Ahsoka Episode 3 Review: More Star Wars Garbage

Following the first two meager episodes, Ahsoka Episode 3 is released tonight and it’s absolutely more Star Wars garbage.

It’s a short 30-minute episode where nothing really happens until the end of the episode, which isn’t enough to make up for the previous 28 minutes.

Rip-off of The Matrix

The first 7 minutes are a pure rip-off of The Matrix where Ahsoka attempts to train Sabine Wren, which is also a lame attempt at how Obi-Wan trained Luke.

I am kind of lost, though, and correct me if I am wrong, but Ahsoka isn’t a Jedi. Also, this show seems more and more like it should be called “Sabine” and not Ahsoka.

From there we get more cringe scenes with Mary Elizabeth Winstead who is absolutely useless in this series, and similar to the two previous episodes, all it is is people standing around with their reactions shown as they look at each other. I can’t help but laugh.

Strong is the Force not in Sabine

Speaking of useless, the footage cuts back to Sabine who can’t move a cup of coffee with The Force. Wow.

So Hera reveals to the Senators that Imperial loyalists exist at the location where they are creating ships from former Star Destroyers, but the Senators don’t care, and one questions Hera about missing Ezra and that she is making it all up or something. Okay.

What that story beat did was let Ahsoka and Sabine go on their own as they investigate the whereabouts of Grand Admiral Thrawn and discover a hyperspace bridge is being built, unlike anything seen in millennia. Okay, not bad.

However, as they make their way to investigate, they are attacked by a half dozen ships including Shin Hati and whoever Marok is but what happens is absolute trash.

Taking a page out of the Stormtroopers, the ships aren’t able to hit Ahsoka’s ship, so the Hyperspace bridge has its own cannons and manages to shoot down Ahoska’s ship. Morgan Elsbeth thinks she is victorious, but nope, so Shin has to go finish the job.

Pure trash

In a scene similar to The Last Jedi with the flying Princess Leia, Ahsoka goes out into space, does some flips in space, and uses her lightsabers to deflect laser blasts AND take out one of the ships.

So instead of blasting the ship which is a target 1000x larger than Ahsoka, the ships try to take out Ahsoka? What?

Ahsoka is then floating through space waiting for Sabine to fix the ship simply by pressing a few buttons after it got decimated by cannon fire, and picks her up.

The scene is just awful and the writing is atrocious. I’d be completely embarrassed to be associated with this show.

👀 https://t.co/BYxglSMSVQ

— Cosmic Book News – Matt McGloin (@cosmicbooknews) August 30, 2023

Excited by space whales

Next, we are supposed to get excited by giant space whales, which if you haven’t watched the animated shows, you are clueless about. They had something to do with the final battle between Grand Admiral Thrawn and Ezra which led to both of them disappearing (I am hoping Ezra becomes a Sith or at least a bad guy).

So Ahsoka and Sabine’s ship is miraculously put back together and able to fly and outrun Shin and manages to land on the planet, turn off the power, and evade getting destroyed.

Cue to the best scene of the episode with the late Ray Stevenson as Baylan Skoll who tells the droids to go after Ahsoka and Sabine in the forest, but again I am lost, he keeps referring to them as Jedi. And of course, Ray Stevenson is in the episode for all of 30 seconds.

Update: It’s also stated in the episode “I suppose you do come from a long line of non-traditional Jedi.” Obviously, that is said to show that Ahsoka and Sabine are Jedi, but again, while the likes of Anakin, Luke, etc. are Jedi, Ahsoka is not a Jedi and can’t train someone to be a Jedi. It’s dumb.

The first three episodes have some good and bad stuff, but I think they could have been edited down to maybe two longer episodes, which would have been a lot better.

Ahsoka has yet to deliver.