Author name: timelord

CBN’s “Timelord” is our expert on all things science-fiction and cosmic. Timelords reviews Nova and Guardians of the Galaxy. His reviews have been quoted by Marvel Comics for cover blurbs, in press releases and solicits. Timelord’s reviews have also been directly sent to Marvel Comics Editorial, and Timelord has provided Marvel Comics Editorial notes for their various cosmic comics including Nova.

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Comic Book News

Guardians of the Galaxy #11 Review (Bendis)

There were two high points in this issue.  First, a Gamora imposter was beautifully portrayed in Gamora’s Annihilation-era costume by artist, Sara Pichelli.  Second, Rocket and most of the rest of the team hang-up on an annoying “phone-call” from Tony Stark – thus ending Stark’s involvement in Guardians of the Galaxy.  Aside from that, this issue drove right off a cliff and landed squarely in a pile of boredom.  Basically, Bendis uses this issue as one long commercial for his X-Men series and advances the saga/characterization of the Guardians not one iota.  If I was a new reader, I’d be wondering why the Guardians were such a big deal because they don’t do much of anything and are portrayed as marginally competent second-fiddles to everyone else in the Marvel Universe – especially any Avengers or X team.  They have “B-List rapidly slipping to C-List” written all over them in Bendis’ characterization.

Bendis’ continued fascination with the lackluster “Galactic Council” is beyond comprehension.  They come across as a bunch of incompetent, scheming, generic, cardboard villains who never agree on anything and work at cross purposes to each other.  Why do they bother to meet?  How come this bears no resemblance to the Galactic Council as portrayed in the past?  If these heads of state are all so incompetent, how do they keep from being deposed?  I know this is Bendis’ ham-handed attempt to set up and advance stories – but frankly it’s bad writing and a bad technique reminiscent of some of the worst examples of storytelling from 50’s-70’s-era popular televised juvenile science-fantasy.  And that’s the problem with Bendis writing cosmic.  His entire understanding of cosmic seems to come from watching TV as a youngster.  That much is obvious from his handling of Guardians of the Galaxy thus far with its obvious turn to the juvenile and the implausible.  Add to that that, Bendis has written implausible super-heroic fantasy for so long that he has no idea how to write science-fiction or even science-fantasy that must by definition contain a modicum of plausibility to earn the “science” brand – and you get the mess that is his Volume III of Guardians of the Galaxy.

I really hate it that Star-Lord is portrayed as a bumbling, skirt-chasing, 25-year-old easily taken down by an obvious Skrull imposter with the old “drug in the drink” trick.   I much preferred the colder, more mature, more calculating middle-aged manipulator who chased the occasional skirt.  DnA’s inspiration for Star-Lord came from a softened version of his original portrayal with some Han Solo mixed in.  Bendis’ inspiration is apparently Adam West’s portrayal of Batman with some young Charlie Sheen mixed in and dumped into the body of a 25-year-old.   I don’t see this version of Star-Lord as anyone to be respected, feared, or admired.  In fact, his “leadership” in Volume III has been lackluster at best.  If I was the Galactic Council, I’d just ignore him and let him self-destruct via his own incompetence.

Knowhere (complete with a barely noticeable cameo from Cosmo) is now inexplicably portrayed as a dirty spaceport on a planet with a binary star system (i.e. a rip-off of Star Wars’ Mos Eisley).  When did Knowhere move out of the Celestial head floating through the Big Rip?  Did Bendis just decide to ret-con the whole Knowhere mythos?  What gives?

Though Pichelli gets kudos for her portrayal of Gamora in the Annihilation-era costume and for her portrayal of Angela – the rest of the team leaves something to be desired – especially Rocket and Drax.  Rocket looks like a dog’s plush toy and Drax is portrayed as a generic, barely-defined muscle-man.  Ponsor does  his usual fine job with colors – but admittedly he doesn’t have much with which to work.

I’m reminded of what William Shatner told J. J. Abrams about the new Star Trek.  Shatner told Abrams that it portrayed all the classic characters and had some whiz-bang special effects – but it lacked the real heart of Star Trek.  I agree with Shatner, and I’ve said the same about Bendis’ Guardians of the Galaxy Volume III from the start.  Look back through my reviews.  Bendis writes characters who carry the name and image of DnA’s version of Guardians of the Galaxy, but Bendis has excised their hearts and souls.   Bendis writes caricatures of the Guardians of the Galaxy aimlessly wandering around inexplicably/implausibly obsessed with one miniscule fraction of one galaxy (i.e. Earth-space) acting like inferior versions of any of the way too many Avengers teams – that is, when he’s not using the Guardians of the Galaxy as butlers for The Avengers and now the X-Men.

Just as I’ve said from the start, Bendis doesn’t understand science-fiction, and he lacks the talent to capture the heart and soul of the characters that made Volume II of Guardians of the Galaxy a modern day classic.   The best thing he could do is step aside and let a better writer – preferably one with SF street cred – take over.  Sadly, we already know that’s not in the cards as the Avengers-zombies (and the old Volume II Guardians of the Galaxy fans who vainly hope for a glimpse of the past glory to seep into Volume III) keep the sales up around 60K.  Sadly, we also know that Bendis didn’t learn from the stupid and disastrous addition of Iron Man to the team as Cable is slated to join the team soon in a shameless ploy to attract X-zombie dollars to the book as is Venom in a shameless ploy to attract Spider-zombies.  This Bendis-led integration of Guardians of the Galaxy into the greater Marvel Universe to attract more (juvenile and casual) buyers has really weakened the concept and is not a good lead-in to the upcoming movie.  Cosmic was substantially better when it was niche-audience oriented and adult-oriented. Sadly, the powers that be in Marvel Editorial show no signs of waking up and correcting their bad decisions.

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Comic Book News Marvel

Review: Nova #12 (Duggan)

The cover gave me a moment of false hope that NINO would finally get what was coming to him and we’d be mercifully spared any more issues of this ongoing insult to intelligence, plausibility, and the Nova mythos.  Sadly – the annoying little “idiot” survives.

Once again NINO proves to be a disgrace to the Nova uniform and the Nova Corps.  He makes light of the deaths of true Corpsmen – something a true soldier would never do.  He is easily bested by a lame bounty hunter.  He is easily fooled by a pirate/slaver into saving the pirate/slaver from Korbinite justice, and then repairs the pirate/slaver’s ship.  Of course, he skips school to do all of this – and once again his ineffective mother is just fine with that.

I am shaking my head in wonderment at the level of suspension of plausibility that is required for any normal adult to read this book and actually be entertained by it.   It is truly too juvenile and too puerile for most 10-year-olds.  Maybe particularly immature 7-year-olds are dumb enough to enjoy it – but how many of them are buying comic books?  I guess that’s why the latest sales numbers for this rag are well under 30K.

This comic book is proof positive that Earthbound super-hero writers should just stick to writing Earthbound super-hero stories – and leave the writing of cosmic heroes to true science-fiction writers.  That’s right Duggan.  Just go back to writing Deadpool.  Cosmic isn’t your thing.

Let’s talk about some of the particularly asinine weaknesses of the entire NINO concept as perfectly illustrated by this issue.  Some lame bounty hunter just snatches NINO’s helmet off and NINO immediately becomes powerless and helpless.  A Nova is supposed to be a living weapon.  What weapon designer would design a living weapon with such a glaring weakness?   None would.  In fact, in the entire history of Nova mythos, no Nova has been portrayed as being powerless while their helmet was off.  It defeats the entire purpose of having a living weapon to make the power dependent on the helmet.  Other (better) writers recognized that – but not our boy Loeb.  That entire “magic helmet” concept is just another “Lo(e)botomization (i.e. a dumbing-down or juvenilization) of the Nova concepts and mythos.

Since Xandar is presumably still inactive or stone cold dead in the Loeb/Brevoort/Alonso-perpetrated hack-job on the Nova mythos – on whose authority is NINO acting when he puts on his father’s uniform, usurps powers not granted to him by any authority and goes about enforcing pan-galactic law?   Nobody’s authority of course.  He’s immature, untrained to use powers that could level a city, and irresponsible as lavishly portrayed in this issue where he frustrates the efforts of empowered law enforcers and aids/abets criminals.  I liken it to a 15-year-old putting on his father’s police uniform, strapping on a gun, getting into a patrol car, and driving down the Interstate Highway enforcing the law with the same level of seriousness as he would approach a video game.  Would any responsible adult be just fine with that or would responsible adults put a stop to it?

And what is it with the Marvel/Disney glorification of truancy from school, irresponsible use of vast powers, child soldiering, and irresponsible parenting?  Is that really the message Marvel/Disney is sending to the particularly dumb, immature, and therefore especially impressionable 7-year-olds at whom this comic book is presumably aimed?  Heck – this book is even insulting to the single-moms – portraying them as weak, irresponsible, and ineffective.   Tell me – what responsible parent would encourage a minor child to skip school to travel light-years away from home to risk his life using powers he’s not trained to use?

The only highlights of this waste of time, money, and paper are Medina’s art and Curiel’s colors.  Too bad their efforts are wasted on this NINO tripe.  They deserve better material to highlight their skills.

It makes me angry to know that the mature, effective, powerful, decisive, and heroic true Nova, Rich Rider, was replaced by the immature, ineffective, un-heroic, and “idiotic” (Loeb’s own words) NINO due to the misguided decision of Marvel Editorial staff to try to re-capture the magic of 60’s-era teen Peter Parker.  It isn’t working guys.  It’ll never work.  It isn’t the 60’s anymore and that story concept has been overdone from then to present.  It’s hackneyed.  Falling sales are proving that.  Do the smart thing and Nix NINO!

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Comic Book News Marvel

Guardians of the Galaxy #10 Review (Bendis)

Well – I have to begrudgingly give this issue a “best of the worst thus far” nod in Bendis’ entire garbage of the galaxy run.  But – that’s only because I have a weakness for old-fashioned “Bad Girls,” and this issue focuses on Gamora and Angela going berserk and killing everything in sight in a real “up close and personal” way.  The fight scenes and near over-the-top viciousness of these two Bad Girls would have been like a walk down memory lane if only the violence had been a bit more graphic, and the viciousness had really achieved over-the-topness

For the first time, I felt like Bendis got Gamora’s characterization right.  I’d also have to say the same about the characterization of the rest of the team; though viewing Star-Lord’s atrociously redesigned uniform did kind of wet blanket the moment of seeing his glimmer of correct characterization finally manifest itself.   Never fear Bendis-zombies and Avengers-zombies – I’m sure Bendis just accidentally fell bass ackwards into getting the characterization right, and next issue Rocket will be back to desperately trying to find a catch-phrase to shout, Star-Lord will be back to channeling Adam West, and the rest of the team will be once again unrecognizable caricatures of their former selves.

The interior art and coloring are vast improvements over the last two atrociously illustrated/colored issues.  What can be said about the cover?  Sigh.  Gamora and Angela were beautiful.  Star-Lord’s illustration was beyond awful. His uniform looks like something from a cheap Japanese cartoon, and his hair looks like somebody dropped a bowl over his head and scissor-cut around the perimeter.  Hey Bendis/Maguire – the mop-top went out in the 60’s!  Pathetic.  And what’s with the smug, self-satisfied little Burt Reynolds smile and chin tug?  Is he really suggesting he’s going to bag one of the babes on either side of him?  Really?  Not this version of Star-Lord.  He might bag Squirrel-Girl – but Gamora and Angela are way out of this Bendis-fied version of Star-Lord’s league.  Now Inglehart’s and DnA’s version of Star-Lord is an entirely different story.  Both at once would’ve been a definite possibility.

And no letter’s page!  What a relief not to have to suffer through anything Wacker writes.  And this should be one of his last issues.

Hey Bendis – do us all a favor and leave GotG to more capable hands.  I’m sure you’ll want to add the Star Wars notch to your belt.  Why not move on and get started on that early?  If you think us Marvel Cosmic fans have been tough on you – just wait until the Star Wars fans start reacting to your situation-comedy-ing of their favorite universe.

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Comic Book News

Bad Dog #5 Review

This is one of the best books on the market, and you’re probably not reading it.  If you’re not, that’s a shame because you’re really missing out on a good time.
 
For those unfamiliar with the book, Bad Dog chronicles the adventures of two Bounty Hunters, Lou and Wendell.  Lou is a Werewolf and Wendell is a fallen Priest.  Currently, they’re on an adventure in Las Vegas.  Let me tell you, none of The Hangover movies can hold a candle to Lou and Wendell.
 
