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Return of the Flop
A Film Review of (Another) Fantastic Four
I can’t say I didn’t warn you back when people were losing their minds over Johnny Storm being played by Michael B. Jordan and I wrote an article that didn’t criticize his casting, but that of his sister being cast as white girl, Kate Mara. Thus, we have finally come to the opening weekend of this brand new Fantastic Four and what we have received is a decent amount of what I predicted, copious amounts of plot gaps, bland characters in a character-driven flick and one of the worst villains ever conceived for the contemporary comic book adaptation. Looks like Marvel won’t have to wait much longer to get those film rights back from 20th Century Fox. My general criticism of this film has less to do with the particulars and character reinventions and more to do with the project’s overall lack of focus, its disjointed nature and complete inability to build drama and suspense to allow the action that unfolds on screen to matter. There’s some kind of identity crisis going on where you can see the film wants to be about family, or about shady government, or about environmentalism, or even about plain old action. The problem is, none of these themes are given the proper screen time and production effort to allow them to mold the story in any unique way. It’s as if director Josh Trank and his studio overseer kept hitting the randomize button on a ton of film clips captured on Final Cut Pro to yield this product.
I don’t care if “the studio” is ultimately to blame for what certainly seems the worst effort put into a potentially serious, money making adaptation because even common civilians know by now that in the comic book film game, you don’t handle Hollywood, Hollywood handles you! That holds true even when the writer/director is also responsible for having created the source material. Trank may very well be correct in identifying studio interference as having negative effects to the production, but so what? Even if you are given a huge budget that gets stripped away from you, even if you cast A-listers that walk out on you or even if the studio exec bursts in and forces a major overhaul mid-production, as the director, there is one thing you can still ensure that has a lasting, positive impact that can save an audience: your cast’s performance. Sure, the modern day American film director has many responsibilities, but the most important and often overlooked is that of evoking the best out of your cast. You give them a framework for what you want, you show them how their characters matter and then you give them the freedom to explore those characters inside negotiable parameters. This cast clearly had their own ideas with little discipline because it shows in the lack of camaraderie, the lack of onscreen chemistry. When one’s cast is barely interested in the film, how then can an audience be convinced to be interested in watching?
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Action Style |
One would think that a comic book adaptation would have lots of good nuggets of cool power sequences and other worldly combat, but this film boasts none of that save for the climactic battle which was still more about CG going wild than anything else. Seriously, most of Ben Grimm’s “clobbering time” is seen through video monitors. |
1/6 |
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Action Frame |
This too, is a little on the bland side as the FF’s powers are well contained for 80% of the film. Is it weird that a street race among POS used cars is the most dynamic sequence of movement going on in the whole film? The camera doesn’t follow Human Torch flight much because he doesn’t fly around very much. |
2/5 |
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Lead Performance |
Apparently, Reed Richards is only a stereotypical super nerd in the strictest sense because nobody else has been able to perform this character as anything but, including Miles Teller. His performance evokes no semblance of leadership and no sense of loyalty for his own “friends” and “family.” |
1/6 |
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Supporting Performance |
You know how you dodge the bullet over explaining the whole African American Storm family adopting Susan? You ignore it completely, kind of like how Kate Mara and Michael B. Jordan barely acknowledge each other as siblings onscreen. Jaime Bell is hamstringed by his character going full CG. Toby Kebbell delivers a Doom that is far too emo to be maniacal, too lazy to be a mastermind and too disinterested in being a character let alone a villain. The one shining light was Reg E. Cathey as Dr. Franklin Storm. Freddy from House of Cards gives us a character with charisma and cares about being there. Too bad he didn’t rub off on the rest of the cast |
2/5 |
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Music |
Music was present, but held neither marquee melody nor lasting impression. |
3/6 |
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Sound F/X |
Ben Grimm’s rock voice +, teleportation machine sounds +, other dimension sounds + |
4/5 |
“Moving” = 13/33
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Digital F/X |
