse. Furthermore, isn’t it poor parenting for both of his parents to encourage him to risk his life? Isn’t it a poor example for him to skip school and to be disrespectful to teachers as he has in the past? Aren’t you sending the wrong message to the 8-year-olds at whom this book is presumably aimed?

Brevoort: [slowly finishes a hash brown before answering] Bucky, Mulan, Katness, Arya Stark, Joan of Arc, etc.

TL: Precedents? Your argument is precedents? Just because minors have risked their lives before in fiction and historical fact doesn’t make it morally right in reality or in fiction in the present. And most of those weren’t encouraged to do so by their parents. And presumably you’d like these 8-year-olds at whom this book is aimed to be able to read so they can continue to buy your products – so what’s with the disrespect for school and teachers?

Brevoort: [motions to my untouched hash browns] You gonna eat that?

TL: It’s all yours.

Brevoort: [finishes the hash brown; un-raps another McMuffin] You do know this is fantasy, right?

TL: Of course. But shouldn’t it follow some internal logic? Otherwise, it talks down to the reader. Also, don’t you have a responsibility to send an appropriate message to the young readers you’re trying to capture? Is glorifying using children as soldiers and deprecating education the right message?

Brevoort: It’s selling above cancellation threshold, so the zombies like it well enough. Like I said before…………

TL: Stop thinking and start buying.

Brevoort: [winks] Riiiiiight. On to a more important topic. Have you tried their new Peaches & Cream fried pies?

TL: No. But order away if you like.

Brevoort: [waves at the employees to get their attention; Points at the fried pie rack and puts up 5 fingers]

TL: Sorry, but I have to follow up because that unbridled Capitalism argument just doesn’t cut it. What about the moral implications of using a child as a soldier? You claim NINO is a real Nova just because you say so. If he’s a real Nova, that makes him a soldier. Rich was at least enlistment age when he was deputized. NINO was 14 when he was first sent into battle with minimal training. The entire world is now condemning use of children as combatants and as shields for combatants. Why is Marvel/Disney glorifying it?

Brevoort: Well maybe if this place would hire a few 8-year-olds, I could get my fried pies a little faster. [yells at the front counter] Hey! Where’s my pies?

TL: You can’t be serious.

Brevoort: Like I said……….

TL: Stop thinking, start buying.

Brevoort: [winks] Riiiiight. [snatches a sack full of pies from a McD employee] You don’t want one of these do you?

TL: [hands credit card to McD employee] All yours.

TL: All right. What about the weapon of mass destruction issue? NINO is portrayed as an irresponsible minor. He skips school, is disrespectful to teachers, he’s negligent in babysitting his sister allowing her to put on the ‘magic helmet’ and inadvertently do damage. He’s portrayed as having at least Centurion level powers – essentially, the destructive powers of a tactical nuclear weapon. How is it that all the adults in the Marvel Universe are just fine with him having enough power to level a city – yet being demonstrably irresponsible in its use?

Brevoort: [stares with a mouthful of fried pie] Haff yubn lstning?

TL: Stop thinking, start buying.

Brevoort: [swallows the pie] Right. And speaking of buying, I’m getting a little thirsty. [motions at the shake machine and puts up 2 fingers]

TL: Go for it.

TL: Let’s move on to characterization. In this issue, Rocket is written completely out of character as a thug who beats up a doctor who is only trying to help him. Fans have also been upset by the writing out of character of most of the cosmic characters who have appeared in NINO’s book and in GotGINO. Starstalker was recently written as a cowardly idiot. Spaceknights have been written as buffoons. Cosmo has been written completely out of character every time he has appeared. And don’t get me started on the wreck Bendis has made of the GotG team. Simple question. Why? And don’t tell me, ‘Stop thinking, start buying,’ if you want me to pay for those shakes.

Brevoort: Look. We understand how to sell comic books. You don’t. The zombies aren’t all that imaginative. They have to have someone who’s relatable – you know, like a Norse God, a Billionaire Inventor, a World War II Soldier, a Canadian Guy with a metal skeleton and claws, a smart-ass mercenary who can’t be killed, a human with the powers of a spider, or a guy who turns into a giant green monster when he gets mad. Anybody could relate to them, right? But these space characters – now they are just weird! Totally un-relatable in comparison! I mean, who could relate to a weirdo like Star-Lord? Now – a female version of Thor – that I can relate to in an instant. Who couldn’t? And why would anybody care about anything happening outside the surface of the Earth anyway? We had to dumb down and camp up those weirdo cosmic characters – and also contrive some reason for them to be obsessed with Earth in order to get the zombies interested. In the case of Sam, Loeb just wanted to create a character with a readymade fan base – and we didn’t think there were enough of you Rider fans to make much of a fuss if we replaced Rider. In fact, we didn’t think you’d even notice and that you’d buy it anyway. [motions to the approaching McD employee holding 2 shakes] Now how about those shakes.

TL: [hands the McD employee a credit card] I think you’re under-estimating the intelligence of your readers.

Brevoort: [belly laughs, spurting a mouthful of shake onto the table] That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard all week!

TL: The art used to be the best part of the cosmic books. Lately, it’s taken a turn for the worse. NINO #20’s art was cartoonish.

Brevoort: We have a saying. Why pay for good art when the zombies will buy anything – and then take to the forums and insist the bad art is good! [laughs, shakes his head] Gotta love those zombies.

TL: I must say that I’m feeling more discouraged about the future of cosmic than I did when I walked in the door. In closing, can you give me any hope for a better future?

Brevoort: Absolutely! I have a better future planned beginning tonight!

TL: Really? Can you talk about it?

Brevoort: Of course! It’s ‘all you can eat steak night’ at The Golden Corral! The future is looking pretty good to me right about now. Care to join me tonight to finish this interview? You pick up the tab, of course.

TL: No, thanks. I think we’ve just about covered everything we need to cover.

Note: This continues the series of satirical/parody reviews of Marvel’s so-called Cosmic books.

Comic Book News Marvel

Review: NINO Nova Special #1

I keep thinking NINO (Nova In Name Only) can’t get any worse. And then, NINO defies my expectations and hits a new low point. The NINO “Special” may “specially” occupy the space of worst NINO story to date.

There is not one saving grace in this issue. The art is horrible – amateurishly cartoonish. The coloring is horrible – dull, flat, and washed-out. The writing is insultingly bad – worse than Loeb, Wells, and Duggan combined if you can believe it!

Marvel just can’t stop themselves from destroying everything DnA did to bring quality to cosmic storylines. This time out, they take Monark Starstalker and turn him into a mewling, pathetic little wuss who screws up and has to ask for help from NINO. Really? NINO? Asking for help from NINO? Loeb’s idiot brainchild? Why would anyone ask for help from NINO? Especially a clever and tough android like Starstalker. And then NINO does very little to help. He pretty much just stands around and talks about why he can’t help. And he’s ineffectual in the brief fight. Pathetic.

To top it off, it really isn’t even a cosmic or NINO story – it’s an X-Men and Iron Man story. So, once again, the cosmic characters are sent to the back of the bus, and the superhero headliner characters take over the book.

This issue is proof positive of what I’ve been saying all along about NINO. If you keep buying it – all you’ll get is more NINO, and it will just get worse.

Please save your $4.99 and leave this trash on the shelf. Marvel needs to be punished for this one. In fact, Marvel needs to be punished for producing NINO at all. For those of you still buying NINO, and therefore shoveling more dirt on Rider’s grave, join the rest of us in the boycott. Remove NINO from your pull list, cancel you digital subscription to NINO, boycott the Ultimate Spiderman cartoon and erase it from your DVR’s record list, remove New Warriors from your pull list or digital subscription, and above all – buy no NINO merchandise. A few thousand less in sales and we can be rid of NINO forever.

Nix NINO!

Long live Rich Rider!

Comic Book News

Review: Guardians of the Galaxy #17 (Bendis)

Writer, BMB, graciously consented to an interview with this independent reporter. He was met in his Soho apartment where he was found relaxing in a beanbag chair, smoking Kretek via hookah, and sipping a Dr. Pepper slushie apparently acquired from a local Taco Bell.

TL: I must say that I’m surprised you granted me an interview given my critiques of your work.

BMB: [offers TL a hit from the hookah] Peace pipe dude.

TL: No thanks. Allergic to cloves. But I do appreciate the gesture.

BMB: [Winks and makes the shooter gesture] No prob.

TL: You know, I just finished reading GotG #17 and I have to say that I just don’t resonate with the change in the tone of this series since you took over from DnA.

BMB: [takes a hit from the hookah and a sip of slushie] D-n-A, Shcmee-n-A.

TL: Excuse me?

BMB: Look. You cosmic fans clearly don’t understand the business of comic books. Brevoort has told you that over-and-over. Here’s the skinny. We just want to sell as many books as we can as fast as we can. Period. None of us Architects much cared about cosmic in the past, so we let DnA play by themselves, and they sold a few books. Nothing like the sales of one of our headliners like, say, Avengers or X-Men – but enough to keep a book going for a while. Small potatoes – you know.

TL: And then their material was used as the basis for a major motion picture that was expected to be a big hit.

BMB: [sips the slushie] Right. So us Architects decided we better get on board and ride that tidal wave of cash [mimes water skiing actions] coming from the movie hype. So, Schmee-n-A had to go. Like I said – small potatoes. And it paid off, didn’t it? The movie hype sent sales of the book up, and I got a payday.

TL: Sure – but that doesn’t explain the change in tone. Why un-necessarily deviate so far from the source material? I mean – your portrayal is not even that close to the movie portrayal – so what’s the point? For instance, in #17, Star-Lord gets rescued by an Avenger, is inexplicably worried that the Avengers will be mad at him, processes his daddy issues once again, and once again accomplishes very little in the big scheme of things. This is very different from past continuity when the Guardians didn’t take marching orders from Earth, weren’t overly concerned with Earth, and single-handedly dealt with the big issues.

BMB: [takes a hit from the hookah] Continuity, schmontinuity. Too much is made of continuity among you fans. Sales is what’s important. Sales. Get it? If I throw in as many Avengers as possible, write the book like these third-rate space jamokes are B-team Avengers, and ride that wave of cash from the movie hype (again mimes water skiing actions) – we all get another big payday.

It’s simple really – I just make up a few new curse words for Rocket and try to find him a catchphrase every issue. “Glarkgin” is the new curse word this issue. Brilliant, huh? He says it about 9 times over 4 panels. I thought of that one when I put some gin in my Dr. Pepper slushie while I was eating a Clark bar. Mouthful of gin and Clark bar at the same time equals Clarkgin, right? Then you just science-fiction it up by changing a letter and you get Glarkgin. If I can find a made-up curse word or a catchphrase that catches on; it’s gonna be all over t-shirts and bumper stickers – and there’s another payday. The rest is just a few contrived fights and a bunch of meaningless conversations about little issues. Gotta save the big issues for Avengers and X-Men, you know.