This book is written like one of the great “dramadies” on the pay-cable networks like HBO or Showtime.  That’s what makes it so good.  Kelly isn’t afraid to pull out all the stops to get a laugh or to emphasize a particularly poignant moment in the lives of our protagonists.  The story is fast-paced, the dialogue is snarkily funny, and the story is intriguing.  Kelly plays the supernatural elements as matter-of fact in the daily lives of the denizens of the Bad Dog universe.  So, no one gets too upset seeing a Werewolf walking down the street.  Unlike the current writer of Rocket Racoon who has to keep underlining the inherent joke of the character and thus stumble him through every story, Kelly knows how to let the humor arising from the joke of a Werewolf Bounty Hunter just flow and arise naturally.
 
It’s not all about laughs though;  Lou has many inner demons with which he struggles, not the least of which is depression.  Kelly is able to capture Lou’s moods in such a way that it makes the reader feel for the character without bringing the reader down too.  That’s a rare writing talent and one of the reasons why Kelly is one of the best writers of comic books in today’s market.
 
Greco’s art and coloring are amazingly well done.  He’s the perfect choice to illustrate this book, and whether he’s drawing Lou in the City of Las Vegas or the desert of Lou’s native Arizona, he makes Lou seem right at home.
 
So add this book to your pull list.  Issue #6 is a double-size issue; so this will be a good jumping on point if you’ve not been reading this book.  I can’t wait until this first arc is compiled into a TPB.  Better yet, I can’t wait until Showtime options it for a pay-cable series.
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Comic Book News Marvel

Review: Nova #11 (Duggan)

The degradation of the Nova mythos continues with the truly terrible NINO #11.
 
The first three-quarters of the issue is devoted to the totally un-interesting minutiae of NINO’s personal life where he’s first said to be blind but seems to walk around surprisingly well for someone who can’t see.  Then there’s some warmed-over teen Peter-Parker-ish clichés about dealing with the school bully followed by some equally hackneyed scenes about school problems and babysitting his sister before he goes off into space and fights some spiders in a scene lifted right out of the new Hobbit film.  Yawn.  Personally, I was rooting for the Spiders to win and mercifully rid us of NINO once and for all.  And frankly, the Spiders should’ve won.  It’s pure contrived silliness to believe that NINO could realistically win such a fight.
 
I see Duggan is going to continue the sad precedents of Loeb/Wells in disrespecting and demolishing everything that was good, exciting, and innovative in true Nova mythos – and replacing it with hackneyed, implausible nonsense.  This character is a totally unlikeable, blundering, idiotic, annoying little jerk.   He’s depicted as being rude and boorish to a very nice teacher who is genuinely concerned about him and sincerely attempting to help him.  Not very heroic.  And not a very good role model for the pre-pubescent audience at whom this travesty of a (so-called “cosmic”) comic book is apparently aimed.
 
Once again NINO’s mother proves she’s unfit and needs to be reported to child protective services.  She’s depicted as skipping out on paying a Doctor’s bill, leaving a proven irresponsible minor in charge of babysitting his sister, and once again allowing 15-year-old NINO to go off into space (on a school night no less) and use vast powers he is not trained to use in life-threatening situations.  NINO and his sister need to be removed from her care as soon as possible, and she needs to spend some time in the County Jail.
 
Being rude to good teachers, skipping out on bill paying, having minor children participate in life-or-death combat operations, glorifying ineffective parenting, disrespecting the importance of education?  Exactly what kind of message is Marvel/Disney trying to send to the kiddies anyway?
 
You know what else is annoying?  NINO’s presumptuousness and the level of obliviousness to plausibility that must be exercised by any reader to actually be entertained by this NINO nonsense.
 
NINO has never been inducted into the Corps by anyone in authority to do so.  
Yet – being untrained, undisciplined, and having no empowerment by any authority – he presumes himself a member of a para-military organization and goes about performing police actions.  It’s no different than a 15-year-old child putting on his deceased police officer father’s uniform, strapping on a gun, and driving around enforcing the law whilst claiming that it was his right to do so because his deceased father was a cop.  Would anybody realistically respect that?  Or would some responsible adults put a stop to it?  I think we all know the answer to that question.
 
Medina’s art was an improvement over last issue, but he’s got to do something about NINO’s mother’s eyes!  Why does he always draw her as sporting these huge, round, “bug-eyes?”  Is she really an alien in disguise?  If so, that would explain a lot.  I guess irresponsible parenting is the norm on her planet.  Curiel’s colors are well done as usual and are really the best part of this waste-of-time-and-money comic book.
 
In a scene lifted right out of Return of the Jedi, Duggan gives us a big bad for next issue (that NINO couldn’t possibly beat in a fair fight) sitting on his throne with a scantily clad girl at his feet.  Yawn.  Hey Duggan, maybe you, Loeb, and Bendis should just admit that cosmic isn’t your thing and go back to writing super-heroic fantasy.  Ripping off popular fantasy, science-fiction, and science-fantasy isn’t good cosmic – and neither are constant quotes from Star Wars.  We had actual science-fiction writers on Nova and Guardians of the Galaxy in the past who actually understood, liked, and respected the characters and the mythos upon which the characters were built, and those stories were BETTER than the watered-down trash you’re cynically dishing up for Avengers-zombie consumption.
 
Friends, if you want good and true Marvel Cosmic, leave Loeb’s NINO and Bendis’ Garbage of the Galaxy on the shelves and buy the Star-Lord reprints from the 1970’s that are now available (even though the cringe-worthy covers depict Bendis’ Star-Lord).  Also, check out John Byrne’s new Star Trek comic book.  As for Duggan’s NINO, let’s all be the responsible adults that NINO’s mother isn’t and boycott NINO so that it can come to a quick, well-deserved end in the dustbin of comicdom where it belongs.
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Comic Book News Marvel

Review: Guardians of the Galaxy #9 (Bendis)

I didn’t think it could get any worse.  I was wrong.  It could and it did.

You know one of those situation comedies that you occasionally watch a few minutes of as you flip through the channels and think to yourself, “How did this trash ever get on TV?”  Guardians of the Galaxy #9 is kind of like that.

It’s literally written like a bad situation comedy.  Bendis is trying to be funny and he thinks he’s writing snappy dialogue between Star-Lord and Rocket or Star-Lord and Agent Brand.  In actuality, it comes across as forced, silly, and totally out of character for all concerned.  Yes – Rocket, Quill, and Brand are all smart-asses and their smart-assy-ness can be funny if it’s done right.  In this case it isn’t done right.  It’s like fingernails on a chalk-board.  It’s like silly “G-rated Family Hour” TV comedy.  It’s nauseatingly stupid and hackneyed.  It talks down to the readers.

Of course, all the Guardians do is act as a second-string team to clear the way for the all powerful and all wonderful Avengers to return to Earth and save the day.  Literally – that’s all they do.  The Guardians just act as door men for the Avengers.  And once the Avengers get back to Earth, they start ordering the Guardians around as if they’re second-raters.  Between Loeb/Wells/Duggan writing all Novas as second-rate or less to The Avengers and now Bendis turning the Guardians into second-rate or less flunkies for The Avengers, I’m starting to get the idea of exactly where cosmic stands in the eyes of Marvel Editorial (as if I didn’t already know).  It bodes ill for the future of Marvel Cosmic as long as it’s in the hands of the so-called “creative” teams of Brevoort, Wacker, Alonso, Duggan, and Bendis.  Hey geniuses at the “House of Ideas” – even if you (mistakenly) believe a character/team is “second-rate” or even if they are in fact second-rate you SHOULD NEVER write them that way.  It makes them look like they have a self-esteem problem.  It makes them look unimportant or only marginally competent.  It turns off readers (ie your CUSTOMERS) and makes readers turn elsewhere for entertainment.  Surely you’d like a few more high sellers to bolster all your Avengers titles as inevitably those sales will fall someday.  Let another team shine in their own corner of the universe far away from Earth and The Avengers – you know, like Guardians of the Galaxy USED TO BE prior to Bendis/Wacker and like Nova USED TO BE before you Lo(e)botomized and NINO’d it.

Even the “action” scenes are lackluster and hackneyed.  You’ve seen this story before – in a couple of Star Wars scenes.  Of course, Bendis’ wholly inadequate understanding of SF is limited to popular SF so it’s no surprise he’d “borrow” those scenes. 

Star-Lord and Rocket basically blunder through the situation all to just press a button and lower the force field so the Avengers can get through.  There’s none of the brilliant tactical skills for which both are notorious.  And Bendis just can’t seem to move beyond treating Rocket as a “joke” character.  He has to keep pointing at Rocket and shouting, “Hey!  This is hilarious!  It’s a raccoon carrying a gun!  Get It?!  It’s funny I’m telling you – FUNNY!!!!!!!”  At least he didn’t attempt to inflict any more catch phrases on poor Rocket this time out.  Thanks for that one small favor, Bendis

So Bendis, since you don’t seem to get it – let me tell you.  You don’t have to keep underlining that Rocket is a gun-carrying Racoon.  We all get that joke because it’s inherent to the character.   The best way to write Rocket is to IGNORE the inherent joke and write him as an intelligent, insightful, brilliant, smart-assy tactician and leader of men.  By the way, that’s the best way to write Star-Lord, too.  Star-Lord is not a 20-something feckless imbecile with boyish good looks designed to make the teenage girls swoon.  He’s an approaching middle-aged complex, grizzled, irritable, intelligent, leader of men.  So quit mangling the characterization and get it right for a change.

I know that various comic book snobs at a particularly Craven Bootlickingly Repugnant website’s forums will insist that the art/coloring in this book is absolutely heavenly.  Of course, they’d also defend in like manner a book with art/coloring of the quality typically found on the refrigerators of parents with pre-school-aged children.  While Francavilla’s art/coloring is certainly not refrigerator quality, I will say that it is not well-suited for cosmic.  Drax is slightly more defined than a green amorphous blob – but only slightly more defined.  There’s very little definition to distinguish among the facial features of most of the humanoid characters.  The villains are interchangeable and so poorly defined that I couldn’t tell who or what they were other than just random humanoid-like creatures shooting at the protagonists.  The coloring is jarringly un-appealing to say the least.  For certain books, this art/coloring style would work well.  This is not one of those books.

At least there’s no letters page so we’re spared any grating comments from so-called “editor” Stephen Wacker and we’re spared from carefully selected letters full of fawning praise from persons who have never read Volume II of GotG (aka The REAL Guardians of the Galaxy rather than Bendis’ Volume III cheap imitations).

Once again, I’m sure the Craven Bootlickingly Repugnant website and the Ingratiating Gonad-less Ninny website will fall all over themselves praising this garbage of the galaxy.  But of course, they’re just like Marvel Editorial in only being satisfied with repetitious super-heroic fantasy and failing to appreciate the better quality super-heroic military science-fiction such as that found in Annihilation, The Thanos Imperative, Nova Volume IV, and Guardians of the Galaxy Volume II.   Maybe there is something we can all agree on though.  I think Bendis would be happier writing family hour TV sit-coms for the Disney Channel.  For his own personal satisfaction, let’s all encourage him to move on to the TV sit-coms and leave cosmic to someone else who actually likes and UNDERSTANDS cosmic and the cosmic characters.

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Comic Book News Marvel

Review: Nova #10 (Wells)

Somewhere Marv Wolfman is wailing in agony at the hack-job being perpetrated against his original concepts by the travesty that is NINO.  Somewhere DnA are gagging in disgust at the bastardization and dumbing down of their concepts.

It’s hard to know where to start with this train wreck as there’s just so much wrong with it that it boggles the mind.  Let’s just go through it sequentially beginning with the primary cover art.

I have an issue with #10’s cover portraying NINO in a stance of triumph with his foot disrespectfully on the helmet of Rich Rider, a for all intents and purposes “deceased” (via editorial fiat) Corpsman. Since all NINO does is blunder and cheat his way through every situation, at best he should be standing humbly behind ALL of his BETTERS with his head bowed in respect. This cover sums up one of the big problems with NINO, its writers/creator, and especially its so-called “editor.” That is, the lack of respect for the BETTER Nova mythos that preceded it.  The variant cover art is just as bad with Rich Rider being given second class treatment when he appears at all.