Human Torch looked fine, inter-dimensional portal and transportation light shows were bright and Ben Grimm looked great as pants-less Thing. Too bad his effects ate up 70% of the CG budget leaving the rest of the film with a lot of regular scenery to capture. |
4/6 |
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Special F/X |
This area takes a hit not just because there isn’t a ton of practical effects going on here, but there is a scene where the glass on a backboard shatters due to a high pitched sound and it’s the ONLY glass in the area that shatters (no one’s glasses or windows are affected). Sure, this is more of a continuity issue but someone on the explosive team should have at least raised their hands. |
2/5 |
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Costumes |
Uninspired is the only word that comes to mind here. Casual wear is fine what with all the scientists, military and business people walking around, but the FF’s clothes are generic spacesuits. The worst is the entire concept behind Doom: his garb makes no sense; it looks goofy and has nothing to do with any iteration of that character ever conceived for film, TV or comic books. Just awful. |
1/6 |
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Hair & Makeup |
Not a bad job being done here. When people are roughed up, they show wounds and an appropriate amount of rubble. Still wished the script supervisor got with Josh Trank to point out Sue Storm’s mismatched hair style and coloring at incorrect chronological points. |
4/5 |
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Exteriors |
Baxter building outskirts looked great as did the Grimm family junkyard. The other dimension looked threatening enough from the ground-scape but certainly need more going on in the background. |
4/6 |
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Interiors |
Another comic book adaptation means more science labs and research facilities. They were certainly set up and dressed in an acceptable manner, but got a bit bland considering we spend most of the movie in these types of settings. |
3/5 |
“Picture” = 18/33
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Hook |
Boy genius develops inter-dimensional travel only to grow up to become the stretchy guy on a team of super-powered people. The only difference this has from any other FF origin story is the extended screen time put into Reed as a child, which isn’t as interesting as Reed as a young adult. |
2/4 |
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Conflict |
Very weak here. Is it smart people vs. government? Is it family vs. each other? Is it good guys vs. bad guys? It’s more like all of it jumbled in a washing machine and the focus changes throughout the film. |
1/4 |
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Resolution |
Thanks to time being elapsed at multiple points in the film, everything is “solved” just as soon as anything becomes a problem. Of course, there’s a token scene to imply a sequel, but this film doesn’t deserve it. |
1/4 |
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Dialogue |
There’s more significant talking that occurs between those that are “handling” the FF. The FF themselves are a bit too nonchalant as they go from perfect strangers to reserved “besties” in no time at all. |
2/6 |
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Exposition |
Watch out for all the plot craters strewn about! A more nimble mind will be able to maneuver these to get a general idea so long as the viewer accepts and forgets to get to the next scene. Nothing is methodically explored or explained. |
2/5 |
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Character Uniqueness |
All of the main characters are less amplified versions of the character types they are supposed to represent. Reed is just one of the squad as opposed to the alpha nerd. Sue is an emotionless, responsibility first kind of girl. Ben is the tamest rock warrior you’ve ever seen. Johnny isn’t an ego-driven hothead; he just has daddy issues. |
2/6 |
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Character Relatability |
To achieve relatability, characters need a sympathetic anchor to the audience. Even if Dr. Franklin’s concern for “his children” is played well enough by the actor, those moments play as empty because the audience doesn’t have enough bonding moments between father and “kids” to matter much. Also, I have no idea why the hell Reed does what he ultimately does. I’ve never witnessed a more random display of cowardice onscreen than this. |
2/5 |
“Story” = 12/34
Overall MPS Rating: 43/100
Few Hollywood comic book films make the Fantastic Flops of ’05 and ’07 look like Academy Award winning gems in comparison, but this Fantastic Four movie does just that. As mind numbing as they were, at least they were fun and at times funny. This film seems so desperate to take itself seriously, yet has no clear idea as to what it’s being serious about. I beg you all to put your money to better use: check in with Netflix, go out to dinner, go to a museum, go to a park – just please, do not pay to be “entertained” by this. Send 20th Century Fox a clear message that pathetic, corporate attempts to squeeze as much profit from impotently developed licenses will not be rewarded by forgetting this movie exists at the box office.