TL: Yeah. That’s what I thought you’d say.

BMB: [Takes hits from the hookah, blows smoke rings, stares into space]

TL: The editing has been lackluster on this book from the start, but with a few notable exceptions; the art has been pretty good. Until this issue, that is. The art was pretty bad this time out.

BMB: Art, schmart. Who cares about the art? We’ll sell thousands if for no other reason than the movie. Marvel Zombies are brand loyalists. They’ll buy anything with the brand on it – regardless of art, regardless of writing. Quality, shmality. Why pay for good art, when the zombies will buy it anyway? It’s all about sales, baby!

TL: Well – at least we agree on the brand loyal thing. What about the editing? I noticed quite a few grammatical errors – and you even spelled Rich Rider’s name wrong at the end.

BMB: Editing, schmediting.

TL: How did I know you’d say that? Seriously – Rider is spelled with an “i” and not a “y.”

BMB: [grins and sips the slushie] So I spelled Dick Rider’s name wrong. So what? He’s history. Loeb’s version is where it’s at, baby! Cha-ching! You know? Out with the old and in with the new. We’ve been busy shoehorning Loeb’s version into everything we possibly can. Hey – Loeb’s gotta eat too, ya know? Can’t have Dickie-boy around stealing attention away from Loeb’s version, right? Just wait till you see the number I do on old Dickie-boy next issue!

TL: And here I was going to apologize for calling you Minister of Hackery for the A-Holes. No apology will be forthcoming now.

BMB: [laughs] Yeah – we all got a laugh about that in the bullpen. The A-Holes, huh? Funny. After next issue, you’ll have to promote me to King of the A-Holes and demote Brevoort to Cardinal of Douche-Baggery.

TL: [winks, makes the shooter gesture] No prob. Is there anything else you’d like to say to the Cosmic fans before we close?

BMB: Well, I don’t normally concern myself with small, vocal minorities like the cosmic fans. That is, other than to just call them small, vocal minorities anytime anybody asks about why they’re so upset with how Loeb and I have treated them. Especially since there is no more “Marvel Cosmic.” I mean – cosmic, shmosmic. It’s all about the Marvel Universe, baby! And by Marvel Universe I mean Earth. Well, just New York City, really. And maybe a few of the boroughs around NYC. I mean, come on – we sell Earthcentric superheroic fantasy stories. Who needs cosmic anyway? Cosmic is just about giving some funny-looking characters some goofy things to do in space and making up a few new words along the way, right? As long as we make it read like Avengers and somehow tie it to NYC, we’re golden, right? Don’t believe me? Just ask Loeb.

(Editor’s note: This continues our series of satirical parody reviews)

Comic Book News Marvel

Nova #19 Review (Duggan)

For those just tuning in, this is the 19^th episode of coverage of the Nova hostage crisis. To update new readers, 19 issues ago, the Nova concepts were taken hostage by a gang of Earthbound terrorists hostile to high quality cosmic storylines, continuity, and characterization. These terrorists refer to themselves as “The A-Holes,” and their stated goals are to subvert cosmic’s underlying concepts, destroy cosmic’s uniqueness, and reduce cosmic to the generic, Earthbound-mediocrity of most super-hero-oriented comic books. Our UK Correspondent recently summed-up the goals of The A-Holes as: “producing a sterilized, diluted mockery of a once great genre.”

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In new developments, Propaganda Minister for the A-Holes, Garry Duggan, delivers yet another absurdly implausible story disrespectful of Nova continuity and established mythos. He once again wrongly centers the source of each Corpsman’s powers in their helmets, impossibly subverts the Worldmind’s control over the Nova Force, and ridiculously portrays all Corpsmen as weak and incompetent – except of course, NINO. He writes Rocket Raccoon out of character as a money-grubbing, trigger-happy, impulsive sociopath. He continues to write NINO’s mother as an idiot unfit to raise children. He ret-cons the fate of Robert Rider and the rest of Rich Rider’s Corpsmen (i.e. implies that they were killed in the Cancerverse battle). And of course, he immorally continues to glorify NINO’s status as a child soldier/combatant. The art/coloring are acceptable but nothing to write home about.

In a coded communication intercepted by the NCSA (National Comics Security Agency), Propaganda Minister Duggan can be heard gleefully reporting to Cliché Minister Brevoort, “Yes sir! Consistent with your orders, we’ve produced yet another issue that only brain-dead zombies could love.” In response, Cliché Minister Brevoort can be heard to cackle in laughter saying, “Excellent! Rather than innovate by creating brand new characters to appeal to children, females and racial minorities, we’ll continue the cowardly and creatively bankrupt policy of hi-jacking the names and powers of established characters and shoehorning new characters with the desired demographics into their roles. It worked with Nova, Ms. Marvel, Captain Marvel, and Ultimate Spiderman; so why not Captain America, Thor, and Iron Man? BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA! The brand-loyal zombies will buy anything!” Schlock Minister Loeb and Hackney Minister Bendis can be heard giggling in the background of this communication. As usual, Mediocrity Minister Alonso is silent and apparently absent from this meeting.

In an uplifting development, resistance to the A-Holes’ hi-jacking of the Nova concepts continues to grow with NINO’s sales steadily falling. Resistance fighters have been shown to be immune to the zombie virus and have discovered a cure for the afflicted zombies. The cure is to starve the problem source, The A-Holes. Leave NINO and NeWINO (New Warriors In Name Only) on the shelf.

Cancel NINO from your pull list. Cancel your DVR’s setting to record Ultimate Spiderman. Buy no NINO merchandise. Be a star! Join the resistance! Nix NINO!

Comic Book News

Review: Guardians of the Galaxy #16 (Bendis)

For those just tuning in, this is the 16^th episode of coverage of the Guardians of the Galaxy hostage crisis. To update new readers, 15 issues ago, the Guardians of the Galaxy were taken hostage by a band of Earthbound terrorists hostile to high quality cosmic storylines, continuity, and characterization. Referred to as the “MMS” (Marvel Mediocrity Squad) by opposition groups, their stated goals are to subvert cosmic’s underlying concepts, destroy cosmic’s uniqueness, and reduce cosmic to the generic, Earthbound-mediocrity of most super-hero-oriented comic books.

From documents leaked by undisclosed high-level sources, our reporters have learned that the NCSA (National Comic-book Security Agency) has produced a Wanted Poster featuring pictures of the terrorists and the until now secret name by which they refer to themselves when they hold clandestine meetings to plot how they will further subvert cosmic. “The A-Holes” – as they refer to themselves – are pictured in this poster soon to be released to all comic book fan sites. These men are considered dangerous to comic book fans as any contact with them may result in a decline in your Intelligence Quotient along with a commensurate reduction from the sterling taste in comic books you may now hold to the basest of pedestrian tastes. Should you encounter any of these men, the NCSA urges you to stop, point at them, and yell “A-Hole!” to alert everyone else in the vicinity. Then you should immediately run in the opposite direction. Under no circumstances should you purchase anything from any of these men.

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New developments in the 16^th episode of the hostage crisis look exactly like old developments. Deus ex machina is used repeatedly; Star-Lord AGAIN (unsuccessfully) tries to process his daddy issues; Avengers are shoe-horned into the storyline at every opportunity; the art/coloring remain the best part of the book; the great powers of the local group of galaxies act like drooling idiots, and the Guardians continue to be reduced to an ineffectual team that doesn’t accomplish much of anything. Ringleader of the hostage takers, Brian Michael Bendis, seems intent on using the hostages in such a manner as to produce an unbearable ennui among the most ardent of cosmic fans as a means of driving them away from cosmic fandom and accomplishing the stated goals of the A-Holes.

Brave resistance fighters have held the line against the A-Holes for 16 issues now and morale remains high as with each issue more fighters join the ranks of the resistance. However, the A-Holes are doubling-down on their attacks against quality cosmic and their collaborators in the comics community are acting to make the hostage crisis the new status quo for cosmic. The ultimate outcome remains in doubt – but never fear. What is done by the A-Holes can later be un-done by a good and truly talented creative team that actually likes and respects cosmic.

Comic Book News

Review: Thomas Alsop #1 (of 8)

An amalgam of mysticism, exorcism and commercialism, Thomas Alsop is one of those books that people try to label into a category that just won’t fit. Not because it can’t be, but because it is so much more than a label could possibly convey!

Thomas Alsop is a book about media sensation, Thomas Alsop, a modern day warlock that does battle against all manner of demonic beings in Manhattan. He is the “Hand of the Island,” a moniker passed down from generation to generation of Alsop’s in their continued quest against the dark. He is also a drunkard, a self glorified “rock star,” a magician, a reality star and blogger. But these labels can only define the character of Thomas Alsop as much as the aforementioned cataloging of the book itself. As a matter of fact, the first page has Thomas even questioning himself as to who he truly is. He is so multi-faceted that even himself has trouble discerning where the real Thomas Alsop lies amid the facade of media hype.

But this book isn’t all about facades and labels. When Thomas meets his great great grandfather, Richard Alsop, in the dreamscape, the book turns to follow the older Alsop’s story in the year 1702. From there we learn about how the family was cursed/blessed with the the “Hand of the Island” power, an innate ability to to see the supernatural world and its denizens. We also relive the pain and emotional suffering that befell Richard Alsop both before and after his abilities were acquired and how something from the past will descend upon his great great grandson’s future.

Chris Miskiewics does an amazing job of fleshing out this first issue. Within its myriad of ideas, there is a single driving force to have these characters connect with the reader at a base level and it absolutely does! Between the exceptional character development, Richard’s stoic resolve and Thomas’ hubris facade, the magic, the mystery, the underlining feeling of eventual bedlam from demonic forces and the absolutely outstanding artwork by Palle Schmidt that helps solidify the overall vibe of the tale — this book has it all!

People are comparing this book to Hellblazer and Dr.Strange, it may have a few mimicking qualities but it can stand tall all on its own without the comparison. You don’t have to be a fan of either one of those books to enjoy Thomas Alsop, you just have to enjoy a damn good story!

Comic Book News

Review: Harbinger #24

This is it! After two years of being manipulated and hunted by Toyo Harada, Peter Stanchek and the Renegades lay all the cards on the table and NOTHING will ever be the same again!

Joshua Dysart has been promising major changes to Harbinger with his current “Death of a Renegade” storyline and he has delivered on all accounts! After last issues shocking death of the team’s sexy fire bird, Flamingo, fans have stood slack-jawed for what would come next. Be fair warned, by the stunning conclusion of this issue, every aspect of the Harbinger series will be completely changed!