Also, the #100 sales gimmick is totally disingenuous.  I count 90 issues of true Nova comic books and 10 issues of Nova In Name Only books.  I’m offended that Marvel Editorial would attempt to conflate the two as Nova Volumes I-IV and Annihilation: Nova belong next to the cosmic classics on the shelves of local comic shops, and NINO deserves to be sandwiched between Archie and Scrooge McDuck in the kiddie section.

This issue of NINO is divided into three separate and truly awful stories.  The first story finishes Wells’ boring, unimaginative, hackneyed arc.  Watchers of the Ultimate Spiderman cartoon will recognize the characterization.  NINO is portrayed as particularly arrogant, ignorant, impulsive, and annoying. In other words, he’s portrayed as the true “idiot” Loeb intended when he misguidedly created this obnoxious character and concept. NINO spends a great deal of this story ignorantly denigrating Rich Rider, The New Warriors, and Rich’s comrades in arms during the Annihilation Campaign while, of course, fawning over The Avengers.  Robbie Baldwin and Vance Astrovik cameo and are portrayed as immature idiots.  Infuriatingly, Rich’s role in The Infinity Gauntlet is denigrated and he’s mis-portrayed as an un-needed second-stringer when in fact he was the only New Warrior chosen to be in the first wave of the strike force against Thanos – and did in fact attack Thanos after Thanos mopped the floor with the vaunted Avengers.  Of course, this sorry excuse for a story ends with a smarmy single mom and son scene so nauseatingly corny that I nearly drained a bottle of Pepto-Bismol for relief.

Pepto-Bismol is no match for the second story.  To tolerate it, I had to break out my finest and most potent Absinthe.  Duggan’s first NINO story carries on the sad tradition of NINO idiocy patented by Loeb and carried on by Wells.  NINO is once again inexplicably involved in kill-or-be-killed combat light years from Earth – but he uses silly video-game terminology to describe and make light of his actions throughout the fight. Meanwhile, his mother proves once and for all that she’s a totally unfit parent as she meets with NINO’s Principal and covers for NINO’s school truancy so he can continue to skip school and participate in kill-or-be-killed combat.  So Marvel Editorial and Disney – are you trying to send a message to the kiddies that playing video games is more important than attending school?  Tell me, if they don’t attend school, how are they going to learn how to read?  Won’t illiteracy negatively impact your bottom line?  That plus glorifying child combatants places your NINO stories in direct conflict with Western Civilization’s values and morals.  How do you justify such reprehensible positions?  Maybe the CCA needs to be revived to look over your shoulders as you’re not doing such a good job of policing yourselves – especially for a book aimed not at the adult audience that can afford to buy comic books, but at the kiddies relying on the adults to fork over money to buy comic books.  Maybe you need to re-examine the demographic you want to reach and then do the smart thing and ditch NINO.

Moving on; the second story begs many questions such as why a “Black Nova” is engaging in police actions usually reserved for “Gold Novas;” who exactly is processing distress calls since the Worldmind is inactive and presumably destroyed, and why does the little idiot go blind at the end of the story when Novas are supposed to have a healing factor?  I can only hope that the blindness is followed by muteness, deafness, and permanent paralysis from the neck down so we can be rid of the little idiot once and for all.  I know it’s a vain hope, but I can indulge a dream of a better world without NINO can’t I?  I think this sorry excuse for a story telegraphs to us what Duggan’s run as writer is going to be like.  In short – more clichés, more dumbing down, more puerile silliness, and continued total disrespect of Nova continuity and established concepts.

Saving the worst for last, Duggan gives us a glimpse of issue #1000 of NINO featuring an adult NINO presiding over his child’s birthday party.  This was truly a disgusting waste of time and paper complete with “art” comparable to that typically found hanging on the refrigerators of parents with pre-school aged children.

Speaking of art, Barberi and Lopez’s art for the first story was barely acceptable, and Medina’s art for the second story was only slightly better.  Medina’s rendering of NINO’s mother in one panel made her so scarily bug-eyed that I had to do a double-take to make sure she wasn’t morphing into some sort of monster.  So even the art – once the only saving grace of this waste of time book – is slipping.  Curiel’s colors are nicely done but aren’t enough to save the day.

Of course, the capstone of the train wreck is insufferable “editor” Stephen Wacker’s letters page.  I rolled my eyes when he disingenuously dedicated this issue to the very fans he so often derides and denigrates in the forum of an un-named but Craven Bootlickingly Repugnant website well known for allowing him to verbally abuse fans but protecting him from the ire of the very fans he has insulted.  Of course, he picks nothing but letters dripping with fawning praise from readers who admit they never read a Nova series before and thus have no basis of comparison.  If they had such a basis, maybe they wouldn’t be so complimentary.  At least the Indie Comic Books have the courage to print dissenting letters in their letters pages.

There was one nice touch – and that was a thumbnail reprinting of all previous Nova series covers from Volume I through Volume IV.  Too bad even that was sullied by the inclusion of NINO covers 1-10.

Marvel Editorial is always quick to dismiss any discontent with NINO as the disgruntled ramblings of a minority of difficult to please fanboys.  Of course, Marvel Editorial is so obsessed with selling formulaic super-heroic fantasy that they truly can’t seem to see how they’ve taken away everything that was good with cosmic and replaced it with street level comic book clichés.  It’s analogous to some insightless executive replacing Star Trek with Lost in Space and then wondering why fans are upset.  And I’m sure some Craven Bootlickingly Repugnant and cosmically Ignorant Gonad-less Ninny websites will fall all over themselves praising the waste of time, money, and paper that is NINO #10 – but those websites have never been able to appreciate well told cosmic tales so their praise should be taken lightly and in that context.  Like Marvel Editorial, those websites are also obsessed with hackneyed “super-heroic fantasy” and can’t appreciate the refreshing difference of super-heroic military science-fiction and science-fantasy that made Marvel Cosmic so special prior to its hijacking and dumbing-down to mundane street-level super-heroic fantasy at the hands of Loeb and Bendis.  We appreciators of true cosmic stories remember how the true Nova – OUR Nova, Rich Rider, was out saving the universe while the vaunted Avengers pettily quarreled amongst themselves in their ridiculous Civil War.  We remember how OUR true Nova, Rich Rider, saved the universe from Thanos and E-Vell; while the vaunted Avengers have made a mess of things in the disappointing Infinity event – an Avengers vehicle thinly disguised as a cosmic story.  And finally, we appreciators of true cosmic stories know that Loeb’s NINO and Bendis’ Garbage of the Galaxy are critical failures and betrayals of the very fans who allowed through their loyal support pre-Loeb/Bendis Marvel Cosmic to evolve into something special and unique among comic books.

Op-Ed: The Loeb-otomization of Nova
Marvel Comic Book News

Op-Ed: The Loeb-otomization of Nova

The Cosmic Triune

An Opinion-Editorial

“The Lo(e)botomization of Nova”

 

Lobotomization:  to deprive of intelligence, vitality, or sensitivity.

                                                     -Definition courtesy of Merriam-Webster Dictionary

 

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According to Marvel Editorial, Issue #10 of NINO is the 100-issue mark of “Nova” comic books published.  I dis-respectfully disagree.  I count 90 issues of true Nova comic books and 10 issues of Nova In Name Only comic books.   It’s insulting to equate Nova with NINO in any way, but Marvel Editorial’s whole approach to the Nova fans since the “hiatus” of Volume IV has been insulting.  They frequently talk about Rich and NINO in the same breath as if there’s no difference between the history of the two.  Hey Marvel Editorial – they’re not interchangeable.  Rich was great.  NINO is a farce.  And a sub-standard farce at that.

Sure I know it’s just a marketing gimmick to try to improve the rapidly declining sales of the ongoing insult to and dis-respect of true Nova fans that is NINO, but I think this “occasion” calls for an analysis of how the “creative team” of Loeb, Wacker, Bendis, Brevoort, and Alonso took a good concept and ruined it for all the wrong reasons.  I liken their process of turning Nova into NINO to the above defined dis-credited Neurosurgical procedure of lobotomization as popularly portrayed in such movies as One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and Sucker Punch – and I refer to their process as “Lo(e)botomization.”

 

The Deprivation of Intelligence:

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Loeb himself has been directly quoted in various articles saying NINO should be written as an “idiot.”  I could stop writing this section directly after such a quote, but I think it’s important to detail how this Lo(e)botomization is made a reality and how it affects fans of the true Nova concepts.

Let’s start with a little Nova history.  In 1976, Rich Rider was created and portrayed as a late teen/young adult struggling to learn how to control and use the powers he had been granted by an emergency deputization.  Finally, in the Annihilation event, he was transformed into a powerful and mature leader of men.  Fans both old and new praised this metamorphosis, and Nova Volume IV became the best Nova series to date with its imaginative, intelligent, action-packed storylines and its new and improved hero.  Of course, it received none of the marketing hype and support that NINO has enjoyed, and it was eventually placed on “hiatus.”  What we didn’t know is that prior to “hiatus” it was apparently decided by Alonso et al to declare Rich “dead” even though Volume IV writers, Abnett and Lanning, have been quoted as saying that in their storyline Rich was never dead but merely temporarily “marooned” in the Cancerverse.  Obviously, Rich was declared “dead via editorial fiat” in order to create room for Loeb’s new “idiot” character, Sam Alexander (aka NINO).

Setting aside Alonso’s disrespect for and disregard of Rich Rider fans for a moment, his decision marks the beginning of the “deprivation of intelligence” aspect of the Lo(e)botomization of Nova.  Loeb immediately created a 14-year-old Peter Parker-ish character (without the Parker intellect), hi-jacked and watered-down the look and concepts of the Nova mythos, eliminated all true cosmic elements by plopping the little “idiot” on Earth in a one-horse town, and set out to appeal to a pre-pubescent audience (and to a small post-pubescent audience who just can’t seem to get enough of hackneyed teen angst storylines) with silly, implausible stories involving the “idiot,” NINO, blundering and cheating his way through every situation.  To say that the NINO storylines are juvenile, puerile, un-imaginative, boring, and intelligence-insulting in comparison to Volume IV would be an understatement.

To make matters worse, Loeb has presented no reason why NINO deserves to have or keep the powers other than that the powers are “inherited” by NINO from his drunken father’s “magic helmet.”  Even worse, 14-year-old NINO has had no training to use powers equivalent to the power of a tactical- nuclear-weapon-carrying fighter jet and is continually put in kill-or-be-killed combat situations with the full knowledge and consent of his (apparently negligent and unfit) parents.

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So readers are expected to believe that an “idiot” child can responsibly confront situations on Earth and in space for which he has no prior experience/training; that he can safely handle powers that could level a city without endangering himself and the public; that his parents have no problem with him constantly risking his life sometimes light years from home, and that everyone in the Marvel Universe is completely fine with it?  I don’t know about other people, but I like a modicum of plausibility in cosmic stories.   Loeb’s scenario for NINO is intelligence insultingly implausible.

And there’s a moral issue, too.  Why does Marvel/Disney believe it is perfectly moral to un-willingly induct a minor child into a para-military organization and place said child in kill-or-be-killed combat situations?  The rest of Western Civilization would disagree on moral grounds, and even as this article is being written the United Nations is forming a resolution condemning use of child combatants.  Since Disney makes its money selling entertainment to kiddies, do they really want to send the message that minor children performing combat operations is perfectly acceptable to their company?  If so, I can’t wait to read their official explanation justifying their position.

 

The Deprivation of Vitality

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In Annihilation, Nova Volume IV, and The Thanos Imperative, Giffen and DnA gave us a true Nova – a mature, powerful, effective, true leader of men actually leading other powerful beings to confront and overcome universal threats.   These were big stories with edge-of-your-seat excitement that left the reader anxiously anticipating the release of the next issue.  These stories talked up to their readership with adult themes and high-stakes situations where literally anything might happen.

In contrast, we have NINO stuck in a small town dealing with schoolyard bullies and blundering/cheating his way through the occasional boring confrontation with a super-villain.  Yawn.  Have you read that teen super-hero story somewhere before?  How many times?  Yeah – me too.  Loeb, Brevoort, and Wacker present this hackneyed, puerile non-sense that talks down to readers as if it’s something new and special.  In actuality, it’s old, boring, listless, clichéd, and utterly predictable.  Loeb even made sure to kill off all the “Black Novas,” the only truly innovative and exciting idea he had in putting together the ongoing travesty that is NINO.  Those characters were much more interesting than NINO – and readers said so.  Once again, Marvel Editorial ignored the readership and retreated to the clichéd old angst-ridden teen superhero formula.

