Brew’s Crew: Vext



Like so many other great cosmic characters or situations, Vext, briefly a part of the DCU, was created by CBN fan fave writer Keith Giffen.

Vext is a god from the Jejune Realm (also known as the Borough of Mawkish Indifference) in the Pan-Dimensional Pantheons. He is the “patron deity of mishap and misfortune,” and true to that appellation, his world was phased out of existence because he and the other deities there were no longer actively worshiped by mankind. From childhood, he has been beset by misfortune, and even visited the Garden of Eden and accidentally caused the Fall of Man and the sinking of the RMS Titanic! (Man, Bad Luck Schleprock had nothing on THIS dude!)

It takes approximately 23 years for the line of gods from the Jejune Realm to be processed. Everyone is told to cooperate or face instant termination. Vext finds himself in a waiting room, then dealing with a mustached female caseworker. She cannot get his name right and despite Vext trying to assist, she summons the executioners. They in fact go to the cubicle next door and kill the entity that the caseworker had mistaken Vext for.

Finally, he is simply evicted to a random realm, which turns out to be Earth. He is given appropriate funds to start a new life and not much training. He is told he cannot interfere with the course of human affairs, try to take over the planet, or become a super-hero.

He rents an apartment, 4-A, in Mr. Danforth’s apartment building in Delta City, which was also the home of a hero known as the Heckler (though he was not mentioned or seen in “Vext”; Holy Bendis, Batman!). Vext’s next-door neighbor is aspiring writer Colleen McBride, who does her best to help Vext adjust to his new life on Earth (not knowing, for most of the series, that Vext was a god). For example, she (at least tries to) helps him deal with the concept of banks and the inaccuracies of the profoundly deaf landlord.

In the first issue of his short-lived 1999 comic book, Vext is visited by Superman and the angel Zauriel who tell him they will be keeping an eye on him. At first, Colleen assumes that they are role-players.

Vext also must deal with the mistake-prone Department of Motor Vehicles. In one rare moment of “luck,” Colleen’s treat of a fast food hamburger comes complete with an army of sentient microscopic bacteria. Vext’s non-earthly biology swiftly deals with them, saving many innocent people.

A sub-thread running through the series is an amoral, murderous adventurer and his two equally homicidal assistants who wish to gain power through the exploitation of minor gods such as Vext. Much of their adventures deal with the God of Inappropriate Flatulence.

And boy, am I vexed!