In a medium that treats death of characters with as little respect or second thought as a used tissue, Joshua Dysart is one of the few writers that takes the time for the emotional weight to register with his characters. Even amidst the chaos of Peter and Toyo’s epic battle, the individual remorse and regret felt by the rest of the Renegades is what drives this issue past the shackles of the normal “grieving issue” and into something astounding. Dysart takes the time for each character to ponder their own actions during the tragic event, brewing up a maelstrom of emotion that is rarely seen in current comics. From guilt and being overwrought with sadness to deflection and levity, Dysart makes each moment feel real and connects his characters to the reader even more so than he has in the past. That connection and depth of character development is what continually makes Harbinger one of the best reads on the market month after month. You owe it to yourself to grab it as soon as you can!

Destruction on a physical and emotional level awaits you this issue. The teacher and the student will war until the very fabric of the Valiant Universe changes and you will be on the ground floor to witness it! After this issue, I have no idea where Peter Stanchek, the Renegades or even Harada will be — but I truly cannot wait to find out!

Comic Book News Marvel

Review: Nova #18 (Duggan)

Sometimes a reboot of a concept surpasses the original. That was the case for Nova Volume IV. Most times, a reboot is inferior to the original. That is the case with NINO.

The problem is that the major players in the NINO reboot (Alonso, Brevoort, Loeb, Bendis, and now Duggan) never liked, understood, cared about, or bothered to familiarize themselves with cosmic in general or the Nova mythos in particular. Their past and present motivations appear to be to cash in on the expected surge in interest in cosmic once the Guardians of the Galaxy movie premieres and is the blockbuster everyone expects — and, in the case of NINO, to develop a “Spider-man-ish” character for which they own the movie rights. Their lack of understanding and regard for cosmic shows in the decline in quality of cosmic under their leadership. Thankfully, the fans have resisted Marvel’s marketing flim-flam about NINO, and this total mess of a comic book is failing – down to 111^th in sales – with only 22K still buying. I can’t wait to see the words, “Final Issue,” smeared across the cover in the near future. It is way past time for NINO to go away and never be heard tell of again.

The 22K of high-camp, clichéd, teen antic/angst mediocrity lovers still buying NINO will call this the best issue of the series thus far. I agree – it is the best of the worst – but that’s faint praise. Bad concept equals dumb story cover-to-cover. And the lack of regard for Nova mythos is on full display throughout.

Once again, NINO’s mother won’t be winning the “Mother of the Year” award. She encourages her minor children to play with a weapon of mass destruction and stands idly by while NINO flies off to the edge of the universe to face mortal danger. Honestly – I fully expect her to start leaving loaded weapons lying around the house. And in a way she is – since in this silly re-boot of the Nova mythos the powers are stupidly portrayed as emanating from the helmets. She piles up a heap of discarded helmets from fallen Corpsmen in her basement. All that power centered right there won’t attract the attention of any villains and expose her family to further danger, will it? Dumb.

And then the Avengers and Fantastic Four encourage NINO to risk his life fighting Mindless Ones. Is every adult in the Marvel Universe an irresponsible, blithering idiot?

If I had one major criticism of Volume IV, it would’ve been that DnA portrayed Rich as underpowered. Just the opposite with NINO. Duggan portrays NINO as ultra-powered. No way NINO tosses around Mindless Ones like that.

The end scene is especially egregious. Remember that above-mentioned lack of regard for Nova mythos? Jesse is portrayed with a Millennian helmet but wearing a Centurion Uniform (as is the Corpsman he guns down). And since the Worldmind was presumably active at the time of that apparent crime – there’s no way he would get away with it as it would have been recorded in Worldmind archives. Once again, the “creators” and “re-booters” borrow the look and general concepts without any understanding or regard for the history and mythos.

Of course, NINO has an existential angsty teen crisis when it looks like dear old dad is just another criminal thug. And when Iron Man has a chance to be an adult and help – he just makes an off the cuff remark and walks away. Now that’s heroic, isn’t it? Sheesh.

NINO ends by saying he’ll never wear the helmet again. If only that was true. But it isn’t true and the little idiot will be back because Marvel is desperate to throw him in the face of every reader by making him part of every event and giving him special one-shots. And Brevoort, with a straight face, is his typical disingenuous self when he says he gave Rich equivalent marketing hype.

It is now rumored that Rich Rider will make an appearance in the post-credit scene of the Guardians of the Galaxy movie. Think about the resurgence in interest in Thanos after his post-credit scene. He was brought back from the dead in very short order, wasn’t he? So, if this rumor is true, it’s our best chance of getting Rich back and active in the Marvel Cosmic Universe. NINO needs to be gone and forgotten by then – because if he’s still selling, the powers at Marvel will continue with Loeb’s re-boot, and Loeb’s re-boot by Loeb’s own design and admission has no room for Rich Rider. So – if you’re a true Rich Rider fan, the best thing you can do is leave this NINO trash on the shelf at your local comic shop. Cancel NINO from your pull list or digital purchase list. Take Ultimate Spider-Man off the record list of your DVR. Don’t buy New Warriors (in Name Only) because it headlines NINO. A small push is all that’s needed to drive sales further down and hopefully eliminate NINO forever.

Comic Book News Marvel

Review: Original Sin #4 (of 8 )

Tension continues to mount between the rag tag groups of heroes in Jason Aaron’s fantastic murder mystery that is shocking fans!

In this installment, we are given more clues as to who or what may have killed the Watcher but not enough to truly have a cohesive idea of the murderer’s true identity. Aaron has the reader continually switching between the different teams as they slowly come to realize that they have all been pawns in the grand scheme of things. He boils down each character to their core personalities as they hastily make their way through the tale, making each interaction wholly believable, fun and overtly tense. The quick barb Bucky throws at the Punisher is especially harsh yet, brilliant!

Compared to the last few installments of the book, this issue is structured less on the action and more on the subtle clues and personal nuances between the characters. It builds upon Bucky’s role from last issue but never settles on exactly why he took the actions he did. That is perfectly fine with me because nothing reads better than a Jason Aaron mystery tale where “friends” quickly become bitter enemies and enemies become the key to unlocking the ultimate answer!

Aaron uses this issue to focus on what we have already discovered in the series, taking the time to gently build upon that before unleashing another shocker of an ending! It is a great read that showcases lesser profiled characters and proves you don’t need to be in order to make an amazing tale! This is Marvel’s best “event” book in years!

Comic Book News Marvel

Review: Original Sins #1 (of 5)

Warning: Spoilers Dead Ahead!

Riding on the coattails of the fantastic Original Sin story by Jason Aaron, comes this double tale book that flounders even at the attempt at mediocrity.

The “Mighty Marvel Machine” churns out another failed attempt at making money off of its numerous crossover books, but this time it actually has NOTHING to do with the core book it supposedly spawned from! The first story, I use the term story loosely since it was a mere ten pages!, is all about promoting the new Deathlok series coming in October. The only thing that links this tale even remotely with Original Sin is the fact that a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent was nearby when the Watcher’s eye detonated and he saw the secret of who Deathlok really was. Long story short, again ten pages, Deathlok kills the guy!

The second story is about Young Avengers, Hulkling and Prodigy, going to space to retrieve Marvel Boy so that they can stop Marvel Boy’s ex-girlfriend, Exterminatrix, from fighting the Avengers in New York. On the way back to earth they eat pizza and Hulkling shape shifts into Agent Coulson so they can fly back undetected by S.H.I.E.L.D. After we sit through more corny banter between the three heroes, they are attacked by the Hood in an apartment. Original Sin connection? They show Captain America and Exterminatrix fighting via a Smartphone!

I’m all about cross merchandising your product with “big event” scenarios but, please, make it worth the time and money readers dish out on it. This book does nothing to move along the core story or build upon the secrets that are now floating throughout the Marvel U. It is, at its base level, a book that could not stand on its own as a well crafted tale, or tales, and needed the Original Sin banner just to get published. If Marvel is trying to bring in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. watchers in the fold of reading comics by drawing them in with a new Deathlok series, then do a one-shot that is 22 pages about that, not a ten page advertisement for the new book poorly linked to a disastrous tale that has nothing to do with it! And even if you are the world’s largest Young Avengers fan, this story does not deserve your attention. From prose to art, it is just a simple book with nothing to offer.

Do not spend $4 dollars on this book, you will regret every penny of it if you do! ’nuff said!

Comic Book News

Review: The Walking Dead #128

After the shocking time jump last issue, Robert Kirkman lulls us in to a sense of security with a tale that lets readers reconnect with their favorite characters.

This issue is the poster child for “slow burn” storytelling but the manner in which Kirkman tells the tale makes the reader feel comfortable with the fact it isn’t about shock and awe. This is a great “breather” issue in which we get to learn more about Carl, Eugene, Rick, Andrea and the small new cast of characters introduced last issue. Kirkman delves deeper into the inner workings of how Rick’s community works, from bread making to a more precise ammunition crafting process, and we get to see just how far Kirkman’s world has changed.

The subtleties Kirkman weaves into his characters is what drives this issue. Carl’s new hobby/career choice is something I would have never expected from the hard nosed, lethal weapon he was prior to the time jump but it is something that makes me enjoy his character so much more! Eugene’s relationship, or lack there of, with Rosita is equally as shocking and forces Eugene from a character that I never thought I would care for into one I desperately need to know about. Even the diminutive rant from Neegan brought a well earned smile to my face when I thought I could only like him as an extremely over the top maniac. But that is what Kirkman does! He can shock you with big, overwhelming storylines that make you squirm in your seat but he can also write smaller character pieces that draw you to his characters in a way few books can.

So, if you are looking for “walkers” just turn to the middle of the book, but if you are looking for something that has a little more meat on it’s bones, start at the beginning and enjoy until the very end!

Comic Book News

Review: Original Sin #3 (of 8)

Jason Aaron is known for creating some of the best stories on the market today. From Scalped to Thor: God of Thunder, Jason Aaron always brings a sense of awe to his books, something visceral and essential to the characters developing beyond the shackles of their physicality. Original Sin is ramping up to be more of the same style tale Aaron is known for, instead of just another tale of summer super hero mash-ups!

Aaron has his enigmatic teams strewn around the Marvel U. looking for clues, while the Orb unleashes a power that weakens the bonds of friendship all around him. Secrets are revealed to a bevy of characters but not the readers, playing nicely to Marvel’s numerous tie-in issues that are always lying in wait for these crossover events. None the less, friends become foes quite quickly and the questions as to why begin to mount.