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What was vital about Rich Rider’s Nova, and potentially vital about the “Black Novas” had they been developed, was the “military science-fiction” aspect of the characters/storylines.  What made modern Marvel Cosmic (i.e. the Marvel Cosmic of the Annihilation event forward until hi-jacked by Loeb and Bendis) vital, new and interesting were the elements incorporated from both popular military science-fiction/science-fantasy (e.g. Star Trek and Star Wars), hard-core classic written military science-fiction (e.g. Lensmen and Starship Troopers) and written heroic fantasy (e.g. John Carter of Mars).  This was made possible because the pre-Loeb/Bendis Marvel Cosmic was niche-audience focused and largely ignored by the “super-heroic fantasy” selling, mainstream-oriented Marvel Editorial staff.  Once a Guardians of the Galaxy movie was announced and expected to be a big hit, Cosmic suddenly moved from “neglected niche” to the forefront.  It then, of course, had to be made to conform to the “super-heroic fantasy” formula that Marvel sells, so the very essence or vitality of what made Volume IV of Nova and Volume II of Guardians of the Galaxy was discarded and replaced.  In the case of Star-Lord, we went from the Giffen/DnA  “approaching middle-aged,” scruffy Han Solo-ish characterization to a 20-something feckless dream-boat-ish characterization.  In the case of Nova, the powerful, mature, leader of men that was Rich Rider was replaced by an “idiotic,” blundering, immature, obnoxious, teen Peter Parker-ish character sans the saving grace of the Parker intellect.  In both cases, the Cosmic aspects of the characters were made incidental rather than central, and we’re left with un-interesting characters obsessed with the petty and parochial problems of Earth.  Jeez, Marvel Editorial!  Don’t you have enough Earthbound super-heroes to deal with Earth’s petty problems without sucking away the vitality of the cosmic heroes just to make them conform to your comic book selling formula?  Ever consider maybe actually promoting a different approach?  Maybe if you’d supported DnA’s efforts the way you’ve supported Loeb and Bendis’, this article would never have had to be written.

 

The Deprivation of Sensitivity

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I’m not using sensitivity to mean “emotionality.”  Everyone knows Loeb has loaded NINO with enough smarmy, maudlin, and/or puerile sugar-sweet moments to send diabetic readers into a coma.  I know Disney loves that garbage – just watch any of their child-oriented movies if you don’t believe me.  For those of us over the age of 8 though – it just comes across as corny and annoying.

I’m using sensitivity as it’s used in a medical-scientific context to mean “reactivity to external forces.”  I’ve already discussed how NINO reacts to the external forces of plausibility and morality.  NINO gets a grade of “F” in reaction to those two external forces, and I needn’t re-iterate the ground already covered in previous sections of this article.  I touched upon what the fans really want under the vitality section and will cover it in more detail now in this section.

Brevoort has made it clear over on his Tumblr page that Marvel Editorial expected a backlash from Rich Rider fans once it was clear that Rich was to be replaced with NINO.  He has also made it clear that he thinks Rich had so few fans that the backlash would be of no consequence to Marvel or to NINO’s sales.  Alonso made it clear in several interviews that he thought Nova fans would buy ANYTHING with the word “Nova” smeared across the cover and he expected Rich Rider fans to “embrace” NINO.  Loeb simply said Rich’s story was “over.”  And Wacker has never missed an opportunity to insult, denigrate, and otherwise disrespect the Rich Rider character and Rich Rider fans in general over at a Certain Boot-lickingly Repellant website’s forums where he is given free rein to do so and where the moderators protect him from any fan talk-back.  Does that sound like sensitivity to a set of fans many of whom loyal Nova readers since Rich Rider’s premiere in 1976?  Heck – that doesn’t even conform to Disney’s model of hospitality.  Marvel Editorial Staff – you need to go on down to Orlando and undergo Disney’s Hospitality Training course.  You should probably send Wacker and Brevoort two weeks early since they’ll need the remedial (i.e. “slow learner”) version.

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Fact is, NINO is a failure.  It’s a failure conceptually, morally, in entertainment value, and – increasingly – in sales.  Potential buyers are voting with their dollars and for the most part they’re voting thumbs down.  NINO sells less than Volume IV sold without all the hype.  NINO has failed to be embraced in large part by the Rich Rider fans who feel insulted and alienated by the treatment shown them by Marvel’s Editorial staff.  Heck – even the cover to NINO #10 lavishly portrays an insult to long-term Nova fans with “idiot” NINO standing in a pose of defiant triumph with his foot on Rich’s helmet.  There’s a reason why something similar is NOT seen on any of our actual war memorials.  It’s because that’s a universal sign of disrespect to a fallen enemy.  Apparently that’s how Wacker et al view the Rich Rider fans and they’ve not so subtly made that clear with NINO #10’s cover.  If they wanted to show respect, NINO should have been placed standing behind his fallen BETTERS with his head bowed and his hands folded in front of him.  In a way though, NINO #10’s cover sums it all up.  Marvel Editorial isn’t sensitive to the desires of the Rider Nova fans.  Heck – they didn’t even care what we wanted.  They just wanted to dish up some warmed-over and “Lo(e)botomized” Spider-man.

Suggested further reading:

Marvel Editorial to Cosmic Fans:  “We’re just not that into you.”
 

Article by Timelord

Dedicated to Loeb, Bendis, Wacker, Brevoort, and Alonso for their tireless efforts toward making Marvel Cosmic mundane enough to appeal to the lowest common denominator of comic book reader.

The opinions reflected herein are purely the opinions of the author of this article and do not necessarily reflect the official opinions of CosmicBookNews.

Discuss This In The Cosmic Book News Marvel Comics Forums

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Comic Book News Marvel

Review: Guardians of the Galaxy #8 (Bendis)

Bendis’ “Dark Reign” of Marvel Cosmic continues with the travesty that is GotG #8. The characterization is just bad. That’s all there is to it.  Either Bendis doesn’t understand the characters or he’s hell-bent on creating the perfect antithesis of DnA’s vastly superior characterization. Whatever his motivation may be, he apparently doesn’t understand that what

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Comic Book News

Review: Guardians of the Galaxy #7 (Bendis)

And the sad Avenger-ization of Guardians of the Galaxy continues.

I guess it all boils down to the hype surrounding the movie, but I honestly don’t know how this book keeps its 60K readership.  It’s been seven issues now and nothing much has happened.  I guess the Avengers-zombies buying this book have been conditioned by years of Bendis’ writing to put up with it.

Star-Lord is written completely out of character.  All he does is make a series of silly references to old pop culture.  I guess Bendis thinks that’s cute.  It isn’t.  It’s annoying.  He comes across as an immature idiot – not a mature leader of men.  That was apparently Bendis’ intention because – as always expected – he writes Tony Stark as the real leader of the team and even has Tony call Star-Lord out about the silliness.   It’s sad to see how Bendis has so corrupted and degraded the concepts that made Volume II of Guardians of the Galaxy great enough to warrant a big budget movie adaptation.

Apparently Bendis doesn’t know that Drax was originally a human and has all of the memories of his life as a human as he writes Drax as being unfamiliar with the religious concept of “Heaven.”   Of course, this is nothing new.  All of the characters are written out of character.  Bendis is re-defining GotG to be just another Avengers clone of a comic book – talking heads, interchangeable characters, and of course highlighting the real Avenger on the team, Iron Man, to the exclusion of everyone else.

This snooze-fest of an issue features the GotG team conducting a silly and boring interrogation of Angela led by Tony Stark (of course) – then simply letting her go.  That’s it.  Honestly.  That’s all there is.  No wonder Gaiman tried to minimize his involvement in writing this turkey.  He was probably embarrassed by how bad the writing truly is and ran the other way wishing he could back out or maybe use a pseudonym.

Whereas previously the art was the only saving grace of this book, it must be pointed out that the art is slipping in quality.  Ponsor’s colors remain top notch – with him making the best of what little he has to work with.

Of course, Wacker is back on the letters page.  I greet that with about as much welcome as I greet a phone call from a telemarketer as I sit down to dinner.  And if you can believe it, Wacker is even more grating than said telemarketer.  I smirked in unsurprised amusement when Wacker admitted he has never been a fan of cosmic.  Hey Wacker – that shows big time.  Truth is, cosmic could be improved substantially and immediately if he resigned from any involvement in it and took all the other non-cosmic-fans (i.e. Bendis, Loeb, and Brevoort) with him – never again to darken cosmic’s door.

One worry is that Wacker mentions the Cancerverse as an upcoming storyline.  I greet that with absolute dread.  This “creative” (and I use the word, creative, lightly in associating it with Wacker and Bendis) team is bound to pillage, abuse, disrespect, and otherwise fark-up the interesting and innovative concepts pioneered by DnA.  I fear that this bodes ill for the hinted at return of Rich Rider as this “creative” team will no doubt do a “Parallax” treatment on Rich, bringing him back as a Shuma-Gorath corrupted villain to be killed off (permanently this time) to cement NINO in place as their one and only “Nova.”  That would be consistent with their ongoing disrespect and disregard of true cosmic fans.

So, if you want to do something to stop the further degradation of cosmic, do the sensible thing and vote with your dollars by leaving this turkey of a comic book un-purchased on the shelf of your local comic shop.  Then Wacker, Bendis, Loeb, Brevoort and Alonso can move on to fark-up something else and perhaps a new generation of true cosmic fans will come along and bring about the cosmic renaissance true cosmic fans long for and deserve.

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Comic Book News Marvel

Review: Nova #9 (Wells)

This issue reaches a new low. 

Bad enough that NINO’s parents criminally allow a 14-year-old boy to keep the “magic helmet” and actually use vast powers which he is not in any way trained to use, but in this issue his mother encourages him to engage in kill-or-be-killed combat.  Even Vance Astrovik points this out in the course of the story.  As Vance says, it’s a crime to aid and abet a minor in such an activity. 

Is that the message Marvel and Disney really want to be sending to the pre-pubescent crowd at whom this comic book is aimed?

And, of course, in order to “win” the fight with a vastly superior foe, NINO has to dishonorably break his word and cheat.  Pathetic.  The antagonist repeatedly points out that NINO is an embarrassment to the Nova Corps.  I must agree.  All he does is cheat and blunder his way through every situation.  It seems that Wacker, Loeb, Brevoort, Alonso and Bendis are hell-bent on turning the Nova Corps into the “Keystone Cops” of the universe – a slapstick farce of a para-military organization rather than a force to be reckoned with.  It’s sad, really, how misguided Marvel Editorial has become with their re-boot of cosmic.  And of course, they just double-down with their misguidedness: ignoring fan feedback and arrogantly producing a cover for NINO’s next issue that deliberately mocks and insults the long term true Rich Rider Nova fans.

And what’s with this issue’s cover?  It has absolutely nothing to do with anything that happens in the issue.  All it did was get my hopes up for a few seconds that NINO would see his well-deserved demise.  Sadly, he survives and the interesting antagonist is unfairly punished.

Justice and Speedball are so written out of character as to be essentially un-recognizable.  They’ve both been regressed in age, experience, and maturity to slap-sticky characters on par with NINO, and they just stand around and don’t do much of anything but make a silly comment on occasion.  That’s a shame to completely ignore Vance’s maturation from his time with The Avengers and Robbie’s maturation during his time as Penance with the Dark Avengers

Once again, Marvel Editorial makes a bad call with the direction in which to take these characters.  This is no doubt a telegraphing of the tone and target audience of the upcoming New Warriors series – silly slapstick aimed at the pre-pubescent crowd.

The art and coloring have been the saving graces of past issues of this waste of a series, but even the art and coloring have begun to slip – resembling the cartoonish style from the Ultimate Spiderman cartoon.  And don’t get me started on the misspells and grammatical errors.  I guess Wacker was too busy insulting and denigrating Rich Rider Nova fans on the message boards to actually proof-read this issue.

If you see this train wreck that is NINO on the shelves of your local comic shop – do yourself, your bank account, and Nova fandom a big favor and leave it there.  Vote with your dollars and send a message to Wacker, Brevoort, Bendis, Alonso and Loeb that you don’t like the hack-job they’ve perpetrated against cosmic.

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Comic Book News Marvel

Review: Nova #8 (Wells)

Medina and Curiel deliver some eye-catching art and coloring in this issue. Too bad their talents are wasted on such a sub-par concept, storyline, and leading character. If you like puerile comic book clichés, slapsticky silliness, and all the awe and wonder of an episode of “Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo” – then you’ll absolutely love issue #8. 

