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Since when is Star-Lord so clumsy and un-skilled with the ladies? Oh yeah – since Bendys* has been providing what passes for the writing of this book. It’s embarrassingly bad, really. Star-Lord was NEVER like this until Bendis got his greedy little paws on the character. Even Gunn didn’t mangle the characterization as badly for the movie. Humphries makes it even worse in his LSL book. I know the zombies who are keeping the sales of this book at acceptable levels have a high tolerance for cringe-worthy writing, but really.
This whole Star-Lord and Kitty long-distance romance was ill-conceived from the start. But with Bendis being the prince of ill-conceived ideas, who could be surprised. Star-Lord should be about Bendys’ age and Kitty is what – early 20’s? Hmmmm – something you’re trying to work out, Bendys? Mid-life crisis, maybe?
Bendys pulls out all the stops for this book with the bad situation comedy writing – even resorting to bathroom humor when Drax says he is late for a fight because he was busy taking a dump. Is that even funny? Maybe if you’re under the age of 9 – but funny to the actual demographic buying this book? I certainly hope not. And I don’t recognize this Drax. It’s certainly not Giffen’s Drax, or the classic Drax, or Infinity Watch’s brain-damaged Drax, or even Gunn’s dunder-head Drax. This Drax is some weird combination that is an inconsistent amalgam of all of the above and also inferior to all the above – especially the classic Drax and Giffen Drax iterations. One can only read this inferior characterization of Drax, shake one’s head, and mutter “Bendys.”
And why do the Avengers have ANYTHING to say about the activities of the Guardians? Why do the Avengers have to have a representative with the Guardians at all times? Why would the representative be Venom? Isn’t making Venom the representative just asking for trouble? And why would the Guardians accept that? Why are the Guardians portrayed as so weak and barely able to deal with the most mundane of problems – when in the past they single-handedly dealt with universe-level threats? Shake your head and mutter, “Bendis,” once again.
On the up side, the art and coloring are much improved from recent past issues. Schiti is growing into his depiction of the space-based environment, and Keith’s colors are the perfect complement. Once again, the art is the only saving grace of Bendys’ entire miserable mangling of this once great concept.
So – do yourself a favor and leave this one on the shelf. Instead, buy the classic TPB’s of Star-Lord, the Annihilation Omnibus – or Marvel’s one true cosmic book, Guardians 3000. You’ll be glad you took my advice.
*Bendis’ name will be randomly misspelled throughout the course of this article in blatant mockery of his random misspelling of “Rider” in GotGINO #20.
