2013 Oscars: Results, Opinions & Fallout

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Oscar Fallout 2013

What the hell just happened?

By: Lawrence Napoli

What can I say?  Oscar night is a magical night.  It’s my Super Bowl night and I was really anticipating the results of this evening because the films up for contention were much more interesting from top to bottom than last year.  I was also intrigued to see how Seth MacFarlane would host such a gala event and his selection makes a lot of sense, right?  He’s been celebrated for being the ring master behind Family Guy that has delivered countless laughs that poke fun at anything and everything, but particularly, the “ridiculousness” of American pop culture.  In a way, his selection is quite ironic because The Academy Awards represent a hallmark in Americana that he wouldn’t mind completely ripping into for its elitism, shallowness, and plasticized prima facie.  However, this stage represents an opportunity for his irreverent comedy to keep this show fresh and significant to the movie patrons of the future.  Considering the extra attention this evening is receiving for the political films that are the frontrunners this evening, I fully expect a Brian Griffin moment from Seth where he makes an observation that is neither too hilarious, nor too poignant and everyone pauses for consideration.  That being said, Seth will either soar with the eagles or crash and burn and melt and leave a really bad smell afterwards.  How did it turn out?  Read on Cosmic Book News faithful, read on.

[Red carpet observation: What was the deal with all the white girls getting the memo regarding the requirement to show up with equally white dresses?  Noteworthy exceptions to this were Jennifer Anniston, Catherine Zeta Jones and Nicole Kidman.]

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Opening Ceremony

I really appreciated Seth’s rip on The Artist right off the bat.  It also didn’t take long for Seth to get a few “ooo” moments for the jokes he made: Chris Brown/Rhianna.  And then Captain Kirk appears?  Ok so, it led into Seth’s first musical number (pre-recorded, but pretty funny about all the women we saw the b–bs of), but the little dance number between Channing Tatum and Charlize Theron was unexpected, but completely adorable.  Then Daniel Radcliffe, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Seth perform a short rendition of “High Hopes.”  Obviously Harry Potter has Broadway skills, but who knew Robin could sing, too?  This led to a skit of MacFarlane hitting on Sally Field in a “Flying Nun” costume.  Meh.

Please do take a box office bow, gentlemen.  But where are the mighty Thor and the seductive Black Widow?  Excellent live chemistry was displayed by the group in attendance led by Tony Stark himself.  I just wished they could have been given more time to do their thing.  Guess I’ll just have to wait for The Avengers 2.  Good for Life of Pi, but the cinematography had better look great when the whole film is practically CGI.

Kerry Washington and Jaime Fox present Best Live Action Short Film – Curfew (Shawn Christensen). 

I understand the need to thank The Academy for supporting the more obscure categories such as this, but it would be better if The Academy showed some real love to this category by making some comprehensive programs for those interested to actually see these little nuggets of gold.

Best Documentary Short – Inocente (Sean and Andrea Fine). 

So, the subject of this documentary was homeless last week and so shame on Hollywood for not getting artists like her seen and heard?  How about shame on humanity for allowing atrocity like hunger and homelessness to exist anywhere!  Look, I’m happy they won, but let’s have some solutions before pointing fingers.

Ben Affleck thanks Seth for the constant ribbing and presents Best Documentary Feature – Searching for Sugar Man (Malik Bendjelloul and Simon Chin).

I’m glad that the one documentary that didn’t cover absolutely depressing material won, but I really hate the Jaws theme being used (AGAIN) to play people off their speeches.  It’s starting to get annoying.

[Best MacFarlane joke of the night so far: “The cast of Prometheus tells us, what the hell was going on there?”]

Jennifer Garner and Jessica Chastain present Best Foreign Language Film – Amour (Austria).

Yay Austria, but then Seth MacFarlane thanks the orchestra and there’s a moment where everyone thought he was joking about it as they played behind his presentation.  One word: awkward.

Catherine Zeta Jones performs All That Jazz

If her singing was, in fact, live singing, then color me impressed.  If she was just lip syncing it, oh well, everyone’s doing it and I’m less impressed.  Still, she had to record it at some point.

Jennifer Hudson sings a number from Dream Girls

This number certainly sounded live because we could all hear her breaths as she swung the mic dramatically away from her mouth.  Jennifer’s a professional singer and she won an Academy Award for acting as a singer in this movie, so it better be live because it certainly kicked all sorts of ass.

The cast of Les Misérables performs together.

I really enjoyed the staging of this musical number which incorporated everyone’s entrance (and I mean EVERYONE) as they rallied around One Day More.  Yeah, yeah, Russell Crowe still did his thing, but they sounded great as a collective.  Screw you Adam Lambert.  If you thought they were so terrible, get all your friends together and make your own musical adaptation. 

Mark Walhberg and Ted present Best Sound Mixing – Les Misérables (Andy Nelson and co.). 