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry when Thanos began his Snidely Whiplash routine. I was just waiting for him to don a handlebar mustache and begin twisting it in glee as he contemplated destroying Dudley Do-Right….er….I mean, NINO. Then, Dudley……..er……I mean, NINO, bumbles through the rest of the issue. My favorite cock-up was his taking off his “magic” helmet in mid-flight and losing his powers in a move worthy of Wily Coyote. I swear, you could substitute Snidely Whiplash for Thanos and Dudley Do-Right (or Wily Coyote) for NINO and this story would read the same. I hoped against hope that he wouldn’t catch that helmet before hitting the ground – but alas, no such luck as the little twerp defies physics once again.

What are the writers/editors trying to accomplish? Making the legacy of the Nova concepts an object of ridicule? They’re succeeding.

The much touted return of “The New Warriors” was also underwhelming as the characterization for Speedball and Justice was totally off the mark. And why would NINO hit someone who is not threatening him? Not very heroic.

I’m definitely rooting for Thanos and his minions to put NINO out of our misery – but sadly I know it’ll never happen. The powers at Marvel are stupidly determined to continue the Lo(e)botomization of the Nova concepts.

There was one bright spot. At least we didn’t have to suffer through another letters page from Carnival Barker…..er….I mean “editor” Wacker. Hey Wacker, make that a habit. You weren’t missed. So once again Wacker et al deliver a puerile, hackneyed, and thoroughly uninteresting issue aimed squarely at the 8-year-old crowd who watch NINO on the USM cartoon. If you’re over the age of 8, don’t bother with this book. It’s not for you. And it’s definitely not for cosmic fans of any age. 

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Comic Book News

Review: Guardians of the Galaxy #6 (Bendis)

It’s really a shame that this book is called Guardians of the Galaxy when it’s such a pale imitation of all the preceding much better efforts using the same name. I wish Bendis, Brevoort, Wacker, Alonso, et al would just get it over with and re-name this book Space Avengers or, more accurately, Avengers in Low Earth Orbit, or my personal favorite: Holy Fark! Not ANOTHER Avengers Book!

Let’s face it; Bendis’ version of GotG is just another Avengers book. And even though the GotG is made up of people who actually have valuable knowledge about how the cosmos works, the politics of the local group of galaxies, and the advanced technology of the great powers of the local group – they’re relegated to wasting time protecting Earth from fairly minor threats while Earth’s protectors are in way over their heads out in the cosmos. Make any sense to you? Me neither.

So the woman who fought Ronan to a stand-still can’t take Angela? So the entire team that has fought The Magus, Thanos, The Phalanx, etc. (and won) can’t take Angela? But a single shot from Quill’s element gun lays her out? Right. Good one Bendis. And it only took you the entire issue to pull off that particular deus ex machina.

As usual, Iron Man is completely out of place, and Bendis writes most of the rest of the cast out of character – particularly Drax. At least he’s stopped trying to create stupid catch-phrases for Rocket. A great improvement in this book could be accomplished simply by dropping Iron Man from the cast and sending him back to Earth where he belongs.

“Editor” Wacker must shoulder a large part of the blame for the decline in Marvel Cosmic’s quality. He along with Bendis and Loeb seem hell-bent on erasing everything that made DnA’s revamping of cosmic into something worthy of a big budget movie, and replacing it with hackneyed storylines aimed squarely at the lowest common denominator of comic book readers. Thankfully we’re spared Wacker’s smarmy glad-handing of easily pleased non-cosmic fans as there’s no letters page to suffer through this issue. Coipel’s art is certainly respectable, but it’s not quite up to the bar set by Pichelli. It’s a shame the writing is not up to par with the art as Pichelli makes an excellent addition to the artists who render cosmic well. Ponsor’s colors remain at their usual eye-catching best. As usual, the art and coloring are the best things about this book.

I suppose the movie hype and the appeal to Avengers-zombies are the elements that keep this book selling as well as it does. That’s too bad as these characters deserve such better treatment than they’re now receiving. In the hands of a capable cosmic writer, GotG could be great again. As it is, Bendis’ GotG is just another Avengers-like glorification of mediocrity which is not truly written as cosmic and not truly meant for cosmic fans.

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Comic Book News Marvel

Review: Nova #7 (Wells)

I finally found something to like about NINO! Issue #7 cured my insomnia! Yup; soporific #7 is a cliché-filled snooze-fest. Sadly, it further sullies and denigrates the legacy of the true hero whose name and title were stolen to smear across the cover of this intelligence-insulting excuse for a “cosmic” comic book.

Staying true to his Ultimate Spider-Man cartoon roots, NINO is particularly annoying in this issue as he bumbles from one pointless “adventure” to another. Whether he’s misinterpreting a non-dangerous situation as dangerous or nearly botching another “hero’s” rescue of civilians from harm; he’s written as an ineffective “idiot” (Loeb’s words – not mine) in every sense of the word. I found myself agreeing with Spock’s advice to him to just go home and watch Justin Bieber. No teen screw-up cliché is missed. Just roll your eyes at each one between swigs of Pepto-Bismol.

In the introduction, we’re told that NINO’s mom gave him permission to use his powers. Question: Wouldn’t that constitute child endangerment? Both parents have given a 15-year-old “idiot” permission to use the powers of a Nova Centurion – essentially powers equivalent to a tactical nuclear weapon. Is that responsible parenting? I wouldn’t want the most mature 15-year-old handling tactical nukes – much less an “idiot” like NINO. Anybody got the number for Arizona Child Protective Services? I want to report the Alexander’s so their parental rights can be terminated for sending a minor into kill-or-be-killed combat. Maybe Arizona will confiscate the “magic helmet,” too, and we can be done with NINO forever. When I consider the difference between what we had with the Rich Rider Nova – a powerful, effective hero – and what we have with NINO – a bumbling, ineffective idiot – I just shake my head in disgust.

NINO is an embarrassment to the legacy of the Nova concepts.

Used car salesman…….er………I mean, “editor,” Stephen Wacker, returns to the letters page this month. As usual, he cherry picks and publishes almost exclusively letters of fawning praise sent by persons self-professed as having no prior knowledge of cosmic or of any previous incarnation of Nova. One fawning NINO fan asks about Rich and is told that answers are forthcoming. In response, I invoke the ancient comic book ululation, “Noooooooooooooooooooo!” I don’t want Wacker, Brevoort, Loeb, Bendis, et al, having anything to do with Rich Rider. They’ve proven they don’t understand cosmic, don’t care about the feelings of the fans, and don’t respect the Nova legacy in the slightest. They’re only interested in slinging out “pseudo-cosmic” versions of teen Spiderman and “pseudo-cosmic” Avengers in near Earth orbit in a cynical attempt to entice Spider-zombies and Avengers-zombies to buy NINO and Guardians of the Galaxy. I use the word pseudo-cosmic because the cosmic aspects of their storylines are incidental rather than central – and every storyline is Earthcentric. Substitute teen Peter Parker for NINO and any of the casts from any of the seemingly thousands of Avengers teams for the GotG cast, and the stories would read exactly the same.

As usual, the art and coloring are the only things that keep NINO from being a complete waste of glossy paper for which too many brave trees needlessly sacrificed their lives. Medina and Curiel deliver some eye-catching work. It’s not enough to save this hot mess of a concept though – so save your money and buy good and true cosmic – like the Warlord of Mars series or Invincible.

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Comic Book News Marvel

Review: Thanos Rising #4

It’s faint praise, but this is the best and most tolerable issue of this series thus far. I wasn’t left wanting to throw it against the wall in disgust. That’s really the best I can say about it.

That being said, simply put – this storyline will make you disrespect Thanos in nearly every way. Whereas before Thanos has been written as a cunning, powerful “magnificent bastard” with a poorly explained death fetish (that most writers have wisely left only cursorily explored), this series portrays Thanos as a despicable psychotic bully who tortures and murders his family of origin, wives, children, and random strangers in a twisted and muddled attempt to win the sexual affections of what may or may not be a paranoid hallucination of the avatar of “Death.”

This attempt to psychoanalyze Thanos succeeds so well that it actually weakens the character. One is left with a mixture of disgust and pity for the character rather than the begrudging respect he has earned in past iterations. One is left rooting for this character to be somehow put out of his (and our) misery for good rather than somehow surviving to vex our favorite heroes another day. Before this series I had a begrudging like for Thanos; now I can barely stand to look at his depiction.

This is not how Thanos should be written, and it is very poor preparation for the upcoming movies featuring him as the lead villain. I just shake my head is disgust and bafflement at the decisions Marvel Editorial is making in regard to cosmic. It really was better when the “architects” were ignoring cosmic and relegating cosmic to the fringe of the Marvel Universe. At least that allowed great writers (e.g. Starlin, Giffen, DnA) to do great and innovative things with the cosmic characters. This attempt to mainstream cosmic and increase sales by appealing to the lowest common denominator of comic book reader (e.g. Avengers buyers) has only resulted in abject mediocrity in storylines (e.g., Loeb’s NINO; Aaron’s Thanos; Bendis’ GotG) and mischaracterization of beloved cosmic characters (e.g., Bendis’ GotG; Aaron’s Thanos) rendered by writers who would be best left writing stories about Earthbound superheroes running around Long Island.

The art and colors are certainly respectable, but they’re not so impressive that they can save this mini-series. I will be very glad when this series is over and mercifully forgotten. It’s just trying too hard to be a cosmic version of Dexter. I know there’s a small group of Thanos fans. My sympathies to you as this series must be difficult for you to tolerate.

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Comic Book News Marvel

Review: Nova #6 (Wells)

The Loeb-otomization of the Nova concepts and legacy continues.

This snooze-fest of an issue finds NINO returning from his cameo in AvX. You know – the one where he says he has to ask his mom’s permission to join the Avengers. He asks and she says no. Finally, someone makes a reasonable adult decision about a 14-year-old participating in kill-or-be-killed combat. Or so it seems. Then there’s some boring conversation between NINO and his mom. Then NINO sees his would be girlfriend who thinks he might be NINO. Then NINO has a confrontation with the school bully and doesn’t use his powers even though he wants to use them. Then there’s more boring conversation with the school Principal. Then there’s some pseudo teen rebellion nonsense in response to the Principal. Then there’s more boring conversation with mom where she relents. Then NINO flies off to Long Island to look for trouble. With all the talking heads, clichés, and lack of action – you’d swear Bendis wrote this one. But he didn’t.

Zeb Wells wrote this one, and he made good on his promise to keep up the Loeb-otomization by continuing to write the lead character as an annoying idiot.

I recently read an article where Rich Rider’s Nova was said to be Marvel’s most “identifiable cosmic hero.” I know some would argue Silver Surfer or Captain Marvel, and others Thor, but I would argue that Silver Surfer, Captain Mar-Vell, and Thor are not human. I think it’s more accurate to say Rich Rider’s Nova was Marvel’s most identifiable Human cosmic character, and in his latest iteration he embodied what the fans wanted from such a character – strength, competence, confidence – a “Cosmic Captain America” as it were as leader of the Nova Corps. Instead, Loeb, Brevoort, and Wacker – in a total misread and misunderstanding of cosmic and cosmic fandom – replaced the “Cosmic Captain America” with NINO and a series of silly, cutesy, smarmily sentimental, predictable comic book clichés aimed squarely at the prepubescent crowd. One half-way expects Scooby-Doo and Scrappy-Doo to show up and help NINO solve a mystery.

It’s telling that what garnered the most interest from readers was the Black-Ops Nova Corps. That sort of storyline is the basis for a great deal of popular SF. Cosmic fans grew up with Star Trek and Star Wars. They’re interested in military science-fiction. Of course, the architects got rid of the Black-Ops Novas faster than they did Rich Rider. Hey architects: try listening to the fans for a change. The tanking sales on NINO should be telling you something – and it’s not that it would make a great little Disney movie for the kiddies. Mr. Perlmutter – does Disney really want to send the message that child soldiers are a good idea (especially when the UN is in the process of condemning child combatants as internationally immoral)?

On the up side, Medina’s art is impressive as are Curiel’s colors. The art and colors are the most interesting thing about the book as usual. And Medina’s rendering of NINO makes him look slightly less ridiculous wearing the uniform of a soldier.

What can be said about the letters page that can’t be said of any annoying used car sales pitch on any late night TV commercial? Editor (and I use the term loosely) Stephen Wacker even has the audacity to claim he’s a Rich Rider fan. He certainly has a funny way of showing it when he’s not blowing smoke on the NINO letters page. I remember innumerable instances where he’s posted derogatory comments about Rich Rider and Rich Rider fans at a certain website (that shall remain nameless – wink -) that caters to fawning, undeserved praise of NINO and quashes any dissent.

