Skeleton Crew Episode 7 Review: Mixed Bag

The penultimate episode of Skeleton Crew is now available on Disney+. While it’s a good episode overall, its nonsensical writing detracts from my enjoyment.

I really enjoyed the first three episodes. Episode 4, however, took a big nosedive. Episodes 5 and 6 were okay, but things pick up with Episode 7—although it’s held back by bad writing and cringe-worthy moments. When you mix kids with something like Star Wars, it’s crucial to avoid cringe at all costs (looking at you, Phantom Menace). Fans already expect it, and including it just turns into an eye-roll moment.

I liked the first three episodes because they didn’t feel childish. They avoided being goofy or talking down to the audience, assuming only young kids were watching. Kids didn’t fall in love with Star Wars because it catered to them; they fell in love with the cool stuff—Luke Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Darth f’n Vader. Star Wars didn’t become goofy until Lucas introduced the Ewoks, and it was downhill from there.

With Skeleton Crew Episode 7, the episode is really good until about the halfway point. Jude Law, who has been fantastic throughout the series, retakes not only his original ship but also the Onyx. The droid 33—who I really like, as all the droids in Star Wars have distinct personalities—fits perfectly as a pirate droid. It makes sense that a droid on a pirate ship would adopt pirate-like traits, especially if programmed that way by the captain. Anyway…

At one point, 33 declares that there can only be one captain of a ship. Jude Law’s Jod quickly realizes what needs to be said, and so does Wim, but Jod is smart enough to stop Wim from saying it. Jod simply declares himself the captain and claims the ship.

Unfortunately, this is where the cringe moment of the episode kicks in—and it’s completely nonsensical. Fern says, “I call unclaimsies.” Huh??? Seriously, I even turned on closed captioning on my PC to confirm it (pictured above). Then, 33 just goes along with it and punches out Jod. WTF? I’m watching this right now, shaking my head and literally saying out loud, “So f’n stupid.”

I can’t help but picture some clueless writer or producer struggling to figure out how the kids would reclaim the ship, and then settling on this ridiculous idea. It’s terrible. Once again, it makes no sense and doesn’t fit within the Star Wars universe. Kids wouldn’t think this way—it’s clearly an adult’s misguided attempt at creating something “cute.” I’m shaking my head because it comes off so poorly.

Another nonsensical moment happens when the pirate ship captures the Onyx as it arrives at At Attin using a tractor beam. Okay, cool. But when the Onyx escapes, instead of using the tractor beam again, they send ships in pursuit. Why not just use the tractor beam again???

More bad writing: After 33 knocks out Jod, apparently, 33 threw him off the ship. However, when the kids retake the ship because of “unclaimsies,” Jod somehow just walks back on as they leave the pirate ship bay. Huh? Then, Jod surprises them, chops off 33’s head with a lightsaber, and reclaims the ship again. WTF!

There’s really only about one or two minutes of bad writing, but it’s used to move the plot from “point A to point B,” and it just doesn’t work at all. Those moments completely kill the episode.

“So, what did I like about the episode?

The overall story is solid, even if the execution is a bit wonky. I really like the actors—Jude Law, as always, is excellent (seriously, who else wanted him to squish the rat?! Come on!). The child actors are also great. As I mentioned before, they have a natural chemistry, as if they’ve known each other for years.

I also appreciated the special effects—everything looked fantastic. Seeing At Attin and the mint was especially cool.

The episode, much like the earlier ones, left me wanting more. Unfortunately, there’s only one episode left to wrap everything up. Fingers crossed it doesn’t end on a cliffhanger.

The Verdict:

I wish the writing had been better. The episode could have been near perfect. Unfortunately, I have to give it a 6/10. If you can overlook the bad writing points I mentioned earlier, you’ll probably enjoy it a lot more—but I just can’t let it slide. Accepting something flawed feels like approving it, and that only leads to more bad writing. I want this to be the best it can be.

If they had done it right, the episode probably would have been a 9/10.

Oh, did anyone catch the name of the pirate ship sent after the kids? It was the Ravager. It reminded me of James Gunn’s Guardians of the Galaxy movies—just like the pirates do.