Josh Trank’s Got A ‘Fantastic’ Curveball For Ya!
More Casting Shenanigans from the Hollywood Machine
By Lawrence Napoli
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All right, so we all know by now that 20th Century Fox is bankrolling a reboot of the Fantastic Flops from ’05 and ’07. Josh Trank, director of Chronicle (2012), will be in command of this reboot starring a bunch of semi-known white actors in the principal roles … and … a black Johnny Storm? Oh yes, Michael B. Jordan (which is I’m sure a stage name that totally and is in no way attempting to siphon off any mojo from ‘His Airness’) has been cast as the Human Torch. Questions?
First, let’s state the obvious. Jordan is Josh Trank’s boy from his break out film Chronicle. Jordan did a great job in that role, but he still happened to be the token black guy in a super-hero-y type of movie so that means [SPOILER ALERT!] he wasn’t the main character and was the first one with powers to be killed. Surprise, surprise. What truly isn’t a surprise, however, is the fact that this kind of Hollywood nepotism or reciprocation or familiarity or whatever you want to label it as is pretty gosh darn common. Just look at anything produced or directed by Chris Nolan and you may notice the carbon copying of entire cast lists. Be that as it may, I have no problem with any director recasting actors with whom he or she developed good, professional relationships with – provided it’s not just about throwing someone a bone and the decision will be mutually beneficial.
Second, nobody knows where exactly this “reboot” is going to go with the story, but examining the sparse details on imdb.com (assuming them to be accurate) allows us to deduce a few things: The Fantastic Four will be Reed Richards/Mr. Fantastic, Sue Storm/Invisible Woman, Ben Grimm/The Thing and Johnny Storm/The Human Torch. Each character would not have been given their pseudonym on the cast page if this reboot was going to be doing something way off formula by changing the origin story from “these people get blasted with cosmic rays in space that turns them into the super-humans we’ve come to know them as.” So it seems that everyone is going to have the same or similar range of status and relationships they share with each other from the comics and the previous films. The issue at bar is that the characters of Sue and Johnny Storm share a biological heritage that is clearly going to be broken based on this most recent casting news. I can only presume that Trank will go for some alternative/adoptive family structure to “plot-device” that little detail away because both introducing themselves as “I’m Sue Storm. I’m Johnny Storm. No relation,” is just plain dumb even for a (non-spoof) comic book adaptation.
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I could care less about whatever taboo may result from reorienting the ethnicities of fictional characters. If anything, Hollywood needs as many truckloads of actual, progressive thought patterns to do anything to kick the white/male hero to the curb and deliver stories whose main characters are women, Asians, Africans, Hispanics, homosexuals – basically anyone who isn’t the stereotypical white, hetero, leading man. I like the idea of casting Michael B. Jordan in this role because of the potential it gives to refreshing a whole lot of super hero been there/done that. My problem with this casting reveal is not that Johnny Storm is black, but that his sister, Sue Storm (Kate Mara, pictured left), isn’t.
There was a real opportunity to do something unique with a fairly popular (though certainly not a flagship) license amidst this tidal wave of comic book films we’ll be digesting for the next 10 years. Seeing interracial couples in films and TV today reflect trends in western society that have been happening for a while, and Hollywood is still catching up. Seeing this in a super hero family for a big budget blockbuster would not only have brought the proverbial spice, but also a whole new angle to reflect on the first family of super-heroes not to mention an added level of depth this potential film’s predecessors could never have addressed. If Trank wants Jordan as Johnny, then that’s fine, but it makes no sense to make his (traditionally) biological sister a different race, regardless of whatever complex family dynamic you’ll only address with these two characters by themselves. Finding the screen time to explain whatever this brother-sister relationship will eventually be defined as will diminish the capacity of the most important relationship in this family: between Reed and Sue (and their future child Franklin who is arguably the most powerful, non-abstract, character in the Marvel Universe). An interracial couple would have raised the stakes, delivered something new and sweetened the drama for the entire cast.