So save your money on this one guys. It’s really not worth adding to anybody’s collection. You saw this same story with Peter Parker and Flash Thompson back in the day. No need to read it again. If you want that – go back and read Peter Parker and Flash Thompson. Those were better told stories.

At the end of the issue, NINO asks, “Who needs a hero?” The answer is, “We do. And it’s not you, NINO!”

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Comic Book News

Review: Guardians of the Galaxy #3 (Bendis)

If I were to free associate, the first words that come to mind in describing this issue are: boring, un-imaginative, hackneyed, wordy, un-balanced in terms of verbiage vs. action, and un-exciting in the single action sequence. I could go on but it’s just too sad to see the decline from the imaginative, exciting, fast-paced, and fresh Volume II to the terribly generic and ponderous Volume III. Yep – the architects got their hands on it and turned it into just another sub-average Avengers-like book, and it painfully obviously shows.

There’s a lot of exposition about the Guardians in the first three quarters of this book, but the Guardians themselves only appear in the last few pages of the book for a real yawner of a battle sequence followed by Star-Lord, once again, acting out his daddy issues. Basically, Star-Lord commits treason, and it’s hard to see how he could ever realistically reconcile with Spartax in general and his father in particular. Now there’s a writing black hole that even Gaiman is going to have a hard time fixing as it basically makes the Guardians pirates now and forevermore. What a dumb decision. Royal outlaw you can come back from – royal traitor – well – not so much. Does Bendis actually put any thought into this hack writing?

Poor Rocket is reduced to a catch-phrase shouting caricature of himself in Bendis’ desperate attempt to reduce him to a marketable icon which can be plastered on tee shirts sporting an image of the gun-toting raccoon and the phrase, “Blam! Murdered you!” How sad. Bendis has so painted himself into a corner with this approach to the character that basically all Rocket says in this issue is the catch phrase and variations of it. The great thing about Volume II was that – despite his appearance (which would naturally lend itself to reduction to silly cutesy-ness in the hands of the wrong writers) – DnA never reduced him to such a caricature. Instead – they did the un-expected and played him as a smart-assy but competent “force to be reckoned with” and Star-Lord’s second in command. Bendis and Loeb seem to be hell bent on turning Rocket into a silly, hot-headed, “shoot everything in sight,” pseudo-bad-ass who callously brags about “murdering” other soldiers.

I ask again – do Bendis and Loeb actually put any thought into this hack writing?

Groot gets to shine, but Gamora and Drax are under-utilized as usual. Of course, Tony Stark gets a whole lot of panel time. What a surprise. And once again he’s totally out of place in this book. His attempts to bribe the Spartax soldiers come across as more annoying and stupid than funny. I hope Gaiman does the sensible thing and drops him from this book like the rotten potato he is. That would be a good start toward cleaning up Bendis’ train wreck.

I’m getting really tired of this Council of Kings thing that Bendis focuses on way too much in each book. They come across as a bunch of arrogant and terribly un-interesting jerks, and I just want them to go far away as they make totally boring villains. The art has declined somewhat in this issue. Looks like McNiven drew much less than in past issues. Bad mistake on Marvel’s part. A lot people were only buying this book for the art. Expect sales to fall. Ponsor’s colors remain at their usual best and help to partially make up for the decline in the art.

In summary, Bendis has reduced this book to the level of any sub-average generic Avengers book you can pick up off any shelf at any comic book store. If you substituted anyone from any Avengers roster for the Guardians, the book would read exactly the same. “Cosmic” is just a background setting in Bendis’ parochial Earth-centric approach to the characters and concepts. No awe and wonder. Plenty of generic talking and generic action. With a few minor tweaks, the story could just as easily take place at the center of Marvel’s universe – Long Island. The architects think that this approach will make the characters more “relatable” to the typical Marvel reader. Yeah – Norse Gods, billionaire playboys, WWII era super-soldiers, big green rage monsters, super-spies, a man with spider powers, mutants with indestructible metal skeletons/claws, and wisecracking assassins – they’re all 100% relatable to the typical comic book reader. But these “cosmic” characters – they’re just too “far out” for the typical comic book reader to fathom.

Get a clue architects – before you run cosmic irreparably into the ground.

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Comic Book News

Review: Nova #4 (Loeb & McGuinness)

Hear those wails of agony when you open issue #4? It’s the sound of Wolfman, Abnett, Lanning, Giffen, and everyone else who has ever written a good Nova story screaming their rage at what has been done to the Nova concepts. You don’t hear Loeb’s voice because he’s never written a Nova story. He’s only written bad NINO stories – and issue #4 continues that sad trend.

Remember when Star Trek fans hated Wesley Crusher because he detracted from the adult orientation of the show? Some writers just couldn’t resist the cutesy, silly, child oriented, hackneyed writing device where Wesley was smarter than all the adults, wiser than all the adults even though he had no actual experience/training, and “saved the ship” while all the experienced adults just fell all over themselves lost in their own incompetence. Yes, that only happened in a couple of episodes – mainly because fans loudly expressed their outrage about being talked down to and refused to accept the degradation or juvenilization of the concepts that made Star Trek great. Thanks to fan rejection, Wesley was eventually written out of the show. Too bad comic book fans won’t demand the same quality Star Trek fans demanded when faced with a similar situation.

Enter Loeb’s NINO to “Wesley Crusher-ize” the Nova concepts (thus the figurative screaming of all the writers who wrote Nova well in the past). Unfortunately, NINO survived the blast from the Chitauri warship that concluded issue #3. He was just “playing possum” to fool the lamest villains in the cosmic rogue’s gallery. After being inspired to attack the lead warship by his experiences playing video games and watching Star Wars (I’m not being sarcastic here – this is actually part of the little twerp’s “reasoning”), NINO is captured by fallen Black Nova, Titus, who is now in league with the Chitauri. Together, Titus and the Chitauri have managed to construct an Ultimate Nullifier and for some reason they want to use it on Earth. I guess they didn’t read the part of the instruction manual where the user is destroyed, too? Anyway – Titus explains how all the Black Novas were killed, NINO outsmarts Titus and grabs the nullifier, then stupidly takes the nullifier back to Earth and hides it in a garbage can outside his home. Of course, Titus follows and threatens to kill everybody NINO holds dear. We’re promised that the story will be concluded next issue. If only that meant that next issue would be the last ever – we could all stop screaming in agony. Sadly, there will be more NINO to further sully the Nova concepts and legacy.

Just when I thought this storyline couldn’t possibly get any more silly and child-oriented – Loeb ups the level of stupid juvenility and proves me wrong. Leaving aside the implausibility, recklessness, and immorality of sending an untrained and inexperienced 15-year-old child into kill-or-be-killed combat, how is it that NINO is able to fool and overpower an experienced Black Nova like Titus? Why would NINO bring an Ultimate Nullifier back to Earth where it could be used to destroy the planet rather than take it into deep space and destroy it? Stupid, stupid, stupid.

And speaking of stupid – why would Loeb kill off the only compelling characters he has created in this sorry excuse for a cosmic comic book? The Black Nova Corps was really the only partially interesting and innovative thing about Loeb’s hijacking of the Nova legacy and concepts. He kills all of them in this issue. What a stupid decision. But, of course, the “architects” mistakenly believe that “Nova” works best as a Spiderman-ish powered-down angsty teenage “Lone Ranger” flying around Long Island and hanging out with Daredevil.

Yup – I said Daredevil. “Cosmic” is now to visit Hell’s Kitchen – reduced to as street level as you can get. Editor Stephen Wacker thinks that a NINO and Daredevil team-up would be a grand idea as he falls all over himself in the letters page pretending like that (wink) “fan-suggested” story idea wasn’t already in the works. Wacker then condescendingly dismisses another fan’s complaint about alienation of the established Rider Nova fan base as essentially fanboy whining. This from an editor who regularly appears on forums to insult and otherwise antagonize the Rider Nova fan base. Here’s another idea Wacker: Team NINO with Casper the Friendly Ghost. Maybe do a cross-over with Archie and Jughead, too. That would help capture the demographic you’re aiming for with NINO wouldn’t it?

Of course, McGuinness’ art and Gracia’s coloring remain at their expected first-rate level. The art and coloring are really the only interesting thing about this book. The storyline is just hackneyed child-oriented fantasy that you’ve seen in other comic books many times in the past. So save your money and avoid this sad degradation of the once great Marvel Cosmic line. Vote with your dollars and bring this cutesy, child-oriented, insultingly bad book to its deserved end. That’s the only way to show the “architects” how wrong they are. Let’s show the “architects” that we want a mature, powerful, badass Rich Rider Nova continuing the Nova legacy – not a silly, cutesy, angsty, immature, annoying little twerp sullying the Nova legacy.

Let’s show them that we want Nova – not NINO.

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Comic Book News Marvel

Thanos Rising #2 Review

It is a crying damned shame what’s being done to cosmic in the vain pursuit of mass market appeal. Well – mass comic book reader appeal to be more precise. Loeb has turned Nova (in name only) into a child-oriented teen Spiderman clone, Bendis has turned Guardians of the Galaxy into an Earth-centric Avengers-like book re-characterizing Star- Lord et al into clichéd and unrecognizable caricatures of their former glorious selves, and now Aaron is apparently turning Thanos into an utterly disgusting run-of-the-mill psychotic serial killer – a Dexter with none of the cleverness or appeal of Dexter. And it’s not even working to attain the desired sales figures – so cosmic is being run into the ground for no reason other than the vanity of Loeb, Bendis, and the other “architects.” Like I said – a crying damned shame.

In the previous issue, Thanos was portrayed as a weird, un-likeable, pitiable little kid manipulated by Death into starting down the pathway toward becoming her avatar. In this issue, that excruciating process continues with Thanos being portrayed as a cruel, callous, brilliant, but psychotic little jerk taking pleasure from the tortured screams of his animal and Eternal victims as he vivisects them over the course of several hours and then whines about how nobody loves him. Death is constantly at his side, flirting with him and using his sexual attraction to her to encourage his sick pursuits while at the same time spurning all his overt sexual advances – an apparent attempt by the writer to explain Thanos’ death fetish. A terribly sexually frustrated Thanos even threatens to rape Death – but Death stops him cold – humiliating him, browbeating him, and otherwise psychologically castrating him as she urges him to kill again and again. Yeah – that Death is a real evil bitch. The torturing of innocents throughout this book was hard to tolerate, but the final scene of this book where Thanos begins vivisecting his helpless psychotic mother so disgusted me that I honestly don’t know if I can pick up and read another issue of this train wreck.

Now you all know that I like edgy, adult-oriented comic books, and I can even enjoy knife-kill horror stories such as Seely’s excellent and recently sadly ended Hack/Slash series, but this Thanos Rising series is pushing the boundaries in a bad way. If the writer was trying to evoke an emotionally unsettling response, he certainly succeeded – but not in such as way as to motivate me to continue buying the book. There is literally no joy to this book and that makes it a tough read. Plus – it sullies the appeal of Thanos as a villain – making him unrespectable, creepy, and disgusting (like the child murderer he’s being portrayed as) rather than how he ALWAYS SHOULD BE PORTAYED – as a force to be reckoned with.

I get it that Thanos is a tough character to write – full of inconsistencies and contradictions. This storyline is not the way to resolve the inconsistencies and contradictions. It would’ve been better to just deal with them the old fashioned way: don’t think about them too much and write a good adventure story. There is no logic or reason to Thanos’ craziness. That’s why crazy is called crazy and Thanos is called “The MAD Titan.” This attempt to impose a dark psychological background story onto Thanos to explain his madness just feels wrong and stands in stark contrast to the best Thanos stories told to date.

Giffen’s excellent Thanos series was the best portrayal of Thanos since Starlin’s early work with the character. In Giffen’s series, I could begrudgingly like and respect the brilliant magnificent bastard that was Thanos at the same time I was disliking him and hoping he would ultimately fail – all while blithely ignoring every logical contradiction inherent in the character. Now THAT’s the Thanos I want to read. This Thanos Rising portrayal of a confused, easily manipulated, sexually frustrated, psychotic, cruel, sick, whiny little jerk preying on helpless innocents? Nah – I don’t want to read this – I just want to see the Eternals put him out of his misery medieval style and as soon as possible.