This issue will simply blow you away with every panel and by the book’s bloody end, will have you completely shocked! Aaron is pulling no punches with this issue. There are slight reveals as to the identity of the Watcher’s killer, all discreetly embedded within a web of never ending questions, but the sheer brutality of the end sequence is what will have all the fans clamoring with emotion. Aaron laces his tale with plenty of subtle hints and possible red herrings as to whom is truly at the heart of this devious murder spree, and half of the fun is trying to weed out what is fact from fiction. Are there parallels, twins, doppelgangers? Who knows at this point and Deodato’s amazing art doesn’t give us any extra clues about who is TRULY behind it all!

If you are seeking a book that is full of espionage, quirky team-ups, conspiracy theories, brutal murder and above all else, secrets, than this is the perfect book for you! Aaron is writing a modern classic right before your eyes and the Marvel U. will never be the same again!

Comic Book News

Review: Guardians of the Galaxy Trailer #15 (Bendis)

This whole idea that The Avengers have to have one or more representatives on the team at all times is just annoying. What authority do The Avengers have over any other vigilante team – especially one that operates (in theory though not in practice under Bendis) far away from Earth? So now we have Venom on the team and apparently Captain Ms. Marvel will be joining soon. Despite the cover, she won’t be joining this issue. In fact, other than the cover, she makes no appearance – so if you’re buying this issue because of her, you’ll be disappointed.

I’m guessing she’ll be brought in to be the muscle on the team, and she’ll begin by rescuing (eye roll) everyone captured by the great powers of the local group of galaxies. I suppose she and Venom make more sense on the team than Iron Man – but that’s not saying much. Under Bendis, the Guardians (in Name Only) are portrayed as weak, and in his hands will always take a back seat to any Avenger. Never mind that they dealt with Universal threats in the past without the aid of any of Earth’s heroes. Now, they are so weak and incompetent, they have to be rescued by an Avenger who can’t keep sales on her own book above cancellation threshold. It’s sad what this title has become under Bendis.

This issue has its problems – but it is one of the better of the worst. I have a real problem with Rocket begging for his life. That REALLY annoyed me in a very bad way. It’s one of the more egregious out of character moments under Bendis’ typical mangling of the better characterizations of the past. On the other hand, I felt like Drax and Gamora were back in character for a few moments, and the action scenes for Gamora and Star-Lord weren’t bad at all. Though it’s not clear what Groot’s story actually is at this point – it does have potential if Bendis uses it to tell a good Brood tale.

Venom and his faux (Skrull imposter) Avengers team story was expected and predictable – existing purely to pull more Avenger-zombie dollars into this book. You could skip right over that part of the story, and the book would read the same. Bendis is clearly going to use Venom as the gateway character – as if anyone reading this book needs a gateway character. I predict Venom will be about as annoying on the team as Stark was. Really Bendis, the “duck out of water” angle isn’t necessary. We get it that the universe outside of Earth is different. We don’t need a character within the story constantly underlining that obvious point.

As always, the art and coloring are the best parts of this book. Bradshaw, Stewart, and Ponsor deliver on all fronts.

A major motion picture based on DnA’s version of Guardians of the Galaxy will be released in three months. It’s telling that in every interview about the movie, DnA’s version of GotG is mentioned and Bendis’ GotGINO is not mentioned at all – even though Bendis’ GotGINO will be in print at the time of the movie’s release. The MCU decision-makers seem to be deliberately distancing themselves from Bendis’ super-hero-ing up and dumbing-down of the characters and concepts – and who can blame them?

Comic Book News Marvel

Nova #17 Review (Duggan)

In this issue of 1960’s Spiderman Inferiorly Re-packaged………..er……….I mean, NINO, the cover pretty much sums up everything that’s wrong with this book.

Upon seeing the silly, cutesy, child-oriented cover of this book sitting on the shelf of the local comic shop, I immediately realized it was designed to make adults say, “Awwwwww – how cute – they’re playing dress-up” and without thinking buy this trash for their children. Now – if they thought about it – what you’ve got depicted is two irresponsible minor children playing with a weapon of mass destruction and irresponsible parents allowing/encouraging them to do just that. I know – I know – all the zombies will be quick to point out that “it’s not real – just fantasy.” But is that the message you really want your impressionable children picking up from their “fantasy?” And if you’re an adult – don’t you have to go to extraordinary effort to ignore the absurdity and suspend disbelief? Doesn’t that extraordinary effort speak to the quality of the product and render it too puerile for adult consumption? That’s the first thing that made bile begin to rise into my throat.

Then I read the content of the word balloon and sneered because it sums up Marvel’s attitude about this book and the Nova concepts. They refer to the customer as “dummies” (aka “zombies”) and demand that you buy the book or be deprived of GotGINO (Guardians of the Galaxy In Name Only). Not much of a threat there for me. If I owned any of Bendis’ GotGINO, the snaggle-toothed little idiot depicted on the cover would be welcome to come over and rip them up. I just shook my head and let the nausea subside. Brevoort has threatened repeatedly that we either buy NINO or there will be no “Nova” at all – and there is a paraphrase of that attitude in print right there on the cover of this book. Fine. I’ll take no “Nova” at all over NINO any day. I’m not so desperate for a book that has “Nova” smeared across the cover that I’ll accept this trash. But just out of curiosity – I’ve got a few questions for those still buying this crime against the Nova mythos: Do you enjoy being taken for granted? Doesn’t it upset you that Marvel is basically saying to you in print what a certain former Marvel Editor says to you on forums (i.e. “Bitch all you want. I know you’ll still buy every issue”)? Do you like being called “dummies” for buying an inferior product while they laugh and know you’ll buy it anyway? Do you like a business trying to sell you something by making fun of you and insulting your intelligence?

I could stop writing now because the cover really does sum up the entire issue and everything that’s wrong with this book. But – let’s press on anyway.

Once again NINO proves he’s a disgrace to the uniform. First – NINO brings some radioactive material home and irradiates his neighborhood – endangering everyone’s lives. Brilliant, responsible, and heroic? I think not. Then he’s left babysitting his sister and he falls asleep failing to secure the “magic helmet.” Whereupon his sister puts it on, gains the powers and blows a hole in the side of the house. Brilliant, responsible, and heroic? I think not. Then he intervenes in an accident and his actions cause someone’s house to catch fire and burn to the ground. Brilliant, responsible, and heroic? I think not. Idiotic, irresponsible, and foolhardy? I think so.

Further, in a recent interview, Duggan described NINO’s mother as a “soldier’s wife.” He therefore tacitly acknowledges that Jesse and Sam are indeed “super-powered soldiers” and not classic vigilante “superheroes.” The zombies are quick to point to New Mutants, Young Avengers, Robin, Teen Titans, etc. as examples of teen vigilante superheroes – using “precedent” as an argument to justify the morality of NINO’s existence as a child soldier. I would point out that a soldier is not a vigilante. A soldier is recruited according to set criteria and trained in the art and science of combat. A soldier reports to and is empowered by a higher authority. A soldier has a code of conduct, a duty, and a mission to perform – in other words, specified responsibilities. NINO wears the uniform and carries the powers of a Nova Centurion – a living weapon of mass destruction – the backbone of Xandar’s military. However, NINO is a 14-year-old child irresponsibly playing at being a soldier as if playing a video game. NINO has none of the training and commitment to duty of a true soldier. NINO is also repeatedly sent into heavy kill-or-be-killed combat by adults who should know better than to endanger a child. Xandar was never portrayed as a rogue civilization that used child soldiers like Somalian Pirates or Al Qaida. Marvel/Disney is sending a bad message to the kiddies at whom this book is presumably aimed. In a way, they’re glorifying the use of child soldiers in kill-or-be-killed combat. NINO is not only a disgrace to the uniform, his very existence as a child soldier is immoral. Before any zombie shouts, “Bucky!” – his existence as a 15-year-old child soldier was immoral, too. Also – just to preclude the typical zombie arguments in defense of NINO, Rider was 17 (age of military enlistment eligibility in most Western nations) when he got the powers and 18 when he went to war.

Speaking of NINO’s mother – she once again proves that she’s unfit to lead a family. She allows NINO to skip school – sending a message to the kiddies reading the book that school isn’t important. Knowing of NINO’s irresponsibility, she leaves him to babysit and he falls asleep and allows his sister to endanger her life and the lives of others by playing with a weapon of mass destruction. She repeatedly encourages NINO to fly off and endanger his life. What kind of mother does things like this? That is, besides the ones who have files with Child Protective Services? And the Avengers, New Warriors, Beta Ray Bill and others who are age of majority also encourage this? Is every adult in the Marvel 616 an idiot? The zombies will again point out that this “isn’t real.” Yeah zombies – I know that. And will you admit that it’s so “unreal” that it’s absurdly and intelligence-insultingly stupid? Is disrespect for school and teachers the message you want sent to children? Don’t you want your entertainment to talk up to you? Or has the zombie virus totally taken over your brains?

Face it, NINO represents the Justin Bieber-ization of the Nova concepts by a bunch of out-of-touch, middle-aged Marvel writers/editors who mistakenly think they can capture a young audience by re-packaging tired old comic book tropes and dressing them up with things that used to be of interest to 13-15-year-olds (video games, skateboarding, backward caps, slang expressions, etc). Bieber-NINO is a miserable failure as proved by steadily falling sales despite the greatest marketing campaign I’ve ever seen for a new comic character (i.e. cartoon appearances, video game appearances, variant covers, crossovers, merchandise, top artists, popular writers). That should tell you something, Marvel Editors. It should tell you that NINO is a bad concept. It should also tell you that you’ve completely alienated the existing Rider Nova fan base because NINO sells less well than Rider Nova did without all the marketing hype.

Let me spell it out. With NINO you have the right marketing strategy paired with the wrong (and terribly inferior) concept. With Nova Volume IV, you had the wrong marketing strategy (i.e. non-existent) paired with the right (superior) concept. I suppose it’s too much to expect Brevoort and Alonso to actually get something right, but the next step is obvious. Nix Bieber-NINO, keep the marketing strategy, and apply it to a resurrected Volume IV Rider Nova.

I know that will never happen. Bendis has said he’s had the story of Rich’s fate in mind since before NINO was even announced. If that’s true, you can bet he’s not going to treat Rider Nova or his fans kindly. Bendis will no doubt continue the humiliation treatment by definitively killing Rich, or completely de-powering Rich, or villain-izing Rich, or Bieber-izing Rich by revealing that he is really an age-regressed Sam, or bringing Rich back to play second-fiddle to NINO, or revealing that Rich is really the aged and broken-down-drunk-loser, Jesse. What Bendis definitely won’t do is bring Rich back as the mature, powerful, Nova Prime from Volume IV – because that would be too much of a threat to Bieber-NINO – the absurd, immoral trash that Marvel desperately wants to sell. Frankly, I would personally prefer Rich’s fate to remain in doubt until NINO fails and a better writing/editorial team comes along in the future that actually respects the Rider Nova character and his fans. I don’t want Rich brought back to in any way play second-fiddle to NINO. And I’m willing to wait for as long as it takes to have Rich brought back right – because I know that Bendis, Brevoort, and Alonso will just make Rich a NINO, too. Better no Nova than NINO.

