Well, folks, if you thought Kevin Smith did us dirty with his Netflix series, things get a lot worse with the live-action He-Man Masters of the Universe movie from Amazon Studios, the same studio behind Rings of Power and the upcoming live-action “reimagined”Voltron film.
It’s also the same studio that the owner of James Bond recently said are f’n idiots.
We actually might have had it good under Smith and didn’t know it. Yep, Kevin Smith lied. He-Man died, and we all cried. Now we are going to cry harder because He-Man is getting buried even deeper.
Adam is a regular guy bored with an office job
According to scooper Daniel RPK, the He-Man movie will feature Adam as a guy in “the real world” who is working a “boring office job.”
The scooper adds that “the whole He-Man and Masters of the Universe story are tales he heard as a little kid.” It’s said Adam goes on a journey of self discovery rather than just another spectacle of battles and magic.
A previous plot description the trades have stopped reporting on tells us the rest of the story:
10-year-old Prince Adam who crashed to Earth in a spaceship and was separated from his magical Power Sword—the only link to his home on Eternia. After tracking it down almost two decades later, Prince Adam is whisked back across space to defend his home planet against the evil forces of Skeletor. But to defeat such a powerful villain, Prince Adam will first need to uncover the mysteries of his past and become He-Man: the most powerful man in the Universe!
WTF are you doing???
The rumored plot is so bad I can’t help but just shake my head. When that plot first dropped I actually sent Amazon Studios an e-mail telling them how much of a bad idea it is and that their Masters of the Universe flick will massively flop. Whoever thought up the plot and whoever thought of greenlighting this garbage is absolutely clueless. How do these clowns even get these kind of jobs?
Travis Knight of Bumblebee is directing, and I have to question, dude, WTF are you doing??? Ditto for Chris Butler who is writing the script. I’ve been a fan of He-Man since I was a kid. I even have a letter I wrote as a 9-year-old printed in the He-Man official magazine. This ain’t f’n He-Man!
And what about the cast? Do the actors or their reps have a f’n clue, too??? This movie is going to embarrassingly tank, like on the level of Morbius, Madame Web, and Kraven. Nicholas Galitzine, talk about a career killer, bro! This is it!!! Holy sh-t!
Who stars in Masters of the Universe?
In addition to Nicholas Galitzine as He-Man and Adam, Masters of the Universe stars Camila Mendes who looks nothing like Teela (update: she actually dyed her hair red, see below). Of course, Idris Elba looks nothing like Man-At-Arms. Kojo Attah also looks nothing like Tri-Klops. Jared Leto, who has a string of flops, plays Skeletor (will he even have a skull face? lol). Rounding out the rest of the announced cast includes Alison Brie as Evil-Lyn, Sam C. Wilson as Trap Jaw, with Hafthor Bjornsson as Goat Man.