The art and coloring of this book are certainly adequate to good, but they are not enough to save it.

Basically, this book is an embarrassment to the Thanos mythology. I don’t see how this is going to make a whole bunch of new Thanos fans eager to see him on the big screen for the second Avengers movie. In fact, the opposite is more likely. Frankly, I’ll be glad when this mini is over and (hopefully) forgotten as it is just one more black eye to cosmic courtesy of the architects.

What a shame.

Review: Thanos Rising #1
Comic Book News Marvel

Thanos Rising #1 Review

I had high hopes for this one, but sadly the re-launch of Marvel Cosmic continues to under-whelm and disappoint.

That being said, origin stories are difficult and Jason Aaron has chosen a particularly difficult origin story – that of Thanos the Mad Titan – a character literally filled with contradictions. He seems to be trying to make the character more accessible to the typical non-cosmic-fan comic book reader – and like Loeb’s re-launch of Nova and Bendis’ re-launch of Guardians of the Galaxy – the story and character suffer due to that effort.

Thanos was born to Mentor and Sui-San – Eternals of Titan; Thanos carries the Deviant gene and his appearance is more akin to that of Deviants than that of Eternals. He has never exhibited the Deviant ability to shape-shift. As an adult, Thanos has historically been portrayed as a tactical, scientific, and mystical genius who has boosted his natural powers as an Eternal with bionic implants and sorcery. Thanos has historically been portrayed as having what can best be described as a “death fetish” – being literally in love with the Marvel “abstract character,” Death, and going to extraordinary lengths to please her by sacrificing enormous numbers of lives to her. However, Death has nearly always been a bitch – rejecting almost all of Thanos’ advances.

Why wouldn’t he just kill himself to be with Death you ask? Well – he has occasionally – and in my opinion best been portrayed as wanting to die but unable to die due to his Eternal heritage or, most recently as portrayed in The Thanos Imperative, being the chosen Avatar of Death. His driving force in this portrayal is inability to completely fulfill his death fetish by killing himself to physically be with death, so doing the next best thing and killing others to please Death in the hope that in pleasing her his love for her will eventually cease to be unrequited. If I don’t think about it too much, I can buy that as a motivation – and both Giffen and DnA wrote some fantastic Thanos stories with Thanos being portrayed as a “Magnificent Bastard” with just such underlying dark motivations.

In contrast, Aaron has chosen to portray Thanos as born to a rejecting mother who wants to kill him and is driven insane in being prevented from doing so, and to an absent and neglectful father. Thanos as a child is shown to be bookish, nerdy, and socially awkward. Refreshingly, he is not bullied by the other Eternal children – but is instead shown acceptance and kindness despite his appearance and social awkwardness. Thanos is initially kind to animals and becomes nauseated when dissecting one in school. Then, at the behest of a character that is just suddenly dropped into the story (and who is apparently Death), he is involved in a terrible accident where several of his friends – including the girl he has a crush on – die and are eaten by animals. Thanos survives and is wracked by survivor guilt which Death capitalizes upon, misdirects to rage, and then focuses on the unfortunate animals which ate Thanos’ friends. Thanos then cruelly knife-kills all the animals while Death stands in admiration of his cruelty.

Wow. I can see how this psychological pseudo-drama will appeal to the non-cosmic-fan who has little knowledge of Thanos other than his occasional tussle with The Avengers. As a cosmic fan, I’m a bit perturbed by all the inconsistencies with continuity – both with Thanos in particular and with the Titanian Eternals in general.

In Aaron’s interpretation, Thanos is basically a nerd turned into a typical sociopath by bad parenting and the direct manipulation of the abstract character, Death. At this point, Thanos is neither a compelling nor a sympathetic character. He’s just an enormous bore who is being manipulated. That makes it hard for me to see how he becomes a threat to the universe.

The art and coloring are certainly respectable, but lack the crispness and definition that are the only saving graces of Marvel’s other two “pseudo-cosmic” titles.

All-in-all, unless this title saves itself in upcoming issues, it stands as yet another example of the decline in Marvel Cosmic from its most recent height late in the last decade.

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Comic Book News Marvel

Review: Guardians of the Galaxy #1 (Bendis & McNiven)

McNiven’s art and Ponsor’s colors are nothing short of magnificent. You’d be hard-pressed to find better “photo-realistic” style art and eye-pleasing coloring in any comic book on the shelves today. That being said, if I had to criticize anything – it would be that Star-Lord has been rendered a bit too much the “twenty-something pretty boy” rather than the older, more seasoned and hardened look of times past.  I actually prefer the older, seasoned, hardened look and feel to the character.  I know this entire series is essentially a prequel to the 2014 movie – so the characters are being rendered to look somewhat like their movie counterparts, but it’s hard for me to take this version of Star-Lord as seriously as previous versions as he looks like he should be modeling for GQ rather than leading a guerilla task force protecting Earth from incursions from the great empires controlling the local group of galaxies.

Let me pause to take some Pepto-Bismol before I talk about Bendis’ writing, story direction, and characterization.
 
There – that’s better.  Thanks.
 
First off: What the hell is Iron Man doing in this book?  I mean, I get it that he’s the “gateway” character to lure Avengers fans into actually breaking out of their rut and trying Bendis’ “Cosmic Avengers” – but his shoehorning into the book and storyline feels completely un-natural and un-necessary.  He might as well be wearing a tee-shirt with “Gateway Character” written on it. I can tolerate and enjoy Robert Downey Jr.’s interpretation of the character in the movies, but I haven’t cared for the comic book version of Tony Stark since Civil War.  I’d go as far as to say that Stark’s behavior during Civil War disqualifies him for any leadership position – much less a high-stakes one such as defending Earth from incursions.  Plus, the “duck out of water” angle doesn’t really apply to Stark as he’s had many space adventures over his career. Finally, he just doesn’t mesh well with the Guardians.  I’m sure in upcoming issues we’ll be treated to predictable clichés such as him putting the moves on Gamora. Maybe we’ll get lucky and she’ll kill him.
 
Next, what is it with the daddy issues? Why does every cosmic character have to be driven by daddy issues? Lack of creativity or originality perhaps? Besides – the daddy issues aren’t even consistent with Star-Lord continuity. Jason and Peter settled their differences back in the 1970’s storylines and even went adventuring together. How is it that Peter has been regressed in age/mentality by at least 10 years Marvel time and is back to having daddy issues? Seriously, I much prefer the grizzled smart-ass tactical genius from Annihilation and GotG Volume II to Bendis’ watering down of the character in the name of mass market appeal.
 
Also, the gateway character himself – Stark – points out that there’s numerous Avengers teams defending Earth. I’d add that there’s S.W.O.R.D., SHIELD, X-Men, and numerous other heroes, teams, and organizations available to defend Earth. Why exactly are the Guardians needing to park in low Earth orbit? Isn’t S.W.O.R.D already there? Isn’t Earth well-protected enough? Wouldn’t the Guardians be better placed back on Knowhere with access to the entire universe instantly at their fingertips? Shouldn’t the title be changed to “Guardians of the Earth?” This Earth-centric focus is once again nauseatingly aimed at mass market appeal arising from Marvel Editorial’s long-held belief that cosmic hasn’t historically sold in high numbers because there’s no market for stories set in space far away from Earth.  Yeah – I remember back in the 70’s when some said the same thing about Star Wars.  Funny that the GotG movie is already being compared to Star Wars.
 
In terms of characterization, I’m wondering why in the world Peter is suddenly so concerned with Earth to the exclusion of the rest of the local group of galaxies. The same question could be asked of Drax, Rocket, Groot, and Gamora. What’s their stake in this? Is it just loyalty to Peter? If so, that’s sure a major change in characterization from Volume II.  Also – where’s the rest of the team from Knowhere? Intuitively – it seems they’d be better choices to round out the team than Stark.
 
In the final analysis – my whole problem with Volume III is that at best it’s “GotG Light.” That is – it has some of the same characters only softened, re-characterized as less mature, and apparently motivated for vastly different reasons than those presented in Volume II. Whereas Volume II was soaring space-based para-military science-fiction, Volume III is mediocre Earth-centric clichéd super-hero-ish fantasy. Volume III’s Bendis-ification makes it pale in comparison to Volume II. With Gaiman taking over in a few issues – maybe it can be salvaged.  Let’s hope so.
 
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Comic Book News Marvel

Review: Nova #2 (Loeb & McGuinness)

Once again, McGuinness and Gracia deliver a feast for the eyes with magnificent art and coloring.

Once again, Loeb tries to set the record for cramming as many teen superhero clichés as possible into a single comic book.

It literally took me five minutes to read this book in the store, and I can honestly say that the only thing that kept me from being utterly bored by it was my outrage at Loeb’s rape and strangulation of the concepts that made Nova Volume IV and Guardians of the Galaxy Volume II great.

Let’s start with characterization – specifically Gamora and Rocket.  Instead of the sexy, dangerous, impulsive sociopath, Gamora has been reduced to a “Princess Leia” role uncharacteristically urging restraint while muttering something about NINO being “Our last best hope.” Pardon me while I roll my eyes at this hackneyed and – in this case – totally stupid story device. Two of the greatest warriors in the local group pinning all their hopes on a 15-year-old kid Yeah – that’s plausible – if you’re the nine-year-old boy at whom this book is presumably aimed.

Instead of the smart-ass cool tactician, Rocket is reduced to a hot-headed, impulsive, insensitive jerk who starts firing his weapon at a scared, startled child. Pardon me while I sadly shake my head in disgust.

Is this the Gamora and Rocket we knew and grew to admire in Guardians of the Galaxy Volume II?  I think not. Total mischaracterizations of both by a writer who clearly doesn’t care about what the fans really want from Marvel Cosmic? I think so.

And haven’t we seen this “I know what I saw, so why won’t anybody believe me” type scene many times before in other comic books and in movies and cartoons aimed at the pre-pubescent crowd?  What about the “testing out the powers” scene?  Or the flying through the town signpost scene? Or the “throwing away of the helmet and having it boomerang back” scene?  Or the maudlin daddy issues scene?  Like I said – cliché after cliché.

At least issue #1 had the Black-Ops scenes to save it from being totally boring. No such luck with this issue. Between the clichés, the morphing of Gamora/Rocket into generic supporting character roles, and the total un-likeability of the main character; this issue was a real snooze fest. Literally nothing of real interest happened.

I’m also finding that I’m growing to dislike the manga costume (I refuse to call it a uniform) more and more every time I see it. The adults in the Black-Ops Cohort could pull it off – but it looks totally ridiculous on a 15-year-old kid. 

In the last review I said I could at least respect Wacker’s honesty in telling the Rider Nova fans to take a hike if they didn’t like Loeb’s hack-job on the Nova concepts. I take that back now. After spending so much time denigrating and disrespecting the Rider Nova fans on various forums, Wacker now reverses himself in the letters page of this book and tries to glad-hand the Rider Nova fans. His about-face seems less than genuine to me, and I found it to be the most egregious insult yet – as if a “shout-out” is going to change anything.

Too many brave trees gave their lives needlessly for this book. If not for the art it would be a total waste of paper. If you must satisfy your curiosity, just thumb through this book in the shop and put it back on the shelf. It isn’t worth your time and money.

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Comic Book News Marvel

Op-Ed: Marvel Pseudo-Cosmic: The Decline of Marvel Cosmic under Alonso, Brevoort, Quesada, Whacker, Bendis, and Loeb

(Editor’s Note: “The Cosmic Triune” is a series of opinionated articles focusing on Marvel Cosmic.)

 

The Cosmic Triune

An Opinion-Editorial

By Timelord

 

Marvel Pseudo-Cosmic: 

The Decline of Marvel Cosmic under Alonso, Brevoort, Quesada, Whacker, Bendis, and Loeb

 

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In preparation for this article I re-read the very first Marvel Cosmic comic I ever purchased – The Mighty Thor #227.  It was published in 1974 with a cover price of 25 cents and I remember seeing it on the wire spinner rack in my home town’s mom and pop drug store.  I was fascinated by the cover art of Thor, Hercules, and Firelord, and the blurb promising me an epic adventure with our heroes and Galactus fighting Ego The Living Planet.  If you’ve never read it, it’s a top notch Cosmic story that holds up well to the present day.  It’s the story that made me a Marvel Cosmic fan – and – I would point out that the story takes place in deep space, has absolutely nothing to do with Earth, respects the space-based characters, and talks up to the readers as if they’re adults.  I also reviewed Nova Volume I, Nova Volume IV, DnA’s Guardians of the Galaxy series, Starlin’s Infinity Gauntlet, Giffen’s Annihilation mini-series, Englehart’s Star-Lord origin story, and DnA’s Thanos Imperative mini-series as I consider these to be some of the best representations of Marvel Cosmic done right.