Comic Book News

Review: Forever Evil #7 (of 7)

The long awaited conclusion to Forever Evil is here and BIG changes are in store for the DCU! It seems as though we have been waiting “forever” for this issue to hit the stands, but it is well worth the wait!

Geoff Johns has created a tale that will bring long lasting changes to all the corners of the New 52, a feat that has been promised with other crossover events throughout comicdom but never seems to pay off well. Believe me, by the time you turn the final page, you will be gasping for air!

Beginning directly where issue six left off, this issue begins in a rush. It feels that mere seconds pass between the first few pages and the shock of issue six’s conclusion is lost just as quickly as our heroes and villains ready themselves for an even more brutal attack. It is no holds barred as all the pieces fall on the table and Johns entices readers with page after page of devastating battles that culminate in more than just a few deaths. David Finch draws some of his best work and stages the layouts in glorious ways to harness the sheer brutality of each and every fight. Every panel feels like a splash page of ferocity even though there is only a single splash page in the book and it comes at the very end!

Even though Johns is quite generous with the amount of eye popping violence throughout the tale, it is the quieter moments that truly define it. Johns finds the true voice of Lex Luthor in this issue. He is an amalgam and every tiny nuance comes into play. From his brilliant deduction skills to a deep rooted sadness over the loss of “family,” Johns makes him THE best villain in the entire DCU in a single issue. There are instances where you will be left speechless and one that will spark controversy, but all of them culminate in an epic tale that is at the pinnacle of perfection.

I could tell you TONS of spoilers, but that’s not my thing! What I do want is for you to run out, get this book and behold the beginning of a darker world. One where the line between hero and villain has become blurred, where a man who has saved them all may have more than just good intentions up his sleeve. One where Lex Luthor has become greater than he ever was before!

Comic Book News Marvel

Review: Original Sin #2 (of 8)

Jason Aaron brings more questions than answers to his tale of the death of the Watcher, but is that a good thing or just a way to drag this book out for a full eight issues?

The second installment to Jason Aaron and Mike Deodato’s tale, that will “forever change the Marvel Universe,” is completely intriguing. Laced with more than a few occurrences of superhero fisticuffs, this issue weaves in and out of the separate storylines that follow the different teams assembled to find the Watcher’s murderer. Along the way, we find out that from the Moloids to nether realm demons, something or someone has been taking lives for a very long time and they might just be the ones responsible for the death of the Watcher as well. As old villains stick their heads out of the shadows and into the spotlight of the tale, our curiosity peaks, making us ponder about where all of this is going and just how did the numerous machinations Aaron throws at us merge to forge this tale?

Although there are many fronts and just as many plot twists to his story, Jason Aaron harnesses them with precision and has brought a darker voice to the Marvel Universe with this tale. Hinged on the murder of the Watcher, this story is bleak from the start, but the way Aaron gives “life” to the Mindless Ones is overtly creepy and brings the tale to a deeper level. The horrors that these creatures can “see” because they now know sin, is a direct reflection to the loss of innocence and their “awakening” in the world. It gives an underlying level of sadness to these creatures that are used as pawns in the grand scheme of things and now, only wish for their minds to “be quiet” by any means possible. This aspect of the story helps bring a richer quality to it and offsets the levity that usually permeates these types of tales.

This multifaceted tale is building up a great pace with plenty of surprises to keep us at the edge of our seats. Although the big reveal at the end was somewhat of a let down, everything before it has got me baited for whatever comes next!

Comic Book News

Review: The Walking Dead #127

Warning: Spoilers Dead Ahead!

After the controversial ending of Robert Kirkman’s twelve part event, “All Out War,” wrapped up last issue, he sends us all two years into the future and starts “A New Beginning.”

I am not going to lie, seeing characters that I have been following since the very beginning thrust two years into the future was a little jarring. Some of their physical appearances have changed so much it was hard to find their “voice” as I read along, especially Rick’s!

Most comic stories that make dramatic jumps in time are merely for gimmick reasons. It is to foreshadow things to come, bring back a dead character or, worst case scenario, work around a horrible plot that failed commercially. This is not the case with The Walking Dead. Robert Kirkman has progressed the story two years without upsetting the overall tale of the story in any way. It is directly related to the events that happened in “AOW” and even if you haven’t been following TWD for very long, you can follow and enjoy this tale without missing anything. It is crafted to be the perfect stepping stone for those that have never ventured into the world Kirkman has created and still will enthrall ravenous fans with every page!

Kirkman has been promising “BIG” changes to the world of TWD this year and we can finally see what he means with this issue. It is no longer about a group of survivors struggling through the world searching for a safe place to stay and some scraps to eat. Kirkman has officially changed the entire scope of his book to include the rebuilding of civilization itself. There are communities, families, trading, farms, schools and careers all being built and it gives the book an air of hope that has never been felt before. Kirkman adds so many new layers to characters this issue as well. Rick has become the older, wiser leader that exudes strength and hope through his community and has acquired a new way of utilizing both hands! Andrea has grown as the more physical leader of the group and as Rick’s “right hand woman,” makes sure that all is well with construction and roamer corralling. She has also become “mom” to Carl as well. Carl has emerged as the budding teenager, seeking to become his own man, and has begun to ask certain questions a father may find uncomfortable answering. Whom he asks instead, is a great ending that is both shocking and fitting and is sure to be all the buzz at the water cooler tomorrow.

With the introduction of new characters, the future exploration of fan favorites and a new logo to top it all off, this issue was perfect on all levels. It was fascinating to see how the characters progressed not only by themselves but as a community as well. Some may complain about the two year jump and that they want to see how the characters got to this organized world. I say reading two years worth of planting seeds and training people to ride horses does not keep readers interested in your book.

This was an overall great great book for fans and new comers alike, a book that will re-energize Kirkman’s entire franchise!

Comic Book News Marvel

Oped: Nova: The Showdown with Marvel Editorial

The Cosmic Triune

An Opinion-Editorial

Timelord

Nova: The Showdown with Marvel Editorial

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Now is the time for all true Richard Rider Nova fans to come to the aid of their favorite character.

As everyone now knows, Bendis will reveal the fate of Richard Rider in Issue #18 of his GotGINO (Guardians of the Galaxy In Name Only). This development has been met with a great deal of consternation from Rider Nova fans worldwide – and for good reason given Marvel’s treatment of the character and fans of the character over the past two years.

A little background is in order. The Annihilation event and subsequent Nova (Volume IV; 2007-2010) series redefined the Richard Rider character from the teenage Peter Parker-ish inspired iteration originating in Nova (Volume I; 1976-1979) and persisting in slightly modified form over succeeding volumes to a mature, powerful, battle-hardened leader of men. Fans of the character celebrated this major change for the better, and most long-term fans believed that their favorite character had finally actualized the potential they had always longed for but only rarely glimpsed in the character. Writers, Giffen and DnA, had recognized the same potential as the fans and acted to bring it to fresh, stunning and imaginative life; while most prior writers had merely focused on trying to re-create Spiderman. In essence, with the new and improved Richard Rider Nova, we had a Nova for a new generation.

As an interesting aside, I’ve had personal communication with Marv Wolfman, creator of the Rider Nova character, and he indicated to me that he intended to take Rider Nova in the same direction as Giffen/DnA of more mature space-based adventures had his original series not been cancelled. Essentially, the Peter Parker-ish similarities were originally used to sell the idea to Marvel Editorial and to get the comic book buyers of the 1976 era to give the series a try, but he always intended to evolve the character into something better, more mature, and unique for the era. Sadly, Marvel Editorial has not shared such vision for the character and has been determined to keep the character/concept a “One-Trick Pony” – stuck forevermore in “pale imitation of Peter Parker” mode. And that brings us to NINO (Nova In Name Only).

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As we all know, the best and all time fan-favorite Rider Nova iteration, Volume IV, was placed on “hiatus” in 2010 prior to The Thanos Imperative event. Then Marvel EIC, Joe Quesada, stated that sales were not a factor in that decision; so fans naturally assumed that the series would resume after The Thanos Imperative event. So we waited. And we waited some more. And we eventually learned that “hiatus” is apparently “Marvel-speak” for “cancellation.” We then learned that Jeph Loeb had hijacked the Nova concepts and was replacing Rider with an obnoxious 13-year-old teen Peter-Parker-ish personality/storyline. In other words, Loeb was back-stepping to the old clichés we’d finally overcome – in essence creating a “Nova” (In Name Only) for a past generation by once again re-packaging Spiderman, and in ultimate disrespect of the loyalty of the Rider Nova fans, he believed we’d buy anything with the word, “Nova,” smeared across the cover of the book.

Marvel Editorial was complicit in the disrespect of the loyalty of the Rider Nova fans; suddenly declaring Rider “dead” (though the same treatment didn’t apply to Thanos, Drax, and Star-Lord since they were going to be in a movie soon) and therefore in need of a “replacement” even though Volume IV writers, DnA, had clearly stated in several interviews that Rider was merely temporarily “marooned” in the Cancerverse. In an insincere attempt to assuage outraged Rider fans, Marvel EIC, Axel Alonso, said he expected the Rider Nova fans to “embrace” NINO and then faux-canonized Rider’s now ret-conned “death” as something too special to undo. Yeah – right. Somehow Rider’s “death” was too special but Thanos’, Star-Lord’s, and Drax’s same story/same cause/same event/same “death” wasn’t quite so special? Hey Alonso – disingenuous much?

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I coined the protest term, NINO (Nova In Name Only), to set Loeb’s version apart from all other versions of true Rider Nova comic books. We’ve now been afflicted with 16 cliché-filled issues of NINO sullying the concepts – all of them ranging from bottom-of-the-barrel to mediocre in quality. Despite tons of marketing hype (that Volume IV never received) and numerous variant covers (featuring Deadpool of course), publicly available sales figures have ranged from nearly equivalent to less than Rider’s Volume IV sales – so Marvel Editorial, where’s the beef? Where’s the proof that NINO is a better concept? You’ve got none. Despite your best efforts, NINO is a failure – critically and financially. And when fans point that out, they are immediately attacked by one or more Marvel Editors (you know who I’m talking about).