In the end, Josh Trank is going to be directing a comic book adaptation that is going to feature plenty of action and special effects and typically, those kinds of films aren’t primarily interested in commenting on anything too heavy. As much as people may be making a big deal about Michael B. Jordan now, I have a feeling that Trank is going to sweep his ethnicity under the rug in the due course of the film’s progression by making these “however related” siblings as matter-as-fact as possible. One or both of them will be adopted or have different fathers and yada, yada, yada, as long as two white people are hooking up as husband and wife of this super hero team then everything’s fine. Diving any deeper into this subplot turns this film into the Fantastic Two. Denying that depth forces the elephant in the room to get completely ignored and, as a director, you’ve made your actor (in this case, Jordan) completely inconsequential to the character. I suppose it’s a good thing to get to the point in society where things like race and everything else that makes us different from each other doesn’t impact behavior in any way, but maintaining the unique sibling nature of Sue and Johnny with the ethnicity swap would have brought a whole new level of complexity to this film that I can only assume was simply (ahem) too hot to handle for this particular production staff.
I’m sure when more information and promotions regarding this film become available, we’ll hear Trank and perhaps every producer at the top talk about “we just picked the best cast with the best chemistry,” as an explanation for it all. Yeah, ok. This isn’t casting for a high school musical where it would be novel to cast an African American male for Peter Pan, an Asian American female for Jean Valjean, a Latino American male for Sky Masterson and so on and so forth. Picking whomever for whatever shouldn’t enter the equation unless the production is going to make those kinds of choices more meaningful to the overall production than “just ‘cause.” Hollywood films can ill afford to be flippant in regards to any decision made for the production unless that choice fully serves the story; anything less needs to be reconsidered if not instantly retracted. Of course, that kind of idealism doesn’t fuel even your average Hollywood blockbuster and the “just ‘cause” rationale is actually something that pops up quite frequently. It’s one of the main reasons we continue to see some awful filmmaking and the audience notices those choices with every awkward moment we bear witness to.
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All I care about is seeing a really good movie, and I feel this one could be great if the Storm family was an African American family, but let’s dial it back and keep it real with the Fantastic Four. That franchise isn’t anything close to the grandeur of The Avengers, X-Men, Spider-Man, Batman, Superman or the Justice League. Infinitely less people are going to care if this movie actually gets made, let alone this one little detail. So who gives a damn, right? Well, I would think a filmmaker would want as many people as possible to give a damn by trying to show people a story and give them an experience they haven’t had before. The brother-sister no relation situation seems foolish to push in any film where the story isn’t fully focused on that major plot point. But who am I kidding? It’s just another reboot. Why should anyone expect more from something less?
“You Need A License To Catch A Fish …”
By Chris “DOC” Bushley
With Father’s Day just a few days away, and my daughter snuggly sleeping in her bed, I began to ponder all the fathers and father figures brought to us each month in the pages of comics. The parallels between our favorite art form and real life are staggering, a true mirror of the vast facets of fatherdom we see everyday! From the fathers that would give everything for their children, to the delinquent dad that never taught his child right from wrong, the media darlings that have no time to gaze upon the angelic faces they have sired, to the ones that have chosen to be a “father” to those who need it the most.
Comics are at their best when they make us feel a connection, whether good or bad! The following list of fathers is not a group of the worst or best, but rather, a myriad of both. They are fathers that have made us reflect on how we raise our children, ones we can strive to be more like or those we never wish to become. Whether you agree or disagree, all of these characters have definitively made a connection to the readers — if not their children!
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Batman/Damien: The father that never knew he was one! DC finally recognized the great Son of The Demon story as cannon, and we got to see Bruce Wayne deal with his true heir! Though a father figure to all the previous Robins, it was the son that hated him that finally made him question what kind of person he was. A great dynamic of a frustrated father and the son who loves to do the frustrating!