In February of 2011 I wrote an Opinion-Editorial called “Marvel Editorial to Cosmic Fans: We’re Just Not That Into You” and in August of 2011 I wrote a follow-up Op-Ed called Re-lauching Marvel Cosmic.  In “We’re Just Not That Into You” I described how latter day Marvel Editorial has disrespected and disappointed Cosmic Fans with their decisions about handling Nova and Guardians of the Galaxy; prompting a Twitter response from Marvel’s Tom Brevoort objecting to points I made in the article and prompting Mr. Bendis to block CBN from his Twitter feed.  In “Re-launching Marvel Cosmic,” which was published in response to Nova and Guardians of the Galaxy being put on “hiatus” with a promised quick return, I made suggestions about how Cosmic could be re-launched to better appeal to today’s Cosmic fans.  In response, Mr. Brevoort tweeted that I should just start reading Green Lantern.

After reading Loeb’s two Point One “Nova” (in name only) stories, watching Loeb’s treatment of “Nova” (in name only) on his Ultimate Spiderman cartoon, reading Bendis’ treatment of Guardians of the Galaxy (in name only) over the last three issues of Avengers Assemble as well as Bendis’ re-telling of Englehart’s Star-Lord origin story in the latest Point One – and comparing these efforts to the best of true Marvel Cosmic as identified above, I have some reactions to share.

If you take a look at the August 2011 “Re-launching Marvel Cosmic” Op-Ed – which basically identifies the most appealing elements of true Marvel Cosmic – and you compare it to what Marvel Editorial, Bendis, and Loeb are currently doing, you’ll see that they’re basically doing the opposite of everything that in the past made Marvel Cosmic great.

First, let’s consider Loeb’s juvenile treatment of – and I can barely write it without feeling sick – Nova.  In fact, to minimize the pain, I’ll hereinafter refer to Loeb’s treatment as “Nova In Name Only” or “NINO” for short.  As all true Cosmic fans know, Wolfman’s 1976 conception of Nova was street-level Spiderman-ish at first and toward the end of the run, he was moving Rich Rider toward more maturity and toward being more of a space-based character true to his origin story.  That’s not just my opinion or my analysis of The Man Called Nova series; Mr. Wolfman confirmed to me in a personal communication last year that he was going to move Nova to more mature space-based storylines had the series not been cancelled.  Later, Nova became the stand-out character in the New Warriors series and had two follow-up series where his earlier street-level Spiderman-ish characterization was retained by the writers of those series.  Then, Keith Giffen gave us Annihilation and everything changed for the better.

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Giffen is quoted as saying that at first he didn’t understand Nova’s appeal.  Then he read through all the previous material and he understood what all us Nova fans – including Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning – had known all along.  The appeal was never the teenage Spiderman-ish routine.  The appeal was the potential – glimpsed in several Nova storylines and realized in a few – for a space-based para-military character that capitalized on the themes from popular science-fiction franchises of the past several decades such as Star Wars, Star Trek, and various video games.  Giffen’s re-characterization of Nova gave us a mature, confident, space-based, powerful para-military leader that the Nova fans wholeheartedly embraced as the realization of the potential we always knew the character possessed.  DnA retained this penultimate Nova characterization for most of their Nova Volume IV tenure which has been embraced by Nova fans as the best Nova series since Volume I.  So, for any bloggers and any Editors who condescendingly dismiss the complaints of true Nova fans in response to Loeb’s NINO as typical fanboy outrage about re-booting or re-characterization; I say in response that Nova fans have a history of embracing re-booting/re-characterization when it’s for the better; and only complaining when it’s for the worse.  NINO is for the worse.

Sad thing is – Loeb’s NINO is worse than re-booting or re-characterization.  It’s basically a hi-jacking of the character.  He takes some of the more interesting concepts from the true Nova’s history, modifies them in a manner disrespectful to the character’s continuity, waters them down to Earth-based street level, dumbs them down to juvenile level, and transplants them into an immature, obnoxious, un-likeable teenager named Sam Alexander.  I’m feeling sick again.  Gone is our powerful, mature, confident, para-military leader.  He’s been shoe-horned out of the way by bad Editorial decision making and replaced with a teenage Peter Parker-ish, powered down, ineffective teen twit that even the USM cartoon’s Spiderman doesn’t like.  Sam wouldn’t make a good sidekick much less a true leader. 

Truth is, Loeb doesn’t understand Nova.  He’s just trying once again to re-create Spiderman. It won’t work.  In this latest foray with Diamondhead, for the first time in 36 years of Nova fandom I was rooting for Diamondhead to win.  And it’s basically the same story as when NINO faced Terrax.  He basically gets his ass kicked, accidentally “wins” the fight, then runs off to find The Avengers.  Pathetic.  Mr. Loeb – you don’t understand Nova and Nova fans.  Your NINO is several orders of magnitude inferior to the original 1976 characterization.  Your NINO is un-necessary as Giffen gave Nova fans the Nova we had always wanted.  Your NINO is the “Nova” that no true Nova fan EVER wanted.  Your NINO is extremely disrespectful to the 36 year history of the character and to all long term Nova fans.  I used to buy two or more issues of every Nova comic to do my part in keeping sales high and the series going.  I won’t buy a single issue of NINO, and I hope it dies a quick cruel death and is quickly forgotten.  No Nova is better than NINO.

Now let’s consider Bendis’ take on Guardians of the Galaxy.  Or shouldn’t it be re-named Guardians of the Earth since Bendis has now made them Earth-based?  Or maybe he should just re-name his take Guardians of the Caribbean since he refers to Ship as a “pirate ship.”  Disney would probably love the conflation of two of its properties and see it as a way to make sure the Guardians of the Galaxy movie is a success.  I’m being sarcastic so don’t jump me about that last comment in the forums.

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Don’t go pointing at the Point One Star-Lord origin story and telling me how good Bendis’ take is.  I agree that that story was well done.  But that’s a re-telling of a good Englehart story from the 70’s.  Bendis’ original take is exemplified in the last three issues of Avengers Assemble where the Guardians of the Galaxy play second fiddle to The Avengers in taking down Thanos who puts in his most bumbling performance as a Cosmic Cube seeking villain since the dreadful and infamous story where he fought Spiderman and Hellcat for a Cosmic Cube while flying in the “Thanos Copter” and ended up being led away in handcuffs by the NYPD.  So Tony Stark is smarter than Thanos and The Elders of the Universe? Really? So, Star-Lord, Drax, and Rocket Racoon deliver lines reminiscent of bad 1980’s cop movies/TV shows?  Also, stilted dialog, poor characterization, and complete disrespect for the concepts introduced by DnA that made their take on GotG good enough to attract the attention of Hollywood.  Did I miss anything?  Oh yes – I did.  What the hell is Tony Stark doing as part of the team?  Stealing the show if I guess right.  And again, to bloggers and Editors who would accuse me of DnA fanboy-ism; I invite you to read any of my reviews of their work on Nova and GotG.  I think they did the best take on Nova and GotG ever, but I was by no means easy on them.  I also did not follow their work on Heroes for Hire, Villains for Hire, or New Mutants, and I flat out didn’t like Annihilators.

Mr. Bendis – you don’t understand Guardians of the Galaxy or Science-Fiction.  Your take on GotG would have been average for popular science-fiction in 1955, but it’s not even close to good popular SF now.  And by the way sir, science-fiction fans prefer the shorthand “SF” and not the condescending term, “sci-fi.” Keep that in mind for your future interviews with your fanboys at Newsarama who should know better.  The galaxy/universe are big places and Earth is an insignificant part of the galaxy/universe.  Your reduction of concepts epic in scope dealing with the awe and wonder of the universe to parochial, Earthcentric, street-level tripe is disrespectful of the concepts that made DnA’s GotG take great.  There was no need to do this.  We already had a version of GotG very different from the original and embraced by the fans.  We didn’t want your “Cosmic Avengers.”  We wanted “The Cosmic Dirty Dozen.”  I won’t be buying your take.

The upshot is that Marvel Cosmic is no longer truly cosmic.  It has been reduced to hackneyed Earthcentric, small scope, street level, trite super-hero concepts with the characters just happening to have some connection to space. This is “pseudo-cosmic” at best.  So, until Marvel re-embraces the concepts that once made Cosmic great, I suggest that we refer to Bendis’ and Loeb’s efforts as “Marvel Pseudo-Cosmic,” and I urge the 40,000 or so loyal and true Cosmic fans to join me in boycotting Marvel Pseudo-Cosmic.  Pseudo-Cosmic is not better than no Cosmic at all.  It taints true Cosmic.  It corrupts good and true Cosmic concepts. It needs to go away quickly and be forgotten lest it become as much an object of derision as the “Thanos Copter.”

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Movie News

Timelord Reviews: Nova Infinite Comic

[[wysiwyg_imageupload:1264:]]Okay – the art was amazing and the writing was very well done for the type of story it is.  But let’s not get bedazzled by Immonen and Waid.  This is probably their first and last foray with this new character.  If you want to see what less talented writers and artists do with this new character, check out the next episode of Ultimate Spiderman this weekend.  I watched both premiere episodes last weekend.  Let’s just say my teeth still hurt from all the grinding I did of them as I suffered through that torturous hour.

I put “Nova” in quotes for a reason.  This is “Nova” in name only (i.e., NINO).

Here’s why this is NINO.

What we are presented with is a hackneyed premise:  Angst-ridden teenage boy mysteriously acquires strange powers which he barely understands.  While trying to do good, he unwittingly misuses these powers requiring rescue by headliner heroes.  Upon recovery, he adopts a smart-alec or over-confident attitude to hide his insecurity – again requiring mentoring and/or rescuing by headliner heroes as he persistently uses bad judgment and becomes the perpetual teen sidekick. 

How many times have you encountered that premise over the course of your comics reading history?  If you’re a long time reader, the correct answer is:  “Too many.” 

If you’re a long term Nova reader; your next thoughts should be, “Didn’t we already go through this in the 1970’s?  And again in the 1990’s?”  With Volume IV of Nova, I thought we had finally put this teen angst second-stringer tripe behind us – but apparently Alonso, Brevoort, and Loeb can’t trot that formula out to sell too many times.

Sure – the uniform borrows elements from the classic and some of Wolfman’s and DnA’s concepts have been retained (albeit in bastardized form).  But make no mistake, this is not Nova.  This is “Nova” – a pale imitation and an un-necessary downgrading reboot of a concept that had finally matured with the advent of Annihilation and Volume IV.

Frankly, if it was this or nothing – I’d have preferred nothing.  At least we’d have a history of some great stories and the concept would’ve remained un-sullied.

Disagree with my assessment?  I invite you to look at that last panel where scrawny unconscious teen “Nova” is carried away in the arms of big, tough, wise Iron Man.  That should tell you all you need to know about Sam Alexander.  He’s no Nova Prime.  He’s NINO. 

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Movie News

Review: Invincible #86

Marvel Cosmic has been eating DC’s spacedust for months.  Now add Image to the list of publishers leaving Marvel behind in the spacedust.

Invincible #86 will be a delight to any cosmic fan.  The showdown between Nolan and Allen comes to a head with the fate of all life on Earth in the balance.  Oliver plays a pivotal role in this issue – and while his decisions may surprise some new readers –  long term fans of the series will appreciate that Oliver is acting perfectly in character.

Kirkman is back on point with this issue, a welcome trend that I hope continues as the focus for next issue looks to be Earth since The Coalition of Planets is coming to pay a visit. Walker’s art will delight the most hard core of fans and Plascencia’s colors are eye popping as usual.

Cosmic fans will want to read this issue.  It doesn’t require familiarity with the back story to be enjoyed – and it might just make an Invinci-fan out of you if you aren’t one already.  Don’t take my word for it though.  Pick up an issue and see for yourself why Invincible is in the top tier of cosmic comics and is likely to stay there.

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Comic Book News

Review: Invincible #85

  Since the end of The Viltrumite War arc, Mark has been biding his time on Earth doing quite a bit of soul searching.  The pace of the storyline had slowed a bit – and some fans were beginning to wonder where Kirkman was heading.  With #85 hitting the stands, now we know right where