So now Bendis is poised to tell us Rider’s fate. Given his driving of GotGINO into the ground, I’ve previously described looking forward to his take about as much as I’d look forward to root canal surgery. Many theories have been floated as to which comic book cliché Bendis will choose to explain Rider’s death. Some believe Bendis will just flat out kill Rider as a means to solidify NINO in place as the goofy teen Lone Ranger “idiot” (Loeb’s own description of his own character) that Marvel Editorial seems to desperately want to sell. Another theory is that Star-Lord was forced to kill Rich to escape the Cancerverse. Others have posited that Bendis will give Rich the Parallax treatment and turn him into a Shuma-Gorath-possessed villain before killing him as a means to formally hand the torch to NINO. Another theory is that Thanos absorbed Rich’s powers and if Rich returns at all he’ll be de-powered. Still others think that Jesse Alexander and/or Sam Alexander are time/alternate-universe-displaced versions of Rich. There are probably many more clichés I’ve failed to mention. But so far, few believe that Rich will be brought back into the 616 to take his rightful place as the mature, powerful, Nova-Prime as that would be too much of a threat to the NINO that Marvel desperately wants to sell; even though NINO has been soundly rejected by most of Rider Nova fandom.

What I find most disturbing is the passive complacency many fans exhibit – acting as if there is nothing that can be done to affect the outcome of this process. Might I remind you that Joe Quesada encouraged us to vote with our dollars? It’s very simple. If you want Rich back, stop buying NINO and send an email to Marvel telling them why you’re not buying NINO and why you want Rich back in his rightful place as Nova Prime. Encourage all your friends to do the same.

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As far as I’m concerned, the only acceptable outcomes for GotGINO #18’s story of what happened to Rich Rider is for Rider to be returned to the 616 as Nova Prime intent on re-building Xandar and The Nova Corps or for Rider to be left alive marooned in the Cancerverse as a freedom-fighter for a better writing/editorial team in the future to bring back to the 616 once NINO inevitably and deservedly completely fails and is cancelled.

Let’s get organized and begin a showdown with Marvel Editorial. Let’s make a pledge to kill NINO if Marvel kills, de-powers, or uses one of the other clichés mentioned above to marginalize Rich Rider.

What do I mean by “kill NINO?” NINO is teetering on the edge of cancellation already – and NeWINO (New Warriors In Name Only) featuring NINO as the headliner character premiered to cancellation threshold sales. It would just take a small push to end NINO and NeWINO.

If all the true Rider Nova fans still buying NINO and NeWINO in vain hope of Rider’s return to Volume IV-era glory are once again disappointed and disrespected by Bendis’/Marvel Editorial’s upcoming explanation of Rider’s fate, and they would simply join the rest of us in boycotting NINO and NeWINO, then NINO and NeWINO would be pushed into cancellation and Marvel would reap just punishment for disrespecting us and our favorite character. With the most recent issues of NINO and NeWINO only selling 22K and 23K, respectively, a few thousand less buyers and both are done.

It’s a very simple message to Marvel Editorial: You allow Bendis to kill or otherwise marginalize Rich Rider, and we kill NINO and every other book in which NINO appears. We also boycott all NINO merchandise and boycott the Ultimate Spiderman cartoon and the rumored upcoming GotG cartoon if it features NINO. Better no Nova than NINO.

Hey – we’re just doing what Joe Quesada said and voting with our dollars. We have the numbers to deal the death strike to NINO and GotGINO if Marvel once again disappoints us. I say we use our power to maximum advantage.

Nix NINO! Long live Rich Rider!

DISCUSS THIS IN THE COSMIC BOOK NEWS FORUMS

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Comic Book News

Review: Original Sin #1

Marvel’s next “World Changing Event” crossover is here, and whether it will truly live up to the mass amount of hype remains to be seen as this debut issue lumbers along through the motions without stirring up the overhanded “shock and awe” needed to pique a readers interest.

In a market that over floods itself with its own “leaked” information in order to drive interest in a book, we finally see how overexposure of key plot devices can harm an overall well constructed story. Jason Aaron’s tale of the murder and mutilation of the Watcher suffers from the fact that fans knew what to expect months ago. The essential shocking reveal, so desperately needed to drive the story, is lost in the mix and feels like just another page to be turned in order to see what’s next. Some may argue that the death of the Watcher is not the most important piece in Aaron’s tale, but rather, who did it and why they did it is more essential overall. Although those questions are what drives the story forward into the multitude of books to follow, it still felt as though the emotional impact was lost.

Jason Aaron’s story is still a well thought out “mystery play” that solidifies itself by interweaving subtle character moments and grandiose action sequences into a single intriguing tale. From Cap, Wolvie, Fury and Widow’s unique “meat night” sequence to the ominous Mindless One’s use of the Ultimate Nullifier, Aaron creates thought provoking character interaction that is top notch. The commingling of unlikely heroes, Punisher and Dr.Strange or Ant-Man, Black Panther and Emma Frost, takes this story from just another “Avenger themed” crossover into a multi-faceted exercise in character development that is usually lost in Marvel’s “event” books. Aaron’s choice of character grouping seems to solidify all facets of the Marvel U. and also brings a sense of fun to the pages, an almost whimsically classic feel amidst such dark parameters of the tale itself.

Mike Deodato’s art is well done and hits all the key notes on cue, although some panels seem to become muddied and facial expressions become lost when the characters are not in costume; it is well done overall. Deodato’s overall tone and thick shadowing are harmonious with the mood and scope of Aaron’s tale and help elevate it too a deeper level of intrigue.

Overall, Original Sin is a good opening number and sets the stage for what is to come. I only wish that we didn’t know so much about the overall concept prior to release. It would have been exponentially more wonderful to be surprised by the death of such a classic character if we all hadn’t already known his fate.

Comic Book News Marvel

Review: The Amazing Spider-Man #1

Spinning directly out of his best selling book Superior Spiderman, Dan Slott, puts Peter Parker back in the tights and unleashes enough hilarity and intrigue to satiate any Spidey fan!

Dan Slott has been both scathed and praised for his tale of Dr. Octopus as the Superior Spiderman. Personally, I was in awe of the way Slott created a story revolving around one of Spidey’s greatest villains, one that both destroyed and exponentially enhanced Peter Parker’s life simultaneously. From that very first issue, I pondered the possible outcomes and how Slott would hopefully make Peter’s return one that would be wrought with challenges he never saw coming. Today, all those thoughts come true as Peter emerges into a world he never created but now has to deal with.

Dan Slott writes a tightrope of a tale, balancing between the two things that make Spider-Man work — humor and consequence. From page one, Slott, makes an opening sequence that will shock you, one that will have lasting ramifications for years to come and will start a fresh controversy all over again! From there we are immediately thrust into an all out action sequence rife with comically infused banter that Spidey fans have been missing. The humor goes over the top (“spidey skivvies” anyone) before we are jettisoned into a press conference regarding Peter’s role at Parker Industries. Slott continues this pattern of humor and intrigue throughout the remainder of the first story, and we are left with a scene between Peter and Anna Maria Marconi that will change their relationship forever.

From there we are given small vignettes from Chris Yost, Peter David, Joe Caramagna, and Christos Gage, as well as Slott again, that hit on particular characters that will be stirring things up for ol‘ Peter in the new series and beyond. With a multitude of artists in tow, these writers give us tantalizing tales about Kaine, Black Cat, Electro, and someone new, that show just how Spider-Man has changed their lives whether it was Doc Ock or Peter behind the mask. The build-up is intense, and it will leave you clamoring for more!

Overall, this was a great read that gives you all out action, amazing art by Humberto Ramos, plenty of hijinks and of course, the always needed — screaming of J. Jonah Jameson!

Slott has begun a new era of Spidey tales in classic fashion and fans will be delighted by every page!

Comic Book News Marvel

Review: Original Sin #0

I see Brevoort is listed as editor of this mini. Of course, he isn’t going to miss a chance to promote NINO (Nova In Name Only). He actually believes NINO is the best embodiment of the Nova concepts. As usual, he’s dead wrong.

Waid delivers an interesting tale about the background of The Watchers, borrowing heavily from Star Trek’s Prime Directive mythos and the mythos of other SF efforts about the dangers of advanced civilizations interfering in the natural evolution of primitive civilizations. In a way it is well-treaded ground both in the history of SF and in the history of Western Civilization on Earth. However, it does kind of give a foundation to the reason for what the Watchers do. Hardly as groundbreaking as some reviews would suggest, but not silly or completely implausible either.

The real weakness of this story is NINO. I realize NINO is only present in this story to try to reverse the flagging sales on his own book, and that Waid is using NINO as the gateway character for the reader to gaze in “wide-eyed wonderment” into the awe and majesty of the Watcher’s technology and mission. And he uses NINO to provide some energy and drama for this otherwise downbeat and introspective story via NINO’s teen antics/dialogue and his family problems.

Frankly, I would’ve preferred a more fleshed-out story focusing on The Watchers without the addition of NINO into the mix. As usual, NINO’s annoyance factors and implausibility factors vastly outweigh his entertainment value. NINO’s wide-eyed wonderment, teen antics, teen dialogue, and contrived family drama were hackneyed right out of the gate and have only become more annoying and hackneyed with the passage of time. The Avengers actually approving his actions sets off all my implausibility alarms. This is not the best embodiment of the Nova concepts, Mr. Brevoort. This is an inferior re-tread of what Wolfman did back in the 70’s. NINO isn’t innovative, interesting, or entertaining.

Turning now to the art and coloring, I’m happy to say that the art and coloring for this book are truly eye-pleasing. I especially enjoyed the manner in which the alternate universes monitored by the Watcher were portrayed.

In short, Original Sin #0 was a mildly interesting though hardly innovative explanation of the motivations and history of The Watchers. Sadly, it was sullied by the completely un-necessary addition of the annoying NINO character. Supposedly this mini and its tie-ins will explain the fate of the Earth’s true Nova, Rich Rider. With Brevoort and Bendis handling it, I’d say there’s cause for all true Rider Nova fans to be worried. It’s a foregone conclusion that with Brevoort’s and Bendis’ involvement, Rider’s return will be un-satisfying to his fans and Rider’s fate will follow some typical comic book cliché. I’m guessing he’ll either be brought back as a Shuma-Gorath possessed villain, be heroically killed off for good to solidify NINO in place, and/or it will be revealed that NINO/Jesse are really time and alternate-universe displaced versions of Rich. Any of those cliché’s sound good to you Rider Nova fans? Me neither.

Comic Book News Marvel

Review: Guardians Of The Galaxy #14 (Abnett, Lanning, Bendis)

In the Bendis-written portion of this issue of Avengers Re-packaged…..er…..I mean, GotGINO (Guardians of the Galaxy In Name Only), we drop in on a bored, horny, lovelorn Star-Lord lying in his bunk lost in a pity-party over his love life and letting his entire world fall apart around him. Tell me Star-Lord fans, does this sound like the Peter Quill you know and admire? Never let it be said that Bendis lets continuity, consistent characterization, or (especially) plausibility get in his way.

It gets worse.