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Wally West/Iris and Jai West: The dad who broke time to save his children! When his wife, Linda Park, was attacked by Professor Zoom, her pregnancy was terminated. Distraught by the loss of his twins, the Flash asked the Spectre to erase Wally West and Linda Park from the minds of the world. Too bad he and Linda forgot, too! Eventually, they both remembered and Wally fought Zoom again. This time the battle created a fissure in time and saved Linda’s pregnancy! He is the man that would turn back time for his children!
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Alan Scott/Jade and Obsidian: The father figure to all, the dad to none! Alan Scott may have been one of the most patriarchal figures to young heroes, but his own children were always second best. Though Jade and Obsidian finally worked on a strained relationship with their father, the early years of abandonment took its toll on Obsidian. He became a villain on more than one occasion, fighting against the very team his father beloved so much — the JSA! You can be loved by the public all you want, but it’s the love you receive at home that will sustain you forever!
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Rick Grimes/Carl: The dad who will never give up! Not a coma, dismemberment, torture, loss of a wife and baby, nor hordes of zombies can ever keep Rick from doing all he can to save his only son! He is the primal rage inside all fathers that will make us protect our children no matter what the circumstance! He is driven, almost to a fault, and when the dust settles — you will be damn sure he and his son emerge together!
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Scott Summers/Cable: The dad that wasn’t there! Literally! The only way to save his newborn from certain death, was to send him into the future! Eventually, Scott and Jean Grey got the chance to travel to the future and help a young Cable under the guise of “Slim and Red.” But, no matter how that time spent with his son may have helped Scott feel better about abandoning him, Cable never truly forgave his dad. To this day, their relationship is more as teammates than family!
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Magneto/Scarlet Witch, Quicksilver and Polaris: Thrice the sire, never the father! Wow, talk about daddy issues! When all of your children start out abandoned, turn to a life of crime and eventually all turn against you — you know you did something wrong! Even now, as an X-Man, his children fight on the side of his enemies. Manipulating your children to get what you want, will only give you manipulative children!
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James Gordon/Batgirl, James Gordon Jr.: The everyman! Different continuity will give you different scenarios about who his children are or are not. But, whether he sired Barbara Gordon or not, he always tried to do right by his family! A single dad and the Commissioner to the most crime filled city in all of DC, “Jimmy” does all he can to be there for his children and teach them the difference between right and wrong. But even the best intentions can not stop pure evil as James Jr. has become a maniacal murderer! You try your best, but sometimes you fail!
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Wolverine/Dakken: Like father, like son! Wolverine never knew that his son was born after his wife Itsu was slain. If he had, would it have changed the horrible events of his son’s life? Or are we only made to pay for the sins of our father? Either way, Dakken swore to destroy his father’s life at every turn! He would do anything to antagonize his father, including becoming “Wolverine” on Norman Osborn’s Dark Avengers. In the end, Dakken left his father with nothing but scars as a memory of his son. A father fueled by rage will only burn his own future!
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Professor Bruttenholm/Hellboy: The father that didn’t have to be! When Nazi’s called a demon to earth, they never expected it to be an infant! Abandoned, Hellboy was “adopted” by Professor Bruttenholm and treated like a son. He was taught compassion, an appreciation for the arts and acquired a love of pancakes! Not even of the same species, the Professor should more compassion for Hellboy than most biological fathers on this list! It just goes to show that good men can help mold great “sons,” even if they are not their own!
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Reed Richards/Franklin and Valeria Richards: Father fantastic! The scientist, the adventurer, the hero — the father! Say what you will about Mr. Fantastic, there is no question that he can balance it all! A hero to the universe, doting husband and loving father — he is the epitome of what a father can be. Through it all, at the end of the day, his children can look upon their father and be proud to know how much they are loved. And to all of us fathers out there — that’s all that really matters!
Happy Father’s Day!