I guess Ted had to do all the comic heavy lifting because Marky Mark was having none of it.  It makes all the sense in the world that a film requiring the balance between sound, dialogue, sound effects and background music would win this award.  No other film had such a heavy sound mixing burden.

Best Sound Editing – WTF?  (No BS, but a tie?)  Zero Dark Thirty and Skyfall.

I can’t remember a tie for an Oscar in recent memory and it only ever happened twice before: once in 1932 for the best actor and a second time in 1968 for best actress.  And now it’s a third . . . for best sound editing? 

Christopher Plummer presents Best Supporting Actress – Anne Hathaway

Sitting next to her Les Miz costar, Hugh Jackman, Anne makes a nice gesture acknowledging every other nominee as well as the Wolverine himself.  She got so much hype for winning this award, but it was hype well deserved because it was an amazing performance. 

Sandra Bullock presents Best Film Editing – Argo (William Goldenberg)

It took a while for Argo to make any kind of splash but here it is.  And speaking of firsts, people winning their first awards seems to be the theme of the evening.  This doesn’t look good for the likes of Daniel Day Lewis.

Adele performs Skyfall

So we all know this song will win the Oscar later on in the evening right?  I’d just like to make note of the fact that Adele sings so well in that voice when she’s as British as the day is long.  Regardless, it was another inspired performance by a “true” singer which is actually better than the recorded version for the film.

Daniel Radcliffe and Kristen Stewart present Best Production Design – Lincoln (Rick Carter and Jim Erikson).

Another Oscar frontrunner picks up its first award and although this film did not involve any fantastic settings or highly stylize set pieces, the effectiveness of the production design was no less impactful.  By the way, if Stewart injured herself some way, why is she determined to hobble around like the walking dead (pun intended)?  Her constant grimacing was kind of annoying, so let’s get her some assistance and I don’t just mean from the Actor’s Studio. 

George Clooney presents In Memoriam

The obvious somber moment of the evening plays out like normal, but then opens up to Barbara Streisand singing Memories as only she can.  All that can be said is that she gave us all a beautiful and heartfelt performance.  Streisand is the epitome of dignity and class.

Some of the cast of Chicago present Best Musical Score – Life of Pi (Mychael Danna).

Chalk up another for the Ang Lee’s production, but it is unfortunate that no one on his cast or crew can pronounce his name correctly.  Pi is seems unstoppable at this point.

Best Original Song – Adele’s Skyfall

Good for Adele, but once again, no surprise here.  Anyone else signing this song, however, doesn’t bring the attention required to take home the victory. 

Charlize Theron and Dustin Hoffman present Best Adapted Screenplay – Argo (Chris Terrio).

Argo’s writer makes the first political statement of the evening giving a nod to nonviolent means of solving international problems.  Perhaps that message will get across to the US government, but it is not this day.

Best Original Screenplay – Django Unchained (Quentin Tarantino).

Nice leather tie Q.  It was an interesting move to thank the power of his characters for his writing.  Although I will say that this year’s films were certainly better overall than last year’s, but I’m not necessarily thinking that this year was, in fact, the year for the writers.  Battleship and John Carter still happened this past year.  What about them?

Michael Douglas and Jane Fonda present Best Director – Ang Lee (Life of Pi).

Yes!  More redemption for the terrible Hulk.  With so many awards going Pi’s way, this really wasn’t a surprise.  Thanking Taiwan is interesting in that it’s dangerously close to thanking our good buddies in China who are having a blast hacking our databases for industrial espionage, crushing our economy with slave labor and probably prepping for WW III.  How much money do you think Lee’s production paid his two crews in India and Taiwan?

Jean Dujardin presents Best Actress – Jennifer Lawrence (Silver Linings Playbook).

Holy *ucking sh*t!  Don’t get me wrong, I love Jennifer, but wow.  She had the hype, she had The Hunger Games and she has the whole of Hollywood eating out of the palm of her hand.  She is talented, she is capable, but she better not screw up the good fortune she’s found early on in her career.  Many actors have long careers with zero recognition and honorary Oscars do not count.  Christopher Plummer taught me that.  Good for you Jennifer, but you still have two more Hunger Games to muddle through.

Meryl Streep presents Best Actor – Daniel Day Lewis.

About damn time!  The most deserving winner for the most perfect category: this man became Abraham Lincoln.  No one else can claim this level of immersion.  Daniel offered up the best acceptance speech of the evening with a good dose of comedy.  Cheers Daniel!  Keep making and taking incredible roles.  

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Ben’s co-producers took a specific time out to thank and re-thank Ben Affleck for his directing contributions to the film as a final “stick it” to The Academy.  Argo is deserving of this victory because of the story.  Please refer to my review concerning the historical accuracy of the actual event, but I don’t care if it was or wasn’t.  I want to be entertained and if the story is compelling enough, I will do research to find the “real” real story.