Quill is fantasizing about Kitty Pryde who would be about half his age if Marvel hadn’t somehow regressed Quill in age from his late 30’s-early 40’s to 21. Now this has to be one of the dumbest hook-ups in comic book history, and obviously done purely to try to capture some X-zombie dollars. Anyway – his self-indulgent negligence allows daddy’s Imperial forces to capture him, Rocket, and Groot, which paves the way for Bendis to again pull out the hackneyed daddy issues and have Quill and Jason tell each other how disappointed they are in each other. Yawn.

Venom is shoe-horned onto the team with no real explanation in an obvious attempt to capture some Spider-zombie dollars. Drax is way too easily captured by the Shi’Ar. Gamora is – again – way too easily bested by the lame bounty hunter who bested her a few issues back. And then Captain Ms. Marvel is shoe-horned onto the team in an obvious attempt to capture some Avengers-zombie dollars. I’ll say this much for Bendis, he doesn’t miss a chance to capitalize on the zombie virus. He’s already hit the Avengers-virus (multiple times), the Spider-virus, and the X-virus (multiple times). What’s next? Deadpool, Wolverine, The Thing, or one of the Hulk family on the team? I’d bet good money on it.

The Bendis portion of this faux-100^th-issue-Anniversary of GotGINO is a disjointed mess that accomplishes exactly what Alonso and Brevoort set out to accomplish. When they say there is no more Marvel Cosmic – only the Marvel Universe – they mean that everything must be reduced to Earth-centric, street-level dramatic, derivative super-heroic fantasy. Congratulations Bendis and Bonso (Axel Alonso and Tom Brevoort) – you’ve succeeded in removing everything that was unique and special about Marvel Cosmic – and replaced it with forgettable, generic tripe.

The Lanning-written portion of this issue is probably the highlight. It chronicles young Groot’s early childhood and escape from Planet X. It is cleverly written and entertaining, but is quite brief.

Abnett’s portion is essentially a brief introduction to the original Guardians of the Galaxy for those unfamiliar with the original team. The story is just a little skirmish to introduce the freedom fighters to those unfamiliar with Guardians of the Galaxy history. It was great to see Major Victory and his team once again, but for those of us familiar with that version of the team, it felt un-necessary. Perhaps if Abnett had been given much more space and freedom to write, we would have gotten a real adventure featuring the classic team, and that would’ve been quite welcome.

When I say Abnett’s and Lanning’s portions are brief – I do mean brief – as in over in a few pages. Apparently, the editors wouldn’t let Lanning or Abnett near the team concept of this book for (realistic) fear of them overshadowing Bendis. So they were stuck with doing brief background on one character or on the history of the original concept.

The art and coloring are certainly acceptable across all three stories, but there’s really little else to be said about that aspect of this book. It’s nothing about which to either rave or complain.

In summary, the Lanning and Abnett portions vastly overshadowed Bendis’ phoned-in effort, but their portions were way too brief and editorially constrained. Even Abnett and Lanning can’t turn this book around from the nose-dive into the ground course set by Bendis and Bonso. Save your money and leave this one on the shelf.

Comic Book News

Review: The Walking Dead #126

Warning: Spoilers Dead Ahead!

The pace has been fast and unrelenting, but Robert Kirkman’s twelve chapter tale, “All Out War,” has wrapped up and it may leave some readers scratching their heads.

With all great stories, there comes a time when the characters we know and love, evolve beyond the meager confines they began with. They stretch and grow and become multifaceted, pushing readers to evolve with them and to see if the reader’s empathy can withstand the change.

Without a doubt, there will be fans debating the final outcome of Kirkman’s tale with a multitude of pros and cons. This issue was brutal for some of the characters – poor Rick – and life changing for others – poor Negan – but all in all, it wrapped up a fantastic tale in a way that fans won’t see coming. I for one, think that it was a great move not to have the finale wrap up with a slaughter of poignant characters just to bring a moment of shock and awe. Some may complain that the ends didn’t justify the means, and they may be right to a point, but the end Kirkman gave makes way for so much more.

After last issues shocking conclusion, Rick stabbing Negan in the neck, fans were pouncing on the chance to see either Rick or Negan, or both, die in this issue. Sadly, none of that occurs, but with the lack of death comes an even bigger story that will broaden the world of The Walking Dead far beyond mere slaughter. Kirkman gives Rick a chance to become a true leader of a people far greater than he has ever known before. He takes Rick out of the confines of just a guy trying to hack his way through the world and sets him up to become a patriarch of a new world — a better world, where the concept of “us” versus “them” can be boiled down to the lowest denominator of “living” versus “dead.”

Kirkman has laid out a grander scheme for things to come; one still filled with action and intensity, but also with a broader purpose than “just getting by.” It is a new era for Kirkman and his band of misfit survivors, one that will have fans crying foul for not killing Negan, but also will have them chomping at the bit to see what comes next!

Comic Book News Marvel

Review: Nova #16 (Duggan)

You know those vinyl stickers you see on the rear windows of trucks? The ones of Calvin taking a whiz on something the driver of the vehicle holds in disdain? I think Brevoort and Alonso (hereinafter referred to as “Bonso”) must each have one of those stuck on the rear windows of their vehicles with Calvin’s target being the word, “Cosmic.”

I never thought I’d be thinking of Quesada’s tenure as “The Good Old Days,” but at least he admitted that he didn’t like or understand Cosmic. Then he had enough true leadership skills to give the fans what they wanted by getting out of the way and letting truly talented Cosmic writers create what became Marvel’s penultimate modern Cosmic universe. Then along came Bonso and in a textbook demonstration of bad leadership, Bonso decided to “fix” what wasn’t broken. In creatively bankrupt fashion, Bonso re-packaged The Avengers and Spiderman to give us the atrocious GotGINO (Guardians of the Galaxy In Name Only) and NINO (Nova In Name Only), respectively. Seriously, Brevoort has said many times that in his opinion Nova was “coolest” as a goofy, teenaged, Lone Ranger-type flying around on Earth spouting one-liners and that the Nova Corps “wasn’t cool.” Pretty much sounds like every issue of NINO doesn’t it? You want to know who to blame for NINO? Blame Bonso.

NINO #16 is embarrassingly bad cover-to-cover. That’s why sales of this series are deservedly low and falling fast.

When I say, “bad cover-to-cover,” I mean it literally. Beginning with the cover, we see NINO lifting Stormbreaker as if the little idiot is the least bit worthy of accomplishing such a feat. The Beta Ray Bill fans should be offended – and I hope they respond by boycotting this issue and this series. Everything NINO does proves he’s not worthy of his uniform or to lift Stormbreaker. He treats life and death issues with all the seriousness of a video game. He makes stupid mistakes that hurt and endanger people. He has no respect for education or his elders. The little idiot rides a skateboard around his little cow town and has no real fighting skills when he’s out of uniform. What makes this so “cool,” Bonso? I don’t see it. It sounds lame. It is lame. You’re out of touch, Bonso. Get out of the way and take Bendis, Loeb, and Duggan with you. Cancel NINO. Then let truly talented cosmic writers resurrect the better cosmic that existed before you came along.

It gets worse.

Inside the issue, Duggan produces a plot and dialogue worthy of a Saturday morning cartoon aimed at 5-year-olds. NINO unbelievably bests a more experienced and better armed opponent; then screws up in disarming him. Dumb. Implausible. He then “High-5’s” BRB (eye roll). Then he tracks down the lame, hen-pecked bounty hunter who easily bested him a few (sad and atrocious) issues ago, has a totally uninteresting negotiation session with him, and then in sexist fashion both NINO and the bounty hunter are shown shaking in their boots in reaction to the bounty hunter’s shrewish wife. So where’d you get that sexist plot element, Duggan? Perhaps a late 1950’s or early 1960’s network situation comedy? How original of you.

The art and coloring have long been the only saving graces of NINO. They’re certainly acceptable, but nothing to rave about by any stretch.

In short, the only saving grace of this book is that it takes about 5 torturous minutes to read. At least the pain is over quickly.

I did like one single line in this issue. Cosmo has had enough of NINO’s idiocy and says, “I miss the old Nova.” So do I, Cosmo. So do all of us long-term fans of the one and only true human Nova, Rich Rider. Nix NINO! Bring back Rich Rider and The Nova Corps!

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Review: Guardians of the Galaxy Prelude Infinite Comic

Rejoice my friends and all hail the antithesis of Bendis!

Hey Bendis – you paying attention? Ignore all the Marvel hype about you and attend DnA’s master class about how to write a good cosmic comic book. Same to you, Brevoort and Alonso (hereinafter referred to as “Bonso“).

Mind you – this is not the Gamora from Guardians of the Galaxy Volume II. Nor is it any other Gamora comic book incarnation – especially (Blessedly! Thankfully!) not the Bendis-fied cardboard cut-out GotGINO version of Gamora wearing the trademark GotGINO cheap Japanese anime “costume.” This is the Marvel Cinematic Universe version of Gamora, and for the first time since Bonso decided to fire DnA for DnA’s success in creating an innovative new property that defined itself by defying super-hero cliches, I feel like we have a Gamora that is finally back in recognizable character. If this book is any indication of the quality of the upcoming Guardians of the Galaxy movie, we have a great deal to look forward to when the movie is released this fall.

DnA’s Guardians of the Galaxy was basically a science-fiction version of The Dirty Dozen. It was para-military science-fiction which respected the characters, gave each a defining role and voice, and took the subject matter seriously. The characters were not meta-humans, but were instead characters who possessed abilities greater than those of humans because of having evolved on planets other than Earth. In other words, it was respectable science-fiction, and while it represented a change for the characters/concept – it was a change for the better. In contrast, Bendis and Bonso deliberately decided to simultaneously super-hero up and dumb down the team. GotGINO abounds with super-hero team cliches, the characters have lost their defining roles/voices and have been reduced to generic and interchangeable roles/voices just like any Avengers or X team you care to name, and perhaps most egregiously – the entire concept has been reduced to the level of farce with Rocket and Groot just around to shout catch-phrases, make lame jokes, and perform “zany antics” which would be right at home in any Looney Tunes cartoon. DnA created a powerful team full of interesting characters who were capable of addressing universal threats. Bendis and Bonso reduced said team to a sad, 3rd-rate, Avengers-wanna-be team that is a shadow of its former self and deliberately portrayed as weaker than and subordinate to any of the (way too many) Avengers or X Teams you care to name. DnA talked up to their readers. Bendis and Bonso talk down to theirs. DnA’s version was a change for the better. Bendis‘ and Bonso’s version is a change for the worse.

I’m happy to say the the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s Gamora draws her inspiration from DnA’s portrayal. In this prequel to the upcoming movie, we’re introduced to Gamora shortly after the events portrayed in the Thor: The Dark World teaser for Guardians of the Galaxy involving Sif and Volstagg delivering an Infinity Stone to The Collector. It seems The Collector has in mind collecting all the Infinity objects, and he manipulates Gamora into begrudgingly helping him. Along the way, Gamora, dressed (thankfully) in clothes reminiscent of her Volume II portrayal, proves exactly why she deserves the title of “The Most Dangerous Woman in the Galaxy.” At the end, we get a glimpse of Star-Lord, Yondu, Ronan, Rocket, Groot, and Thanos as portrayed in the upcoming movie to complete the whetting of our appetite for the movie.

Andrea DiVito returns to cosmic for this book, and his art is truly magnificent to behold. I’ve missed seeing his work, and his return is truly welcome. Villari turns in a great job on coloring.

If I had one criticism of this book it would be that it ended way too quickly. I was left really wanting more – and that’s a drastic and welcome departure from my reaction to each new issue of Bendis‘ GotGINO. Pick this book up and get your Bendis Antithesis today!

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Review: Guardians Of The Galaxy #13 (Bendis)

Yawn.

This issue of X-Men……er……..I mean, GotGINO (Guardians of the Galaxy In Name Only), is one enormous anti-climax (in every sense of the word) with a few lame jokes thrown in along the way. And that about sums it up. Seriously. All that build-up, and then it’s over in a few panels after a minor scuffle and teenage Cyclops throwing around a few threats that he couldn’t possibly back up in his wildest dreams or at his most powerful. Plus, it’s so slow-paced and boring that if it could be bottled, it would be a miracle cure for insomnia. For the life of me I can’t see why this crime against the Guardians of the Galaxy’s good name continues to sell well enough to keep it afloat. Has to be the movie hype. If Gunn and Feige are keeping track of the downward spiral this book is on in terms of writing, they have to be pulling out their hair in worry over a soured audience leading up to the movie’s premiere.

This issue epitomizes everything that’s wrong with Bendis’, Loeb’s/Duggan’s, Brevoort’s, and Alonso’s Marvel “Pseudo-Cosmic” Universe. Under DnA, the Guardians were big players in an enormous truly cosmic universe. Under Bendis/Brevoort et al, the Guardians are insignificant players in a tiny Earth-centric pseudo-to-non-cosmic “universe.”

Case in point: This issue would have read exactly the same if the Guardians hadn’t appeared in a single panel. They were incidental, throw-away, supporting characters to the X-Men. The Guardians of the Galaxy really didn’t contribute anything important to the story. In the single brief and boring fight, Rocket is used in cliché manner – just there to tote a big gun and talk some smack. In the denouement, Rocket and Groot are used as the butt of some extraordinarily lame jokes that made me cringe and roll my eyes at the same time (i.e. Groot attempts to put the moves on some non-sentient Earth trees; Rocket yells at some non-sentient Earth raccoons to “Put on some krutacking pants!”). Basically, Bendis keeps Rocket and Groot around simply to provide lame comic relief and a chance to push Bendis’ made-up curse word, and both come across looking like idiots. Also in the denouement, Starlord – resplendent in his cheap-Japanese-anime-inspired “costume” (which he apparently stole from a Battle of the Planets character) – awkwardly (creepily – considering their true age difference) hits on Kitty Pryde. The rest is all X-Men character development mixed with a bunch of smarmily sentimental dialogue flying back and forth between X-characters. Totally boring unless you care about the X-characters, and nearly totally boring even if you do care about the X-characters.

You want to know why I call Bendis’ take GotGINO? Just read this issue. It’s got Guardians of the Galaxy smeared across the cover – but inside it’s anything but GotG. In the “pseudo-cosmic” universe of Bendis/Brevoort/Loeb/Alonso, only the Marvel big-seller headliner characters are important. Everyone else is just a supporting character. Bendis pretty much tells you in how much esteem he holds the cosmic characters when he has the Guardians of the Galaxy make only cameo appearances in their own book!

You know what else really bothers me about the pseudo-cosmic universe created by Bendis, Brevoort, Loeb, Duggan, and Alonso? They think any cosmic character is inherently funny just because they are space-centric – and that’s the mark of silly, campy, BAD storytelling in general and bad “cosmic” or “science-fiction/fantasy” in particular. They want to turn Guardians of the Galaxy into a space farce – simply because the characters live and work in space. They take a Norse God, a WWII super-soldier, a billionaire inventor, and mutants who shoot destructive energy beams out of their eyes (where does that kind of energy come from anyway?) totally seriously and give them heavy dramatic stories. But if it’s an alien that looks like a tree, and in the past has been portrayed as both highly intelligent and a magnificent warrior, they reduce him to idiot level and have him try to bang a real tree for some cheap laughs from the imagination-challenged zombies who are so far gone that they actually think Bendis’ GotGINO run is worthwhile. If it’s a humanoid cosmic character (e.g. Starlord), they have said character act like an idiotic, bumbling nerd who couldn’t get laid on a bet. Tell me – would anyone be celebrating Captain America: The Winter Soldier nowadays if it had been written and played like the 1960’s Batman TV series? A campy farce deliberately making fun of comic books? I think not. That day has long passed, and it passed quickly even back in the 60’s. So why, Brevoort/Bendis/Duggan/Loeb/Alonso/Young, are you reducing cosmic to the level of farce now? Why? Because – as I’ve said from the start – none of them understand science-fiction/science-fantasy.

The art and coloring are certainly acceptable – nothing to write home about. The art and coloring have always been the best parts of the Bendis/Brevoort/Loeb/Duggan/Alonso/Young pseudo-cosmic universe – but I liken it to putting lipstick on a pig. It makes the pig look a little better, but you still don’t want to kiss it. Unless, of course, you’re an imagination-challenged zombie and/or you’re Bendis/Brevoort/Loeb/Duggan/Alonso/Wacker/Young – in which case you’re first in line at that kissing booth.

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Review: The Walking Dead #124

Building off of the characters big push on Sunday’s episode of AMC’s The Walking Dead, Eugene finally takes center stage this issue — with astounding results! Kirkman has been gradually making this mediocre character into something multi-faceted in the last few issues, but this is where he truly shines. Kirkman puts Eugene in a situation where he NEEDS to become a leader without hesitation, a life or death moment that portrays him with confidence akin to Rick. A moment that has completely changed the character from “brilliant oaf” to “brilliant leader” in an instant, and I can’t thank Kirkman enough for it!

Robert Kirkman wastes no time with this “feverishly” paced issue that leads to the most dire of consequences for many key characters. Besides Eugene’s transformation, we see the battle rage on between Neegan’s forces and the residents of the Hilltop. We also see the results of the wound Rick received from last issue, and NO, I will not reveal it’s end result — unless I already have in this review!

Even though this issue is a must have for every Walking Dead fan, Kirkman’s layout and pacing is too rushed in this issue. Everything after the opening sequence seems forced upon you and it never becomes truly fleshed out, leaving too many simple questions unanswered. Questions like, “If it’s too dark to see anything, how did Dwight attack Rick?” and, “If Dwight and Neegan were together when he attacked Rick, why are they not when they follow him?” It’s the simple things that build a story and keep it cohesive, unfortunately, this issue lost some of that in order to quicken the tale to fit within it’s 12 issue parameter. But, I can see past the rushed feel of the story for the overall end result. The “big reveal” may not come as a shock but it is still shocking none the less, and it is those great build up pieces that will keep fans clamoring for more regardless of how quickly the story pushes on!

Comic Book News Marvel

Review: Nova #15 (Duggan)

And the foolishness continues.

Duggan has been writing Deadpool so long that he’s forgotten how to write anything else (if he ever could write anything else in the first place). This issue of NINO is just silly, campy, DUMB child-oriented fantasy at its absolute worst.

I think about so many titles that were so much better than this garbage – Agents of Atlas, Young Allies, Incredible Hercules – (not to mention Volume II of Guardians of the Galaxy and Volume IV of Nova) – and Marvel keeps this trash on life support? There’s something in the works we don’t know about at this point.

We do know that Bendis is going to write the fate of Rich Rider as part of his GotGINO tie-ins to Original Sin. That ought to be about as enjoyable as a combined root canal and colonoscopy. There’s one thing we can count on: with Bendis, Brevoort, Alonso, Loeb, Wacker, and Duggan having anything to do with it, Rich definitely won’t be returning – at least not in any way any Rider Nova fan will find satisfying. The Marvel Clown Car drivers are determined to cram NINO down our throats. If you’re still buying NINO, you’re just making it easier for them.

Anyway, in this issue NINO continues to bumble his way through the situation somehow using powers he’s never been trained to use in heavy combat situations to best THREE rogue Spaceknights. Yeah. That’s plausible. He then takes a break to attend school. Yeah. That’s plausible, too. At school, he sleeps through class (great message to the kiddies at whom this book is aimed), and then agrees with his science teacher that there are no aliens. I guess that teacher slept through Bendis’ Secret Invasion? Come to think of it, I did, too, after I got bored with counting all the alien invasion movie concepts Bendis ripped-off while writing that utterly derivative and boring “event.”

Next issue’s cover features the little idiot lifting Stormbreaker. NINO isn’t worthy of the uniform he’s usurped – and Marvel wants to portray him as worthy enough to lift Stormbreaker, too? Yeah – you’ve pretty much got to have the mentality of an 8-year-old to buy into the entire concept of NINO. I find myself rooting for the villains in every issue. I’d rejoice if one of them killed the little idiot.

The funny thing is that Duggan et al just keep doubling-down on everything that isn’t working despite falling sales that should be telling them that the NINO concept has been soundly rejected. Nix NINO, and bring back a Rider Nova book aimed at adult readers is the message Brevoort and Alonso are deliberately ignoring to push the worthlessness that is NINO.

The art and coloring are certainly acceptable; though I found portraying Cosmo to be morbidly obese a bit off-putting. But, again, that’s just a single off-putting example of a book filled to the brim with off-putting bastardizations and ret-cons of the much better true cosmic that preceded it written by actual talented cosmic writers such as Giffen and DnA. Marvel’s strategy of firing the talented writers and bringing in the hacks has worked wonders for cosmic hasn’t it? Good job Alonso and Brevoort.

So buckle-up Rider Nova fans. Unfortunately it’s been bad – but the worst is yet to come. Marvel isn’t through insulting, disrespecting, and underestimating us. They’ve commissioned Bendis to deal the death blow. They think we’re too few in number to matter, and that we’ll eventually just give up and/or fade away – and they want to hurry that process along with Bendis writing Rich’s ultimate dire fate. Let’s prove them wrong. Join me in continuing to boycott NINO. Boycott Original Sin and GotGINO, too. Marvel needs to be punished in the only manner they understand – monetarily – for their “original sin” of running cosmic into the ground and disrespecting/insulting/underestimating cosmic fans in general and the Rider Nova fans in particular.

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